


Island Song

by jenunjen96816



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-24 02:45:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 91,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9696269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenunjen96816/pseuds/jenunjen96816
Summary: AU. Ali is a successful business woman who is focused on work. She travels to Hawaii for a conference with the intention of furthering her career, when a chance meeting with a gorgeous surfer girl changes everything...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I originally posted this a couple years ago (it was my first story), but somehow I lost my account and all of my stories, so I am reposting again.
> 
> This story will incorporate some Hawaiian words and phrases. I will put them in italics, with the English translation right after it.
> 
> Mahalo for reading, and I hope you enjoy the story.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we are beginning our initial descent into Honolulu…”

Ali’s eyes fluttered open as she heard the captain’s voice through the intercom. She opened the window of her first class seat and stared out as the plane descended into a beautiful Hawaiian afternoon. The ocean sparkled a sapphire blue beneath, as the volcanic mountains stood in the distance. She exhaled a deep breath and smiled. It had been a long flight from Chicago, but she was almost there. Three weeks in paradise.

As a successful VP director at a large marketing agency in Chicago, Ali had been selected from over two hundred some-odd people in her agency by the company’s executive staff to attend a global marketing conference in Honolulu, all expenses paid. It was a big honor to be selected, and Ali smiled at the thought of the privilege. It was validation that all of her hard work had paid off. She had done well in high school, paying attention in class when others had ditched. She had done well in college, staying in to study when others had gone to the bars. She had worked internships when others had spent time tailgating at football games. And she had graduated in three and a half years and found a job right away, when others had taken longer to graduate and had floundered in the tough job market. She had put in her time and the hours and had slogged through the grunt work and climbed her way up the company ladder. Now, at the age of 30, she was the youngest vice president in the company, and she was on the fast track to joining the ranks of the executive staff. Yes, she thought – all of the hard work and sacrifice was finally starting to pay off. She had it all - a job she loved at a company that was on the rise, a hefty salary, a plush apartment in a high rise building on Lake Michigan, and good friends. And, she was still in great shape. She had kept up with fitness ever since her days as captain of the soccer team at a prestigious high school on Chicago’s north shore, and her toned physique complemented her beautiful face and long, flowing hair.

The only thing Ali didn’t have in her life was romantic love. It wasn’t that she was avoiding it, but she wasn’t exactly actively seeking it out, either. It just hadn’t happened yet. She had dated a few guys in high school, and then when she had made that self-discovery in college, she had dated some women as well. Since entering the working world nine years ago, she had been on a handful of dates, and even some second and third dates. She even had something a few years ago that could have been called an actual relationship, but nothing serious had ever materialized. Her career was demanding, but there was still time and room in her life for someone special. She had just been so focused on advancing that she just hadn’t had the time to find the right person yet, or at least that’s what she told herself. Having someone in her life like that wasn’t on the top of her priority list, she thought, but it would be nice. She had everything else. Perhaps having someone would make her life complete. And, it wasn't like she felt incomplete, but at times she felt like there might be something missing.

Ali stepped off the plane and onto the tarmac. Warm tropical air blew across her face, and she looked up into the sky and exhaled a deep breath. This was going to be a great three weeks, she thought. The conference meetings and panels took place during the day, but her schedule wasn’t so packed that she couldn’t enjoy some free time. Her nights were largely free, and she was looking forward to also enjoying some daytime activities as well. She was looking forward to doing some jogging and hiking. She was even looking forward to getting in the water and doing some swimming. She liked swimming, even though she wasn’t a strong swimmer, but she worked out daily doing other activities at the health club near her apartment building. Maybe I’ll even try surfing, she thought, since she figured that was something that one tried when visiting Hawaii. She headed to baggage claim, found her large suitcase, and headed towards the pick-up curb. She was almost outside, when she spotted a man who looked like a driver holding up a sign that had her last name and her company’s name on it. She turned towards the man and headed in his direction. 

“Hi, I’m Ali Krieger”, she said, introducing herself.

“Aloha, Miss Krieger. Welcome to Hawaii. Let me get that.” The driver spoke English with a Hawaiian pidgin accent and took Ali’s suitcase. “Please, follow me”. He led Ali outside and to a waiting Lincoln Town Car. Her company had arranged the ride for her. The driver opened the rear door for Ali to get in, and then put her suitcase in the trunk. He jumped in the driver’s seat and headed for Ali’s hotel. Ali stared out the window at the lush tropical scenery.

“First time in Hawaii, Ms. Krieger?” the driver asked as he drove towards the Sheraton on the beach in Waikiki.

“Yes, it is.”

“Well, I hope you enjoy your time here.” The driver paused for a moment and then said, “There’s magic on these islands.”

Ali chuckled slightly. “I’m sure there is”, she said. Probably a standard line that the locals use on all tourists. The line, the pidgin accent, the warm air - all part of the charm of the visitor’s experience to a tropical island thousands of miles from home. There was something special about this place, though, she thought. She could feel it as she stepped off the plane. Maybe it really was the island itself. Or maybe it was just the tourist’s notion that he or she was on an island far away from everyday life. Well, whatever it was, she was going to enjoy her time here, before she headed back to the Windy City.

The car reached the hotel, and the driver helped Ali with her bags. She thanked him and tipped him generously, then walked to the front desk and checked in. She took the elevator up and found her room on the ocean side of the hotel. She opened the front door, set down her bags, and took in her quarters for the next three weeks. The living area was straight in front of her, complete with couch, TV, coffee table, and a small dining table with two chairs. Beyond the living area was a balcony with two reclining chairs. To the left was the bathroom and the bedroom. A small kitchenette was to the right. It was a plush junior suite - a nice fit for a junior executive, like herself, and she mentally gave thanks to her company, who had apparently spared no expense.

Ali walked to the balcony doors, opened them and walked out. Her eyes took in the view and she smiled. In front of her was Waikiki Beach. Beyond it the Pacific Ocean sparkled in the late afternoon sun. To the right the beach curled off into the distance, and to the left she could see the majestic crater of Diamond Head volcano rising up into the clear sky. Ali closed her eyes, inhaled the ocean breeze and stood there for a minute, taking in the feeling of the reality setting in that she was actually in Hawaii. She opened her eyes, and as she did she saw a couple walking on the beach, hand in hand, smiling and laughing. She kept her eyes on them, and her thoughts drifted again to how nice it would be to actually have someone that way in her life. She thought about what it would be like to have brought that special someone here with her, to share this wonderful moment that she was feeling. She thought about how that special someone would be standing next to her, shoulder to shoulder, staring out at the water with her, thinking about how wonderful it was to be here, and then that special someone would turn to Ali, say how nice it was to be here, and then smile, lean in and kiss her on the lips.

Ali stared out onto the beach and continued that train of thought for a moment longer, and then that thought was interrupted by her stomach growling. She realized that she hadn’t eaten since she had left Chicago. She had taken a couple of sleeping pills at the beginning of the flight, so she had slept most of the nine hour plane ride over. She was thinking about going straight to a restaurant, but after sitting on a plane for so long, her body was crying out for exercise. She had left her apartment early in the morning and hadn’t worked out since yesterday morning, which for her was a long time between workouts. She really wasn’t as inspired to work out as she usually was, probably due to the long flight and jet lag, but she thought that running along the beach instead of on a treadmill would be a motivator. Plus, she knew that once she got moving she would be okay. She looked at her phone. Almost 5pm local time. The sun would be going down soon, so if she was going to run she needed to get moving. She unpacked her bags, sorted herself for three weeks of living in the suite, and then changed out of the jeans, long sleeve shirt and boots that she had been wearing on the plane into her running shorts, tank top and running shoes. She grabbed her room key and phone, threw on her headphones, and walked out the door of her room. She took the stairs down three flights to the lobby and exited out the back towards the beach. She found a trail right along the sand and took off.

After an hour of running along beach trails, Ali slowed to a walk. She had ended up at Magic Island, just west of Waikiki. She took off her headphones, walked to the edge of the water and stared out into the sea. The run and scenery had rejuvenated her, and she felt like a new person, even after a full day of travel. Maybe this place is magic, she thought, and she smiled at the words of the car driver.

The sun was setting, and she put her hand to her forehead to shield her eyes from the reddish-orange glare. It was then that she saw it. A lone figure, surfing in the distance. Ali watched as the figure glided across the wave, sometimes going up, sometimes going down, but always moving in the direction that the white foam of the wave was going, staying just slightly ahead of it. The white foam dissipated, and the surfer laid down onto the board and started paddling towards the shore. Ali stood there transfixed and watched the figure on the board in the water. As the figure came closer, Ali could see that is was a woman. She had long blonde hair and tattoos covering her left arm. She was wearing a pink bikini bottom and what looked to be some kind of waterproof top, and Ali took note of the surfer’s athletic form.

Most of all, though, Ali noticed the surfer’s face. She had chiseled features and sun-kissed skin, which gave her a kind of striking beauty. As Ali studied her face, she could sense a kind of positive energy radiating from her, like a serenity, as if the surfer was completely at peace in this moment. Ali smiled at that thought, and she remembered back to a time in her own life where she used to think more like that. Life hadn’t always been about getting ahead. She remembered a time when she wasn’t concerned with that as much as just having fun and enjoying the moment. Oh well, Ali thought. I'm an adult, and I guess that caring about getting ahead is just what grownup life is like. Well, maybe they don’t do that here, she thought, but then again, they haven't had my life. Plus, this is a tropical island in the middle of nowhere. Life’s probably just different here, she thought.

As Ali continued to stare and think, the surfer approached closer on her way back to shore. She looked up and turned her head in Ali’s direction. Ali snapped out of her thoughts and focused back on the surfer’s face, her sun-kissed hair and striking features. The surfer appeared to be about her age. She’s beautiful, Ali thought. The surfer stared at Ali for a moment and then her lips parted slightly into a faint smile. Ali paused for a second, transfixed by the surfer’s beauty, and then smiled back. The surfer continued to smile at Ali for another few seconds, and then she turned away, looked ahead, and continued to paddle towards the shore. Ali continued to stare at her as she passed. As the surfer neared the shore, Ali thought about running to the beach and introducing herself to the surfer as she came out of the water, but instead she stood still and continued to stare, transfixed. The surfer reached the shore, rose out of the water, walked up the beach and turned on an outdoor shower that was next to the parking lot. Ali continued to stare as the surfer stood facing away from the shower head, back arched out, head tilted back, and washed the salt water from her hair, gently shaking her head back and forth and massaging her blonde locks. The surfer shut off the water, grabbed her board, and headed for her car. She secured her board onto the rack on top of the car, and as she got in and turned on the engine, she looked up one last time and her eyes met Ali’s. She was pretty far away, but Ali though she saw a slight smile coming again from the surfer’s face. Ali smiled back again, and then the surfer put the car into drive and drove away. Ali stood there for a few more minutes, lost in thought of the surfer’s beauty and smile. Then she realized that the sun was now almost down and that she was indeed very hungry. She put on her headphones and started jogging back to the hotel.


	2. Chapter 2

It was dark when Ali got back to her hotel room. She stripped off her running clothes and jumped in the shower. As she lathered up her hair and body, she couldn’t stop thinking about the surfing goddess she had just seen an hour before. Ali replayed the girl gliding across the water in the distance and then smiling as she passed by on her way back to shore. As she tilted her head back and rinsed the conditioner from her hair, Ali pictured how the surfer girl had looked while she had showered on the beach, arching her back and gently shaking her head as she washed the salt water from her hair. What was it about this girl that has me thinking like this? Ali thought. Sure, she's beautiful, but still - I saw her once from afar for all of like two minutes, and I haven’t been able to get her out of my mind since. Oh well, Ali thought – must be that damn magic on this island. A silly island fantasy, thousands of miles from home. She laughed to herself as she stepped out of the shower and dried herself off. She was about to get dressed for dinner when she realized she didn’t even know where she was going. Ali was a foodie, and she enjoyed eating at fine restaurants wherever she was. Fine dining had been part of her plan for this trip, especially since the company was paying for all of her meals, but a thought crossed her mind, and she picked up the hotel phone.

“Aloha, good evening, how may I help you?” The concierge’s cheerful voice came through the receiver.

“Hi, I’m looking for a restaurant recommendation for dinner tonight”, Ali stated to the concierge.

“Sure, for how many?”

“Um, well, just me”, Ali said. Hopefully I will have another join me, she thought.

“Okay, what type of food are you interested in?”

“Local food. Like, I’m looking for a place where a local who lives here would actually go to eat, or maybe to get a drink. Not a touristy place.”

“Okay, there’s Tiki Bar, which serves mostly just drinks and pupus appetizers, or there’s Sidestreet, which has a full menu of local-style food, as well as a bar.”

Ali took down the addresses for both places, put them in her phone and thanked the concierge. Both places sounded casual, and from what little she knew of Hawaiian culture, the people here were more casual in general than they were in Chicago, so she skipped over the fancier outfits she had brought, but she still wanted to look presentable. She settled on a white sleeveless top, a peach colored skirt and tan sandals. She did her makeup as to look put-together but not too fancy. She styled her hair so it was half-up and half-down, checked herself one last time in the full-length mirror, grabbed her purse, and headed out the door.

Outside the weather had cooled off a bit but was still warm. 72 degrees at 8pm in April. You couldn’t beat that, especially coming from Chicago. Ali took out her phone and looked at the two places. She was leaning towards a proper meal, so she entered the address for Sidestreet into her phone’s GPS. It was just a few blocks from the hotel. As she started following the marker, Ali thought, What am I doing? This girl’s not going to be there. Yes, you are on an island, but Honolulu is still a major city. There’s still half a million people living here. This girl may not even live around here. She’s clearly local, and you’re in tourist central. Get real, Ali, she told herself. The chances of you running into her are less than winning the lottery. Oh well. At least you can hope to enjoy some good local food and maybe a drink before you go to sleep tonight.

Ali found Sidestreet and stopped just outside. The entrance was just a regular unmarked door on what was almost the alley side of a somewhat run-down building. There was a small sign above the door that read Sidestreet, but other than that, no markings to indicate the presence of a restaurant. Well, Ali thought, this place seems like it really is for locals only. Definitely not catering to tourists. She paused for a moment and thought about the rumors she had heard of staunch locals roughing up tourists and kicking them out of places that were supposed to be for locals only. She thought about the scene in Blue Crush where the local surfers beat up the star football player because he was surfing in a locals-only surfing spot. She stood there for another minute and then straightened her shoulders and decided to go in. You know what? She thought. I have the right to be in here as much as anyone, and as long as I’m respectful no one should mess with me, right?

Ali entered the restaurant and took in her surroundings. It was small and crowded. The dining area was to the left. The bar was to the right. Ali looked around at the clientele. Very casual and lots of sun-kissed skin. The pidgin accent was abundant. Definitely heavy on locals. She continued to scan the room as she waited for a hostess, when the bartender called out to her.

“Aloha, _wahine_ girl, food or drinks?”

“Uh, both please”, Ali answered.

“Okay, have a seat over here”, he said and motioned to a small table near the bar. Ali walked over to the table and felt eyes on her as she sat down. Not menacing stares, but the eyes of people who knew she wasn’t local. Ali thought about leaving but shrugged it off. As long as she didn’t come across like a snobby tourist, she had nothing to fear. Also, as a serious foodie, Ali knew that sometimes, as much as she liked her higher-end restaurants, the best food could often be found at down-home local eateries.

Ali sat down, and the bartender brought her a menu. She asked for a glass of white wine, and the bartender left to get her drink. Ali began looking at the menu:

Ahi Poke  
Lomi Lomi Salmon  
Kamanu with Taro Cakes  
Nanakuli Chicken  
Kahlua Pork with Mac Salad  
…

Ali didn’t know what any of this was. Well, she had heard of some of the items, but she had never actually had any of them. She finished looking at the short menu, and when she got to the end, she still didn’t know what any of the items were. As a somewhat accomplished foodie, that was a rare experience in her life, going to a restaurant and not having eaten a single item on the menu. Only here would that happen, she thought, on an island thousands of miles away. She laughed to herself and then realized the bartender hadn’t returned with her glass of wine. She was about look up and call for him when she heard a voice.

“Don’t order anything off the menu.”

Ali looked up, and there was the surfer girl. She looked to be a few inches taller than Ali, and she was wearing a form-fitting white sleeveless tank top and pair of blue and black short surfer shorts. Up close Ali could clearly make out the girl’s defined muscles and intricate tattooing on her left arm. Ali opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

“Ask John John, the bartender, what the fish of the day is”, the surfer girl continued. Her voice was low and smooth, and her pidgin accent gave it a bit of a sing-song cadence.

“Uh…I-I-I don’t see that on here”, Ali stammered.

“I know”, the surfer girl replied. “Like I said, it’s not on the menu. But John John’s brother is a fisherman. Everyday he goes fishing, and he brings whatever he catches here in the evening. So, you should ask for whatever the fish of the day is and have that, so then you will have the freshest thing they serve here.” She smiled at Ali, and Ali’s breath caught.

“Oh, okay. Well, thank you”, Ali said and smiled back. The two women continued to smile at each other for a moment.

“Hey, Lolo, let’s go! I’m hungry!” A woman’s commanding voice interrupted the moment. Ali looked up to see two women standing about ten feet away, looking at the surfer girl and beckoning her to join them. One had golden blonde hair and a nice smile. The other, the one who had spoken, was taller with a muscular physique. She had darker hair, a hard jawline and intense eyes. She looked like someone you didn’t want to mess with.

“Well, I gotta go. My friends are hungry”, the surfer girl said.

“Uh, yeah, I guess you should. It looks like you don’t want to keep that one waiting”, Ali said, referring to the one who spoke.

The surfer girl laughed lightly, and then reached out and grazed the skin of Ali’s arm with her fingertips. “Enjoy your meal”, she said, and Ali felt a jolt of electricity surge through her. The girl then smiled and turned around to walk away.

“Wait!” Ali managed to get out. She reached out and touched the surfer girl’s arm. The surfer girl turned around and stared at her. “Thank you”, Ali said and smiled back. The surfer girl smiled again and then turned around to walk away.

“Wait!” Ali said again. The surfer girl turned around again. “Um…when can I…how can I see…um, can I see you again?” Jesus, Ali thought to herself. You give presentations to executives for a living, and your stammering like an idiot in front of this local girl. Get it together.

The surfer girl looked at Ali for a second and then said, “You’ve found me twice. You’ll find me again.” She gave Ali one last touch and smile and then turned around and walked away to join her friends. Ali’s eyes followed her as she and her friends took a seat on the other side of the small restaurant. The girl was sitting facing sideways to Ali, and for the rest of her meal, Ali looked over periodically. She could see the girl talking and laughing with her friends. She was hoping to catch the girl looking back over. The girl never did.

 

********

 

Later that night, Ali laid in bed, trying to fall asleep. She usually didn’t have trouble falling asleep, and by this time it was almost 2am in Chicago. She should be in dreamland by now, she thought, but she couldn’t stop thinking about the surfer girl, so she just let her thoughts drift and take her where they did. The tough-looking girl had called the surfer girl Lolo. I guess that’s her name? Ali thought. She doesn’t look like a Lolo, but people don’t always look like their names. She smiled at the fact that she was musing over such a random thought, the random thoughts that you get just before you fall asleep. Her thoughts shifted, and she thought about the way the girl’s sculpted physique filled out her shirt and shorts, and the jolt of electricity she felt when the girl touched her arm. Then Ali thought about how the girl’s skin felt when she had touched it. It was just the right combination of feminine softness and sun-kissed exterior. Perfect island skin, Ali thought, and that was the last thought she had before she drifted off to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning Ali woke up before the sun rose. Hawaii was five hours behind Chicago. She looked at her clock. It was just before 5am. Today was the start of her conference. Her first panel began at 9am. Plenty of time for a morning run before she had to get ready. She got out of bed and started the coffee maker. Ali loved her morning coffee and liked to have it before she interacted with anyone. Plus, the Kona coffee that they supplied in the room was delicious. It seemed richer and fuller than the regular stuff back home in Chicago, and for some reason it just tasted more…island-y, Ali thought. Another nice reminder that she was on a tropical island far from home. She turned on her laptop and started reading through emails. Her friend and co-worker Pam Noles was covering for her while she was out. Pam was about a year younger and a level below her on the corporate ladder, although Ali wasn't her boss. Pam was smart and ambitious. The two had become friends a few years ago when Pam had transferred from another agency, and they had been working closely together ever since. Ali liked Pam enough as a person, although she thought she could be a little too competitive at times. She did like working with her, though. Perhaps her competitiveness is what made her good at her job. Ali finished reading through her emails. No emergencies, so that was good. She scanned the news and Facebook and then finished her cup of coffee. Then she put on her running gear and headed out.

Ali ran east along the beach trail and started up the road that circles Diamond Head crater. It was a 5 mile run that included two stretches of uphill and two stretches of downhill. She got to the top of the first uphill stretch and looked out over the ocean. The morning light was starting to creep in, transforming the water from black to an indigo blue. She could see a few surfers in the water, She thought about Lolo and wondered what she was doing right now. Ali stared at the water a bit more and then thought, yes – I am definitely going to try surfing while I am here. I may even go swimming this afternoon when I get out of the conference. She took a deep breath and then headed on the next leg of her run.

Ali arrived back at the hotel, took a shower and then put on a white blouse, black skirt, matching black jacket and heels. She put on her makeup and wore her hair down. She wanted to dress business for the first day of the conference. She exited her room and headed to the restaurant in the hotel lobby for breakfast. She looked at the menu and was mulling over the choices, when a thought crossed her mind. What would Lolo order? Ali asked the waiter for a local’s recommendation, and he pointed to Spam Musubi as a traditional local dish. Pan-fried Spam set atop steamed rice molded into balls, then wrapped in nori dried seaweed. Kind of like Spam sushi. Ali liked sushi, but she was dubious about this, since she thought of Spam as somewhat unpalatable. Then she thought about Lolo and decided to give it a try. Ali looked at her phone and checked her schedule for the day while she waited for her breakfast. She was excited for the conference. The speakers were on the cutting edge of digital marketing, and her bringing home and sharing the knowledge that she would learn here would help her movement up the ladder towards a position on the executive staff.

The waiter brought her meal. 2 pieces of Spam Musubi. Ali picked up one of the pieces and held it in her hand, examining it the way a gem collector might eyeball a diamond. She picked up her coffee in her other hand as a chaser, just in case she needed it. She took a breath, exhaled and then bit in. She paused for a second after she bit, waiting for the taste to fill her mouth, her coffee chaser at the ready. The combined taste of the pan-fried salted meat, dried seaweed and rice filled her mouth. She sat for another moment and then continued chewing. Well, I’ll be damned, Ali thought. It wasn’t bad. I guess it’s like the Hawaiian version of eating hot dogs at Wrigley Field back home. She took another bite and thought about what it would be like if Lolo were sitting across the table from her right now. She pictured the surfer girl beaming at her, proud of her haole foreigner girlfriend braving the local cuisine. ‘Girlfriend?’ Ali thought. Where did that come from? She mused for a second about how quickly Lolo had infiltrated her thoughts. Then she finished her meal and headed out to the conference.

 

********

 

Ali looked at her watch as she headed back to her hotel. It was just after 3pm. The first day of the conference had gone well. The panels today had been interesting, especially the panel on the convergence of digital media and its affect on the role of TV in the marketing field. Ali loved marketing. And digital things. She had grown up at a time when digital had really started to come into everyday life. She had been ten when the internet had come into household conscience. She had been twenty when Facebook started to become mainstream. A few years later smart phones started to become common devices, and then tablet a few years after that. Ali was just at that right age, young enough to embrace technology and keep up with its rapidly changing advances, but old enough to understand it and be able to forward think with it. She loved her laptop. She loved her smartphone. She loved her iPad. She loved technology and how it enhanced her life. She had found her job online. She did a lot of her work online. She kept up with friends online. She had even set up some dates online. Technology was a wonderful thing, and she was excited to be someone who had her finger on the pulse.

Ali got back to her hotel room and stepped out onto the balcony. She took in the view and then thought about Lolo and wondered what she was doing right now. Her thoughts turned to the water in front of her. It was time for a swim, she thought. She went back inside and changed into her bathing suit, a powder blue two-piece. She grabbed a towel and her room key and headed down to the beach. She spread out her towel in the sand and then stood and stretched. She looked out at the water. The waves looked gentle and calm. She headed towards the water, and as she neared the surf line she looked back at her towel. Should be safe enough, she thought. Lots of tourists here. Should be a low chance of being robbed. Plus, she didn’t have anything valuable with her. She reached the water and stuck her feet in. It was 74 degrees – perfect for swimming under the hot afternoon island sun. She went in up to her knees, then to her waist, then to her chest, and finally up to her neck. She took a deep breath and pushed off the bottom. She swam for maybe 20 seconds and then stopped. Her feet touched the bottom and she looked around her. Behind her was the Waikiki skyline. In front of her was the endless blue of the Pacific Ocean. Ali lost herself in the beauty of the scenery, and then she thought again about Lolo. She pushed off the bottom again and continued to swim out towards the horizon. As she swam, she thought about how nice it would be to have her surfer girlfriend swimming beside her, the two of them, together, holding hands as they swam beside each other in the warm, crystal clear water. Girlfriend? Ali mused again. Twice today I’ve thought that. What’s up with that? Ali mused. She continued swimming, losing herself in her thoughts and the rhythm or her strokes.

Fatigue brought Ali out of her thoughts. She stopped swimming and went to touch her feet to the ground, but instead of feeling bottom she sank. She propelled herself to the surface and looked around. She spotted the shore, which had somehow in a matter of what seemed like seconds gone from right behind her to very far away. She started to panic. She took a deep breath and started to swim towards shore, but for some reason she felt like she wasn’t going anywhere. She stopped and looked up. She was still in the same place she was before she started swimming back towards shore. She took another deep breath and continued to swim hard. She looked up. No forward progress. She noticed that the waves had gotten bigger and were churning around her head. She started to feel her breath go shallow, and the feeling of panic increased. She’s got to be able to make it back, she thought. She knew she wasn’t a strong swimmer, but she did know how to swim, she was in good shape, and from what she had read, Waikiki Beach was a safe place for anyone to swim. She took a deep breath, put her head down, and swam hard some more. She looked up. No forward progress. In fact, it looked like she may be even further away from shore now. Her breath quickened to the point of hyperventilation. She tried to slow it down, but as she took a deep breath, she swallowed some water. She coughed and spit it up, but when tried to recover, she swallowed more water. She coughed again, and the feeling of panic started to overwhelm her. The salt water she had swallowed burned her insides, and her chest felt like it was about to explode. This can’t be happening, she thought. She started to see blackness creep in on her peripheral vision. She looked towards the shore and tried to yell. She raised her hand, and then she stared to sink. She thought she may have seen a flash of red, and then blackness overtook her world.

 

********

 

Ali coughed and her eyes fluttered. She was greeted by blinding sun, murmuring voices and something on her forehead. She closed her eyes and coughed again. Her chest burned inside, and her throat stung. She slowly opened her eyes. She was laying flat on her back on the sand. Looking into her eyes was Lolo. She was wearing a red lifeguard uniform and had her hand on Ali’s forehead. A crowd was standing around her. Ali tried to lift her head and speak but Lolo gently silenced her by putting her finger to Ali’s lips.

“Shhhh”, Lolo said as she continued to hold her hand to Ali’s forehead. “Just relax for a minute. Don’t try to talk.” Her voice calmed Ali down, and she relaxed and laid her head back down. “That was close. You got pretty far out pretty quickly. Luckily, I saw you as you took off towards the horizon. I saw you swimming into the rip, and I dove in after you before you could get too far.”

“W-w-what’s a rip?” Ali asked. Her voice sounded hoarse and gravely. Boy, that’s sexy, Ali thought. Way to make a good impression on this beautiful local girl. You almost drown like a dumb tourist, and now you sound like shit, too. Way to go, Ali, way to go.

“A rip is another word for current”, Lolo explained. “The currents here in Hawaii are very strong, and they're hard to detect unless you know what to look for. Once you’re caught in a rip, it’s hard to get out of it, and it’s impossible to swim against it. That’s what happened to you. You got caught in one, and you spent all your energy trying to swim against it, and you got nowhere.” She smiled. “Plus, I’m sure you noticed that the waves started to look bigger out there?” Ali nodded a bit. “Yeah, they always look bigger when you're in them than they do when you're onshore.” She smiled again, as if letting Ali in on a coveted insider’s secret.

Ali cleared her throat and tried to speak. “Well, I don’t know what to say, but I’m sorry and thank you.” She sat up on her elbows and looked at Lolo. “I’m glad you were there.”

“I’m glad I was, too. I actually didn’t know it was you until I got near you out there.” Lolo smiled. She paused for a moment and then said, “And in case you’re worried about looking like a dumb tourist – don’t be.” Ali looked shocked. Was Lolo able to read minds? Lolo sensed her thoughts and laughed slightly. “We pull dozens of people out of the water every day.” She smiled. “That’s why we’re here.”

Ali sat up fully and took a couple deep breaths. She seemed to have returned to normal.

“How are you feeling now?” Lolo asked.

“I think I’m okay”, Ali said, and it was at that point that Ali noticed that Lolo’s hand was still on her forehead. “By the way”, Ali asked, “Is your hand on my forehead helping me to recover?”

Lolo laughed softly. “No. Well, at first I wanted to check to make sure you weren’t going cold, but no, it’s not doing anything anymore.” She smiled slightly and removed her hand. “I just wanted an excuse to keep touching you.” Lolo continued to smile and stood up. “Just rest here for a bit, drink some water, and maybe stay out of the ocean for the rest of the day.”

Ali smiled at her. Lolo turned to go, and Ali said, “Hey.” Lolo turned back around. “I’m glad you were here for me today. And not just ‘you’ as in lifeguards in general, but ‘you’ as in ‘you’”, she said, and pointed weakly at Lolo and smiled.

Lolo smiled back. “I’m glad I was here too.”

Ali smiled at that, then looked down for a second. She looked back up and said, “Hey, um…can I take you out to dinner tonight?”

Lolo just stared at her. Oh God, Ali thought. What did I do? Did I totally overstep my boundaries? Did I totally misread her interest in me? Did I just hit her out of left field?

As Ali was firing off questions in her own head, Lolo smiled and said. “Yeah. I’d like that”.

Ali was still so busy firing off questions internally that she almost didn’t hear Lolo’s response. In what seemed to take a huge mental effort, she quickly put on the breaks in her head and smiled. “Great! What time are you available?”

“I get off work at sundown, so maybe 6:45 or 7?”

“Okay, great!” Ali said. Now, a bit of a sticky question. “So, um, do you want to meet at my room? I mean, I’m staying at this hotel”, Ali motioned behind her, “or do you want to meet in the lobby, or do I need to pick you up? I mean, where do you live? Well, I don’t really have a car, but I could get a car for the night, or get a taxi…” Ali trailed off, rambling nervously.

Lolo laughed. “Slow down, slow down. Why don’t we just meet in the lobby of your hotel? Let’s say 7?”

Ali took a deep breath. “Okay, okay. 7 is good. Oh, where do you want to go?”

“I don’t care. You pick it. You’re the guest in town.” Again, that smile.

“Are you sure?” Ali asked. “I mean, I don’t want to pick a place that’s too tourist, or too fancy, or not your thing, or…” Ali trailed off again.

“Dinner is with you, right?” Lolo asked.

Ali raised her eyebrows. “Well, uh, yeah, I mean-“

She was about to say “of course it is”, but Lolo cut her off. “Then I don’t care where we go, as long as it’s with you”, she said and smiled. Ali smiled back. “Okay, I have to get back to the lifeguard tower now", Lolo said. "Rest up, and I’ll see you in the lobby of your hotel at 7.”

“Okay, great”, Ali said. Lolo smiled and then turned to walk away. Ali stared at her as she walked away, admiring the way Lolo looked in her lifeguard uniform, and then realized that she hadn’t even introduced herself. “Wait!” Ali said before Lolo could get to far. “I’m Ali, by the way. It’s Lolo, right?”  
Lolo looked confused. “Lolo?” she asked Ali. 

“Yeah, Lolo. Isn’t that your name? I mean, that’s what your friend at the restaurant called you last night.”

Lolo stared at Ali for a second and then broke into laughter and walked back to Ali. “Oh, yeah, that. Right. She’s just making fun of me.” Ali looked confused. “Lolo’ is a Hawaiian term. It means dumb. See, I have this old low-rider, a ’73 Impala. My friend thinks it’s dumb for me to drive a low-rider here, since it’s impractical for the islands, with the dirt roads and sand and all, but it was my dad’s, and I just can’t bear to part with it. So, she nicknamed me Lolo – for being a dumbass for owning a low-rider here in Hawaii.” She laughed again and smiled. “My name is Ashlyn. Ashlyn Harris.” She stuck her hand out for Ali to shake.

Ali took her hand. Again, that skin, a perfect combination of feminine smoothness and sun kissed island exterior. “Nice to meet you, Ashlyn. My last name is Ali. Ali Krieger.”

“Nice to meet you, Ali Krieger. Okay, now I really have to get back. See you in your hotel lobby at 7.” Ashlyn smiled one last time and then turned and started to walk away. Ali waved to her back and followed her with her eyes as she walked back towards the lifeguard tower.


	4. Chapter 4

Ali headed back to her hotel room. She stripped out of her bathing suit and entered the bathroom. She started the whirlpool tub and sat on the edge while it filled. Quite a day it had been so far, she thought, and it was far from over. At least she hoped it was far from over. When the tub was ready, she climbed in and leaned her head back. Well, she thought - she hadn’t had many days like this in her life. Morning run around a volcano, conference with the brightest digital marketing minds in the world, and then almost drowning at the beach outside of her hotel, only to be rescued by her exotic surfer girl. And now, she’s got a date with her rescuer in a few hours. Quite a day indeed.

Ali took her time in the whirlpool bath, letting the water from the jets wipe away the day’s strain. She wanted to make sure she was a hundred percent ready to go for the evening, with no lingering side effects from her near-death experience this afternoon. She sat in the tub for almost an hour, and then she got out and toweled herself dry. Now comes the hard part – selecting an outfit for tonight’s date. She wanted Ashlyn to know that she had put time and care into her appearance, but she didn’t want to appear so dressy as to make her uncomfortable. Again, these islanders aren’t as formal as we Chicagoans, Ali thought again. After trying on three different outfits, she settled on a nice beige dress with a somewhat modest neckline, a wide brown leather belt, and matching slingback heels. She applied her makeup and put on earrings and a necklace. She checked herself in the mirror. Her appearance could have come out of a clothing catalog: the perfect outfit for a first date in an informal setting...like an island vacation. Ashlyn smiled and looked at her phone. It was ten to seven. She picked up the hotel phone and made a quick call to the concierge. Then she grabbed her purse, checked herself one last time in the mirror, took a deep breath, and headed downstairs to the lobby.

Ali arrived in the lobby and looked around. She didn’t see Ashlyn, so she stood close to the concierge desk. It dawned on her that she hadn’t really specified where in the lobby to meet, so she picked a spot where she could easily be seen, but that also gave her a good vantage point to view the rest of the lobby. Minutes passed and she looked at her phone. 7:15. She wasn’t getting nervous about Ashlyn showing up, but an involuntary nervousness had started to kick in. Ali was punctual. She was known for always being on time, and in fact she usually liked to arrive early if she could. Her best friend Megan always joked that Ali was the worst person to try to plan a surprise party for. Megan had tried once, and Ali had showed up earlier than half of the guests. 

Ali looked at her watch again. 7:22. She was starting to get a bit annoyed. She knew she didn’t really have anywhere pressing to be, but she felt that being on time showed respect for other people, and to be late showed the opposite. She thought about calling Ashlyn and started to scroll through her contacts, but then realized that she didn’t even have her number.

“Hey.” Ali looked up and saw Ashlyn standing right in front of her, and her breath caught. Ashlyn was wearing a tight grey button down shirt, a black vest, a purple tie, black dress pants and black dress boots. Her hair was down and she had a purple and white hibiscus flower tucked in her hair behind her left ear. “Sorry I’m late”, she said. “I hope you weren’t waiting long.”

Ali stood stunned in a “hubba hubba” moment and then recovered and spoke. “Uh, no…no, not at all. I just came down.”

Ashlyn smiled a bit. “You’re lying”, she said, and her smile grew wider, and for the first time, Ali noticed Ashlyn’s dimples. “You’ve been waiting for a while, haven’t you?”

Ali nodded and smiled. “I’ve been waiting for about half an hour”, she admitted.

“I’m so sorry again”, Ashlyn said, as she reached out and lightly ran her finger down Ali’s arm. Ali felt that jolt of electricity again, like the one she had felt when Ashlyn had touched her arm last night, and Ashlyn kept on. “I had to go home and change, and…well, you know… Uh, we run on island time here.” She smiled.

“Island time?” Ali asked and raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, island time. It’s like, things kinda happen when they happen…kinda…” Ashlyn said, trailing off, as if she had explained as best she could her excuse for being late.

Ali just stared at her for a moment, and then smiled. This wasn’t the way she would do things back home, but then she realized that she wasn’t back home. She was in Ashlyn’s home, and when in Rome, you do what the Romans do. Plus, those dimples…adorable. How could I not forgive those? “Look, it’s no big deal. I mean, it's not like we have to be anywhere at a specific time tonight.”

“Now you’re starting to sound like an islander”, Ashlyn said and smiled at her.

“Well, it’s not how I usually operate, but in your case, I’ll make an exception”, Ali said. Ashlyn smiled again, and Ali reached out to touch the flower in Ashlyn’s hair. “Plus, you look…” Ali trailed off.

“I clean up okay, huh?” Ashlyn said and laughed softly. Ali nodded. She wanted to speak but she couldn’t think of the right words, so she went with not saying anything, and instead she fingered the flower in Ashlyn’s ear. Ashlyn looked up with her eyes towards the flower and said, “It’s a hibiscus. They’re native to Hawaii. You like?”

“It’s...beautiful”, Ali said. “And, it looks beautiful on you.”

“Thank you”, Ashlyn said. She looked down, almost shyly, and then looked back up, straight into Ali’s eyes. She has the most amazing eyes, Ashlyn thought. I could fall right into them and be lost forever. She continued to look into Ali’s eyes for another few seconds, and then shook herself back to the moment. “So, um, where did you decide we are going?”

“Oh, um, well, I thought we could decide together. I called down here, and asked for three recommendations, and they gave me three choices”. Ali rattled off the three choices and Ashlyn said she hadn’t been to any of them. “Okay, how about Roy’s? It’s like Hawaiian fusion cuisine”, Ali said. She looked at Ashlyn and saw the blank look on her face. “Or, something like that.” Ashlyn just looked back. “Uh, is that okay with you?" Ali asked.

Ashlyn just stared at Ali for a moment longer and then laughed. “Yeah, it sounds great.”

“Are you sure?” Ali asked. “Because, you were just staring at me like I had two heads”.

Ashlyn laughed again. “No, I was staring at you because I was enjoying watching you formulate how to tell me what kind of food this place serves.” She smiled and lightly touched Ali’s arm to show her she was just teasing. “Of course, I’ve heard of Roy’s, even though I’ve never been there. It's a famous place here. And”, Ashlyn said, as she took a step closer to Ali, “even if I didn’t want to go there, I would have gone anyway, if that’s where you wanted to go.” She looked into Ali’s eyes again. “I told you, as long as dinner’s with you, I don’t care where we go.”

Ali looked into Ashlyn’s eyes. She’s beautiful, Ali thought. “Alright then, Roy’s it is”, Ali said. “Shall we?” She held out her arm for Ashlyn to loop hers through, and the two ladies walked out of the hotel lobby.

 

********

 

“So, how was your meal at Sidestreet last night?” Ashlyn asked, as they sipped their drinks. They were at a table for two towards the back of the restaurant with a view of the ocean. Soft candlelight played off the white tablecloth.

“It was great. I mean, the fish was amazing. I think John John said it was mahi mahi.”

“Sounds about right. Mahi mahi are most abundant in the spring and the fall. We catch a lot of them right now.”

“Do you actually catch fish? Like, are you a fisherm-…fisherwoman?”

Ashlyn laughed. “Yeah, I go fishing relatively often.”

“That’s so cool! Well, mahi mahi are delicious. I hope to have more of it while I’m here”, Ali said, smiling, then changed subjects. “So, who were your friends last night?”

“Oh, the blonde one is Whitney”, Ashlyn said. “We’ve been friends since I got here. She was one of the first people I met. She’s the one who got me into fishing and surfing. She’s works as a gym teacher and coaches soccer at a local high school.”

Ali’s eyes lit up. “I love soccer. I used to play in high school.”

“Oh, cool! I used to play when I was younger, until I was like 14 or so”, Ashlyn said. 

“Really? What position?”

“Goalkeeper mostly. You?”

“I started in midfield and then switched to defense.”

“Awesome! Hey - we could have been teammates. I could have been yelling at you from behind”, Ashlyn said with a laugh, and Ali smiled. “Did you play in college too?”

“No. I wanted to, but…” Ali trailed off, and Ashlyn sensed something had just turned serious. “I needed to focus on school and getting a career. You?”

“No. I never went to college.” Ashlyn gave Ali a wistful smile and a slight shrug of her shoulders. Ali thought about asking why Ashlyn had stopped playing before high school, or why she didn’t go to college, but she thought those could potentially be sensitive subjects, so she decided not to pursue it and picked up where she left off.

“And…who’s your other friend? The one who looks like…” Ali trailed off and flexed her muscles to indicate she was talking about the one who had called Ashlyn “lolo”.

Ashlyn laughed. “ That’s Hop’ele’ahana. We call her Hope for short. I met her when I started surfing with Whitney. Hope's a local surfing badass. She surfs the biggest waves we get here. I’ve never seen anyone charge like her. She’s just…fearless. She runs with a posse of surfers called KP – Kama’aina Patrol. Kama’aina means ‘from the island’ - locals. The KP patrol the waters when the surf gets big, to make sure that everyone surfing out there understands the lineup rules and follows them.”

“I have no idea what you just said”, Ali said and smiled.

Ashlyn smiled back. “Okay, so when the surf gets big here, the waves can get huge. I mean, really huge, like 30 or 40 feet tall. That’s like a three or four story building of water coming at you, ready to drop on top of you. Now, when the surf gets big, everyone wants to surf it. So, you’ve got big waves and lots of surfers waiting to catch them. That’s called the lineup, the surfers waiting to catch the waves, because they line up in the water waiting for the waves to come in. Now, think of it like this: what if you were trying to surf a big wave like that, and all of a sudden someone else charges in front of you…I mean, cuts you off. So, you get cut off, maybe get hit in the head with a surfboard, you fall off your own board, and you fall three stories down. Maybe your own board falls on top of you. Then, that three stories of water that you just fell down off of comes crashing down on top of you. Think of how that would feel.”

“Yikes”, Ali said. She thought about how she almost drowned earlier today, and then tried to imagine what it would feel like in that situation. She shuddered a bit at the thought. “So, what exactly does the KP do?”

“Well, they regulate the lineup. They let everyone know how things operate when you’re out there in the surf, and if someone doesn’t adhere to the rules, they let them know”, Ashlyn said with a shrug of her shoulders.

Ali thought about that for a second, and then a thought crossed her mind. “Wait…is it like in the movie Blue Crush, where the locals beat up the football player for surfing in a locals only surfing spot? Wait – have you even seen that movie? It may be kind of dumb to people who live here. Do you know what I’m talking about?”

Ashlyn laughed. “Yes, Ali, I’ve seen that movie, and I remember the scene. Hope and Whitney actually had small parts in that movie. Yes, it is kind of like that, but no, they don’t just beat people up for surfing in a locals only spot.” She smiled and then her eyes turned serious. “Look, when you’re out there in the water, there are no laws. Well, no official laws - or rules. It’s not like driving, where there are set laws and police to enforce them, or organized soccer, with rules and refs to enforce them. As surfers, we need to make our own laws, our own rules, and people need to abide by them. If not, people get hurt. I mean, you almost drowned today in 2 foot waves in a small rip current near shore. Imagine what it feels like to be surfing half a mile offshore, knocked in the head by a surfboard and then dropped into waves and current 10 times that size.”

“Wow, I never thought of it like that. That is serious”. Ali said. “Well, on the lighter side of things, I would like to try surfing while I’m here. Just maybe not where Hope is patrolling”, she said.

Ashlyn laughed. “Hope’s not gonna bust on you for learning how to surf. Just don’t try to learn in big surf, where you could get other people killed.” Ashlyn gave Ali a mock look of warning, and then turned earnest. “For reals - Hope and her crew are good peeps. They’ve had friends die out there in big waves, so they take safety in the lineup seriously.”

The two women went silent for a moment, and then the waiter came to take their order.

“You first”, Ali offered.

“No – I want you to order for me”, Ashlyn said. She looked at Ali and crinkled her eyes.

“Wait, what?” Ali had never had anyone say that to her on a first date. “How do I know I won’t get something you don’t like?”

“You don’t”, Ashlyn said matter-of-factly, “But I looked at the menu, and I eat everything on it.” She smiled.

“Well, what if I don’t order you something you really like?”

“I’m willing to take the chance.” Ashlyn leaned in. "This is a chance to see if we make another connection."

“Another connection?”

“Yep. Another connection. We already made one tonight with soccer. Not to mention that we found each other three times in under 24 hours…” Ashlyn smiled.

“Okay, if you insist”, Ali said. Making a connection…must be part of that Hawaiian culture, she thought. Ali took a wild guess and ordered Macadamia Crusted Ono Wahoo for Ashlyn and Sautéed Opakapaka Pink Snapper with a soy-ginger glaze for herself.

“I love ono”, Ashlyn said with a smile as the waiter left. “Good choice”.

“I’m glad”, Ali said, and tried to inconspicuously breathe out a sigh of relief. “That was a bit nerve-racking, hoping I would get you something you’d like.”  
“Well, you did. So thank you. See? We made another connection", Ashlyn said and smiled.

Ali smiled back and then change the subject. “So, you alluded to the fact that you moved here. Where are you from originally?”

Ashlyn paused and then smiled. “No. I want to hear about you first. I’ve been doing all of the talking so far, talking about surfing and my friends and all. It’s your turn.”

Ali paused for a moment and then started in. “Okay, well, I grew up down the street from here, near Diamond Head.”

“Mauka or makai of the crater?” Ashlyn asked.

“Huh?”

“Okay, now I know you’re not from here.”

Ali kept a straight face for a second and then laughed. “Okay, okay I’m not from here. But, how could you tell?”

Ashlyn laughed. “Well, for one, you don’t know what mauka or makai mean.”

“What do they mean?”

“Mauka means ‘towards the mountain’, and makai means ‘towards the ocean’. They’re used as directions, like north or south”, Ashlyn explained. So, I was asking you if you grew up north of the crater or south of the crater. It was also a bit of a trick question, though, since if you had just taken a guess and answered makai, that would have meant that you grew up in the ocean, since the crater is pretty much on the ocean.”

“Well, I could have been a mermaid”, Ali joked.

“Maybe”, Ashlyn said. “You have the beautiful eyes of one.”

Ali felt her cheeks flush. “Thank you”, she said. She felt her heart flutter a bit and tried to calm it down. “So, um, how else did you know I wasn’t from here?"

“Okay, well, two, you’re way too pale to be from here.”

“True, but how did you know I didn’t grow up here and then move away a few years ago?”

“Well, because three…in addition to you not knowing some words that all locals know…well, let’s just say that I can spot a haole.”

“Haole?” Ali asked and raised her eyebrows.

“It means foreigner. Well, the original meaning is ‘outsider’, or ‘foreigner’ – anyone who was not native Hawaiian, but nowadays it generally refers more to tourists, visitors, people who don’t live here.”

“Got it”, Ali said. “Well, you got me.” They both laughed. “I guess I just can’t fake being a local. I’m from Chicago. Well, the Chicagoland area. I was born and raised on the north shore of Chicago, in a suburb called Winnetka.”

“The north shore?” Ashlyn said. “That’s funny – we have a north shore here, too. It’s on the north side of the island. It’s where all of the big surfing tournaments are held each winter.”

“Really? Wow, that’s…a crazy coincidence.” Another connection we made, Ali thought. She had never really given much thought to coincidences, but maybe they, like magic, were an important part of life on this island. “Anyway, I graduated high school from there and then went to college at the University of Illinois. When I graduated college I moved back to Chicago. I got a job pretty much right away when I got back, and I’ve been working ever since.”

“Okay, and why are you here in Hawaii?” Ashlyn asked. She was enjoying getting to know this haole beauty in front of her. Truth be told, she had wanted to talk longer with Ali last night at Sidestreet, but Hope was getting antsy to eat, and Hope getting antsy means Hope getting on edge. No one wants Hope on edge.

“I work in marketing. Digital marketing. The company I work for sent me here to attend a global marketing conference being held at the convention center.” The convention center was about a mile from Ali’s hotel.

“Oh. Digital marketing. Like, internet stuff?”

“Yeah, that’s part of it. Internet, digital TV, mobile and tablet technology, games, apps…anything in the digital realm.”

“Cool”, Ashlyn said, a little lost. “I mean, I don’t really know much about that kind of stuff. I use my phone mostly to check the surf report and call my friends and family.”

“Well, there’s nothing wrong with that. I mean, technology is here for whatever you want to use it for.” Ali took a sip of her drink. “So, now it’s your turn. You said you moved here. When did you move here? How did you end up here? I want to know all that good stuff”, Ali said, as she gazed at Ashlyn across the candle on the table.

“My grandparents on my mom’s side moved here years ago. My mom was born here.”

“Okay, that’s interesting. But how did you end up here, if you weren’t born here? I mean, this place is pretty far away from…well, anything.”

“Well, far away is all relative. I mean, to me, you live pretty far away. I’m right here.” Ashlyn jockeyed back.

“Right, I get that. I mean, like, did you move here with your family? I guess I’m just curious as to how people end up living here, somewhere so…I don’t know…”

“Far away?” Ashlyn finished Ali’s sentence teasingly.

Ali laughed. “Yeah, I guess that’s what I’m trying to ask”.

“I moved here about 15 years ago, early on in high school”, Ashlyn said. I have an aunt who lives here, so I lived with her until I graduated high school, and then I kind of got my own place. I’ve been working here and there ever since. I’ve been a lifeguard, a deckhand on fishing boats, I’ve worked in bars, restaurants, surf shops, I’ve taught surf lessons, you name it.”

“Wow. Sounds…like you’ve done a lot of different stuff.” Live sure is different here on the islands, Ali thought. I’ve had one job and a clear career path since I graduated college. Also, Ali thought, there’s something in Ashlyn’s answers about where she’s from that’s a bit…I don’t know…evasive maybe? She decided to ask one more time. “How about your parents? Do they live here too, or do they live back home, wherever you’re from?”

Something came over Ashlyn’s eyes. A sadness maybe. Ali saw it and immediately knew something was wrong, that she had hit on something that she shouldn’t have. She started to reach across the table to put her hand on Ashlyn’s, but stopped herself. Instead, she just said, “Ashlyn’ – you don’t have to answer, and I’m sorry if I asked a sensitive question.”

Ashlyn looked straight at Ali. “No, it’s okay.” She exhaled a deep breath. “I grew up in Satellite Beach, Florida. During the spring we get a lot of spring breakers there. People get drunk, and things can get... well, when I was fourteen, my parents went out to dinner one night. When they were driving home, they were hit by a drunk driver, a spring breaker driving home from the bars. He walked away. My parents didn’t.” Ashlyn paused and then continued. “My aunt, who lives here, came to Satellite Beach to arrange the funeral and take care of legal stuff. Then she sold the house that my parents and I had lived in, and she brought me here. I finished up high school here, and I haven’t left the island since.”

“Ashlyn”, Ali said. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. I mean, it sucks, but you can’t change the past.” Ashlyn’s eyes misted over for a second, and then they refocused and she looked straight at Ali. “I’ve lived over half my life without my parents, and I miss them every day. But I guess life has to go on. I kept my dad’s car. It’s the only thing I kept that belonged to my parent’s. That and a photograph.” She looked down for a second and then looked back up. “I don’t mean to get emotional in front of you. I just haven’t talked to anyone about this in a while.”

The waiter returned with their meals. They sat in silence for a minute and ate. Ali spoke first. “Ashlyn”, she said, and Ashlyn looked up. “Thank you for sharing.” Ali smiled at the blonde haired beauty sitting across the table from her.

Ashlyn stared at her for a moment, and then smiled slightly. “I haven’t shared anything yet”, she said, lifting a forkful of ono in the air.

Ali laughed, as she realized Ashlyn was trying to lighten the mood. “No, I meant your story, your past. But, I would like to share meals, if you want to…”

“Of course”, Ashlyn said. She cut off a piece of ono and put it on Ali’s plate, then she speared a piece off of Ali’s opakapaka with her fork. Ali watched her and smiled. Ashlyn’s motions seemed so natural, as if they had been sharing meals together for a long time.

“How about you? Do your parents still live in Chicago, or on the north shore of Chicago?” Ashlyn asked, as she ate the piece of fish she had taken from Ali’s plate. “God, that sounds weird for me to say, the north shore of Chicago.”

Ali smiled at that last comment, and then her tone turned serious. “My mother still lives in the Chicagoland area. My father passed away when I was 17.”

“Oh”, Ashlyn said, and stopped chewing. “Sorry to hear. Should we…stop talking about this? I feel like this is like two downers right in a row.”  
Ali laughed lightly in an attempt to lighten the mood. “No, it’s fine. He was a trader on the stock exchange in downtown Chicago. He was making good money, but it was a stressful job. He started drinking a lot, and then he started making bad decisions. One day he inadvertently made a horrible decision, and it ended up costing him a fortune. Well, it ended up costing all of us in his family a fortune. He had a stroke right there on the trading room floor. He died instantly. The funeral was a week later. The week after that, the legal proceedings started, and my mother found out that we didn’t have nearly as much money as we thought we had. My father’s bad investments had basically left us with nothing. Here we were, living in a half million dollar house, with literally not a dime to our name. It was like living in a hollow shell. My mom and I ended up moving into an apartment in a less expensive part of town. I finished off high school and then went to U of I because it was cheaper than going to Penn State, which is where I had wanted to go. I graduated in three and a half years to try to save money, and I studied hard, so I could get the best job possible, one that would make me good money, so that I or no one I loved would ever have to go through what I went through after my father died.”

Ashlyn just sat there for a moment and then said, “Wow. I’m sorry to hear.” The table fell silent for a second and then Ashlyn said, “Jesus, listen to us, two heartbreak kids with heartbreak stories.” She raised her drink and looked around the room. “Best first date ever!” She shouted. A few heads turned. She laughed, breaking the tension, and Ali laughed with her.

“You know, Ali, I think what we experience influences who we are and what we do, and the bottom line for me these days is that…well…I just roll with it”, Ashlyn said, as she cut another piece of ono for Ali and helped herself to another bite of Ali’s opakapaka. “I learned that you never know when life is going to go sideways on you, so I stopped planning and started just living. I’ve been doing that since the day I got here, and I haven’t looked back. Nowadays I just go with the flow. Kinda like surfing – I just go where the wave takes me.” She smiled.

“I can see that”, Ali said. “I think I went the other way, though.” I thought I had security, and when my father passed away, he left us with nothing. Now I just want to make sure that I’m secure, my mother is secure, and if I ever have a wife and children, that they are secure. That’s what drives me more than anything these days.”

“I can see that, too.” Ashlyn said. “I guess I just don’t live like that. But, maybe I should start living more like that. Maybe the answer is somewhere in the middle of where you live and where I live.”

“Well, maybe you’re right. And maybe I can learn something from you - like, how to just enjoy life and just see where things go.” Ali said. She gazed at Ashlyn over the candlelight and smiled.

Ashlyn returned her gaze and smiled back. “Maybe we can learn something from each other.”

 

********

 

After dinner Ali and Ashlyn walked arm in arm back to Ali’s hotel. Ashlyn played tour guide, pointing out shops and other points of interest to Ali. Ali made a mental note to visit some of the places while she was here in Hawaii. They got back to the front of the lobby and stopped to face each other.

“So, um, I still want to try surfing sometime”, Ali said, looking at Ashlyn. “Maybe you can teach me? I can pay you for the lessons”, she said and smiled.

Ashlyn smiled back. “I’d love to teach you. And you don't need to pay me. When do you want to start?”

Ali thought about that. She was supposed to attend some panels tomorrow, but, as much as she was enjoying the conference, the thought of spending more time with Ashlyn was much more appealing. “How about tomorrow?” she asked.

“Okay. I’m free in the morning. How about I come by around 8?”

“Sounds good”, Ali said. She looked down for a moment, and then looked back up into Ashlyn’s eyes. “So…do you, um…do you want to maybe come up for a drink?”

Ashlyn held Ali’s gaze and then smiled slightly. “Yes, I do. But not tonight. Some other time. Sometime soon.” She stepped closer to Ali and took Ali’s hands in hers and locked their fingers. “Get some rest”, she said. “You’re going to need it.”

“Okay”, Ali said. She was a bit disappointed. She wasn’t necessarily expecting to bed Ashlyn tonight on their first date, but she was hoping to extend their date a bit longer.

Ashlyn sensed her disappointment, and she leaned in to Ali. “I had a wonderful time tonight. Thank you”.

Ali’s heart skipped a beat. Ashlyn’s lips were less than six inches from hers. She could smell Ashlyn’s scent – coconut ginger, and she could feel Ashlyn’s breath on her. “No, thank you for coming out with me", Ali said. "Look, I completely understand if you don’t want to come up-“ she was about to start babbling when Ashlyn leaned in and planted a kiss on her lips. Ali felt their lips press together, and she closed her eyes. They stayed locked for a few seconds, and then Ashlyn slowly pulled away, lightly biting Ali’s lower lip as she did. They stared into each others’ eyes for another moment longer, and then Ashlyn took a step back. She took the flower out of her ear and handed it to Ali. Ali took it, her fingers trembling.

“Goodnight, Ali. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” Ashlyn leaned in one more time. She kissed Ali again on the lips and lightly touched Ali’s lips with her finger, then smiled, turned around and walked away. Ali just stood there, watching Ashlyn walk down the street, her heart fluttering, and her mind replaying the kisses they just shared.


	5. Chapter 5

Ali woke up to the sound of her phone alarm. It was just after 6am. Her eyes fluttered open, and she turned off the alarm and laid back down in her bed. She hadn’t slept well, due to a combination of excitement about trying surfing and replaying her date with Ashlyn over and over again. She laid in bed for a few more minutes and then switched on the light on the end table next to her bed. As she did, she noticed the flower that Ashlyn had given her. She had put it on the pillow next to her, before she had gone to bed. She picked it up, closed her eyes and smelled it, breathing in its and Ashlyn’s scent.

Ali had her morning coffee and did a quick check of her emails, then rescheduled her panels to the afternoon to accommodate her morning surfing lesson. She took a quick shower just to help herself wake up and then started getting dressed. She put on her swimsuit, and then over it threw on a white and yellow sundress. She wore an old pair of brown sandals, and she made a mental note to maybe pick up a pair of zoris flip flop sandals that the islanders are so fond of. She applied some light makeup, grabbed her purse and left the room.

Ali waited in the lobby near the concierge desk. She looked at her watch. It was a bit after 8am. Ali figured that Ashlyn would be running late, but she wanted to be early herself anyway, so she got to the lobby around 7:45. She looked at her phone and then realized that she still didn’t have Ashlyn’s number. She made a mental note to ask for it sometimes today.

“Hey!” Ashlyn called out. Ali looked up and saw her at the front entrance of the hotel. She was wearing just a bikini bottom and another one of those waterproof shirts. Ali waved and started walking towards her, and a thought crossed her mind. Do I kiss her right now? What's the protocol on that after our date last night? What’s going on between us? Ali started firing off questions in her head.

“Hi”, Ashlyn said as Ali approached her. Ali was still trying to figure out if she should kiss Ashlyn, but Ashlyn answered that question by leaning in and initiating the kiss. She pressed her lips to Ali’s and held them there for a delicious moment and then pulled back. Ali’s heart skipped a beat yet again.

“So, did you sleep well?” Ashlyn asked.

“Um, not really”, Ali said and then laughed. “I was really excited for my surfing lesson today.” Ali wanted to tell Ashlyn that the main reason she didn’t sleep well was because she was thinking of Ashlyn, but she decided that might be laying it on a little too thick, so she kept that to herself.

“So, are you ready?” Ashlyn asked. She took Ali’s hand and lead her to her car, parked ten feet away right outside the lobby.

Ali looked over at Ashlyn’s car and noticed that there were two surfboards on the rack. “So this is it, huh?” Ali asked. “Your dad’s car? Well, your car now.”  
“Yup, this is it. The Lolo low-rider”, Ashlyn said and laughed, opening the passenger door.

Ali laughed. She started to get in and then paused for a second and said, “Wait – we’re not going here?” Ali motioned towards the beach out back from her hotel.

“No, I have a better spot. The waves are better, and it’s a bit more out of the way, so it’s less crowded”, Ashlyn explained. “Its not too far away. C’mon.” She smiled and got in her car.

Ali stuck one leg in and then said, “Wait…Hope’s not going to be there, is she?”

Ashlyn laughed. “No, Ali. Hope’s not going to be there”. Ali laughed back and got in the car. Ashlyn fired up the engine and they drove off.  
They pulled up to the surf spot ten minutes later. It was a small stretch of beach just east of Diamond Head. Ashlyn got out and started to grab the surfboards. Ali got out as well and started to take off her sundress, and then looked at Ashlyn.

“Hey, what’s that called?” Ali asked, motioning to Ashlyn’s top.

“It’s called a rash guard. It keeps the sun off you and keeps your chest from getting a rash, which can happen from laying down on the board for long periods of time. I have an extra. Do you want to wear it?”

Ashlyn smiled. “Will it help me surf better?”

Ashlyn laughed. “No, unfortunately not, but it will help to protect that lovely skin of yours.”

Ali blushed a little and then said, “Yeah. I’d love to borrow it. Thanks.”

Ashlyn smiled, went back into her car, and got the extra rash guard. It was while with pink letters that said ‘Billabong’. She handed it to Ali.

“Thanks. Is there a place I can change?”

“You can change right here.”

“Uh, Ashlyn, we’re out in the open right now”.

“I know, but no one's around”, Ashlyn replied. Ali hesitated, and Ashlyn said, “How, this – I will stand guard for you, and if I see anyone I’ll holler. Sound good?”

“Um, okay, I guess”, Ali said. Ashlyn turned around to face the road, and Ali quickly removed her bikini top. Ashlyn quickly scanned the road and then turned back around. She caught Ali right as she was pulling the rash guard down over her face. She’s beautiful, Ashlyn thought. Ali’s head popped out of the top, and she stared at Ashlyn. “Ashlyn! You’re supposed to be watching the road for me!”

“I know, but the view was better over here”, Ashlyn said and smiled flirtatiously.

Ali stared for another second longer, and then she shook her head and smiled shyly. “Okay, well, thanks for the vigilant lookout”, she said sarcastically. 

Ashlyn smiled. “Anytime. How does it fit?”

“It fits good, I think. Okay, I’m ready to go.”

“Alright. Here’s your board”, Ashlyn said, as she handed Ali one of the surfboards. She grabbed the other and said, “Follow me.” They headed out from the parking lot across the grass towards the beach. Ashlyn stopped on the grass right before they reached the sand. She laid her board down on the grass, and Ali did the same.

“Okay”, Ashlyn said. “Learning to surf starts before you even get in the water. The first thing you need to do is stretch. You’re going to be using muscles you didn’t even know you had”, she said and smiled.

Ashlyn started stretching, and Ali mirrored her movements. “Really stretch your shoulders”, Ashlyn told Ali. “You’ll be doing a lot of paddling today.”

They stretched for a few minutes, and then Ashlyn moved on to the next step.

“Okay, the next thing to do is look at the waves. Before you even get in the water, you need to understand what’s happening out there.” Ali nodded in understanding. After yesterday’s near-drowning experience, she definitely understood the value in that.

Ashlyn took Ali’s hand and pulled her closer, then turned her towards the water. “Look out there. Look at the waves”. Ashlyn motioned with her free hand. Look how they move. Look at the speed at which they move, the direction they move, where they start breaking, how they break, and where they loose steam and fizzle out”. She looked at Ali.

“Uh, I think I get it”, Ali said.

Ashlyn laughed. “Don’t worry, you don’t have to memorize this or become a wave reading expert in 5 minutes. And there’s no test later.” Ali laughed, and Ashlyn leaned in to kiss her on the cheek. “So, we will paddle out to there”, she said and pointed with her free hand, “and then we will ride the waves in”. She traced an invisible line to indicate their path of travel.

“Got it”, Ali said, anxious to get in the water. She let go of Ashlyn’s hand and went to grab her board. “Okay, I’m ready.”

“Woah, woah, woah, slow down, Ali.” Ashlyn laughed. “We’re not done on land yet.”

“Okay, uh, what’s next?” Ali asked, confused. “I mean, don’t we have to be in water to surf?”

“Yeah, we do, but you have to learn to stand up on the board first. And you learn that by first practicing on land.” Ashlyn motioned to the boards. “Go ahead and lie down on the board.” Ali did. “Scoot back a bit.” Ashlyn bent over and put her hands on Ali’s hips to usher her back. Ali felt that electricity once again. “Good, there you go. That’s where you want to be.” Ashlyn got onto her board as well. “Now, probably the hardest thing to learn when you first try surfing is to learn how to pop up on your board”.

“Huh?” Ali said.

“Pop up. Going from laying down to standing on the board. It’s the action of pushing yourself up on your board and landing on both feet at the same time. Surfboards are inherently unstable, so if you land with one foot before the other, you will tip over and fall. And, even if you land with both feet, it's still hard to maintain your balance and remain standing."

“Got it.” This might be trickier than I had anticipated, Ali thought.

“Okay, watch me.” Ashlyn counted to three, and then popped herself up on her board to a crouched position. “Okay, you try it”, she told Ali.

Ashlyn counted to three, and Ali popped up. Not bad, Ashlyn thought. She had Ali repeat the action a dozen times, giving her slight instruction and plenty of encouragement each time.

“Okay, ready to get in the water?” Ashlyn asked.

“Yup, I think so”, Ali said, both nervous and excited.

“Grab your board, and let’s take one last look at the water”, Ashlyn said. Ali grabbed her board and stood next to Ashlyn. “The water can change quickly”, Ashlyn said, as she scanned the ocean in front of her. “Now, do you notice how the waves don’t come at regular intervals?”

“Yeah”.

“Waves rarely do. They come in twos, or threes, or fives, or whatever. Then they’ll die down, and there will be no waves for a bit. That’s called sets. When waves come, they come in sets.”

“Got it”.

“Okay, you ready?” Ashlyn asked and smiled. Ali nodded and bit her lower lip. Adorable, Ashlyn thought, and then got back to her train of thought. “Okay, take the leash on the surfboard and wrap the velcro around your ankle. This will keep the board with you in case you fall off.” Ali copied Ashlyn and attached the leash to her ankle.

“Okay, follow me!” Ashlyn ran into the water and jumped on her board and started paddling. Ali watched her for a second and then followed suit, mimicking her movements. It was amazing, she thought. She felt like she was gliding on water. She paddled with her arms, mimicking Ashlyn, who was about ten feet in front of her. Ashlyn looked back and smiled. Ali smiled back. They paddled for about three minutes, and then Ashlyn stopped. Ali stopped right next to her.

“Okay, so here we are. This is what they call the takeoff spot. This is where the lineup would be, except today, it’s just you and me.” Ashlyn looked at Ali and raised her eyebrows flirtatiously. “We’re going to sit here and wait until a good set of waves comes in.”

“Okay”, Ali said. She stared out towards the horizon and felt the swell gently rising and falling underneath her. “Wow, this is beautiful.”

“Look around you. This is a view not many people get, and great views are part of the beauty of surfing.”

Ali looked around. She could see the beach behind them, and behind that the mountains in the distance. She watched the beach fade off to the left and to the right as she turned herself slowly in the water, and then she looked out again into the open ocean. She sat transfixed for a few moments, and then Ashlyn’s voice brought her back.

“Okay, Ali, here comes a set”, Ashlyn said. Ali could see the waves start to form about 100 feet from her towards the horizon. “Now, for this first ride, don’t stand up. Just get used to the feeling of the wave taking you, and just ride it lying down on your board. Got it?”

“Yup”.

“Okay, turn around. Good, now start paddling.” Ali started to paddle. “Go Ali, go!” Ali kept paddling, and then she felt it. The wave surged beneath her, and a weightless feeling overcame her, like she was floating for a second or two. Then she felt the power of the wave beneath her as it carried her towards shore. Ali rode it until she heard Ashlyn call her back, and then she turned around, and started paddling back out.

“How’d that feel?” Ashlyn said, like she already knew the answer to that question.

“Amazing”, Ali said. She couldn’t believe the feeling, that feeling of floating, of weightlessness, of power, that she had just experienced. It was unlike anything she had ever felt, and she wanted to feel it again.

“Okay, next time – you’re standing up”, Ashlyn said, and smiled enticingly. “Here comes another wave. Ready?” Ali nodded. “Okay, paddle!” Ali started to paddle. “Go Ali! Paddle!” Ali heard Ashlyn yelling and kept paddling, then felt the wave take her. “Okay, pop! Ali, pop up!”

Ali pushed herself up and did her best to land with both feet on the board at the same time. She did, and the floating feeling that she had felt while lying down was amplified tenfold now that she was standing. I’m doing it, she thought. I’m really doing it! She smiled wide, raised her fist in victory and went to look back at Ashlyn, and that’s when it happened. She felt the board tip towards the right. She tried to tip it back towards the left, but she overcompensated, and she went flying off the board and landed on her back in the water. She went under for a few seconds and then came up to the surface. She wiped the water out of her eyes. She looked around, and saw Ashlyn paddling towards her, smiling broadly.

“Hey, that was pretty good for your first time.”

“I was standing”, Ali said. “I was actually standing! Wait – how long was I standing for?”

“About four seconds”, Ashlyn said.

“That’s it?”

“Yeah. I mean, really, that’s pretty good for your first try. Some people, it takes dozens of tries for them to get it. Some people, they never get it at all. Trust me – I’ve taught surfing lessons to hundreds of people. So, when I say that was good for a first try, then it was good.” Ashlyn smiled encouragingly and Ali. Ali smiled back, and thought about how good it felt that her island girlfriend thought she was doing well at something that mattered to her so much. There we go with the girlfriend thing again, Ali thought. She shook it off and followed Ashlyn back out. They reached the takeoff area again, sat and waited. 

“Hey, come here”, Ashlyn said. Ali paddled over to her. “I’m going to show you a trick that will help you remain standing once you pop up. Here, put your board right next to mine”. Ali did, and as she did, Ashlyn leaned in and kissed her lips. Ali closed her eyes, and felt the feelings of the kiss mixed with the gentle rising and falling of the swell beneath her. Ashlyn opened the kiss a bit, and Ali felt Ashlyn’s tongue push slightly into her mouth. They continued like that for another few seconds, and then Ashlyn pulled back gently. Ali opened her eyes and saw Ashlyn gazing at her.

“There, that should help”, Ashlyn said softly. Ali smiled. Ashlyn continued to stare at Ali for another moment, and then she looked around. “Okay, looks like we’re on”, Ashlyn said as she spotted another set. “Okay, Ali, here we go again. Paddle! Go Ali!” Ali paddled and she felt the wave start to take her. “Pop up!” she heard Ashlyn yell, and she pushed herself up. There it was again, the floating feeling, and then she felt the power of the wave surge under her, propelling her towards shore. Keep calm, Ali told herself, focus, stay up. She spread her arms for balance, concentrating on the feeling of the wave beneath her board and trying not to shift her weight so she wouldn't fall. She heard Ashlyn whooping in the distance, and she told herself not to look back. I’m doing it, Ali thought. I’m really doing it! This time I’m really doing it! Ali’s body tingled with elation, and she rode the wave until she felt it lose steam and peeter out underneath her. She laid back down on her board and started paddling back out. Ashlyn had started to follow Ali in, and they met halfway.

“I did it!” Ali shouted with joy.

“Yay! Al - You were great!” Ashlyn shouted back. “How do you feel?”

“Amazing”, Ali said, as she registered not only the feeling but also the fact that Ashlyn had just called her “Al”. Are we at nicknames now? she thought. She thought she would respond in kind. “Ash - I can’t describe the feeling.”

“You’ll never be able to”, Ashlyn said, registering that Ali had just returned the nickname status. She smiled. “And you know what? That’s okay. It doesn’t matter. You don’t have to.”

Ali paddled closer to Ashlyn. She puller her board parallel to Ashlyn’s and drew her face close. “Thank you”, Ali said, and leaned in for a kiss. Their lips met, and Ali instantly deepened the kiss. They stayed lip-locked as the swell gently rose and fell underneath them. The combination of the kiss, the swell, the setting, and the elation of actually surfing a wave overcame Ali, and she made a move to climb onto Ashlyn’s surfboard to further the action. She made it most of the way across, and was just congratulating herself on not tipping them over, when all of a sudden a wave splashed over both of them. The kiss was broken, and both women went toppling off Ashlyn’s board. Ashlyn came up first, laughing loudly, followed by Ali, who who laughed as well.

“Wow, talk about ruining the moment”, Ali said and laughed.

“Totally”, Ashlyn agreed. “By the way, we’re in a bad spot here. This is called the impact zone, where the waves actually break. We should move back out. That is, if you want to still keep surfing?”

“Definitely!” Ali said enthusiastically. “But, later, I want to get back to what we were just doing”.

“So do I”, Ashlyn said with a wink.

 

********

 

They spent the rest of the morning in the water, taking turns catching waves. Ali was ecstatic. Surfing was like nothing she had ever done before. Ashlyn was impressed with how quickly Ali had picked it up, and she was smitten with the fact that this haole girl who she was quickly falling for was enjoying something that she herself was so passionate about. Another connection, Ashlyn thought. They got out of the water shortly before 11am and headed back to Ali’s hotel.

“So, what are you doing the rest of the day?” Ashlyn asked Ali as they pulled up to the front of Ali’s hotel.

“Well, I feel like I should go attend some panels at this conference”, Ali sighed. “I mean, I’d rather spend the rest of the day with you, but it’s like, I am actually enjoying the panels, and my company did send me here to go to this conference, not to spend all of my time with my beautiful Hawaiian surfer girl-“

Ashlyn leaned in and cut Ali off with a kiss. Ashlyn ran her tongue across Ali’s bottom lip, and then lightly took it between her teeth. Ali returned the kiss and pushed her tongue gently into Ashlyn’s mouth. Ashlyn’s hand went to the back of Ali’s head, and she pulled her in closer while their tongues danced. They stayed locked like that for another minute, and then Ashlyn slowly pulled away.

“Stay with me, Al.” Ashlyn said, as she looked right into Ali’s eyes. “Spend the day with me.”

Ali looked at her, emotions swirling, breath caught in her throat. “Okay. W-w-what are we going to do?” she asked.

“I have something I want to do with you”, Ashlyn said. “Please – just spend the day with me.”

Ali looked down, and then looked back up. There was nothing more she would like than that, but her head and heart were starting to swim with emotions. She had known this woman less than 48 hours, and already she was starting to not be able to imagine life without her. Part of her wanted to take a break, to get back to being focused on what she came to Hawaii for, but part of her was being pulled towards Ashlyn by something stronger. Like the pull of the ocean, she just couldn’t resist. She looked back up into Ashlyn’s eyes. “Okay”, Ali said in a breathy voice. “I’m all yours for today”.

“Awesome! I promise - you’ll love this”, Ashlyn said. At that Ali smiled, and they drove away.


	6. Chapter 6

Ashlyn and Ali drove from Ali’s hotel to a local Hawaiian barbeque plate lunch place. They took their orders to go and then got back into Ashlyn’s car. They drove west along Ala Moana Boulevard out of Waikiki, and then Ashlyn pulled off and parked. Ali looked around and saw boats. Lots of boats.

“Ash, where are we?” Ali asked.

“Kewalo Basin. It’s the largest small boat marina on Oahu.”

“And…what are we doing here?”

“You said you liked mahi mahi, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, let’s go get some!” Ashlyn smiled, put on her sunglasses, grabbed their lunches and got out of the car. Ali put on her sunglasses and followed. They walked along the marina until they came to a boat towards the end of the dock.

“Wow, Ash. Is this yours?” Ali asked, excitedly. She was staring at a 31 foot Bertram, an iconic offshore fishing boat. Ali didn’t know that – she just thought the boat looked cool and was impressed that Ashlyn owned one.

"Ha! I wish. No, John John’s brother owns it”, Ashlyn explained. “He lets me use it when he’s not out fishing himself. This", she exclaimed and pointed to the name on the back of the boat "is Malia.”

“Wow”, Ali said again. These Hawaiian names are beautiful, she thought, and she also didn’t care that Ashlyn didn’t own the boat. She just wanted to be on it with her. “And you know how to drive this thing?”

“No. I figured I’d try for the first time today, take us 50 miles out to sea, and then see if I could get us back.” Ashlyn smiled and winked at Ali.

“Alright, smartass”, Ali retorted. It’s crazy that we’ve so quickly gotten to the point where we can joke with each other, Ali thought.

Ashlyn stuck her tongue out at Ali and smiled, and Ali laughed. It’s amazing how comfortable we’ve become with each other in such a short period of time, Ashlyn thought.

Ashlyn climbed onboard and took the lunches from Ali. She fired up the engines and then had Ali remove the mooring lines. She took Ali’s hand and helped her onto the boat, and the two of them slowly made their way out of the harbor. Ashlyn gave Ali a quick overview of the boat and a safety briefing. The boat had a fully enclosed cabin with a small table, a forward berth that had been customized with a full-sized bed, a bathroom and a small but fully functional kitchen. Once they passed the harbor’s no-wake zone, they climbed up to the shaded flybridge, and Ashlyn opened up the throttle. They headed straight out of the harbor for about 10 minutes and then took a right turn and headed west.

“We’re going to a good fishing spot about 30 minutes away!” Ashlyn yelled over the roar of the engines and the wind. “Check out the view!” She motioned to the shore with her hand. 

Ali sat next to Ashlyn and stared in awe. It was the most breathtaking view she had ever seen. They were cruising parallel to the shore, about two miles from the beach. She looked back and watched as the harbor, Waikiki and Diamond Head faded into the distance. Then she turned around and followed the coastline as it curved ahead of them. She looked at Ashlyn, confident at the helm, her hair whipping in the wind, and in that moment, Ali thought: She’s amazing. I’m falling for her, and I’m falling fast. Things are happening that I have no control over, and I don’t know what to do. Part of me is scared, but part of me is just so in love with what’s happening right now that I just don’t care. She tried not to think about it, and told herself, maybe I should just be more like Ashlyn, and just ride the wave and see where it takes me.

Ashlyn slowed the boat as they reached their destination. She put the engines in idle, climbed down from the flybridge and then helped Ali down. She gave Ali a quick peck on the lips and then explained what they were doing.

“We’re near the west coast of the island now. Currently, we are over a ledge. A ledge is a place where the sea floor below the surface of the ocean drops off dramatically. When currents hit the shelf, they cause upwelling, which draws small baitfish. Small baitfish draw larger fish, and so on and so forth. This area here” she motioned with her arms “is one of the best places on the island to fish for mahi mahi.” She smiled. “Are you ready to catch some dinner?”  
“Hell yeah!” Ali said excitedly. Ashlyn grabbed two rods and started rigging them up. Ali looked at her, impressed with her skill. She’s obviously done this before, Ali thought. Ashlyn opened up the bait cooler and grabbed some bait. She showed Ali how to bait the hook and then handed her the rod. Ashlyn got behind Ali and started explaining how to work the rod and reel.

“Okay, push this lever up, and the reel goes into free-spool. This is what allows you to feed the line into the water.” Ashlyn’s left hand was on the rod, covering Ali’s left hand, and her right hand was on the reel, covering Ali’s right hand. Ashlyn put her thumb over Ali’s thumb and together they pushed the lever to make the bait fall into the water. They let the line go out for about a minute, and then Ashlyn took Ali’s thumb and moved the lever back. The line stopped going out.

“Now, you reel in the line slowly like this”, Ashlyn instructed. She put Ali’s hand on the reel handle. She covered Ali’s hand with her own and reeled with her for a few seconds until Ali got the hang of it. Ashlyn kept her arms around Ali and nuzzled into the back of Ali’s neck while Ali reeled. Ali could feel Ashlyn’s breath on the back of her neck, and she closed her eyes as she reeled, reveling in the feeling. She reeled all the way back up and looked back at Ashlyn.

“Okay, so what do I do now?”

“Put it out there again.”

Ali started to let the line out again. “Okay, so how do you know if you have a fish?”

“Because it will feel like this”, Ashlyn said. She moved from behind Ali and tugged on the line at the end of Ali’s pole. “Or something like that. Trust me – you’ll know”.

“Okay”, Ali said as she started to reel in. “Is this how you guys catch all of your fish? I mean, it seems kind of slow and bori-“

BAM

Ali didn’t get a chance to finish the word "boring" because a fish suddenly slammed the end of her line. The pole bent double and the reel screeched. Line started peeling off fast. Ali squealed. “Oh my God!” as she hung on.

Ashlyn laughed. “You got one!” she said excitedly. “Reel, Al! Reel!” Ali started reeling against the strain of the fighting fish. “I see him!” Ashlyn shouted, as she peered over the side of the boat. “He’s about 30 feet down”. Ali kept reeling, and Ashlyn grabbed a gaff. “You’re doing great, Al. Just keep reeling, and I’ll tell you when to stop.” Ashlyn grabbed the line and helped to guide the fish towards the waiting gaff. “You’re almost there, Al…okay…stop!” Ali stopped reeling, and Ashlyn planted the gaff. She waited until the fish stopped struggling and then hoisted the fish aboard the boat.

“And THAT, beautiful, is a mahi mahi!” Ashlyn exclaimed.

“Oh my God!” Ali said in excitement and awe. She had never reeled in a fish before, and this one was like almost as big as she was. Well, not exactly, but it was at least 3 feet long. It’s blue and green colors shined brilliantly in the afternoon sunlight. with hints of yellow. Ashlyn took the fish and threw it in a large cooler. Then she grabbed a hose and washed off her hands. She looked at Ali and came closer.

“How do you feel?” Ashlyn asked as she gently took hold of Ali’s arms.

“That…was…awesome”, Ali said, still in a bit of awe over the whole experience. It was so…primal. It was like really connecting with nature. Catching your own food…Wow, she thought. Pretty amazing.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it”, Ashlyn said, and she leaned in and gave Ali a kiss. Their lips met for a few seconds, and then Ashlyn pulled away and smiled. “You feel like catching some more?”

“Yeah!” Ali said. Ashlyn grabbed a rod for herself, and the two women spent the rest of the afternoon fishing for mahi mahi. A few hours later they had a cooler full of fish and were starting to get tired of reeling. Ashlyn stowed the rods and then climbed up to the flybridge. She helped Ali up and then engaged the engines.

“The sun is going down soon. I know a great place to catch the sunset”, Ashlyn said. She headed towards land and anchored the boat in a small cove on the southwest side of the island. She climbed down from the flybridge and helped Ali down. She took off her sunglasses, opened a drink cooler, grabbed two cans of passion-guava juice and handed one to Ali. Ali took the can and pushed her sunglasses to the top of her head. She looks absolutely adorable, Ashlyn thought.

“Oh my God, is this soooo good”, Ali said as she took a sip.

"I'm glad you like, "Ashlyn Said. She smiled at Ali and then turned towards the horizon. “Look”, she said.

Ali turned, and her breath caught. The sun was just starting to dip into the horizon. She stared into the bright orange ball, and as she stared, she felt Ashlyn’s sculpted arms go around her waist. She put her arms over Ashlyn’s and leaned back to rest her head on Ashlyn’s shoulder.

“I’m so glad you’re here”, Ashlyn whispered, as she nuzzled into the back of Ali’s neck. 

“I’m so glad I’m here, too”, Ali said. She half-closed her eyes and continued to stare at the brilliant orange globe as it sunk into the ocean.

“Look”, Ashlyn said, “here comes the green flash. As soon as the last of the sun sinks into the ocean, you will see a flash of green zip across the horizon.”

Ali kept looking, and sure enough, as soon as the last of the sun had sunk below the horizon, a brilliant green flash shot across the surface of the water. 

Ali’s jaw dropped, and she stared for a moment.

“Cool, huh?” Ashlyn breathed into the back of Ali’s neck.

Again – that breath on the back of my neck, Ali thought. “It was amazing”, she said, breathless. She leaned her head back further on Ashlyn’s shoulder and turned her head to face Ashlyn. “Thank you for an amazing day”.

Ashlyn smiled, and then leaned in and kissed Ali’s lips. Ali closed her eyes and returned the kiss, her mind swirling with thoughts of the sunset, the kiss, the warm island breeze, and everything that had happened to her since she had set foot on this island. She came back into the moment as she felt Ashlyn turn her around to face her. They kissed for a moment longer, and then, Ashlyn broke the kiss, took Ali by the hand, and led her into the cabin.

 

********

 

Ali’s eyes fluttered open. It was dark, except for a bit of moonlight that was creeping into the boat, and all she could hear was water lapping. For a moment she couldn't remember where she was, and then she remembered and closed her eyes and smiled in the near-darkness. She was laying on her back in the berth of the boat. Pale moonlight shone dimly through the two small windows in the berth. Ashlyn was laying partly on top of her, her right leg over Ali’s right and her right arm draped over Ali’s chest. Her head was nuzzled into Ali’s neck. They had spent the evening making love in the berth of the boat. That, combined with the morning surf session and the afternoon deep sea fishing excursion had wiped out both of them, and they had fallen asleep. Ali laid there with her eyes closed for a minute longer and then felt Ashlyn stir.

“Hey sleepy”, Ashlyn whispered and kissed Ali on the forehead. “Are you awake?”

“Hey you, yeah”, Ali whispered back. She looked at Ashlyn in the dim light and kissed her on the lips.

“Quite a day, huh”, Ashlyn said.

“Yeah, I’d say”. Ali agreed. She sat up slightly. “What time is it?

“I have no idea”, Ashlyn said. “I’ll turn on a light and check. I’ll be right back”. She got up, turned on a small utility light in the cabin and found her phone. “It’s 11pm”, she told Ali.

“Mmmmmm…” Ali moaned sleepily and closed her eyes. She wanted to stay out here on the boat forever, but she needed to get back. She had ditched a whole day of the conference and needed to make up for it tomorrow.

Ashlyn walked back into the berth and climbed back into the bed. “Hey”, she said. “Do you need to get back?”

Ali pouted. “I don’t want to, but I probably should”.

Ashlyn smiled understandingly. “I understand. I mean, you blew off the whole day to be with me. I'm sure your company didn't send you out here to go fishing and surfing and make love to a local girl.” She laid back down and put her forehead to Ali’s and said, “I hope it was worth it.”

“Oh, it was”, Ali said. She smiled and kissed Ashlyn’s lips again.

Ashlyn smiled back. “Okay, beautiful, let’s get you back.” Beautiful. Ali smiled. She liked the sound of that word, coming from Ashlyn’s mouth in reference to her. Ashlyn moved to get up and put her clothes on, but Ali pulled her back down.

“Hey”, Ali said. She pulled Ashlyn close, and then looked her right in the eyes. “I just want to let you know that this has been like the most amazing day of my life.”

Ashlyn gave Ali an Eskimo kiss and then kissed her for real. “I had a lovely day too”.

“Hey”, Ali said. “I just also want to say that…I’ve been thinking about what it would be like to make love with you ever since I saw you on that surfboard a whole two days ago.”

“Two days ago…” Ashlyn said. “That's all it's been? I mean, it feels like we’ve been together for…forever”, she said and smiled.

“I know. It’s amazing. Like, somehow in two days you’ve completely filled my life.”

“I know. I feel the same way”, Ashlyn said. “So…?”

“So…what?”

“Was making love with me everything you thought it would be?”

“It was better”, Ali said and smiled. Ashlyn smiled back and the two of them kissed tenderly.

“Hey – can I ask you something?” Ali said.

“Of course, beautiful.”

“Are you…are you gay?”

Ashlyn propped herself up on her elbow. “Does it matter?”

Ali panicked a bit. Did I say something wrong, she thought? “Well, no, not really, I mean, not at all, I was, you know, I was just curious if you like just women, or men, or both, or-“ she started rambling.

Ashlyn laughed softly. “I like you”, she said. She emphasized the word "you" by touching Ali’s lips with her finger, and then she moved her hand onto Ali’s heart. Ali’s breath hitched, and she stared into Ashlyn’s eyes.

“I like you too”, Ali said. “A lot”. She kissed Ashlyn and looked into her eyes and smiled. 

Ashlyn smiled back. She looked down, and then looked back up at Ali. “As for the gay question…well, I’m pretty sure we just answered that, right?”

“Yeah, I guess so”, Ali laughed, and Ashyln thought it might be the loveliest sound in the world.


	7. Chapter 7

Ali and Ashlyn arrived back at Ali’s hotel around 7:30 the next morning. They had talked about coming back the night before after waking up from their nap, but Ashlyn had been worried about boating all the way back in the dark, and Ali hadn’t really wanted to return anyway, so they opted to stay overnight on the boat. They had remained anchored in the cove, and Ashlyn had cut out a couple fillets from one of the mahi mahi they had caught and made them a midnight dinner in the small kitchen. They had forgotten to eat their lunches that they had bought on the way to the marina, so they rounded out their dinner with some rice and mac salad from those. They had eaten dinner on the bow of the boat, and then Ashlyn had taken Ali into her arms and the two of them had snuggled under the stars. Ali had looked around and thought to herself how amazing this was, just the two of them, with no one else around. It was as if they were the only two people in the world. I could die happy right now, Ali had thought in that moment. They had returned to the bed in the berth around 2am. Both of them had wanted to make love again, but they were too tired, so they settled on falling asleep in each others' arms. Ashlyn had woken up with the sunrise and started them on their way back to the marina. Ali had slept in the berth until they had reached port.

“So, what time do you get out today?” Ashlyn asked Ali as they pulled up to the front of Ali’s hotel.

“I don’t know”, Ali said, still sleepy. “Sometime in the afternoon.”

“Me too. I’m working the lifeguard tower at your beach today.” Ashlyn pointed to the beach out back of the hotel. “I‘m thinking about going hiking when I get off work. Want to join me?”

Ali smiled. “I do, but I’m not sure what time I get off.”

Ashlyn smiled back. “Okay. Um, just let me know?”

“Hey, you know what I was thinking about the other day?” Ali asked. “I don’t even have your number.”

Ashlyn paused. “Huh, that’s true. Ha, I hadn’t even thought of that.”

Ali smiled and leaned her head back against the head rest. She looked at Ashlyn with eyes that were partially sleepy and partially dreamy. “You know what’s funny? I haven’t gotten your number yet, and now that I think about it, I remembered that I asked you out without even knowing your name.” She paused and then continued. “It’s like, we’ve spent all this time together, and we are now just exchanging numbers. I mean, we haven’t talked on the phone or texted or anything.”

Ashlyn looked back at Ali and smiled slightly. “I know, it’s kinda weird. I guess sometimes you don’t really need technology." Her smiled broadened. "Or names.”

Ali smiled at her island girl, who cared so little about technology and following the normal rules of how people do things. “So…can I get your number?”

Ashlyn laughed. “Of course, beautiful”. They exchanged numbers, and Ali leaned in to kiss Ashlyn and then got out of the car.

 

********

 

Ali left the conference around 3pm. The panels were interesting, but she’d had trouble concentrating. All she could think about was Ashlyn and what was happening between them since she had arrived in Hawaii. She had only been on the island for three days, and she already felt like she was living a totally different life. She had been checking her phone all day, hoping to see a text or call from Ashlyn. God, I haven’t checked my phone like this since I was in high school, waiting for Brent, my high school boyfriend, to call. It's funny, Ali thought. When you're with someone, all you can think about is them. Then, when you move on and you're with someone new, you can't figure out why you were so obsessed with that other person before. Random thought, Ali laughed to herself. Now, as she was leaving the conference room, she felt a little bummed out that a message hadn’t come yet. She walked out of the building and pulled her phone out again. Still no message. Oh well. Perhaps Ashlyn hadn’t gotten off work yet. Don’t get down, she told herself. As Ali started to text Ashlyn a message, her phone buzzed. 

Ashlyn: Hey beautiful

Ali smiled at Ashlyn’s use of the word "beautiful".

Ali: Hey babe

Ashlyn: Are you out yet?

Ali: Just got out

Ashlyn: Do you still want to go hiking?

Ali: Yeah!

Ashlyn: Great! I can be by ur lobby in 30 mins. Have to deliver the rest of the fish we caught yesterday to Sidestreet.

Ali: Sounds good, babe. Save us one more fish for dinner soon. =)

Ali smiled at her own use of the work "babe", and how quickly they had started using terms of endearment with each other.

Ashlyn: Okay, beautiful. See you soon. xoxo

Ali: =) xoxo

Ali looked at her phone for a second, and then scrolled through the text exchange again, smiling as she did. She put her phone back in her purse and hurried back to her hotel room. She quickly changed into a pair of shorts, tank top and her running shoes. She grabbed her purse and headed down towards the lobby. Ashlyn was already there when she arrived.

“Heyyyyy”, Ali said as she approached Ashlyn. She put her arms around Ashlyn’s neck, as Ashlyn’s arms went around Ali’s waist. They kissed.

“How was your day?” Ashlyn asked.

“Good. Well, honestly, I had trouble concentrating. How was yours?

“About the same. I’m glad no one was attacked by a shark today. I may not have noticed”, Ashlyn said, and Ali laughed. Ashlyn smiled. “You ready?”  
“Yup.”

“Let’s go”, Ashlyn said. She took Ali’s hand and lead her out to the parking lot where she had parked her car. She opened the door for Ali, and then winked at her, jumped and slid over the hood, hopped in the driver’s side, and hit the gas. Ali laughed at Ashlyn’s Dukes Of Hazzard charade. They drove for about 15 minutes, under the H1 freeway, up a hill, and then parked on the side of the road. It looked to Ali like they were in a residential area.

“Ash, where are we?”

“This is Manoa”, Ashlyn said, motioning to the area around her. “There’s a waterfall about an hour’s hike away.” She pulled a small backpack from her back seat.

“Do you plan all of these activities?” Ali said. “I mean, I’m pretty sure you haven’t been home in almost two days. How are you so prepared, with a backpack for our hike and everything?”

Ashlyn laughed. “No, I don’t plan all of these activities. I kinda play everything by ear. I never know where I'm going to be or what I’m going to be in the mood to do. I pretty much live out of my car”, she said and then got out. Ali looked around the car. She wasn’t quite sure how Ashlyn lived out of her car. There wasn’t much in here, she thought. She stuck her purse underneath her seat and got out.

“Ready?” Ashlyn asked. She gave Ali a quick peck on the lips and then took her hand and led her onto a trail off the side of the road. They headed up the trail and in a few minutes they had left civilization behind and were all alone. The trail steepened, and Ashlyn let go of Ali’s hand and took the lead. Ali looked around while they hiked. Lush tropical foliage lined the trail, and the trees formed a dark canopy that blocked out the sky. They hiked in silence for a while longer and then came to a clearing. Ashlyn took out a bottle of water from the backpack and handed it to Ali. Ali took a drink and then handed it back to Ashlyn, who took a drink as well. Ali noticed that Ashlyn had offered her the water first, even though she was sure Ashlyn had been thirsty. She’s sweet to me, Ali thought, and she thought about how Ashlyn had taken great care of her on the boat yesterday, everything from taking her hand to help her around to asking if she needed to get back to making their late night dinner. Ali smiled inside.

“Cool, huh?” Ashlyn said, as they looked around.

“It’s beautiful”, Ali said. “Kinda looks like Avatar.”

Ashlyn smiled. “Yeah, it does, huh.” She stepped closer to Ali and took her hand. “Another connection”, she said and smiled.

“Huh?”

“Avatar is a love story, right?” Ashlyn asked and raised her eyebrows suggestively. Ali smiled and nodded. Ashlyn took Ali’s other hand. She touched her forehead to Ali’s and then planted a kiss on her lips. She pulled back and looked into Ali’s eyes. Ali gazed at Ashlyn for a moment and then closed her eyes. Thoughts started swirling again in her head, and she tried to block them out. She opened her eyes and smiled at Ashlyn.

“Shall we keep hiking?” Ali asked.

“Yeah,” Ashlyn said in a breathy voice. She looked at Ali for a moment and then pecked her lips. She let go of her hands and led the way as they continued on the path. The path twisted and turned for another half an hour. They hiked in silence, each lost in her own thoughts. As they continued, Ali became aware of the sound of rushing water. They emerged from the canopy covered the trail, and Ali’s jaw dropped.

Standing before them was a sheer cliff. Rushing down the cliff was the largest waterfall Ali had ever seen. It tumbled down the face of the hundred-foot drop and splashed into a large natural pool. Ashlyn looked at Ali and took her hand.

“What do you think?” Ashlyn asked.

“It’s…gorgeous”, Ali answered in an awed voice.

Ashlyn took her other hand and wiped a bead of sweat from Ali’s forehead. “You’re hot”, she said to Ali and smiled.

“Yeah, it’s hot out here, and I worked up a sweat hiking”, Ali verified.

“No – I mean, you’re hot”, Ashlyn said and winked at her.

Ali laughed shyly. “ _Mahalo_ Thank you” Ali tried her hand at the Hawaiian language. “You’re hot, too.”

Ashlyn leaned into Ali and kissed her on the lips. “Let’s go cool off”, she said. She let go of Ali’s hand and led the way up to the pool. She stripped off her clothes and prepared to dive in.

“Ash, w-w-what are you doing?” Ali asked incredulously.

“Cooling off. C’mon, beautiful. Join me.”

“B-b-but, what if someone comes-“

“Al, don’t worry. No one’s going to come.” Ashlyn smiled at her. “I’ll keep a lookout.” She winked and then dove into the water.

Ali smiled and shook her head. She stripped out of her clothes and stuck her right foot into the water. It was colder than she thought. Oh well, here we go. She counted to three and then dove in. She came to the surface and looked around. Ashlyn was right in front of her.

“Jesus, it’s cold in here”, Ali said as she swam over to Ashlyn.

“Yeah. There’s an underground spring that feeds water into this pool, so it keeps the temperature cool.”

“I’m going to have to keep swimming to keep warm”, Ali said.

Ashlyn smiled. “I’ve got a better idea. I want to show you something”. She motioned to Ali to follow her, and they swam to the area where the waterfall dumped into the pool. Ashlyn got out and then helped Ali climb up the rocks. She flattened her back against the cliff and shimmied herself into the small area between the cliff and where the water fell. Ali followed. She could feel the spray from the waterfall hit her face as she followed Ashlyn. It felt like a very large and rough shower.

They popped out behind the waterfall. They were in a small cave-like area. Beyond them the cave opened up, and a large spring filled the bottom, forming another natural pool. The late afternoon sunlight streamed through the waterfall. Ashlyn took Ali’s hand and helped her onto stable ground. Ali stared at the spring, and then turned back towards the waterfall and looked at where they had come from, the falling water distorting her view, like looking through a liquid-esque filter. Ashlyn came up behind her and wrapped her arms around her.

“Still cold”? Ashlyn asked.

Ali hadn’t thought about that since she first jumped in the water, but now that Ashlyn mentioned it, she realized that she was indeed still cold. She turned around to face Ashlyn. Ashlyn was right there, and their lips met. They stayed locked for a minute, their tongues dancing, and then Ashlyn gently pushed Ali back against the rock wall. She took her mouth off of Ali’s and moved it up to Ali’s ear. Ali closed her eyes and exhaled. She nibbled Ali’s earlobe and whispered, “Still cold?” Her hands went to Ali’s stomach.

“N-n-no…y-y-yes…I don’t know…” Ali breathed.

Ashlyn moved from Ali’s earlobe down her cheek and settled on Ali’s neck, planting kisses along the way. She continued her journey down and her mouth settled between Ali’s breasts. She exhaled a breath of hot air between them and then lightly bit down on each of Ali’s nipples. Ali gasped softly.

“Still cold?” Ashlyn asked.

“H-h-h-h-h-h…” was all Ashlyn could hear coming out of Ali’s mouth, as Ali’s breathing quickened. Ali tilted her head back as Ashlyn continued the journey down her body, her mind swirling with emotion, ecstacy, and the sound of the rushing water.

“Oh God…” was all Ashlyn heard as she settled at Ali’s center.

 

********

 

Ali and Ashlyn emerged an hour later. The sun would set in an hour, and the forest had gone almost dark. They put on their clothes, grabbed the backpack and headed back to the car in silence. They reached the car just as dusk arrived. Ashlyn opened the passenger door for Ali and then ditched the backpack in the back seat and got in.

“Hey”, Ashlyn said quietly as she started the engine. She looked at Ali and smiled.

“Hey”, Ali returned. She looked at Ashlyn with adoring eyes.

“How do you feel?”

“Tired. Hungry”, Ali said. “Happy”. She smiled.

Ashlyn laughed softly. “So, what do you want to do? Sleep? Eat? Make love again?”

“Yes. All.” Ali said. She grazed Ashlyn’s forearm with her fingernails. Ashlyn laughed softly.

“Can just go back to my hotel?” Ali asked. “I’m kind of wiped out. Maybe we can just pick something up on the way back, or order room service?”

“Yeah, that sounds great”, Ashlyn said with a tired smile. She put the car in drive and headed back towards Waikiki.

 

********

 

Ali and Ashlyn arrived back at Ali’s hotel room. Ashlyn stepped in and looked around. “Wow, beautiful. Very nice.”

“Thanks”, Ali said. “The company loves me”, she said and winked at Ashlyn.

“You must be an important person there.”

“Not really”, Ali said. Ashlyn looked at her with the “I can tell you’re lying” eyes, and Ali acquiesced. “Well, kind of, I guess. I mean, I’m the youngest VP in the company.”

“Wow, beautiful. I mean, that’s…that’s a big accomplishment, isn’t it?”

“I suppose so”, Ali said modestly.”

“No. You know so. That’s awesome. You should be proud.” Ashlyn kissed Ali’s shoulder. “Woah”, Ashlyn said, as she noticed Ali’s laptop and tablet sitting on the small table. “Nice. I mean, I don’t know anything about computers, but that stuff looks expensive.” Ali just smiled modestly. “Hey, can I check something?” Ashlyn asked.

“Uh, sure”, Ali said, a little puzzled, not sure what Ashlyn could possibly need to check. She obviously wasn’t a person who was addicted to technology. Ali had even Googled Ashlyn earlier while she was sitting in a conference panel, and nothing came up for her, not even a Facebook page.

Ashlyn took a seat and opened a web browser, then typed in a URL. “This is a website with surf cams”, she explained to Ali.

“Surf cams?”

“Yeah. Cameras that are placed at beaches around the world. They show what the surf looks like, so you can see it before you go”.

“Wow. That’s cool”, Ali said. I guess technology serves at least some kind of a need for everyone, she thought.

“Yup. I use it to check the surf here and also around the world at other good surfing locations, like Australia, California or Tahiti, or whatever. You can search for a location or type one in, and if there’s a camera there, it will pop up in the search results.”

“Cool”, Ali said again.

Ashlyn looked at the screen for another minute while Ali dialed for room service, and then she closed the laptop. Ali came up behind Ashlyn and put her arms around her.

“Sweaty hug for my island surfer girl”, she said and nuzzled into Ashlyn’s neck. Ashlyn purred. “Hey, so about what I said earlier…?

“Huh?” Ashlyn said.

“You asked me in the car what I wanted to do, and I said 'All', remember?” Ali reminded her.

“Oh, yeah, right.”

“So…can we get started?” Ali kissed Ashlyn’s neck, then took her hands, pulled her off the chair, and led her into the shower.

 

********

 

Ali and Ashlyn were standing on the balcony of Ali’s hotel room. Ali was wearing a nighty, and Ashlyn was just wearing one of Ali’s T-shirts. They had just finished eating the room service meal that Ali had ordered. After Ali had called down, she and Ashlyn had taken a shower together. They had apparently missed the room service delivery twice, so the food had arrived a little cold, but they hadn’t minded. Now, they were standing shoulder to shoulder, staring out onto the moonlit water. Ashlyn leaned over and kissed Ali on the lips, and then Ali tilted her head down and kissed Ashlyn’s bare shoulder.

“It’s beautiful”, Ali said. The moonlight reflected off the water straight in front of them, rippling with the gentle waves. The lights of Waikiki faded off to the left and right.

“Yes it is”, Ashlyn agreed.

“Can I tell you something?" Ali asked. "The very first day I checked into this hotel room, I stood right here on this balcony, and I fantasized about what it would have been like to have brought someone special here with me”, Ali recounted, staring at the water. Ashlyn looked at her and smiled. “I imagined what it would have been like to have that special someone standing next to me on this balcony, shoulder to shoulder", Ali said and lightly nudged Ashlyn to draw the correlation. "I imagined that special someone and me staring out at the water, and then that person would turn to me, tell me how nice it was to be here, and then smile at me and kiss me”. Ali looked right at Ashlyn and continued. “Never in a million years would I have thought that, three days after I got here, that fantasy would have become a reality” She smiled, and for the first time she could think of, she thought she saw Ashlyn blush.

“But, you didn’t bring me here, so the fantasy is not exact”, Ashlyn said coyly.

“No”, Ali said. “It’s better”. She leaned in and kissed Ashlyn, and Ashlyn deepened the kiss. They continued to kiss for another minute, and then Ali led Ashlyn back inside. She led Ashlyn to the bedroom, pushed her gently onto the bed and crawled on top of her. She licked Ashlyn’s neck, and then she removed her shirt that Ashlyn was wearing and her tongue made its way down Ashlyn’s chest. Ashlyn gasped.

“Al…beautiful…” Ashlyn began in a shattered whisper.

“Shhhhhh…” Ali said, as she kissed Ashlyn’s belly button and then continued her journey down Ashlyn’s body.

 

********

 

Later that night, in Ali’s hotel room bed, Ashlyn lay on her back, eyes open. Ali was curled up next to her, her arm draped across Ashlyn’s body, her face nuzzled into Ashlyn’s neck. Ashlyn listened to Ali’s rhythmic breathing. She had tried to fall asleep but couldn’t. What is happening to me? she thought. I’m falling for this girl. Three days ago I didn’t even know her, and now I’m falling. Like, really falling. How is this possible? Ashlyn thought, and she flashed back to when she first saw Ali at Magic Island as she was paddling back to shore, and for some inexplicable reason had been drawn to her. I just can’t explain it, Ashlyn thought. I’ve never felt this way before, for anyone. In fact, it’s been forever since I’ve felt anything real. I bottled up all of my emotions and left them on the mainland when I moved here all those years ago. I’ve been happy and carefree for so long. I’ve just been able to ride wave after wave without caring. Now, I meet this haole girl, and I’m falling head over heels, and the possibility of being hurt again just cruises right back into my life. I mean, I love what’s happening right now, but it’s not going to last forever. She’s going to leave at some point. And then what? Ashlyn thought. I don’t even know how she feels, or what she wants, or where she wants this to go. She looked down at Ali and smiled as Ali's nose twitched in her sleep. Oh, well, Ashlyn thought, I guess I’ll just ride it out and see what happens. She took a deep breath, exhaled, and continued to think as she stared at the ceiling.


	8. Chapter 8

A few days went by. Ali and Ashlyn spent as much time as they could together without Ali missing any more of her conference or Ashlyn missing any work. They went hiking. They went surfing. They went swimming. They ate dinners together and then Ashlyn would either spend the night in Ali’s hotel room or drive home so they both could get some much needed sleep.

“Hey stud”, Ali answered the phone.

“Hey beautiful”, Ashlyn answered back. By now they had pretty much abandoned their real names and were almost exclusively on terms of endearment. “So, my family is having dinner tonight, and I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner with us.”

“Uh oh, time to meet the family, huh?” Ali joked.

Ashlyn laughed. “You don’t have to go if you don’t want to. It’s up to you”, she said light-heartedly.

“You want me to meet your family?” Ali asked.

“Do you want to meet my family?” Ashlyn jockeyed back. Her voice took on a bit of a more serious tone.

Whoa, Ali thought. She was fine with meeting Ashlyn’s family, but she was more interested in the fact that Ashlyn had countered in a more serious tone so quickly. Ali couldn’t figure out if that meant that Ashlyn wanted Ali to meet her family more than she was letting on, or if she was trying to ascertain how much Ali actually cared about meeting her family, and thereby get a gauge as to how interested in or serious about this relationship Ali was. Ali had to admit to herself that she was far from sure what was going on between her and Ashlyn, or what she herself even wanted out of this relationship, but she decided that any kind of jockeying from Ashlyn or seriousness in her tone of voice was a good thing, since it indicated that Ashlyn cared.

“Okay, I’m in.” Ali said.

“Awesome! I’ll pick you up around 7?” Ashlyn asked.

“Okay”, Ali said.

“Okay”, Ashlyn confirmed.

“Okay”, Ali said again.

Ashlyn laughed. “Okay! Stop saying okay and hang up already!”

“Okay…” Ali laughed. “I just had to say it one more time”. It was adorable how silly they had become with each other, Ali thought.

“Bye, beautiful”, Ashlyn said.

“Bye, babe.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

“Okay, stop saying bye already!” Ashlyn laughed.

“Okay, okay, okay, bye, bye, bye!” Ali rattled off, and then laughed and hung up.

 

********

 

Ali took her time getting ready, deliberating over what to wear. Once again, Hawaii is more casual than Chicago, she thought, and this is dinner at a house, not a restaurant, but I am still meeting the family of the girl I’m dat- no, scratch that, we’re not dating, wait – are we? Or maybe we aren’t but we’re…I don’t know what we are. We’re something, Ali thought. Anyway, I should look somewhat presentable. I’ll err on the side of dressier, since I’m sure everyone there will figure out that I’m not from here and hopefully cut me some slack if I overdress, she thought, and she finally settled on a dark brown dress that matched her eyes and matching open toe heels. God, this is so bizarre, she thought. I’m nervous, like I’m meeting a new girlfriend’s parents for the first time. She got ready and then headed down to the lobby.

“Hey, beautiful”, Ashlyn said as Ali got into the car. Ashlyn was wearing a black and white sarong-style top, grey almost-dressy surf shorts, and stylish black and white zoris. She leaned over to give Ali a quick kiss and then reached to get something in the back seat. “I got you these.” She handed Ali a plastic bag.

“You got me a plastic bag?” Ali asked sarcastically. “Thanks, babe.”

“No, lolo”, Ashlyn came back. “Open it.”

Ali opened the bag. Inside was a pair of black zoris with a wavy red pattern on the straps.

“Oh my God, these are soooo cute!” Ali said. She leaned in and kissed Ashlyn on the cheek.

“You like?” Ashlyn asked.

“They’re…perfect.” Ali said. “I can’t believe you got me these. I mean, I was just thinking the other day about how I should buy a pair to wear while I’m here.”

“Really?” Ashlyn asked and Ali nodded. “Connection again. Well, now you have some”, Ashlyn said satisfactorily. “Try them on”.

Ali slid them on her feet and wiggled her toes.

“Do they fit?” Ashlyn asked.

“They fit perfectly”, Ali gushed. “How did you know what size I wear?”

“I didn’t”, Ashlyn said, “but I’ve sold a bunch of these in the surf shops I’ve worked in, so I can kind of guess people’s zori size. Plus, I took a good look at your feet the other night while you were sleeping, so I had a pretty good idea.”

“That’s creepy, babe”, Ali said, and then laughed. “Thank you. Mahalo.”

Ashlyn winked at her and they drove off. They headed east out of Waikiki towards Hawaii Kai. Ashlyn pulled up to her aunt’s house about 15 minutes later.

“Here we are”, Ashlyn said, as she parked the car in the driveway.

“Cute house”, Ali said as she looked at the house out the front windshield. It was a raised single story house with off-white wood exterior, a reddish-brown shingled roof, an attached garage, an extra carport and a large palm tree in the front yard. Very island-y looking, Ali thought.

“Thanks”, Ashlyn said. “It’s my Aunt Christie’s house. She bought it when she sold my parents house in Florida.”

“So, who all’s going to be here tonight?” Ali asked and looked at Ashlyn. “I just want to know what I’m in for”, she said in mock seriousness.

“Well, my aunt is the only blood relative I have here, besides my grandmother, who lives in a nursing home near here, but she won’t be here tonight. The rest of the guests are _ohana._ "

“Ohana?”

“It’s like extended family. Ohana can be blood relatives, but also close friends, neighbors, etc. Anyone who you consider family, whether or not they are blood-related.” Ashlyn looked at Ali. “Ohana is the family you choose for yourself.”

“Okay, I get it."

“So, you ready, or you wanna stall some more?” Ashlyn smiled. She could tell Ali was a bit nervous.

Ali looked back at her. “Whatever, ass. I’m ready”. Ashlyn gave Ali a kiss of encouragement and they got out of the car. Ashlyn took Ali’s hand, and they headed for the front door. She opened the door for Ali and ushered her inside. Ali looked around and saw about twenty people standing around, drinking and eating pupus. Many of them turned to look at her when she and Ashlyn walked in. Ali could feel them sizing her up, checking out the new haole girl with their friend and relative. Ali spotted Ashlyn’s friend Whitney, who was talking with a gorgeous island-y looking girl with very dark skin and long, wavy hair.

“Hey _keiki”_ niece. Ashlyn looked to her right, and Ali saw a woman with reddish-blonde hair who looked to be about forty come out of the kitchen.

“Hey Auntie”, Ashlyn said, and gave her a hug. She turned to Ali and said, “Auntie, this is Ali. Ali, this is my Aunt Christie.”

“Nice to meet you”, Ali said, as she smiled and shook Christie’s hand. She doesn’t look old enough to be Ashlyn’s aunt, Ali thought.

“Nice to meet you too, Ali. Ashlyn has told me a lot about you”. Ali looked at Ashlyn, whose face went red. Christie said, _“E komo mai”_ Welcome. Then, she gave Ali the once-over. “Wow, you’re pretty.” Ali blushed slightly. She turned to Ashlyn and said, “Nice work, keiki.”

“Auntie, please”, Ashlyn said, exasperated. Ali laughed. Ashlyn turned to Ali and rolled her eyes. “I’m gonna need a drink. You might need one too.” Ashlyn took Ali by the hand and lead her into the kitchen. She grabbed two glasses, filled them with ice and passion fruit juice, mixed in some vodka and handed one to Ali. “It’s kinda like the same thing we had on the boat”, Ashlyn said, “but better.” She winked at Ali. Then she walked around the room and introduced Ali to everyone. Ali smiled and shook hands, trying to remember everyone’s name. This is going to be impossible, Ali thought. Everyone’s name is like twenty syllables long, and they all start with either H, K or L. At least I got Christie’s name down, and I remember Whitney from the restaurant. That’s two. Ali got that far in her thoughts when a commanding voice boomed through the house.

“Grinds are up!” Food is ready.

Ali looked over and saw Hope. She was wearing a tank top and waving a spatula. 

Ashlyn turned to Ali. “Food’s ready. Are you hungry?” 

“Is she related to you?” Ali asked. 

“Hope? No, but she’s ohana. Like I said, she looks tough, and she can be hard, but she’s good peeps. And she’s a great cook.” Ashlyn took Ali by the hand and walked over to Hope. "Hey brah, howzit", she addressed Hope. 

“Hey, Lolo”, Hope said, and gave Ashlyn a hug. Hope spoke with a strong pidgin accent. 

“Hope, this is Ali”, Ashlyn said. 

“Yeah, I remember you from Sidestreet da other night”, Hope said. “You kept me waiting to eat while you were hitting on my friend.” Ali froze for a moment, as Hope stared at her, and then Hope smiled and said, “Just fuckin’ with you. Howzit? Nice to meet you.” She stuck out her hand. Ali continued to stare, frozen, and then Ashlyn tapped Ali on the leg with her foot, snapping Ali out of her trance. 

“Hi Hope, it’s n-n-nice to meet you t-t-too", Ali stammered a bit, nervous. "Uh…Ashlyn tells me you’re a really good cook.” 

“I am”, Hope said proudly. “And I tell you somethin’ else.” She leaned in to Ali and lowered her voice. “I’m not nearly as mean as she’s probably told you I am.” She gave Ashlyn a knowing stare and then smiled and winked at Ali. Ali laughed, relieved. 

“Okay, that’s it. Jesus, Hope. You’re scaring my girl. Get back behind the grill”, Ashlyn said and ushered Ali past Hope outside to the back patio. My girl, Ali thought. She liked the sound of that, coming out of Ashlyn’s mouth. 

“Hey Ali, watch out for dat one”, Hope said, pointing his spatula at Ashlyn. “She’s trouble!” Ashlyn looked back and stuck her tongue out at Hope. Ali laughed. “And you betta try a plate of my Kalua Pork, _haole_ foreign girl. Best on da whole island!” she called after them. Ali heard a few people laugh and she smiled and shook her head, amused. 

Dinner was served buffet style on a long table on the back patio. Kalua Pork, rice, mac salad, and a mixed greens salad with fresh avocado slices and mango. There was a fire pit in the middle of the large back yard, and everyone sat around it and ate. Ali had to admit, Hope really was a great cook. Everything tasted amazing, and Ashlyn’s ohana were really welcoming. They asked her all sorts of questions - where she was from, what she did, what she was doing in Hawaii, and how she liked it here. It was cute, Ali thought, how they seemed so interested in who this new haole girl with Ashlyn was. A few of them seemed a little interested in computers, but for the most part the conversation centered around surfing, fishing, hiking and going to the beach, the island’s natural beauty, and other pleasantries of island life. Ali thought about how different is was from the dinnertime conversations her and her family and friends had back home in Chicago, where a lot of the talk centered around work and who was dating who. Once again, she thought, life is so different out here. 

The guests started filtering out after dinner until only Christie and Whitney were left. Hope stayed long enough to clean up and then left to meet a girl she was seeing named Kelley who worked at one of the local bars. Christie had made a haupia coconut cake for dessert, and the four of them sat down at the kitchen table. 

“So, Ali, how long you in town?” Whitney asked while taking a bite of cake. Whitney had lived on the island her whole life and spoke with the local’s pidgin accent. 

“Just another two weeks”, Ali answered. “I’ve been here a week already.” 

“A week? Das it?” Whitney said. “And already you landed dis one?” She pointed her fork at Ashlyn. “Nice work. She’s a tough catch”. 

“Whit…?” Ashlyn said, warning creeping into her voice. Whitney winked at her. 

Christie turned to Ali. “So, when you leave, will you take my keiki with you? She needs to do something with her life.” 

“Auntie, please”, Ashlyn said. 

Christie continued talking to Ali. “Maybe your ambition will rub off on her. You know, maybe make her a VP at your company, like you.” 

“Oh my God, here we go”, Ashlyn groaned, as she rested her forehead on the back of her hand. 

“I like her, keiki. You should hold onto this one.” 

“Christ”, Ashlyn said, still resting her forehead on her hand. She closed her eyes and exhaled, trying to keep calm. 

“Look, keiki, I’m just saying. I know you like the islands, but you should go explore a bit.” Ashlyn looked up, rolled her eyes and looked back down, so Christie continued. “Go back to the mainland, check it out, look around. You know - explore, take a chance, fall in love…” she looked at Ali and smiled, and Ali looked down and laughed in a combination of disbelief, amusement and embarrassment. 

Ashlyn put down her fork. “Okay, look, that’s enough.” She looked at her aunt. “I like living here, and I don’t wanna go back to the mainland. And Al and I have only known each other for a week, so it’s not like we’re gonna run off and get married tomorrow.” 

“Al?” Whitney said, looking at Ashlyn. “You just called her Al, Ash. You’ve only known each other for a week, and you’re already using nicknames? In front of other people already? God, I can only imagine what you two do behind closed doors.” She raised her eyebrows suggestively at Ashlyn. 

“Oh my fucking God.” Ashlyn stood up. “Unbelievable. I need another drink”, she said, and stomped off into the kitchen. Whitney laughed, and Ali smiled, somewhat embarrassed, but that was overshadowed by her amused enjoyment of watching the family dynamic of Ashlyn’s ohana. 

“I don’t know, keiki!” Christie called after Ashlyn. “Seems like love to me!” 

 

********

 

Ashlyn took Ali by the hand and walked her out to the back patio. They started crossing the back yard, and for the first time, Ali noticed a separate small cottage at the end of the yard. 

“Wait – what’s this?” Ali asked. 

“This is where I live”, Ashlyn said. 

“Wait – you live here?” 

“Yup.” 

“Oh”, Ali said, surprised. “I thought you said you had your own place”. 

“This is my own place.” 

“Well, I mean, if you live here”, Ali said, spreading her arms, referring to the property in general”, couldn’t you live in the main house with your aunt? It’s a decent size house, and it’s just her living in it, right?” 

“Are you kidding me? You saw my aunt tonight. I’d kill her if I lived in the same house as her.” 

“Babe, she’s just being family” Ali said in a conciliatory tone of voice. I know how it is. I have family too. She just wants what’s best for you.” 

“I know, and I love her, but she drives me crazy sometimes.” They reached the cottage and Ashlyn opened the door. “Anyway, I used to live in the house until I finished high school. Now I live here. It’s smaller, but I can come and go as I please, and it’s my own space.“ 

Ali stepped in and looked around. It was a small cottage, almost like a vacation bungalow. It was all one room. Straight in front was a small kitchen and a small round table with two chairs. To the left was a couch and a small TV. Behind those was the bed on one wall, and taking up the other wall was the bathroom, the only area in the cottage separated by a wall and a door. 

“Well, this is it”, Ashlyn said, as she threw her keys and purse down on the table. 

“Ash…it’s adorable.” Ali said as she continued to look around. The cottage was very sparsely decorated. There was a small bookshelf with a few DVDs, a few CDs, a few books, some shoes and a couple candles. There was one picture frame with a photo that Ali guessed was of Ashlyn’s parents. A tapestry of the Hawaiian flag hung above the head of Ashlyn’s bed. Four surfboards lined the far wall of the cottage, and two fishing poles leaned up against the wall in the far corner. There was a small dresser next to the bed, and an open bar attached to the ceiling on which hung a few suits and some rash guards. Wow, Ali thought, how could a girl my age own so little stuff? I think I brought more stuff for my trip than Ashlyn owns, period, Ali thought. 

“Well? Do I pass the test?” Ashlyn asked. 

“What test?” Ali asked. 

“The…you know, the girlfr- uh, the ‘living abode of the special someone in your life’ test”, Ashlyn said. She hoped she didn’t sound too nervous. She wasn’t exactly sure what was happening between her and Ali, and she knew they weren’t at the girlfriend status, but she knew that there was something happening between them, since they were definitely at least behaving like more than just friends. Also, Ashlyn had put together that Ali lead a significantly more lavish lifestyle than her back in Chicago, and she hoped that Ali would approve of her place. At the very least, Ashlyn thought, I hope she at least thinks it has an “island-y” charm to it. Funny, Ashlyn mused - I never gave a shit before about what anyone else thought of my place. 

Ali turned to look at Ashlyn. She walked over and took Ashlyn’s hands, and then said, “Definitely. I love it”, and kissed Ashlyn on the lips. They broke the kiss and Ali said, “Do I pass the test”? 

“What test?” Ashlyn asked. 

“The ‘does my family like the special someone in my life’ test?” Ali said. 

Ashlyn leaned in for another kiss. “Eh…I think they like you okay”, she said, and then smiled. “Of course. You’re too charming, and too beautiful not to like.” 

“Awww…thanks, stud”, Ali said. She kissed Ashlyn again, a little deeper this time. She broke off for air, and the two women gazed into each other’s eyes. Then Ashlyn looked down and said, “Oh, shit.” 

“What?” 

“N-nothing”, Ashlyn said, as she tried to maneuver her body so Ali wouldn’t see what she was trying to cover up.

Ali peered around Ashlyn and then said, “Oh my God”, and started laughing. 

“Damn”, Ashlyn said. “I knew I should have hid that thing.” 

Ali bent down to the coffee table and picked up Ashlyn’s laptop. It was an old PC laptop from the early 2000s. Ali turned it over in her hands and nearly died laughing. “Are-you-fucking-serious?” She asked Ashlyn between laughs. 

“I knew you’d make fun of me.” Ashlyn closed her eyes and cursed. 

“Babe, this thing is as heavy as an encyclopedia.” 

“Alright, Geek Squad, gimme that thing”, Ashlyn said, as she snatched her laptop from Ali’s hands and put it back down on the coffee table. 

“Are you like on DOS with that thing?” Ali continued to laugh. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you nerd”, Ashlyn retorted and went to light one of her candles. “I don’t even know what DOS means, but I know it wasn’t a compliment. Anyway, listen, I think I got enough harassment from my ohana tonight. I don’t need to get more from my girlfr-, uh, special someone, as well.” 

“I’m sorry”, Ali said, still laughing but calming down. “I just haven’t seen one of those in, like, a decade and a half. 

“Look, I can check surf cams and surf reports, and that’s all I need.” 

“Come here, babe”, Ali said consolingly. She walked over and wrapped Ashlyn in her arms and kissed her cheeks. Ashlyn feigned annoyance but soon gave in and forgave Ali with a kiss on the lips. They broke the kiss, and Ali sat down on the couch while Ashlyn went into the fridge to get a couple drinks. 

“God, I can’t believe I leave in 2 weeks”, Ali thought out loud as she sat back on the couch. 

Ashlyn turned her head. “You leave two weeks from today? God, it’s only been a week since you arrived? Seems like it’s been a lot longer, like we’ve lived an entire lifetime together or something.” She sat down next to Ali on the couch and handed her a drink. 

“I know, right? Ali said. She looked Ashlyn in the eyes. “It’s been an amazing week. Thank you”. 

“No, thank you”, Ashlyn said, and light touched her finger to Ali’s lips. 

Ali smiled and then said, “Your aunt doesn’t look like you.” 

“I know. It’s weird, right? But she’s my aunt. She’s my mother’s sister.” 

“I like her”, Ali said. 

“She likes you too.” 

“Better than all of the other girls you bring home for ohana dinner?” Ali smiled. 

“Shut it”. 

Ali laughed. “I like your family, your ohana.” Ali took a drink and then said, “Maybe someday you can meet my family.” 

Ashlyn laughed slightly. “Yeah, sure, like, if they come here.” 

“Or, you could come to visit me”, Ali said. 

“And how would I get there? I mean, it’s not like it’s next door.” 

“Uh, you could fly. There are these things called airplanes. I took one myself to get over here.” 

“Yes, I know what an airplane is. I just meant that, well, plane tickets are expensive. I mean, unfortunately I don’t have a company to pay for me to travel.” 

Something just happened here, Ali thought. Ashlyn’s voice took a bit of a serious turn somewhere. She put down her drink and looked at Ashlyn. “I would pay for you”, she said. 

Ashlyn looked back at her. “Really?” 

“Yeah, really.” Ali said. She paused for a moment and then said, “Unless…unless you don’t want to come.” 

“Sure”, Ashlyn said, looking at her drink and swirling it. 

“Sure?” Ali repeated. “What does ‘sure’ mean?” She took Ashlyn’s drink out of her hands and took Ashlyn’s hands in hers. “Ash, is something wrong? Like, did I say something to upset you?” 

“What? No. Nothing’s wrong”. 

“You seem like you just got upset”, Ali said. “Do you not want to come visit me in Chicago? I mean, we can stop talking about it if you want.” 

Ashlyn looked down. “I guess I never really thought about it.” 

Ali sat up. She was a bit taken aback. “Really? I mean, we’ve spent almost every day and night together since we met, and now you’ve invited me to have dinner and meet your family, but since we’ve been together, you haven’t once thought about meeting my family or even visiting just me in Chicago? 

“Well, no, I mean, I thought about it, but it’s just not…I don’t know. It’s like, it’s not realistic for me, or not practical, or something…I mean, it’s so far away…” Ashlyn drifted off. 

Ali sat silent. She had to admit, she was a little hurt. Of course, she knew that she and Ashlyn hadn’t talked about what they were to each other, and of course she knew that Ashlyn didn’t owe her a visit or anything, and of course she knew that there was a possibility that, as much as she didn’t want to acknowledge it, this could just be some island fling that would end the moment she got on the plane and headed back home. But, it didn’t feel like just a fling, and she figured that, with everything that was going on between them, Ashlyn would have at least considered visiting Ali, if not Ali plus her family in Chicago. There was something else, though, Ali thought, something other than our relationship that is making Ashlyn reticent to come back to the mainland. Ali didn’t know what it was, but she could hear it in Ashlyn’s voice when Ashlyn spoke. 

“Hey”, Ashlyn said, bringing Ali back to the present. She pushed a lock of hair out Ali’s face and tucked it behind her ear. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine”, Ali said. She looked and saw that Ashlyn was staring right at her. 

“I’m sorry if I upset you by not saying right away that I’ll come visit you, beautiful”. Ashlyn paused and then said, “I would love to come visit you.” 

There, Ali thought, as she looked down. She just said it, but it kind of felt like she just said to appease me so I wouldn’t be upset. Ali looked up and started to talk. “Look, Ashlyn, if you don’t want to come visit me, then that’s fine. I understa-“ 

“Shhhhh…” Ashlyn said. She cut Ali off with a finger to her lips, and then replaced her finger with her mouth. She ran her tongue over Ali’s upper lip, and then took Ali’s lower lip in between her teeth. She pushed Ali back onto the couch and deepened the kiss. Ali moaned and then pushed her tongue into Ashlyn’s mouth. Ashlyn opened her mouth fully to accept Ali’s kiss, and they stayed like that for a hot minute. Then Ashlyn pushed herself off Ali, stood up, grabbed Ali’s hands, and led her to the bed. 

 

********

 

Ali and Ashlyn were lying in Ashlyn’s bed. A faint moonlight illuminated the room through the window. Ashlyn was curled up on her side. Ali was spooning her, her arm draped around Ashlyn’s waist, her head nuzzled against the back of Ashlyn’s neck. She listened to Ashlyn’s slow, rhythmic breathing as the surfer girl slept. Something changed tonight, Ali thought. Something shifted in our relationship. Ashlyn clearly didn’t want to talk about visiting Chicago, and Ali figured that was just a symptom of the larger issue that Ashlyn didn’t want to talk about their relationship in general. I get that she’s more of a go-with-the-flow person than I am, Ali thought, but I figured she would at least want to talk with me about things if she sensed that it was important to me that we talk. It was almost like she was scared, Ali thought, like she was scared of leaving this island. Ali had a feeling she knew what the roadblock was for Ashlyn, but without Ashlyn talking with her, she wouldn’t really know for sure. I get it, Ali thought. Life is safe for her here, but if this relationship or whatever we have is going to keep happening for the rest of the time while I am here or perhaps even continue when I leave, then we need to talk about it, and we need to be able to talk with each other. Ali let her mind rest for a moment, and then realized she might be spinning her wheels. Is it even worth it? Ali thought. Is it even worth worrying about this whole thing? I mean, realistically, nothing’s going to happen, right? She lives here, I live there, we’re separated by the largest body of water in the world. Maybe all of this worrying is pointless. Maybe I just need to enjoy my time with her while I’m here, and then just go with whatever happens after I leave. Ali sighed, and then whispered into the back of Ashlyn’s neck, “You’re amazing, my island girlfriend. I don’t want to leave you. I want you in my life, always.” She kissed the back of Ashlyn’s neck ever so lightly, then closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep.   
Ashlyn had not been sleeping. She had been feigning sleep, since she needed to think. She couldn’t hear Ali's thoughts, but she did hear what Ali whispered and felt Ali lightly kiss the back of her neck, and she both smiled slightly and held back a tear at the same time.


	9. Chapter 9

Ashlyn dropped Ali back at her hotel the morning after the ohana dinner. Neither had said much that morning. They were both lost in their own thoughts, and even though they hadn’t spoken about it, each was thinking the same thing: The honeymoon phase of this thing is over. Things are getting more serious. Feelings are deepening, and the possible end is in sight. I need to figure this out, first for me, and then we need to figure out what we’re doing together.

A few days went by with Ali and Ashlyn going their separate ways. Ali caught herself constantly checking her phone to see if she had received a message or call from Ashlyn. Sometimes, she found herself just staring at her it, as if by staring at her phone she could will a message from Ashlyn to magically pop up. She read through the texts they had exchanged so far over and over again. She found herself doing that wherever she was – at the conference, on the beach, out to eat. Sometimes she would be somewhere but find herself thinking about something she had experienced with Ashlyn, rather than enjoying whatever she was doing at the time. She laughed as she thought of what Ashlyn would think of that irony, since Ashlyn loved to live in the moment, but it was Ashlyn in Ali’s thoughts that was preventing Ali from doing just that. It’s funny, Ali thought. I was so excited to come here for a number of reasons, and now, all of those reasons have taken a backseat to something I couldn’t have possibly anticipated. Well, at least now, I’m not skipping any conference panels. I’m showing up, even if I’m not paying attention.

For her part, Ashlyn had come to the decision that she was just going to ride out the wave and not worry about what happens when Ali leaves. She had wanted to call Ali the night after she dropped her off. She missed hearing her voice. She missed feeling her touch. She missed having her around, but she was pretty sure that Ali needed a bit of time to think, so she was trying to respect that. Finally, after three days, she couldn’t take it anymore, so she picked up her phone and dialed.

Ali was drinking her morning coffee on the balcony of her hotel room when her cell phone rang. She picked it up, and instantly her heart started thumping louder. She let it ring a few more times, and then she answered.

“Hello?” Ali tried to make it sound like she didn’t know who was calling.

“Hi stranger”, Ashlyn said cheerfully, ignoring the generic greeting.

“Heyyyy you.”

“I’m glad we exchanged numbers. I don’t know if I would have ever seen you or spoken to you again,” Ashlyn joked.

“Well, we found each other three times before, so maybe it would have happened again”, Ali said.

“Well, I’m glad we didn’t have to leave that to chance.”

“Me too.”

“So, um, how have you been?” Ashlyn asked.

“I’ve been…good, um…busy with the conference, now that I’ve actually been attending. How are you?”

“Good. Well, actually, not so good. I’ve missed you.” Ashlyn paused, and when she didn’t hear Ali say anything, she kept going. “There. I said it. Look, I know you wanted to talk more the last time we saw each other, and I wanted to say things, but the words stuck in my throat, so I distracted you with sex instead, and I’m sorry. Well, not about having sex, but I’m sorry for not communicating verbally with you. So, I did some thinking, and I realized that your trip is like halfway over, so I’m just going to say what I feel from now on. I’ve missed you, and the last three days have sucked without you.”

Ali laughed. She wanted to continue their conversation from a few days ago, but she wanted to do it in person, so she just said, “I’ve missed you too. So much. I kept looking at my phone, waiting for you to call or text.”

“Awww, I would have. I thought you needed space to think, and I know I did. It’s like, after our last conversation, things kind of got more serious. At least that’s what I felt, and we’ve been pretty synched up so far, so I figured that maybe you felt that too.”

“I did. And I did need space. But still, a part of me just wanted you to hit me up.”

“Well, I’m doing that now. What are you doing today?” Ashlyn asked.

“Well, I was going to go to some panels at the conference, and then maybe hit the beach and read a book.”

“I want you to spend the day with me. I want to give you a driving tour around the island. We can stop at some sights along the way, buy some fresh food from the roadside stands, and then we can make dinner tonight. We can have dinner in your hotel room if you want. I think that kitchen in there should work.”

And just like that, Ali thought, there goes my perfect conference attendance for the rest of the trip. “Okay, that sounds wonderful. I love to cook.”

“Well that works out well. I like to eat”, Ashlyn said and laughed. Ali laughed as well, and then Ashlyn said, “Okay, I’m at the fish auction right now, near the marina. John John and I took Malia out yesterday and caught some mahi mahi and some ono, so we’re trying to sell them for money. I can be by in an hour.”

“Okay, sounds good.”

“Okay, see you soon”, Ashlyn said.

“Okay, bye.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

“Again with this! Stop saying bye already!” Ashlyn feigned irritation. Ali laughed and hung up.

 

********

 

Ali came down to the lobby an hour later. Ashlyn was already waiting for her by the curb. She’s early, Ali thought. Ashlyn was standing by the passenger side door instead of behind the wheel. Ali picked up her pace as she saw Ashlyn, but then slowed down a bit. What happens now? Do we kiss? Are we still doing stuff? What’s going on with us? She flashed back to the morning they first went surfing together, when she wasn’t sure how to greet Ashlyn when Ashlyn had come to pick her up. She was almost to Ashlyn and hadn’t made up her mind yet, when Ashlyn took three steps forward and planted a kiss on Ali’s lips.

“Hey, beautiful”, Ashlyn said. She kept her lips on Ali’s and wrapped her arms around Ali’s neck.

Ali returned the kiss. It was nice to hear Ashlyn call her ‘beautiful’. It’s funny, Ali thought as they were kissing. I wouldn’t have been so bold, but now that Ashlyn took the initiative, I’m so glad she did, because this just feels right. They kissed for a few more seconds, and then Ali broke the kiss. “Hey”, she said back to Ashlyn, a little out of breath.

“I needed that”, Ashlyn said and smiled.

“Me too.” Ali smiled back.

“It feels like forever since I’ve kissed you.”

“I know. Me too.”

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” Ali looked at Ashlyn. “You’re, like, early. What’s up with that?” She joked.

“I know. I guess, maybe, I just wanted to make a good impression after the last few days”, Ashlyn said and smiled. She looked down to grab Ali’s hands. “You’re wearing my zoris”, she said and smiled again.

“I thought you bought them for me.”

“You know what I mean.”

Ali laughed. “I’ve worn them every day since you got them for me.”

“Even to your conference?”

“Yeah. One day I actually did. I went causal. Guess I’m picking up some island style tips from you.”

Ashlyn laughed and then leaned in to kiss Ali again. “So, are you ready?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright, well, hop on in.” Ashlyn opened the door for Ali. She faked going for the Dukes Of Hazard Slide again and instead winked at Ali, walked around the front and got in. Ali laughed. It’s like we haven’t been apart at all, Ali thought. Ashlyn hit the gas and off they went. They took the H1 freeway west and then went up the H2 freeway towards Haleiwa, the gateway town to Oahu’s famous north shore. Ali laughed about how there are a total of three expressways in all of Hawaii, and they are called H1, H2 and H3. Ashlyn countered with the fact that Ali called them 'expressways', and said the proper term is 'freeways'. They alternated between jockeying back and forth on that and admiring the scenery.

“Whoooaaaa”, Ali said, as she looked out the front windshield. They had passed Wahiawa, the small town on the top of the middle of the island, and were now descending down towards Haleiwa and the rest of the north shore. The trees that had lined the road disappeared as they passed the Dole Plantation, and now a panoramic view of the north shore spread out before them. Ashlyn smiled at Ali, who sat transfixed in the passenger seat.

“This is one of the best views on the island”, Ashlyn said. “You like?”

“It’s…breathtaking”, Ali said.

“Better than the views when we were fishing or surfing?”

“I don’t know...I love them all.”

Ashlyn smiled and guided the car down into Haleiwa. “Welcome to the north shore, beautiful”, she said to Ali. “Does it look like the north shore near you?”

“Uh…no. Not at all. Very different.”

Ashlyn was going to ask Ali to describe the north shore where she lived, but then realized it may bring up the discussion of her visiting Chicago, so she let it pass. They continued clockwise along the Kamehameha Highway, stopping at various points along the way. Ashlyn pointed out the surfing breaks that made the north shore famous – Haleiwa, Waimea, Pipeline, Sunset. She explained the yearly calendar of the waves and how they started to die down in the spring but picked up again in the late fall and would reach monstrous proportions during the winter. She talked about the factors that contributed to creating these crushing walls of liquid – the direction from which the swell came, the structure and topography of ocean floor, the winds and tide. Ali listened, enjoying Ashlyn’s enthusiasm as much as she was learning about the actual mechanics. They rounded Turtle Bay on the northernmost point of the island and then stopped at a shrimp truck for lunch.

“This place makes the best shrimp on the island”, Ashlyn proclaimed. She ordered and paid for both her and Ali, and the two of them sat next to each other and ate at a picnic bench next to the truck.

“Oh my God, this is soooo good”, Ali said.

“Yeah, they mix this spicy sauce and garlic and Maui onion in, and it’s really yummy.” She took another bite and then looked at Ali. “I’m glad you like.”

Ali looked back at Ashlyn. “I do like", Ali said, imitating Ashlyn's pidgin. "And I like even more that we’re doing something together today.” She leaned in and kissed Ashlyn on the lips.

“You taste like garlic”, Ashlyn said and laughed.

“Oh, you love it. Like you taste any better”, Ali countered. “I think I taste Spam on you as well”, she joked, and Ashlyn nudged Ali’s shoulder with her own. They finished up lunch, and Ashlyn picked up an extra pound of shrimp to go and put it in a cooler in her back seat.

“See that?” Ashlyn said as she pointed to the cooler. “I brought a cooler for the shrimp for tonight’s dinner. I planned for today. You’re rubbing off on me.” Ali laughed, but thought, first Ashlyn was early to pick me up, and now she’s planning ahead. Does that mean something? If so, what? They got back in the car and continued their journey around the island, stopping at the various food stands that dotted the roadside to pick up ingredients for their dinner - mango, mixed greens, tomatoes, Maui onions, papaya, pineapple, and a local-made sesame-soy dressing. They continued to round the island. Ali marveled at how close the road was to the water in certain areas. It was almost as if a rogue wave came, it could sweep them into the sea, car and all. They continued on for a bit more, and then Ashlyn pulled off on one of those water-close-to-road areas just past Chinaman’s Hat.

“C’mon,” Ashlyn said to Ali. She grabbed a towel and got out of the car, and Ali followed. Ashlyn took Ali’s hand and led her onto the beach. They walked hand in hand down an open stretch for a bit and then ducked into an alcove.

“This is my beach”, Ashlyn said.

“Your beach, babe?” Ali asked, and Ashlyn registered that, for the first time in four days, Ali had called her ‘babe’.

“Well, I mean, I don’t own it, smartass, but I come here sometimes, and no one’s ever here, except for me. And now you.” She smiled at Ali.

Ali smiled back, and then looked around. The alcove was surrounded by short cliffs and an overhang, obscuring it from the road. The half moon curve of the beach protected the water from wind and waves, and the view was of nothing but calm, sparkling turquoise blue water. Ali sighed and smiled. This may well be the most peaceful place I have had ever been, she thought. She closed her eyes, breathed in deep, and exhaled. When she opened her eyes, Ashlyn was standing right in front of her.

“Do you like this place?” Ashlyn asked Ali as she took Ali's hands in her own. She almost sounded nervous, Ali thought.

“It’s…beautiful”, Ali said. She had wanted to come up with a better word, but that’s about as good as she could come up with right now.

Ashlyn moved a bit closer to Ali and looked right into her eyes. “This is my special place. I come here by myself…to get away, to think, to be alone…and…I’ve never brought anyone here”, she said.

“W-w-why did you bring me?” Ali asked, her breath starting to hitch.

“Because…you’re…special…to…me…” Ashlyn said, and with that, she pushed her lips against Ali’s, and her arms went around Ali’s neck. Ali returned the kiss, grabbed Ashlyn’s waist, and the two women fell to the sand.

 

********

 

Ali and Ashlyn arrived back at Ali’s hotel room after dark. After they had made love on Ashlyn’s secret beach, they had gone skinny dipping and then laid out on the towel, Ashlyn on her back, Ali laying her head on Ashlyn’s chest. A few hours after, they were back in the car, heading towards Ali’s hotel. They had caught a sunset from the cliffs near Ashlyn’s house in Hawaii Kai, and now they were in Ali’s hotel room, maxing out the small kitchen as they prepared what Ashlyn had named “Ali’s Island Salad” – mixed greens, shrimp, mango, Maui onion, and tomatoes, tossed with the local-made sesame-soy dressing they had bought. Ali had insisted that Ashlyn not help, to repay Ashlyn for the island tour, so Ashlyn sat on the couch, admiring Ali as she prepared their dinner.

“Mmmm…this is like the best salad I’ve ever had”, Ali said, as they ate at the small dining table in the living area.

“I know, it’s so good, right?”

“You’re lucky. You can have this anytime you want.”

“I can, but it tastes better with you.” Ashlyn smiled at her. “Everything’s better with you.” Ali blushed a bit. Here we go again, she thought, as her head started to spin with emotions.

Ashlyn smiled at Ali and said, “I had a lovely day with you.”

Ali smiled back. “Me too. Thank you for sharing your secret beach with me.”

“No, thank you for sharing your secret beach with me”, Ashlyn joked crudely.

“Jesus, babe. Really?”

Ashlyn laughed. “No, seriously, I’m glad we could spend the day together. I missed you.”

“Me too. I’ve missed you as well”, Ali said.

“You know, it’s funny”, Ashlyn continued, “When we first started hanging out, we both said that it felt like we’d been hanging out forever, even thought it had only been a few days. Unfortunately, I guess the same felt true when we were away from each other the last few days. It really felt like forever as well.”

“I know”, Ali agreed. She paused and then asked, “What do you think that means?”

“I don’t know. Maybe it means that…I don’t know.” Ashlyn took a deep breath and then said. “Maybe it means that we’re, like, supposed to be together…or something…” she trailed off. That was a little deeper than she had wanted to go, but she had made the decision that she was going to make an effort to communicate verbally, so even if nothing further came out of this whole thing, she had at least done that and would have no regrets over not saying something she should have said.

Ali considered that and then smiled slightly. “God, sometimes I just wish there was someone or something to just tell you what to do, you know? This is like one of those times.”

“I know. This is confusing. I mean, it’s been awesome, and the last week and a half has been like the best week and a half of my life, but this is confusing for sure”, Ashlyn said. She paused for a moment and then looked right at Ali. “I missed you”, she said again and then sighed, “but I understand that a bit of time apart was good for us. I know we started fast, so…I guess we both needed some time alone to think about stuff…”

“And…?” Ali asked. “Did you do some thinking?”

“I did”, Ashlyn said.

“And…? What did you think about?”

“I’ve decided that I will be open to talking whenever either one of us wants to talk, but that it’s probably best to just enjoy the time we have together and let whatever happens happen – you know, ride out the wave and not worry about what happens after you leave”, Ashlyn said. Saying that last part made her cringe inside. “You?”

“I agree with the talking part. We should always talk. If something is important to one of us, then it should be important to both of us.” Ali paused and then said, “As far as just riding the wave and not worrying about the future…well, I don’t know. I mean, I’ll give it a try. It’s not natural for me to do that, like it seems to be for you, and I wish I was able to do that sometimes, but I’ll try.” She looked at Ashlyn with a smile of resolve.

Ashlyn nodded. “I think that maybe just enjoying the time together that we have now and not worrying about the future is the best plan.’ She paused as if thinking hard and then said. “I mean, I guess you can think of it like this – if something were to happen to either one of us, wouldn’t we want to know that we made the most of our time together?” Ali face dropped. “Beautiful, I don’t mean to sound negative, but do you know what I mean?”

“I do, and I get your point.”

“So, maybe let’s just enjoy our time together, and just see what happens.”

“Okay”, Ali said. “I’ll try my best to not worry about the future. But”, she said, and then looked right at Ashlyn, “I would like you to come visit me in Chicago.” She wanted to start that sentence with, “If you don’t end up coming back with me in a week and a half…”, but the words stuck in her throat.

“Okay”, Ashlyn said and smiled.

They ate the mango and pineapple for dessert on Ali’s balcony and then spent the rest of the night on one of the large recliners, staring out into the water. Ali sat down first, and Ashlyn snuggled into her. About an hour later, Ali realized that Ashlyn has fallen asleep. She kissed the top of Ashlyn’s head and gently stroked her hair. How is it that this is so damn hard? Ali thought. I’ve known this woman for less than 2 weeks. On paper this should be just a fun vacation romance, with no strings attached. How is it that I am just so drawn and feel such a powerful connection to this person, even though I’ve only known her for such a short period of time? Ali mulled this over as Ashlyn purred slightly in her sleep. Maybe it’s because you only meet someone once, and you don’t pick the time or the place, Ali thought. It just happens however it does, and when it does, maybe you just have to jump on it, no matter what logic or reality tells you. Ali wished she could just go with that. She had told Ashlyn that she would try to just go with the flow, but as she closed her eyes, she couldn’t shake the feeling that that wasn’t going to work for her, and unless she could secure a future for this relationship soon, she was going to end up hurt.


	10. Chapter 10

For the next few days, Ali and Ashlyn continued to spend time together, but they both felt like things were different. They still had fun with each other and enjoyed each others company, but they were a bit more distant, a bit more removed from each other, as if they were slowly weaning themselves from each other in anticipation of Ali’s departure.

Ashlyn was laying in her bed. She had woken up early and was unable to fall back to sleep. The morning light streamed through her window. I told Ali that from now on I would not be afraid to talk about things, she thought, but why is it so hard to say the truth? I danced around it when we talked at my place, and I wanted to say it when we spoke at Ali’s hotel room a few days ago, but the words still stuck in my throat. I don’t want to lose her, but there’s nothing I can do about it. As much as I might want to move to be with her, I just can’t, and she’s made it clear that she can’t just move here. I guess I’ll just do what I’ve done my whole life since I got here - just see where this goes, she thought. She was continuing her thinking along that line when her phone rang.

“Hey beautiful”, she answered.

“Hey you”, Ali said. “So, I was thinking that maybe we could cook dinner at your place tonight.”

“Okay. What time do you want me to pick you up?” Ashlyn asked.

“Actually, I got a car”, Ali said. “I had to rent one for the day for work”.

“Oh, okay. Do you remember how to get here?”

“Can you just text me the address? I’ll map it.”

“Okay, I will as soon as we hang up.”

“I can be by around 7”, Ali said. “Do you need me to bring anything?”

Ashlyn got out of bed. “No, I got stuff. I have some fish and veggies and rice and some fruit”, she said, rummaging around the fridge.

“Sounds good to me. We can make that work.”

“Okay, beautiful. See you tonight.”

“Okay, bye.” Ali hung up. Ashlyn put her phone back down. She laid back down in her bed and thought some more, and then she realized something. Ali hadn’t called her ‘babe’ once.

 

********

 

Ali and Ashlyn were sitting at Ashlyn’s kitchen table.

“This is so good”, Ashlyn said. Ali had made them sautéed ahi tuna steaks, herbed rice and a fruit salad for dinner.

“I’m glad you like it”, Ali said.

“You’re an amazing cook, beautiful. I don’t think anything quite this good has ever come out of this kitchen.” Ashlyn smiled at Ali, and then said “I’m glad you’re here”.

“You are?” Ali asked.

“Of course.” Ashlyn looked up, a bit alarmed. “Why wouldn’t I be?” Ali didn’t respond, so Ashlyn said, “Beautiful, what’s wrong?”

“I wish we could always do this”, Ali sighed.

“Do what?”

“Cook dinner together. Have dinner together.”

Ashlyn smiled. “Me too.” She took another bite and then looked at Ali, who was staring at her plate with sad eyes. “Hey, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay. It’s just that, the thought of not being able to do this with you all the time reminds me that I am leaving soon.”

Ashlyn finished chewing and then put her fork down. She took a deep breath and then looked at Ali. “Ali, talk to me. Something’s wrong. I can tell. What are you thinking about?” Ali didn’t respond, so Ashlyn said, “Look, I know you want to talk about things, and even though I don’t as much, I guess we should. I know we kinda talked a few nights ago, but let’s be honest – I’m pretty sure we both held back. So, we can talk about what’s happening between us, and where you see this going. Plus, you know what? You haven’t called me 'babe' once today. Not on the phone, and not since you got here for dinner, while I’ve called you ‘beautiful’ repeatedly. So, I want to know what you are thinking.”

Ali put down her fork and looked at Ashlyn. “I like you. A lot. I feel like, ever since I first saw you, I’ve been drawn to you, and now, I can’t…it's almost like I can’t imagine my life without you.”

Ashlyn exhaled and looked at Ali. “I feel the same way. When I saw you as I was paddling in at Magic Island…I felt instantly drawn to you, like I had to know you. I was hoping you would come over when I got out of the water and introduce yourself to me. I feel it too, Ali. It’s like, we have this intense connection, and I just can’t explain it, and I can’t help that I’m drawn to you.”

Ali was silent for a moment. She wanted to ask a question, and she didn’t quite know how to work up to it, so she just came out with it. “Ash, I want to ask you something, and I don’t really know how to work up to asking it, so I’m just going to come out with it." Ali took a deep breath, looked right at Ashlyn, and said, "I know you go with the flow more than I do, right? Would you…would you consider moving to Chicago to be with me?”

Ashlyn stared at Ali, and Ali thought, holy shit, did I totally overstep the boundary here?

Ashlyn was silent for a moment longer and then asked, “Why don’t you move here? I mean, couldn’t you do that? Move here and still work your job, with all your digital technology?”

“You would think, right? Ali said. "But unfortunately, even with all of this technology, I still can’t just up and move at the drop of a hat.”

“Okay, so, where does that leave us?” Ashlyn asked.

“Would you consider moving to Chicago with me?” Ali asked again.

“I don’t know…” Ashlyn trailed off.

“Well, then I don’t know where this leaves us”, Ali said. “I mean, I know this whole thing is kind of crazy, and I get that we just can’t move across the world for each other, but I also know that I just don’t want to give this up. I mean, I have everything in my life, but I don’t have this. I’ve never felt anything like this before, like what I feel when I’m with you.”

“How do you know it’s not just island love?” Ashlyn asked. “A fantasy that will die once you leave?”

“Don’t you feel the connection?” Ali fired back. “You said you felt it, too.”

“Of course I do. I already told you that. Like I said, I was hoping you would come up to me at the beach the first day I saw you, and then, when I saw you at Sidestreet, the whole time I was eating dinner, all I wanted to do was look over at you and stare at you. I don’t know. I mean, like you said, this whole thing is crazy.” Ashlyn paused and then retreated. “I don’t know, maybe we shouldn’t even be talking like this.”

“Ash – you said you would be open to talking, remember? And I want to talk about this. I have feelings for you, and I know you have feelings for me, so we should talk about them. We agreed we would talk if one of us wanted to talk, and we agreed to say things if we wanted to say them and not hold back.”  
“I guess I’m open to talking, but why do we need to?” Ashlyn said, her voice rising a bit. “Why do we need to talk about feelings just because we have them? Why can’t we just enjoy the last week you are here, without worrying? You said you would be open to just seeing how things go. Why can’t we just ride the wave and not ruin anything?”

“Because I’m on that wave too!” Ali suddenly snapped. She stood up. “And I want to know what’s going to happen. I can’t read the water, and I need you to help me, just like you showed me when you taught me how to surf.”

Ashlyn remained quiet. Ali lowered her voice but kept going.

“Ashlyn, I can’t continue with this if I don’t know if it’s going to continue after I leave. I’ve been trying to convince myself to just go with the flow, but I just can’t. I’m falling for you, and I can’t fucking help it, and if we keep going the way we are without a plan for after I leave, then I’m going to get hurt.”

“Pain’s just a part of life, Ali”, Ashlyn said matter-of-factly. “Things happen, and you just deal with it and move on. We should just enjoy the time we have together while we have it.”

“Really, Ash? And is that what you’ve been doing? Moving on? Hiding out here, a million miles away? How’s that working out for you?”

“I was doing fine before you came here!” Ashlyn raised her voice and stood up. Ali took a step back, mouth open, deep hurt on her face.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.” Ashlyn said.

Ali looked down. When she looked back up, there were tears in her eyes. “Take the chance with me, Ashlyn. Please. Stay with me. Just like you asked me in the car before we went fishing, I’m now asking you. Stay with me. Be with me. Move to Chicago, so we can be together.”

Ashlyn remained silent, so Ali continued on.

“Try it. Move with me. What do you have to lose? If it doesn’t work between us, you can come back here. I will cover all expenses. If it does work between us but you don’t like it there, then we can discuss options. We can move somewhere else if things go that way and once I can figure out a plan for that, but we will be together.”

“I don’t know. I mean, I can’t just pick up and move, Ali. My life is here.”

Ali looked around Ashlyn’s apartment. “We can move all of this. You don’t have much.”

Ashlyn flashed anger. “Oh my God, you didn’t just say that.”

“No wait, Ash. That came out wrong. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“No, I get it”, Ashlyn said, her voice rising again. “I don’t have much. I’m the poor little island girl. You can come rescue me, whisk me back to civilization with you, like a cute little souvenir that you pick up at the ABC Store next to your plush hotel on your vacation.”

Ali says “Look, I said I’m sorry, and I meant it. You know I don’t see you like that. I want you to move with me because I want to be with you. I’ve never felt with anyone else before what I do with you, and I want a future with you. And, I don’t mean to sound like a broken record, but again, I can’t just move here, at least not right now, but if you can move, then we can be together. Think about what we have and what we could have. I know you feel for me what I feel for you. We may not both want to talk about our feelings, but I know we both feel it. Don’t you think it’s worth the chance, to see where this could go? We may never find this ever again.” Ali’s voice was rising again.

Ashlyn was quiet, then said softly, “I don’t know…”

“Well what do you know?” Ali yelled. She was tired of Ashlyn saying ‘I don’t know’. She didn’t like yelling, but she was frustrated with not being able to get the truth out of Ashlyn. Her frustration boiled over and she couldn’t hold it in any longer. “God damn it, Ashlyn. You keep saying ‘I don’t know’. Tell me what you do know. What’s holding you back? I mean, you’re the adventurous one out of the two of us, right? Miss 'I-go-with-the-flow'. I figured you’d have no problem moving anywhere, but it’s like you’re so hesitant to even just come to visit me in Chicago. I know you finally said you would, but I also know that you agreed to that just to make me happy. So, what’s the fucking problem? What is it that makes you so damn reluctant to set foot off this island?”

“Because I’m afraid!” Ashlyn yelled. “Okay? Is that what you want to hear?”

“What…? Ash-“ Ali began, but Ashlyn cut her off.

“I’m afraid of being hurt again!” Ashlyn yelled. “There, I just said it. And I’ll fucking say it again. I’m afraid of being hurt again!” She had been fighting to hold tears back, and she couldn’t hold them in any longer. They came flooding out of her eyes. “Losing my parents was the worst thing that has ever happened to me, and I’m afraid that if I set foot on that fucking continent again, then all of the pain that I left there will come rushing back. I’m afraid that going back there will remind me of their deaths. I mean, I don’t even like looking at Florida on a map. What’s it going to be like if I go back to the mainland? I have been hiding here for fifteen years, and I’ve finally gotten to a point where all the pain in my life has gone away. I can finally look at my aunt and not immediately break down and cry because she reminds me of the mom that I lost. That’s why I live here in this shack, Ali. Because I couldn’t stand to see my aunt day in and day out, because she reminded me of my mom. And I can’t afford to live anywhere else. It’s fucking expensive here, and I don’t have a high-powered job, like you. And you know what? I know I came out here to Hawaii because I didn’t have a choice, but I grew to love it here. This place is beautiful, and it's far away, and I’m finally pain free. And then you came along, and all of a sudden that possibility of opening myself up and then being hurt again started knocking on my door.” Ashlyn looked down and then looked up. “I’m falling for you, Ali. I’m falling for you, and I’ve never fallen like this for anyone before. And I’m scared of what will happen if we try this and it doesn’t work. I don’t think I can take any more heartbreak in my life. I’ve already lost two people I love, and if I move back to the mainland and this doesn’t work, then I will have lost three people I love, and if we move back to the mainland and then break up, and being on the mainland brings back all of the old, painful memories of my parents’ deaths, then I might just buy a gun and fucking shoot myself!”

“Ashlyn!” Ali implored. “Don’t ever talk like that!”

Ashlyn stood silent, shaking, tears pouring down her cheeks. Ali stood there, mouth open, staring at Ashlyn. So there it was. Ali had figured that the death of Ashlyn’s parents was a contributing factor to why Ashlyn was hesitant to visit the mainland, but she never realized just how much it had influenced her. That, and Ashlyn’s admission of how intense her feelings were for Ali, had Ali reeling. Ali tried to focus and she reached for Ashlyn. Ashlyn recoiled.

“Ash, I understand your pain, and I definitely understand your feelings for me, since I feel them for you. But, you can’t stay afraid. You can’t just bottle up pain and tuck it away.“

“Don’t…fucking…lecture…me...Ali.” Ashlyn was still shaking.

“I’m not lecturing you, Ashlyn. I’m telling you from my heart how I feel. You can’t refuse to take chances just because things haven’t worked out in the past. Like you told me, pain sucks, but it’s part of life. What you and I have is worth taking a chance on. You know it, and I know it. I mean, would you shy away from riding a wave you’ve never ridden before, just because you didn’t know where it would take you or how the ride would go?"

Ashlyn was silent for a minute, and then said. “I don’t know. I just don’t know. I mean, this thing, whatever we have going on here…it’s safe here, it’s safe if it never leaves this island, and even just talking about continuing it after you leave just makes it seem so much more real-”

“Come on, Ashlyn!” Ali cut her off, exasperated. She was at the end of her rope. "Don’t you want to ride this wave with me and see where it goes?”

“I…don’t…know”, Ashlyn said, slowly and quietly. Tears were still falling from her eyes and running down her face.

Ali’s sighed, and her shoulders dropped. She was silent for a moment, and then said, “Then I don’t know, either. But I do know this: When we were on our first date, and I was talking about security as the most important thing in my life, I wasn’t just talking about financial security. I want to be emotionally secure as well. That means protecting my heart as well as my financial future. I can’t not do that." Ali looked down, took a deep breath and then looked up. “I need to know if you're in this with me".

Ashlyn stared at the ground, and then looked up. She looked into Ali's eyes, and in a voice that was barely more than a whisper, said, "I…just…can't."

Ali stared back at her for a moment. Hurt and tears filled her face, and when she spoke, her voice was trembling. "Then I can’t keep seeing you if nothing’s going to happen with this.” She paused again, and then said, “We’re done, Ashlyn.”

Ashlyn just stood there. Tears were pouring down her cheeks. Ali wiped a tear from her own eye and then approached Ashlyn and pressed their lips together for one last kiss.

“Goodbye, Ashlyn Harris”, Ali said, and then turned around and walked out.


	11. Chapter 11

“Keiki”?

Ashlyn heard knocking and then heard the door to her cottage open. She never locked her door. She grabbed another tissue and dabbed her puffy eyes.  
“Keiki”? Christie said as she walked in. She saw Ashlyn lying in her bed, curled up in the fetal position. “Are you okay? I haven’t seen you in three days. I got worried when you didn’t come in last night for our usual Sunday dinner, and I-“ She stopped talking when she got closer and saw Ashlyn's face, eyes puffy and nose red. She looked as though she had been crying for days. Tissues littered the floor near her bed. Christie sat down on the bed next to her. She wasn’t exactly sure of what had happened, but she had a pretty good idea. “Awww, keiki”, she said, as she stroked Ashlyn’s hair. Ashlyn continued to sob quietly.

“Do you want to talk?” Christie asked. Seeing Ashlyn like this made her heart wrench. She hadn’t seen her like this in 15 years, ever since Ashlyn's parents had died. Christie had never had children of her own, and Ashlyn had become her only child. She loved her niece dearly, and it killed her to see Ashlyn so upset.

“She left me”, Ashlyn squeaked out.

“Awww, keiki. I’m so sorry.”

“I thought she would stay here with me”, Ashlyn said.

Christie just stroked Ashlyn’s hair and gave her niece a sincere look of pity.

“I just don’t understand why she can’t stay with me”, Ashlyn said, sniffling.

Christie continued to stroke Ashlyn’s hair in silence for a minute and then said, “Can I ask you something, keiki?”

Ashlyn nodded her head slightly.

“If you were visiting her in Chicago, and she asked you to stay for her, would you?”

“I don’t know”, Ashlyn mumbled.

“And, as things are now, if she asked you to move Chicago to be with her, would you?”

Ashlyn was silent for a moment and then said, “She did ask me.”

“She did?” Christie was surprised. That’s a big ask. Whatever is happening between these two may be more serious than she had thought. “And?”

“I said I couldn’t.”

“Why did you say that, keiki?” Christie continued to stroke Ashlyn’s hair soothingly.

“Because…I don’t think I can put myself out there and risk being hurt again”, Ashlyn said.

“And did you tell her that?”

“Kind of.”

“What do you mean, ‘kind of’, Keiki?”

“I told her that I was afraid to go back to the mainland because I was afraid that if I went back, it would open up the pain that I left back there of losing my parents.” 

“And is that true?”

“It is true, but it’s not the only reason. I mean, I am afraid that if I go back to the mainland it will trigger painful memories of my parents…” Ashlyn trailed off.

“But...” Christie prompted.

“I’m also afraid of opening myself up to the possibility of feeling that much pain again, like if I move to Chicago to be with her and things don’t work out.” Ashlyn sniffled. “I just can’t take that chance.”

Christie and Ashlyn sat in silence for a minute, and then Christie spoke. “You know, keiki, I remember seeing you the day you met her. I was unloading groceries in the driveway, and you were leaving to go surfing at Magic Island. The next time I saw you must have been like four days later. You looked totally different. You were so radiant. Your face was glowing. You looked so happy. You looked happier than I’ve ever seen you before, and wouldn’t stop talking about her, remember? And, when you brought her to dinner last week, you looked even happier, if that was even possible.”

Ashlyn was still curled up, eyes down. Christie looked at Ashlyn and lifted her chin so Ashlyn was looking at her.

“Keiki, that kind of happiness is a rarity in life, and someone like Ali may only come along once in your lifetime. Look, I understand how great the pain of losing your parents was. I felt it too. Your mother was my older sister. She was my best friend, and my role model. And I liked your father as well. I still feel it. But you know, you can’t be afraid to take chances just because you’ve been hurt before. You of all people should know that. Hope says you still surf 20-foot waves, even though you've taken some bad spills before. That takes courage. You should apply that courage to your personal life.” Christie looked at Ashlyn and cupped Ashlyn’s cheek in her hand. “You may have found true love, Keiki. I never did, but you have. You should take the chance. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. And I know you hate feeling like you’re being lectured, but I am going to take that chance right now." Christie paused for a second and then said, "I think you should move to Chicago with her."

Ashlyn didn’t say anything, so Christie continued.

“Let me ask you something - would you move with her if you weren’t afraid of the possibility of things not working out and you ending up hurt?”  
Ashlyn nodded slowly.

“Well, then if that is what you would do if you weren’t afraid of getting hurt, then you should do it. You can’t not try because you’re scared, keiki. Look, I know you still harbor a lot of pain over what happened to your parents, and I know you’ve finally managed to leave it all behind, living out here, but think of it this way: even if going back to the mainland does bring out some painful memories of your parents, if things work out with Ali, don’t you think it would be worth it?"

“Maybe”

“Not maybe. It would be, keiki. You know, this could be the start of something wonderful, something so positive that it overshadows that pain you’ve experienced in your life. This could be the kind of thing that is so powerful in such a good way that you won’t have to hide from your pain or bottle it up anymore."

Ashlyn continued to lay curled up in her bed. Christie leaned down and kissed her forehead. “I love you, keiki, and I will always be here for you. But, that doesn’t mean that you have to always stay here, with me." Christie paused and then said, “I think you will regret it forever if you don’t try with Ali.” She paused again and then said, "And, if it doesn't work out, you can always come back." Christie smiled. "The island will always be here for you. As will I." She stood up. “I’m going to visit tutu grandma this evening for dinner. You can join me if you’d like. It might do you some good to get out for a bit and have some dinner with us. I’ll leave that up to you.” Christie leaned over to stroke Ashlyn’s hair one more time, kissed her on the forehead, and then left the cottage.

 

********

 

Ali was glad she had brought a car to Ashlyn’s that night. She had lied about needing it for work. She had wanted it for a fallback. She had planned on having the talk with Ashlyn that night, and she had wanted to have the talk at Ashlyn’s place. She had thought about having the talk in her hotel room, but she had decided that Ashlyn’s place would be a better bet, so just in case it didn’t end well, she wouldn’t have to picture how it went down in her hotel room for the rest of her stay. After she had decided to have the talk at Ashlyn’s, she had rented a car just in case things didn’t go well and she needed to escape. As it turns out, the car and the decision to have the talk at Ashlyn’s had proven to be a smart idea. Their talk ranked up there with the shittiest conversations she’d ever had. After she had left Ashlyn’s cottage, Ali had driven back to her hotel, crying the whole way home. She had arrived back to her hotel room and had curled up on the bed and cried some more.

How had she gotten herself into this mess? She had been so stupid, thinking that there was even the slightest chance that they had a future together. She couldn’t stay here even if she wanted to, and it was ridiculous to even think that Ashlyn would have ever considered moving across the world to be with her. It was just a stupid island fantasy, and it had been all along. She had blown it up in her head into something that it wasn’t and could never be. Why couldn’t I have just seen this for what it was, nothing more than a vacation romance? Ali thought. That’s all it ever was. Now I’m devastated, and it’s all because I couldn’t manage my expectations and keep my emotions under control.

After taking a full day off to spend time alone in her hotel room, Ali spent the next few days trying to get back to life without Ashlyn. She attended conference panels. She went jogging. She ate out at restaurants. She did everything that she would have done had she not met Ashlyn. Yet, no matter what she did or where she went, there was always something that reminded Ali of her beautiful island ex-girlfriend. Ali would envision Ashlyn in the water on her board as she jogged along the beach. She would envision Ashlyn in her car ready to pick Ali up in the hotel lobby when she came back from her conference panels. She would envision Ashlyn sitting across the table from her and sharing the meal whenever she went out to eat. Ali couldn’t enjoy any of her activities without thinking about Ashlyn, and she found herself once again constantly checking her phone, hoping for a call or message from Ashlyn. Oh well, Ali thought. It was never going to work. Best to think of the whole thing like his: What goes on in Hawaii stays in Hawaii. 

 

********

 

Ashlyn and Christie exited their car in the parking lot of Kahala Nui, a retirement community about ten minutes from their house, where Christie’s mother, Ashlyn’s grandmother, was a full-time resident. Christie came to visit her three times a week. Ashlyn’s visits were less frequent, maybe a couple times a month. In fact, Ashlyn hadn’t seen her tutu in over three weeks, and even though she really didn’t feel like leaving her cottage today, part of the reason she went was because she was feeling a bit guilty about not having visited for so long.

Now in her early eighties, Ashlyn’s tutu was barely hanging on, both physically and mentally. She was confined to a wheelchair, and dementia had set in. She still recognized Christie, and most of the time she recognized Ashlyn, but beyond that there wasn’t much else. She barely spoke and almost never registered anything that was spoken to her.

Christie and Ashlyn walked through the front door of the retirement community and headed towards the lanai garden in the back of the building. Christie usually brought a cooler of food with her, and they would eat in the garden next to the koi pond. Tutu seemed to like it there. Christie handed Ashlyn the cooler and told her to grab a table while she went to grab tutu from her room. Ashlyn found a table, sat down, and lost herself in thought looking at the fish in the koi pond. I wish I could be one of them, she thought. Free of pain. I could just spend all my life in the water and not have to worry about a thing.  
“Keiki, we’re here.” Christie’s voice brought Ashlyn back to the present. She looked up and saw Christie wheeling tutu over to the table. Ashlyn smiled and got up to greet tutu. She always kissed tutu on the cheek. Normally tutu just smiled faintly and remained silent, but as Ashlyn approached her this time, tutu’s face lit up.

“You’re different”, tutu said, her voice raspy and barely above a whisper, as Ashlyn bent down to kiss her. That in itself was more than tutu usually said in one entire visit.

“Hi tutu”, Ashlyn said.

“You’re in love”, tutu said, and smiled uncharacteristically wide.

Ashlyn smiled faintly. “Look, tutu, I brought you some guava cake”, she said as she started to unpack the cooler of food.

“You’re in love”, tutu said again. Ashlyn just smiled as she continued unpacking the cooler.

Tutu reached out and grabbed Ashlyn’s arm, something she never did. Ashlyn stopped unpacking the cooler and looked at her.

Tutu looked back at Ashlyn. She pulled Ashlyn close and said,” True love is all that matters in this world.”

 

********

 

“Hey Kriegs!” Megan answered her phone.

“Hey Pinoe”, Ali said, addressing her best friend by her nickname.

“How’s it going? Or should I say, ‘Aloha’? Wait – where are you? Are you still in Hawaii?”

“Yeah, I’m still here. I leave tomorrow.”

“Wow, awesome! So, how’s your trip? Are you having like the best time ever? Are you sad to come back? Like, what have you been doing?”

Ali was silent, not sure how to explain everything that has been going on, so Megan said, “Hello Kriegs? Are you there?”

“Yeah, Pinoe, I’m still here. I, um…I just don’t really know where to begin.”

“Okayyyy...”, Megan said. “That’s…an unexpected response to someone asking you about your trip to Hawaii.” Megan paused and then asked, “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. Everything’s okay”, Ali said.

Megan could hear in Ali's voice that something wasn’t right. “Ali, what’s wrong?” she asked. She waited for Ali’s response, but when she thought she heard crying on the other end of the line, she said, “Ali – what’s happening? Are you alright?”

“I met someone, Megan. I met someone, and things didn’t work out, and it broke my heart.” Ali sobbed into the phone.

“Wait, what?” Megan said. “What do you mean, ‘you met someone’? You’ve been there for like three weeks.” When Ali didn’t say anything, Megan said, “Oh my God, Ali – Wh-what happened? Talk to me.”

Ali told Megan all about Ashlyn, how they met, their first date, the surfing, the fishing, the hiking, meeting Ashlyn’s family, and Ashlyn’s secret beach. She told Megan about how she had fallen head over heels for Ashlyn and how it had only been two weeks but it felt like they had spent a lifetime together. She told Megan about the growing strain of Ali’s departure that they had both felt, and then about their tearful breakup almost a week ago.

“Wow. I’m so sorry, Ali.”

“Thanks. It’s all just so…crazy. I mean, I just, I don’t know. This whole thing is just…insane. Like, I thought this shit only happened in the movies”, Ali said, still sobbing.

“So, you asked her to move back with you, and she said no?”

“Yeah, that’s pretty much it.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“I guess”, Ali said.

“Why don’t you just stay out there?”

“What?”

“I said, why don’t you just stay out there?”

“Pinoe – my job is in Chicago. My whole life is in Chicago. I can’t just not come back.”

“But the woman of your dreams is out there, where you are right now.”

“Pinoe, you’re talking about me totally upending my life and-“

“You can get another job, Ali." Megan cut her off and then continued. "Aren’t you in some kind of in-demand field? You can also get another apartment, right? You can even make new friends, although I for one would miss you if you left Chicago. But seriously, meeting someone like that…I mean, if what you say is true about how hard you both fell for each other, then meeting someone like that is like a once in a lifetime thing. Honestly, that’s like a fucking fairy tale meeting. Like you said, that’s the kind of shit that people dream about having and only see in movies. God, if I had met someone like that for me, I wouldn’t think twice. I’d do whatever it took to be with that person.”

“Seriously?” Ali asked, a bit dubious.

“Seriously. I mean, if I felt for someone the way you feel for Ashlyn, then yes – I would definitely do whatever I could to stay together.”

“Well, I don’t know. I guess you’ve got more guts than I do.”

“Kriegs – what’s the worst that could happen? You stay out there, you get a job, you see how it goes, and if it doesn’t work, you can move back. You’re obviously madly in love with this girl, and well, I mean, it’s Hawaii. It’s not like you’d have to move to Antarctica to be with her.”

“I don’t know” Ali said again. “I mean, I have so much back home. My entire life is back there.”

Megan was silent for a moment, and then said, “Let me ask you something, Ali. If your entire life is back here, then why are you crying over someone who lives over there?”


	12. Chapter 12

Ali finished packing the last of her belongings in her suitcase, save for the outfit she was going to wear on the plane tomorrow. She zipped it up, took a deep breath, and then looked around her suite one last time to make sure she had everything. Her glance fell on the small dining table, and she remembered the meal she and Ashlyn had shared after their drive around the island and their visit to Ashlyn’s special beach. She took a deep, sad breath and exhaled, then stepped out onto the balcony. She passed the bedroom, and she looked at the bed wistfully. My last night in Hawaii, she thought, and I can’t wait to leave. I have to be like the only person who’s ever thought that when they visited here. This trip sure did not turn out at all the way I thought it would. I figured it would be conference panels, some good meals, and maybe some book time on the beach. Never would I have ever guessed that I would have met someone, fallen in love, and then had my heart broken, all in under three weeks. This will be the last trip to Hawaii I ever take, she mused sadly. She looked out onto the moonlit water, and her eye caught a couple strolling along the beach. They were laughing and holding hands. Ali flashed back to the very first day when she had arrived and saw a couple walking on the beach. Her thoughts then quickly turned to Ashlyn and the night they stood together on this exact balcony, when Ali had told her how she couldn’t believe her fantasy of having someone special here had actually come true. Ali’s eyes teared up as she stared out at the beach, and she shut them tight, as if doing so would block out the memories instead of the view.

Ali’s talk with Megan earlier in the day had sent Ali off thinking again. Megan had brought up a good point, Ali thought. Why was I so hung up on a girl who lived here, when my whole life is there? What does that mean? Does that mean something? Does that mean that we’re supposed to be together? Does that mean that I should really consider giving up everything I have to be with Ashlyn? A part of Ali wanted to go out and find Ashlyn right now. She envisioned herself showing up on Ashlyn’s doorstep, or maybe tracking her down on her secret beach. She would run into Ashlyn’s arms and tell her that she was staying in Hawaii. Staying for her. That she was forsaking her whole life in Chicago – her window office at work, her luxury apartment, her family and friends - just to stay in Hawaii for her beautiful island girlfriend. Then, Ashlyn would melt into her arms and tell her how much she loved Ali and how much it meant to her that she was staying and giving up everything for her. Ali thought about how glorious their reuniting kiss would be. She pictured that scenario for a moment longer, and then a feeling of intense sadness washed over her, as she realized once again that stuff like that only happens in Hollywood.

Ali headed inside and closed the balcony door. It was 9pm. Her flight left in 12 hours. She wanted to get some sleep, but she didn’t think that sleep would be possible, so she laid down in her bed. She closed her eyes, but her mind kept swirling with thoughts. Maybe I just need to get out of this room, she thought. Maybe I should grab a drink, or just take a walk around Waikiki for a bit. She got off the bed, slipped on a pair of shoes and grabbed her purse. She opened her door to leave. And froze in her tracks.

Standing in front of her was Ashlyn, her hand up as if she was about to knock. She was wearing jeans, a black fitted T-shirt, a pair of Converse All Stars, and a black mid-weight jacket. She was carrying a backpack on her shoulder. She looked straight at Ali, her mouth open, and Ali could see heavy bags under her eyes. She looked like she hadn’t slept for a week. I guess I’m not the only one who has been taking things hard, Ali thought. She stood there and stared at Ashlyn.

“I-I-I don’t have a lot of warm clothes”, Ashlyn stammered softly. “I’m wearing all of them…and the rest of what I’m bringing…fit in this.” She held up her backpack.

Ali continued to stare.

Ashlyn looked at Ali and said, “I’m ready to go with you”. She looked down and then looked back up, and in the most vulnerable voice Ali had ever heard, said, “that is…if you…still…want me to …?”

Ali continued to stare at Ashlyn. She couldn’t believe this was actually happening. Somehow, this must be a prank. She was waiting for someone to jump out of nowhere with a camera and say “Surprise!" But no, this was happening. This was real. The girl she had fallen for was here, in the flesh, standing right in front of her. Ashlyn had come back, and she had come back to move to Chicago, so she could be with Ali. This was actually happening.

“Y-y-you would move to Chicago? F-f-for me?

Ashlyn nodded slowly.

Ali stared for a moment longer, and then a smile broke across her face. Tears of joy started flowing out of her eyes and down her cheeks. Ashlyn started crying as well, and dropped her backpack to the floor. Ali took two small steps forward until she was standing right in front of Ashlyn. She took Ashlyn’s hands in hers, and then moved her hands up Ashlyn’s arms until her hands cupped Ashlyn’s cheeks. She moved her lips about an inch from Ashlyn’s, and paused there for a moment, then pressed them against Ashlyn’s and delivered the most glorious kiss of her life. Ashlyn returned the kiss and put her arms around Ali’s waist, and they remained locked like that for over a minute. Ali broke the kiss and pulled back, tears of joy streaming down her face. Ashlyn’s face mirrored Ali’s, and she stared into Ali's eyes. Ali looked back at Ashlyn, and then cupped her cheeks in her hands once again.

“Yes”, Ali said, in a voice that was almost a whisper.

“W-w-what?” Ashlyn asked. She had forgotten the question that she had just asked Ali.

“Yes. Of course I still want you to go with me”, Ali said, still crying tears of joy.

Ashlyn smiled through her own tears of joy as she remembered what she had asked Ali. Ali smiled back, happier than she had ever been in her life.

“I love you, babe”, Ali said

“I love you too, beautiful”, Ashlyn said back.

Ali continued to look at Ashlyn for a moment longer, then she took Ashlyn by the hands and pulled her into the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End of part one...


	13. Chapter 13

“Holy shit!” Ashlyn swore from the back seat as a car swerved three lanes across the inbound Kennedy right in front of their cab. The cab driver slammed on the breaks, laid on his horn and hollered out his window.

“Welcome to Chicago, babe”, Ali said, and she felt Ashlyn’s grip tighten on her hand. They had landed about an hour ago. Ali had checked the weather when they landed. It was currently 38 degrees. In April. It had been 60 degrees the day before. Only in Chicago, Ali thought, can the temperature vary that much from day to day. Ashlyn hadn’t brought enough warm clothes, so Ali had bought her a down hoodie that said “Chicago” across the front and a pair of thick, fluffy socks from a souvenir shop in the airport. Now they were slogging their way through the tail end of rush hour morning traffic on their way to Ali’s apartment near downtown.

“God, it’s freezing here”, Ashlyn said, as she snuggled into Ali for warmth and buried her face into the front of Ali’s jacket. Ashlyn had never felt so cold. She was sitting on the driver’s side, and the driver had his window down.

“Would you wind your window up, please?” Ali asked the cab driver. The cab driver ignored her and continued talking on his phone. “It’s okay, babe. I got you”, Ali said to Ashlyn, and put her arms around. “We’ll buy you some warmer clothes tomorrow.”

“Brrrr…” Ashlyn said, shivering. “Shitty weather…crazy rude drivers…I’m already regretting my decision to move here”, she said. She looked up at Ali.  
“Don’t say that, hon. You don’t really mean that, do you?”

“No, I don’t really mean that”, Ashlyn said, as she buried her face back into Ali’s jacket. After Ashlyn had surprised Ali at the hotel, Ali had called the airlines to purchase another plane ticket. There hadn’t been one available on her current flight, so Ali pushed her flight to the next red eye and got Ashlyn a seat next to her. The flight was relatively empty, so they were able to get a row of three seats all to themselves. They lifted the arm rests between the seats, and Ali sat with her back against the window, legs stretched out along the seats. Ashlyn nestled herself between Ali’s legs, resting her head on Ali’s chest. Ashlyn had been nervous to fly. She had only been on a plane once, and that was 15 years ago, when she had moved to Hawaii. Ali was wiped out and had wanted to sleep a bit on the nine hour flight, but Ashlyn kept clutching her, so they ended up talking most of the long flight.

Ashlyn told Ali how she had cried pretty much non-stop since Ali had told her "We're done" and walked out of her cottage. She told Ali about how she had so badly wanted to take the plunge and move with Ali but just couldn’t muster the courage. She told Ali about how Christie had come into her cottage and had given her a pep talk about taking chances that are worth it, and how if things worked out between the two of them, it could be the most wonderful thing that could ever happen to Ashlyn, and powerful enough to overshadow the painful memories of her parents that she was afraid of uncovering upon returning to the mainland. She told Ali about how she had gone to visit her grandma, and how her grandma, who ordinarily didn’t say anything, told Ashlyn twice she could tell that Ashlyn was in love, and that true love is all that matters. She told Ali about, after all of that, she had sat alone in her cottage for two more days, thinking, and after a week of heartbreak, she resolved on the fact that not having Ali would be harder than taking the chance on the possibility of more emotional pain. She had remembered roughly when Ali was leaving, so she put on the warmest clothes she owned, packed the rest of what she intended to bring in her backpack, and took the bus into Waikiki. She had planned on showing up at Ali’s hotel and knocking on the door, and if Ali didn’t answer, she was going to wait outside the door until she did. As it turns out, right as she was about to knock, Ali had opened the door.

Ali echoed Ashlyn’s sentiments about the last week having been miserable. She told Ashlyn that she had been unable to do anything without thinking of her. She told Ashlyn that she had spoken to her friend Megan, and how Megan had asked Ali how it was that Ali was so upset about a girl in Hawaii when Ali kept saying that her whole life was in Chicago. Ali told Ashlyn about how she had fantasized about actually staying in Hawaii and tracking Ashlyn down, running into her arms, professing her undying love, and telling her that she would stay. Ashlyn had laughed at that and jockeyed back about the waste of plane ticket money when they could have just stayed in Hawaii after all, but she realized that, for them to be together, this really was the more feasible option for right now. Ali was set up in Chicago. It would have been a much harder move both physically and practically for her to make. Ashlyn’s major roadblocks had been emotional, and now that she had decided to make that move, there wasn’t much holding her back. Ashlyn did throw in that she still couldn’t predict if she would be happy in Chicago, but she was willing to give it a shot. Ali said she understood that possibility, and that she was just so happy that Ashlyn was taking the chance. Ali realized that Ashlyn was moving for her, not the other way around, so she needed to be there for Ashlyn as much as possible. She reminded Ashlyn that they could discuss options together if Ashlyn didn’t like Chicago, but at least they would be making plans together. 

They talked about this new life they were starting together. Ali had offered to help Ashlyn find and pay for her own apartment for a bit if she felt too uncomfortable to move in right sway, but Ashlyn had said no, saying the whole reason she was moving was to be with Ali. Ali knew that Ashlyn hadn’t brought a lot of money with her, so she offered to support them both until Ashlyn found a job. Ashlyn said she would try to find something as soon as possible. In truth, Ali made enough money that Ashlyn really didn’t have to work. She had offered that up, and she and Ashlyn had argued about that on the plane. Ali didn’t see the point of Ashlyn rushing to find work if she didn’t know what she wanted to do in Chicago, but Ashlyn said that she didn’t want to feel like a kept woman, so Ali dropped it. They talked about their relationship, and both agreed that even though things were moving fast, they were bona fide girlfriends. They were happy together, and they were happy because of each other, and they wanted everyone to know. 

“Well, here we are”, Ali said, as the cab pulled up to Ali’s high rise apartment building on inner Lake Shore Drive in the Gold Coast area, just north of downtown Chicago. Ali paid the cab driver, got their luggage, and the two of them headed into the building.

“Wow”, Ashlyn said, looking around the lobby. “This place is like a fancy hotel”, she said, as Ali greeted the doorman. They took the elevator up to Ali’s floor. Ali unlocked the door to her apartment and ushered Ashlyn in.

“Well, this is it”, Ali said, as Ashlyn looked around. Ali’s apartment was fourteen floors up. It was a luxury two bedroom apartment with an open kitchen complete with dishwasher and laundry in-unit. The living area was in front and to the right. The large living room window looked out onto Lake Michigan. To the left was a separate dining area. The bedrooms were to the right past the living area. A bathroom separated them, and the master bedroom had its own bathroom.

Ashlyn looked out the living room window. “Great view”, she said. 

“Thanks, babe. Wait until the summer, when the trees are all green. Hopefully they start blooming soon. Winter lasts forever here.”

“I forgot what seasons look like”, Ashlyn said. She continued to stare out the window. Ali came up behind her and wrapped her arms around Ashlyn’s waist. Ashlyn closed her eyes and leaned her head back onto Ali’s shoulder, and at that moment she realized just how tired she was. The horrible past week and nine hour flight with no sleep had wiped her out. She was still having trouble believing that she was actually here, and her head was spinning with thoughts, but she was just too tired to process them all, so she kept her eyes closed and tried not to think about anything.

“Hi stud”, Ali whispered into her ear.

“Hi beautiful”, Ashlyn whispered back.

“I’m so glad you’re here”, Ali said.

“Me too”, Ashlyn replied. Despite all of her hesitation, she was actually excited to open herself up and give this new thing on the mainland a shot.

“How do you feel?”, Ali asked.

“Sleepy”, Ashlyn replied.

“Me too.” This past week had been as horrible to Ali as it had been to Ashlyn, and exhaustion was taking over her as well.

Ali kissed the side of Ashlyn’s neck, and then gently turned Ashlyn around so they were facing each other. Ali still couldn’t quite believe that Ashlyn was here with her. It was almost like the last week had been a dream, and she half-expected to wake up anytime now in her hotel room in Waikiki. She looked into Ashlyn’s eyes and said, “I’m so happy you're here with me”. Ashlyn smiled, her eyes sleepy. Ali kissed her lightly and continued. “I’ll never forget that you moved here for me, and I will do whatever I can to make you the happiest woman in the world”.

“Thank you”, Ashlyn whispered. She continued to smile her sleepy smile. Ali continued to hold her, and they remained like that for a while.


	14. Chapter 14

Ali took the next day off of work to help Ashlyn get situated. They went clothes shopping and opened up a bank account for Ashlyn, then ordered a deep-dish pizza for dinner and spent the rest of the evening in Ali’s Jacuzzi tub. Ali went back to work the day after. She arrived at the office early to get situated, anticipating an extremely busy day. She usually kept up with emails on her phone even when she was away from her computer, but she wanted to dedicate all of yesterday to Ashlyn. Ali did a lot of her work through email, so the correspondence had piled up. She was in her office, drinking coffee and rifling through emails and phone messages when Pam knocked on her door.

“Hey stranger, welcome back”, Pam said enthusiastically.

“Hey Pam.” Ali came around from her desk and hugged her. Pam Noles was dressed in a blue dress shirt, matching scarf, black pencil skirt, and black closed toed heels. Her long blonde hair was pulled back in a pony tail. The office dress code was officially on the casual side of dress casual, but Pam, like Ali, often dialed it up a notch. Something we have in common, Ali thought. Ali also knew that Pam, like herself, was openly gay. Something else we have in common. Ali was aware that Pam thought Ali was attractive, and Ali thought Pam was attractive as well, but nothing had ever happened between them. Once in a while Pam openly flirted with Ali, and when they had first started working together Ali had thought about what it would be like to be in a relationship with her, but Ali had been nervous about pursuing it since they worked closely together, so she had decided to keep things professional between them.

“So, how was your trip? Tell me all about it”, Pam said as she took a seat on the other side of Ali’s desk and crossed her legs.

“It was great. I mean, the hotel was really nice, the conference was great, and the panels were really informative. I learned a lot. Plus, you couldn’t beat the weather.”

“Nice. And…free time? Did you get to explore a bit? Break the company credit card on some good restaurants? Do some surfing?” Pam mimicked the motion of surfing with her arms.

“Actually, I did go surfing. And I ate at some great places. The food out there is amazing.”

“Cool. Glad to hear. Hey, I thought you were supposed to be back in the office yesterday.”

“I was originally scheduled to be, but my flight changed”, Ali said.

“Really? United bumped you? That’s weird. You fly them all the time. Aren’t you like a Platinum Member, like me?”

Do I tell her? Ali asked herself. She didn‘t really want to bring the whole Ashlyn story up in the office, but she worked closely with Pam, and she figured Pam would find out soon anyway, so she decided to give her an abbreviated version of the story. “Actually, I changed my own flight.” Ali paused for a moment, trying to figure out the best way to sum up everything, and then said, “I brought someone home with me.”

“Wait…what?” Pam asked, not quite comprehending what Ali just told her.

“I brought someone home with me. Look, it’s kind of a long and complicated story, but the short version is that I met someone there. She’s from Hawaii, and, well…we kind of fell in love.”

“What?” Pam said again, incredulous.

“I know, it sounds crazy, and well, like I said, it’s a long story. I don’t want to get into it right now, but the bottom line is that she came back here with me so we could be together. I pushed my flight back to the red eye so I could get her a seat on the same flight as me. We got back two days ago, slept all day, and then we took yesterday to get her situated. She’s living with me.”

“Wait – she’s _living_ with you?” Pam asked and raised her eyebrows.

“Yup. I know, sounds crazy, right?”

“So, let me get this straight”, Pam said. “You met someone there like three weeks ago, brought that person back here two days ago, and moved her right in to your place?”

“Yup”, Ali confirmed.

“Wow. Okaaaaay… Sounds like one hell of a souvenir you brought back.”

”Pam...”

“Most people would have brought back like a keychain, or a hula girl bobblehead or something”, Pam said and laughed.

”Pam, be nice”, Ali said.

“I’m just playin’. You gotta admit, though - it sounds crazy. I mean, if you were me, and I told you what you just told me, what would you have said?”

“Yeah, I see your point. I would have said that’s crazy”, Ali admitted.

“Exactly. Well, like, what does she do?”

“Well, she’s a surfer and a lifeguard, and she works on fishing boats, and stuff like that.”

“Wow. She sounds very accomplished”, Pam said sarcastically. Ali was about to tell Pam that Ashlyn had saved her life, but she paused to consider the wisdom of getting into the story any deeper than she already was, and as she paused, Pam kept on going. “Anyway, I guess I’d like to meet her sometime. We can do a dinner soon with the girls. You can bring her along.” Ali and Pam were friends with a group of women that went out for dinner on a regular basis. “Anyway, this new Hawaiian move-in girlfriend-thing of yours is to be continued, since the whole thing sounds as unbelievable as some reality TV shit, and I want to hear more, but we need to hit the ground running. The big news around here is, since you were out, I made some progress in pitching the Kensington account, and…drum roll… we are in the final round!” Pam said excitedly.

“Really? That’s great!” Ali said. The Kensington account was a large prospective account that their company had been working on for the last two months. They were shooting towards landing the exclusive marketing duties.

“Yeah. We found out yesterday”, Pam said. “They’re down to picking between three marketing agencies, and we’re one of them. Innovation, NRM and us.”  
“Wow. Big names. Stiff competition. Well, nice work on keeping that moving while I was gone”, Ali said. “And thanks. I owe you big.”

“Well, you’re welcome, but you’re going to be paying it back starting right now. And, since you didn’t bring me back a Hawaiian hottie as well, I’m gonna be on your ass like white on rice.” Pam smiled. “The final round of pitches is in two months, and we have a lot of work to do. They want a full capabilities presentation, as well as an integrated sample campaign. Plus”, Pam said and motioned with her finger between her and Ali, “Abby wants us to lead the team for the final pitch.” Abby Wambach was the Group Director of Digital Marketing, and she oversaw Ali, Pam, and anyone else who worked in the Digital Marketing department.

“Wow”, Ali said. This was bigger than she thought it would be. It's going to be a busy two months, she thought. She had hoped to ease her way back into work so she could spend more time with Ashlyn, but it now seemed like that was not going to be the case.

“Yup. We’re going to be spending a lot of time together”, Pam said. “It’s gonna be some late nights.” She winked at Ali.

Ali ignored the wink and tried to remain professional. “Alright, well I’m ready. Just give me another hour to get caught up, and then I’m all yours.”  
“You got it. Let’s meet in the west conference room at ten. I’ll assemble the team.” Pam paused for a second and then said, “Hey, Ali - you and me: we’re gonna win this thing.” She rose to leave, and as she reached Ali’s door, she turned back and smiled. “Nice to have you back”. She winked again at Ali and walked out of Ali’s office. Ali watched her walk away for a moment and then smiled, shook her head, and went back to her inbox of emails.

 

********

 

Ali took Ashlyn out to dinner at a tapas restaurant their first weekend back. Ali put on a long black evening dress, and Ashlyn wore one of the new outfits that Ali had bought for her, a black suit with a blue shirt, black tie and black shoes.

“Do you guys have tapas in Hawaii?” Ali asked Ashlyn, as they were seated at a cozy table for two.

“I don’t know. Maybe. If we do, I’ve never been.”

“It’s like appetizer portions of Spanish cuisine. Kind of like making a meal out of pupus”, Ali said, trying to draw a parallel.

“I get it”, Ashlyn said. “What should we order?”

“Ali paused for a moment and then said, “How about you order?”

“What?” Ashlyn asked.

“I want you to order for me”, Ali said. “Remember our first date? You asked me to order for you. So now, I want you to order for me. I eat everything on the menu.” She smiled and winked at Ashlyn.

The waiter came, and Ashlyn ordered a bunch of items for her and Ali to share.

“So, how is work going?” Ashlyn asked when the waiter left. “You seem like you’re busy”.

“It’s fine. I mean, I’m super busy, but it’s going well”, Ali said. She took a sip of wine and then said, “We’re pitching some new business, and I’m leading the charge with another co-worker.”

“Oh yeah?” Ashlyn raised an eyebrow. “What’s he like? Or she?”

“She. And she’s good. I’ve worked with her a lot in the last couple of years. She’s smart, she’s ambitious, and she knows her stuff.“

“Wow. Sounds like quite a woman", Ashlyn said and then looked down.

“Babe, stop”, Ali looked at Ashlyn and smiled. “It’s just a co-worker. I like her because she’s good at her job. I mean, she’s a friend too, but that’s all.” Ali paused, and then looked at Ashlyn in the eye. “Do I detect a little bit of jealousy, Ashlyn Harris?” She raised her eyebrows and smiled again at Ashlyn as she asked.

Ashlyn smiled back sheepishly. “No. I mean, maybe. Or, maybe not. I don’t know. Maybe it’s just because this is a new city for me, and this whole thing is new for me, and I’m trying to get my bearings, and, well, I don’t know.” Ashlyn paused for a moment and then said, “I didn’t mean to come off sounding jealous”.

“Well, you don’t have to be”, Ali reassured her. “I’m all yours. Speaking of friends and co-workers, though, Pam - that's her name – she’d like to meet you. She mentioned that we should all go out to dinner soon. We have a group of friends who we do dinner with sometimes. It’s like a ‘whoever can make it that night’ kind of thing.”

“That sounds fun”, Ashlyn said. Inside she perked up a bit. It would be nice to meet some new people and make some new friends. She hoped that Ali’s friends would become her friends as well, and they wouldn't just think of her as ‘Ali’s girlfriend’.

Ali studied Ashlyn’s face for a moment. She could tell Ashlyn was still in the infancy of trying to adjust to her new surroundings. Ali momentarily put herself in Ashlyn’s position, and she empathized. It was a big move for Ashlyn, Ali acknowledged to herself, and I need to do whatever I can to make her feel at home.

“Hey babe”, Ali said and raised her wine glass. Ashlyn did the same. “To our first date here in Chicago.” They clinked glasses. Ali looked right at Ashlyn and then said, “I love you. I’m so glad you’re here, and I hope you grow to love this city and call it home as I do.”

Ashlyn looked back at Ali, smiled, and said “I love you, too, and I hope so too.”

After dinner Ali and Ashlyn walked arm-in-arm back towards home. They walked down Division Street, past a bunch of bars en route to the apartment. It was just past 10pm, and the crowd was starting to filter in.

“This area is called Rush and Division. There are a bunch of bars around here, and they’re open pretty late. Some of them are open until 4am”, Ali said. “If you want nightlife, this is a good area to be in.”

“Wow”, Ashlyn said. 4am was late. A lot of people in Hawaii get up at 4am. “Do you have a favorite place here?” Ashlyn asked.

“I actually don’t go out to the bars around here very often anymore, but when I first moved to Chicago I was out all the time. I still come here, though, once in a while”. Ali pointed to a bar called Mother’s, that they were just passing by. “Do you want to go in for a drink?”

“Sure”, Ashlyn said. They pulled out their ID’s and headed into the club.

“There are two separate areas to this bar”, Ali said, as she motioned to the bartender for drinks. “This front area is just a bar, and they also do Karaoke on that little stage”. Ali pointed to a small stage against the side wall, where a DJ was setting up a laptop computer and turntables. “Back there”, Ali pointed to an archway, “is the dance club area, and they have bands play back there as well.”

“Wow, this place is cool”, Ashlyn said. She liked the vibe. She wasn’t much of a night club person, but she did like this place. It had a comfortable, homey feel to it. She looked around some more and saw more people filtering in. “This place seems popular”, she said to Ali.

“Yeah, it definitely is. This place will be packed from now until close.”

“Jeez”, Ashlyn said. She looked around. The bartenders were already scrambling to keep up. Finally, Ali and Ashlyn’s drinks came. Ali paid for them and ordered another round right away.

“Did you just order another round?” Ashlyn asked, as she took a sip of her drink.

“Yup. With this place being so crowded, you gotta think ahead.” Ali said. “Plus, we’re gonna need some more liquid courage if we’re gonna sing karaoke.” She winked at Ashlyn.

Ashlyn’s mouth dropped open, and she stared at Ali. “W-w-wait, baby – you want me to sing karaoke?” 

Ali smiled mischievously at Ashlyn. “C’mon, stud”, Ali said. “You surf big waves. Are you telling me you’re afraid of singing with me in front of a few people?” Ali took Ashlyn’s hand, and Ashlyn gulped nervously and took another sip of her drink as Ali lead them to the DJ booth.


	15. Chapter 15

The next week for Ali was a busy one at work. She spent a lot of evenings at the office working late on the Kensington pitch with Pam. She always tried to leave work at a reasonable hour so she and Ashlyn could have dinner together, but unfortunately that only happened twice. Ali loved to cook, and she had been looking forward to cooking dinner for Ashlyn on a regular basis. Actually, she had been looking forward to doing a lot of things for or with Ashlyn, and she felt bad that she wasn't able to spend more time with her, but real life had taken over. She was back from her trip to paradise, and the Kensington pitch was consuming her time.

For her part, Ashlyn was trying to figure out what to do with her life now that she was living in Chicago. She had been looking around for jobs and was even considering going to college, which she had never done, although she had absolutely no idea what she would study. The whole marketing thing that Ali did sounded kind of interesting, but Ashlyn was a little turned off by the hours that were apparently required. She even thought about just getting a job at a clothing store, or maybe even being a lifeguard at one of the beaches on Lake Michigan when the weather warmed up.

“Al?” Ashlyn started in one night over dinner. They were sitting at the dining room table. Ali had prepared a delicious chicken penne pasta and garlic bread meal for dinner. It was the first dinner the two had eaten together in four days.

“Ash?” Ali answered.

“I’m glad you’re home for dinner tonight.”

“I am too.” Ali took Ashlyn’s hand. “And I’m sorry I haven’t been around more. I really didn’t think work would be so busy.”

“It’s okay”, Ashlyn said. “I guess I just thought that you would be around more, at least at night. I mean, I knew you worked during the day, but I figured you’d be home more for dinners and TV and snuggle time and, you know, other stuff...” She smiled.

“I know”, Ali said. “And again, I'm sorry. I really do want to be home more. In fact, there are so many things I want to do with you.” She paused, and then said, “But the good thing is that, you live here now. There will be time to do all of those things in the future.”

Ashlyn smiled. “I guess so. I mean, it’s not like I’m on vacation and have to leave soon.”

Ali smiled. She gave Ashlyn’s hand a squeeze and then let go. “So, how is job hunting going?” she asked while taking a bite of pasta.

“I don’t know. I mean, I just don’t know what I want to do with myself now that I am here”, Ashlyn sighed.

“Well, what are you thinking about doing?”

“I don’t know. I mean, lots of things I guess. Bartending, working at a clothing store, lifeguard at a beach. Maybe even going to college, although I don't know what I would study”, Ashlyn answered.

“Well you could always just get a job bartending or doing retail for now until you figure things out. And, if you want to stay with whatever you end up doing, that’s fine too", Ali said. She could tell that Ashlyn was feeling a little directionless and was trying to be as supportive as possible.

“I don't know. I feel like maybe I should do more than just work in a bar or a clothing store. I mean, you’re like this high-powered marketing big wig, and I’m just some lolo, the dumb island girl who can't do anything more than fold clothes or pour drinks.” Ashlyn pouted.

“Hey – you’re not lolo”, Ali said. She looked at Ashlyn and took her hand again. “You’re the woman I love.” She looked down and then looked up. “I mean, I have to tell you – the rat race isn’t all that it’s cracked to to be.”

“Then why be in it? I mean, why work so many hours if it's not worth it?” Ashlyn asked.

“Because it's for us, babe. I'm thinking about our future", Ali said. "Plus, I like my job”.

Ashlyn signed. “I know. Security. I get it”.

They went quiet for a second, then Ashlyn said, “Hey beautiful - do you remember the first time I took you surfing, near Diamond Head? Laying on our boards, feeling the swell gently rise and fall below us? Looking around at the scenery?”

“Of course.” Ali paused and then smiled. “When you kissed me and told me that would help me stand up on the board?"

“And then I convinced you to spend the rest of the day with me?” Ashlyn said.

“And then we went fishing and saw the sunset and had the most amazing day and night ever?” Ali continued, smiling at the memory.  
“Yes, that day.” Ashlyn confirmed, smiling as well.

"Of course I remember that day", Ali said. She looked at Ashlyn and smiled. Ashlyn smiled and then looked down. “Babe – are you okay?”

Ashlyn looked up. “Yeah.” She paused and then looked right into Ali's eyes and said, “I guess…I just kind of miss feeling like that.”  
Ali smiled at Ashlyn and thought to herself, I know. I want to feel like that again too.

 

********

 

“Good morning, Abby. You wanted to see me?” Ali knocked on her boss’s door.

“Ali, come on in. Have a seat.” Ali entered Abby’s corner office and took a seat in front of her desk. Abby turned away from her computer and leaned back in her chair. “So, I just want to find out how the Kensington pitch is going.”

“Uh, it’s going great", Ali said. "Pam and I have the overall outline for the final presentation done. I started fleshing out the details for the capabilities presentation, and Pam has the creative team working on concepts for the sample campaign.”

“Great”, Abby said. “Just let me know when you’re ready for me to take a look.” She sat up and put her hands on her desk. “Ali, I’m going to be frank with you. Landing the Kensington account would be a big win for this agency.” She paused and then said. “I’m depending on you and Pam to successfully lead the team on this pitch and bring this home for us.”

“You bet, Abby”, Ali said. No pressure, she thought sarcastically, but outwardly she smiled confidently. “We’re on it.”

Abby stared at Ali for a second and then continued. “Ali, winning this account would not only be a big win for the agency, but it would also be a big win for you. It’s the kind of move that could take you to the next level.” Abby stood up and walked around to the front of her desk and leaned against it in front of Ali. “In a few years I intend to take the Chief Operations Officer position. I’ll be looking for someone to take my place as the Group Director of Digital Marketing.” She looked right at Ali. “I think that person could be you.”

Ali's mouth dropped and her eyes went open. “Wow”, she said. “Thank you. I mean, that’s…that’s a big jump for me.”

“Yes it is. But I think you'd be the right person. You’re smart. You’re ambitious. You’ve got a natural talent for marketing. People like working with you.” Abby looked right at Ali. “You’re the kind of person who could one day run this company, or one like it. Not many people have that in them. You should push it and go as far as you can.”

Ali sat still. She kept eye contact with Abby, but her mind was turning cartwheels. Before she left for Hawaii, she was dead set on heading for the C Suite. Getting the opportunity to lead the Kensington pitch should have been the most exciting news of her life, since winning the pitch would guarantee a boost to her career. Yet, ever since meeting Ashlyn, she had been doubting whether she wanted to sideline everything else in life just to get to the top of the corporate ladder. Something's happening to me, Ali thought. Something’s changing inside me. Could it be that I’m losing focus? Is getting to the top not as important as it was even just a month ago? Am I actually struggling to find a balance between work and life?

“Absolutely, Abby.” Ali said. She put on a confident smile and stood up. “Thanks again for the vote of confidence. Pam and I will bring this one home for us.”

“Wonderful, Ali", Abby said and smiled. "I knew you were the right person to lead this charge.”

Ali left Abby’s office and shut the door. She paused outside Abby’s office and closed her eyes. Then she exhaled a deep breath, opened her eyes and walked back to her office. She shut the door and sat down at her desk, and as she did, she looked at a photo of her and Ashlyn. Ashlyn had taken it on the boat, the day she had convinced Ali to ditch work and spend the whole day with her surfing and fishing. Ali stared at the photo for a few moments and smiled. Then her computer dinged, signifying the arrival of a new email in her inbox. She refocused, sighed, and went back to work.


	16. Chapter 16

“Well, this is it", Ali said. "Wrigley Field. Home of The Cubs, the most underachieving team in Major League Baseball. But we still love ‘em", Ali said and smiled, as she lead Ashlyn to their seats.

“Wow, this is awesome! Look how many people there are”, Ashlyn said, looking around in awe at the 40,000+ people who were sitting in the famous baseball stadium. Ali had been tied up at work for the last week but had taken the weekend off to spend time with Ashlyn. They had gone to the Art Institute yesterday, and today Ali was taking Ashlyn to her first Major League Baseball game. The first pitch was scheduled to be thrown at 1:05pm. It was a beautiful spring day in Chicago. Ali had bought Ashlyn a Cubs T-shirt and hat to match her own from a vendor on their way into the stadium, and they sat down in their seats with their hot dogs and Old Style.

“Okay”, Ali said, “so this is a Chicago-style hot dog.”

“What’s all this on top?" Ashlyn asked, pointing to the five dollar mess in her hand. "There’s like a whole refrigerator of stuff on here."

“Hot dog, mustard, onions, pickle, tomato, relish, hot peppers, and celery salt”, Ali said, pointing to all of the ingredients.

“And I have to eat it all together?” Ashlyn asked. “I can’t just pick off the toppings and eat them separately?”

No”, Ali said firmly. “You have to eat it all together.”

Ashlyn stared at her with a look that said, Really?, so Ali smiled and rolled on. “Hey – I tried Spam Musubi when I was in your hometown, against all inclinations not to, and I actually ended up liking it. So now it’s your turn. Here, watch me”, Ali said. She opened up and took a large bite.

“Jesus”, Ashlyn said. What is it with people and food in this town? Deep dish pizza three inches thick and hot dogs with like 17 condiments on them. Do you have to be an alligator to eat here? Ashlyn mused. She followed Ali’s lead and took a huge bite, then grabbed her beer, ready to chase if necessary. She paused for a moment with the bite in her mouth and then started chewing. She kept chewing for thirty seconds until she had swallowed most of it and then washed the rest down with some beer.

“Hey, that was pretty good”, Ashlyn said, smiling at Ali.

“You like?” Ali asked. She had adopted this particular phrase of Ashlyn’s pidgin into her own vocabulary.

“Yeah, it’s good. I mean, I thought it was going to be like, overwhelming, but it all kind of went together.”

“I’m glad you like”, Ali said and gave Ashlyn a quick kiss. She was glad that Ashlyn seemed to like some Chicago style things. She’ll probably never like the weather, Ali mused, but then again, even people who are from here don’t like the weather.

“Hey, I got a job” Ashlyn said, as they ate their hot dogs and waited for the game to start.

“What?" Ali said, surprised. "Where? Like, when did that happen?”

"I applied at that bar Mother’s last week one night while you were working. I got a call from the manager right before we left to come here. I’ll be bartending there.”

“Oh that’s great!” Ali was happy for Ashlyn. At least she’s got something going on now, even if it’s not ultimately what she wants to do. “When do you start?”

“In two days.”

‘Well good, hon. I’m happy for you. I’ll have to come visit you soon, once you get situated. Lord knows I could use a drink after some of those late nights at the office. I swear, this pitch is gonna kill me.”

“That would be awesome if you would come visit me”, Ashlyn said and smiled at Ali. "I'd love that."

Ali smiled back, and then both she and Ashlyn heard the crowd roar. “Speaking of pitch, here we go”, said Ali, as the Cubs took the field.

 

********

 

Six innings, two more hot dogs, an order of nachos and four more beers later, Ali and Ashlyn sat in their seats, full and kind of buzzed. The warm spring afternoon sun beamed down on their faces. The Cubs were losing 0-1, but neither of them cared. Ali had told Ashlyn that going to Cubs games isn’t about winning or losing anyway, since the Cubs usually lose. It's about eating hot dogs, drinking beers and just hanging out and taking in the whole experience. Ashlyn snuggled into Ali and nuzzled her neck. “I’m having a wonderful day, beautiful. Thank you”, she said.

“I’m so glad, babe”, Ali replied. She was happy that Ashlyn was happy, and she hoped that this was the start of Ashlyn growing to love her hometown. "I'm happy you're having a wonderful day, and I want to show around this town, just like you showed me around Hawaii." She took her hand and pushed a stray piece of hair out of Ashlyn’s face, and then leaned in to kiss her. They stayed like that for a few seconds, and then Ashlyn deepened the kiss, and the two lovers continued to kiss for another minute. Ashlyn was lost in the kiss when she heard the crowd cheer. She broke off and looked at Ali.

‘What’s going on?” Ashlyn asked. It had been quiet for most of the game.

‘I don’t know”, Ali said, looking around for a fly ball or a home run. “Oh, shit”, she said, and her face went red.

“What, baby?” Ashlyn asked, a mixture of worry and confusion on her face.

“I think I figured out what all the cheering was for”, she said, and pointed towards center field.

Ashlyn followed Ali’s finger and saw herself and Ali in all their glory on the large jumbotron. “Oh nooooo”, Ashlyn said, as it dawned on her what Ali was talking about. She looked at Ali. “How long were we up there for?”

“Long enough”, said a woman sitting behind them. Ali and Ashlyn turned around to face her, and she smiled.

Yeah”, said her friend sitting next to her. “That was the most excitement we’ve had all game.”

 

********

 

That evening, Ali and Ashlyn were back at the apartment, snuggled up on the couch, drinking wine and watching Crocodile Dundee. Ali thought the movie was kind of silly, but Ashlyn had wanted to watch it, and since Ali had been working so much, she gave Ashlyn the choice of movie.

“I like that movie”, Ashlyn said and smiled, as they reached the credits.

“It’s silly”, Ali said.

“Well, yeah, but, it’s kind of like me.”

“What - you’re silly?” Ali asked, jokingly.

“No, lolo. It’s like me because that guy goes to a new city far away from everything he's ever known, and he tries to adapt. That’s like what I’m doing here", Ashlyn said. She popped the DVD out of the DVD player and the TV came on. It was the 10 o'clock news.

"…and the Cubs lost again today, but not everyone seemed to care", the news anchor reported. "At least not these two fans on the jumbotron", he said, and cut to a shot of Ali and Ashlyn making out in their seats.

"Oh…my…God…" Ashlyn said. “Is…that…us…on…TV…?”

Ali stared at the TV, mouth open. Not only had they been made on the jumbotron at the stadium, but they had also made the 10 o'clock evening news.

"Uh…how many people just saw that?" Ashlyn asked, referring to the news cast.

"Uh…probably about 3 million."

Ali and Ashlyn stared at the TV for a few more seconds and then turned to stare at each other. They looked at each other for a moment, and then they started laughing. They fell into each other and laughed for two solid minutes straight.

"Oh my God", Ashlyn said, her sides splitting.

"Oh well, what are you gonna do?" Ali said back, her face hurting from laughing so hard.

When they came down from their laugh attack, Ali said, "Anyway, babe, what were you saying about your silly movie?"

"Oh, nothing", Ashlyn said. "I guess it’s kind of like me, coming to a new place and trying to adjust." Ashlyn looked at Ali and smiled slightly. "And, I like the movie because it has a happy ending", she said.

"You're sappy", Ali said jokingly.

"Whatever. I don't know. I guess I just like happy endings. That's all."

"Fairy tale stuff", Ali said. "I get it. I grew up on Disney and stuff. But, like, that stuff usually doesn't happen in real life."

Ashlyn said and looked into Ali's eyes. "Anything can happen, beautiful. I mean, look - I'm here".

Ali looked back into Ashlyn's eyes. There was something just so…beautifully vulnerable about her right now, she thought. In Hawaii, she was in her element. Now, seeing her here, she was unsure, almost timid, and in that moment Ali had one thought: I want to do whatever I can to make her happy. I’m trying my best. I want to give my girl a happy ending. As she sat there thinking about that, a crude thought crossed her mind. Normally Ali wasn't one to say something crude, but the combination of the beers, the wine, and the jumbotron incident made her lips moved on their own accord. She smiled flirtatiously at Ashlyn and said, "Well, I've got a happy ending for you, stud", and then brushed her lips over Ashlyn’s.

"Ha!" Ashlyn said. "Really, beautiful? That was like a combination of crude and cheesy." She looked at Ali and raised her eyebrows.

Ali just looked back at her with her flirtatious smile. "Yeah, well, I mean, pretty much the whole city now knows that we do it anyway, so you know..." Ali smiled and raised her eyebrows suggestively.

“We may as well”, Ashlyn laughed, and Ali grabbed her hands and pulled her into the bedroom.


	17. Chapter 17

Ashlyn was sitting in the apartment watching surfing videos online. It was just past 6pm when her phone rang. It was Ali.

“Hi beautiful”, Ashlyn answered.

“Hey stud, how was work last night?” Ali asked. Last night had been Ashlyn's first night of working at Mother's. Ali had been sleeping when Ashlyn had gotten home around 2am, and she had left before Ashlyn had woken up.

“Good. It wasn’t too busy, so it was a good night to start. How’s your day going?”

“Well, okay, but it looks like I’m going to be working late again.”

Ashlyn’s face dropped, and she pouted into the phone. “Awww, Al…I’m bummed.” They were supposed to have dinner and movie night tonight. Ashlyn was working the next few nights, and with Ali working days and Ashlyn working nights, they were already short on time together.

”I know, and I’m sorry. Listen, how’s this: I will make it up to you this weekend. There is something I want to do with you.”

“Oh yeah?” Ashlyn perked up, and to tease Ali she put just enough sexual innuendo into the tone of her voice.

“Well, that too”, Ali laughed, “but this something I was referring to is specific to Chicago.”

“Oh, okay. Well, I’m excited!”

“Good. And I promise – I won't do any work this weekend.”

“Okay”, Ashlyn said. “I'm holding you to that.” She thought for a moment and then said, “Hey – do you want me to bring you some dinner to your office tonight?”

“Actually, that would be great.” Ali said. She actually could have had something delivered from Grub Hub, but the thought of seeing Ashlyn’s face made her smile. “There’s a Thai place right near the office.” She gave Ashlyn an order and the addresses to both the restaurant and her office and told her to check in at the security desk in the lobby of the building when she arrived.

“Okay, see you soon. Love you”, Ashlyn said.

“Okay, thanks babe. Love you too.”

Ashlyn arrived at the office 45 minutes later. She checked in at the security desk in the lobby and had them page Ali, then she took the elevator up to Ali’s floor. Ali met her at the Digitalworks reception desk.

“Hi babe, welcome to my work.” Ali gave Ashlyn a kiss and took the food from her. "Thanks for bringing dinner".

“Wow”, Ashlyn said. “This place is like something you see in the movies.” The Digitalworks office took up the entire 40th floor of a downtown high-rise office building. It had floor-to-ceiling windows that offered sweeping views of downtown Chicago and Lake Michigan from the window offices and conference rooms. It was modern and hip looking, decorated in the perfect style to strike the right balance of business savvy and creative flair. It was the perfect office setting for a creative digital marketing agency. Ashlyn looked around in awe.

“Thanks, hon. I'm glad you like." Ali said, smiling that Ashlyn was so impressed. "I’ll get you a keycard soon, so you don’t have to check in with security if you visit in the future." The company policy was that, for the most part, only employees were allowed keycards to the building and office, but they had recently instituted a new policy that allowed significant others of VPs and up to also have keycards as well. "Come on back.” Ali smiled and led Ashlyn to her window office. Pam was sitting at the front of Ashlyn’s desk, looking at Ali’s draft of the capabilities presentation.

“Pam, this is my girlfriend, Ashlyn. Ashlyn, this is Pam.”

“Hi Pam, it's nice to meet you”, Ashlyn said cheerfully.

Pam rose to shake Ashlyn’s hand. “Nice to meet you too”, she said, much more cool. She gave Ashlyn the once-over and then turned to Ali. “I was right. That is quite a souvenir you brought home.”

Ashlyn stared at her. Souvenir? I'm not a souvenir, she thought. Was this woman insulting me? Or maybe that’s just her humor, or maybe that’s just Chicago humor. She ignored the remark. Ali blushed, a little embarrassed, and said, “Pam, stop.”

Pam said, “I’m just playing.” She looked at the bag in Ali’s hand. “Oh, you got her fetching dinner for you?”

“I brought you something, too”, Ashlyn said to Pam, trying to ingratiate herself to one of Ali’s friends and closest co-worker.

“Oh, well look at you”, Pam said dismissively and then looked at Ali. “Dinner delivered with a smile and a cute little accent. She's good, Ali.” Then she looked at Ashlyn. “We could use a reliable intern after-hours”, she jabbed condescendingly.

Did I do something wrong? Ashlyn thought. It seems like she doesn’t like me, I've only known her for like one minute. Ashlyn let that slide as well, but started to get a bad feeling inside.

“Thank you again, babe” Ali said to Ashlyn and gave her a peck on the lips.” I - well, we” she looked at Pam, “really appreciate it.”

“Yep, and we didn’t even have to pay the delivery charge”, Pam said. Ali gave her a sideways look, telling her to knock it off.

“Well, um, you guys look busy, so I guess I’ll leave, so you can get back to work”, Ashlyn said. She looked at Pam. “I hope I didn’t disturb you too much”, she said, trying again to ingratiate herself to this woman who already seemed to not like her.

“Okay babe. I’ll be home as soon as I can”, Ali said. She kissed Ashlyn again.

“We’re gonna be a while”, Pam said to Ashlyn. “The adults have work to do. You can wait here if you want. We’ve got extra computers if you want to surf the internet.” Pam turned to Ali and asked, “She knows how to use the internet, right?”

Ali shot Pam a look. “Yes, Pam. Ashlyn knows how to use the internet.” Ashlyn just stared at Pam, as if to say, Really? You think I'm so dumb or from so far away that I don't know how to use the internet?

“Well, I wasn’t sure. I mean, I’m sure she knows how to surf, but 'surfing' here in the real world is a bit different than surfing on some island”, Pam quipped. She smiled, and Ashlyn couldn’t tell if she was just joking or really taking a jab at her. “Anyway, like I said, you can stay here if you want and use an extra computer. I’m sure you can probably find Blue Crush or Baywatch online somewhere.”

Ali shot Pam another look. "Pam - enough", she said.

"Jeez, I'm just playing. Relax", Pam said. She smiled, but there was an rough undertone in her voice. She didn’t sound very apologetic.

“Um, thanks, but that’s okay”, Ashlyn said. “I’ll just go home and wait for Ali. Uh, nice meeting you, Pam.”

“Nice meeting you too.” Pam smiled her sweetest fake smile. “See you around.”

Ashlyn turned and left the office.

“I’ll walk you out, babe”, Ali said.

“She doesn’t seem to like me very much”, Ashlyn said as they headed towards the elevators.

“Awwww, hon, I wouldn’t worry. Pam’s fine. She’s just…really trying to focus on work tonight", Ali said, in an attempt to gloss over Pam's condescension towards, Ashlyn, even though she didn't exactly believe that was the whole truth. "She's right that we have a lot of work to do, and the sooner we get done, the sooner we can both get out of here, and the sooner I can be home with you”, Ali said. She could tell Ashlyn was upset, and she smiled in an attempt to alleviate that.

Ashlyn smiled back. She had never been under the kind of work pressure that apparently Ali and Pam were under. Maybe that kind of pressure just makes people mean. She tried to be understanding. “Okay, see you at home.” They kissed, and Ashlyn left the building. Ali walked back to her office. Pam was unpacking the food that Ashlyn had brought them.

“She’s cute, Ali.” Pam said in a tone of voice that suggested she was talking about a child, or maybe a pet.

Ali looked right at Pam and said, “Pam, knock it off. That’s my girlfriend." Pam looked up, and Ali continued. "I want you to be nice to her, and talk nicely about her around me.” Pam gave Ali a look like Ali was blowing things out of proportion, so Ali continued on. “Look, she may not be from a mainland big city, or have graduated magna cum laude from Stanford, or work in a downtown office, but she’s not an idiot, so don't talk to her like she is. Plus, I like her a lot, so, you know…no more snarky comments”, Ali said firmly.

Pam laughed. “I’m just playing, Ali. Jesus, relax. You know how I roll." Pam shrugged her shoulders at Ali and said, "She seems…nice.”

Ali looked at Pam for a moment. There was something offputting in the way that Pam talked about and had acted towards Ashlyn. Pam was naturally sarcastic and condescending, and Ali knew that. She had seen that from Pam before, when she interacted with their friends, and in how Pam acted around other co-workers and towards the people who worked under her. But this was different. There was some kind of an edge underneath Pam's tone when she talked about or to Ashlyn. Ali got the feeling that it wasn't just Ashlyn herself or who she was that was prompting this edge, but maybe something else, something deeper or more complicated. Ali sighed and picked up her chopsticks. “C’mon, let’s eat and then get back to work”.

 

********

 

Ashlyn was looking at surf cams when Ali got home. It was just after 10pm. She was sitting on the couch, looking at the home laptop.

“Hey babe, watcha looking at?” Ali came over and kissed Ashlyn on the head. Ashlyn didn’t look up.

“Ash, is everything okay?” Ali asked.

“I miss home”, Ashlyn said, still staring at the laptop screen.

“Awwwww, I understand.” Ali set down her purse and sat next to Ashlyn. “Well, the weather will warm up here soon, so it will be more like Hawaii.”

“I miss more than just the weather, Al. I miss the people, the laid back atmosphere”, Ashlyn said. She turned to look at Ali. “That woman Pam doesn’t like me.”

Ali sighed and then took Ashlyn’s hand. “Look, babe, she was just playing. She has a bit of a sarcastic streak, and she’s just under a lot of stress right now, but she’s normally really nice.”

“Well, you’re under a lot of pressure right now too, and you’re still nice.” Ali smiled and kissed Ashlyn. “Anyway, I don’t mean to overreact”, Ashlyn continued. “I just thought she was…kind of mean to me. What’s her problem with me, anyway?” And, she thought, what is it that could cause someone to be mean like that?

“Ash, I don’t know, and I’m sorry she rubbed you the wrong way”, Ali said. “But I do have to work with her often, and she is my friend outside of work, so hopefully you guys will get to a point where you like each other.”

Ashlyn was bummed to hear that and pouted. “Maybe, if she's not a bitch to me.”

“Babe, I’m sorry again”, Ali said. She thought about telling Ashlyn that she had told Pam to be nicer, but she thought that maybe that would make Ashlyn uncomfortable, or make Ashlyn feel like she needed Ali to stick up for her, so she let it go.

“It's okay", Ashlyn said. I know you can’t pick your co-workers, and I know you said she’s normally nicer than she was tonight. Again, I just have this feeling that she doesn’t like me.”

“Well, don’t judge her on tonight's meeting alone", Ali said. "Let’s just see how things go, maybe like in a social, non-work, setting.”

Ashlyn sighed and looked down. “Okay, I’ll be positive and see how it goes.”

“Hey stud”, Ali said as she lifted Ashlyn’s chin with her thumb and forefinger. She touched her forehead to Ashlyn's and smiled. “I love you.”

Ashlyn smiled. “I love you too.”

They remained there on the couch like that for a while, alternating between lightly kissing and resting their foreheads together.


	18. Chapter 18

“Babe, are you ready? We’re going to be late”, Ali called into the bedroom from the living room of their apartment. They were meeting some of Ali’s friends for dinner. Ali had picked a restaurant that served Hawaiian-fusion cuisine. It was the only one of its kind in Chicago. Ali had been there before, and she thought that Ashlyn might enjoy a taste of home.

“Okay, okay, I’m coming”, Ashlyn called from the bedroom. Ali rolled her eyes. Ashlyn was running on island time. She had spent the last hour and a half leisurely trying on different outfits, trying to figure out the best thing to wear for her first meeting with Ali’s friends.

Ashlyn walked out of the bedroom. She was wearing a light blue and white checkered shirt, a dark blue tie, a grey vest, and matching grey pants. She topped it all off with a dark grey fedora. “How’s this?” She asked Ali. “Is this okay?”

Ali turned to look, and her breath caught. “Well hey there, stud. You look…mmmm. “She walked up to Ashlyn and gave her a kiss on the lips.

Ashlyn smiled back, unsure. “Are you sure?” Ashlyn asked. “I mean, I can wear something else.”

“No, it looks great", Ali said. " And we have to get going”. She sighed but smiled at the same time, partly exasperated that Ashlyn was running on island time, but also thinking: it’s kind of adorable that she’s nervous about meeting my friends.

“Okay”, Ashlyn said. “Let me finish up and I’ll be ready soon.” She turned around to go back into the bedroom, took two steps, and then paused and turned back around to face Ali.

“Babe, what is it?” Ali asked, noticing the look on Ashlyn’s face. “Are you okay?”

“Ummm…Pam’s not going to be there tonight, is she?” Ashlyn asked. It had been a few days since she had met Pam in Ali's office, and as positive as Ashlyn wanted to be about their next meeting, she couldn't help but think that Pam would be rude to her again if she was there tonight.

“No, Pam won’t be there tonight.” Ali confirmed. “The funny thing is, it was actually her idea to get all of us together for dinner, but she ended up getting a date for tonight, so she said she’d rather do that.” Then Ali stepped closer to Ashlyn and lightly grabbed her arms. “And, even if Pam was going to be there tonight, I would keep her at bay”, she said reassuringly and smiled.

"And the rest of your friends…are they…nicer than her?" Ashlyn was almost timid.

"Ali laughed softly and said reassuringly, "Yes, babe. They’re all very nice."

“Okay." Ashlyn smiled back. "I’ll be ready soon.”

"Is that ‘soon’ as in ‘real time", or soon as in ‘island time'?" Ali asked jokingly. Ashlyn stuck her tongue out at Ali and then went back into the bedroom to finish getting ready.

 

********

 

Ali and Ashlyn arrived at the restaurant 25 minutes late. Everyone else was already seated. Ali apologized and introduced Ashlyn, who was really the guest of honor at this dinner, to everyone. Ali's friends all knew about Ashlyn, but this was their first time meeting her, so Ashlyn was understandably nervous. There was Megan, Tobin, and Carli.

“Nice to meet you all”, Ashlyn said as she and Ali took their seats. To Ali she asked, “How do you know everyone?”

“Megan – Pinoe – and I went to high school together. She played on the soccer team with me." Ali turned to Pinoe. "Ashlyn used to play soccer too.” 

“Oh, sweet!” Megan said. “Did Ali tell you how I used to school her on a regular basis?” Megan teased.

“Whatever, ass. I was the team captain, remember?” Ali retorted.

“Aye aye, Captain”, Megan said, giving her a mock salute. “And who was your fearless co-captain, the one who really ran the show?” Megan said to Ali, then pointed at herself and winked at Ashlyn. Ashlyn laughed.

Ali rolled her eyes and continued. “Tobin and I know each other from the health club, and Carli and I work together.”

“Well, truth be told, I work for Ali, not with her”, Carli said, throwing her boss a prop.

Ali smiled a thank you smile at Carli, and then said to Ashlyn, “Oh, that reminds me, I have your office key card.” She dug into her purse and handed it to Ashlyn.

“Oh, cool. Thanks. Now I can stalk you”, Ashlyn said. The table laughed.

“It’s cool you get a key card. Only the higher-ups are allowed to get key cards for their significant others”, Carli said, tipping a nod to the privilege, as well as Ali’s important position in the company.

“Wow. Well, if that's the case, I’ll try not to abuse the privilege”, Ashlyn said and smiled back.

“So, how do you like Chicago, Ashlyn?” Megan asked.

“Uh, it’s great. I mean the weather's colder than I’m used to, but other than that it’s been great.”

“What have you been doing?” Tobin asked.

“Um, well Ali’s been really busy, so we haven’t really been able to spend that much time together, but when she has free time we’ve been going around, sightseeing, that kind of stuff…eating a lot”, Ashlyn said, and everybody laughed.

“Yeah, that’s kind of what we do here in this town”, Carli said, laughing.

Ashlyn laughed with them and then continued, “I just got a job and started working a few days ago. Oh, and Ali took last weekend off from work, so we went to a Cubs game.”

“Oh yeah, I think I saw you guys on the news”, Megan said and smiled. Ali and Ashlyn hung their heads in mock shame, and Megan laughed good-naturedly.

“Wait…what happened?” Carli asked.

“You didn’t hear about this?” Tobin looked at Carli. “It was on the ten o’clock news.”

“No. What happened?” Carli asked again.

“These two lovebirds were on the jumbotron at the Cubs game last weeke…“ Megan trailed off as she realized she was just about to tell a potentially embarrassing story about Ali and Ashlyn to one of Ali’s co-workers.

“Go ahead, Pinoe”, Ali said, with a sigh and a smile. You can tell her.”

Megan relayed the story, and Carli and the rest of the table laughed. “Bet you never thought you’d be famous within a month of moving here, huh?”, Megan said to Ashlyn with a wink.

After the laughter over the jumbotron story had died down, Ashlyn asked, “So, are all of you single?”

“No, but this is kind of like our friends’ night out”, Carli told Ashlyn. “I have a boyfriend, Brian. He’s a mortgage broker.”

“I just started seeing someone”, Tobin said. “Her name’s Alex. She works as a realtor, and she’s a fitness instructor on the side, which is what I do full-time.”

“I’m dating a girl who’s a musician, and she’s awesome! ” Megan said, her eyes lighting up.

“Okay, Pinoe. Let’s not start monopolizing the dinner conversation with talk about Sera”, Ali said with a smile. Megan loved to talk, and she loved to talk about her girlfriend Sera. “Tonight’s about my girlfriend, alright?” Ali touched Ashlyn’s arm, and Ashlyn smiled sweetly.

“Alright, fair enough”, Megan said with a smile and then asked Ashlyn, “So, where are you working?”

“I’m bartending at Mother’s, on Rush and Division. It’s near our place”, Ashlyn said.

“Oh, cool. I’ve been there a lot. Are you planning on staying there for a while, or is that like just something to tie you over while you look for something else?” Megan asked.

“I don’t know”, Ashlyn said. “I’m still trying to figure out what I want to do now that I’m here.”

“Well, it’s a big life change, moving here. You should take your time”, Megan advised.

“Yeah, you should do something you like, too. Don’t rush into anything”, Carli said.

“Plus, your sugar mamma can support you while you figure it out", Tobin jabbed good-naturedly at Ali, and Ashlyn laughed.

“She’s been great with me,” Ashlyn said.

“Well, I think it’s great that you moved here for her”, Megan said. “I mean, that’s a huge life change for you.”

“Well, it was, and it is great, but I couldn’t just pack up and move to Hawaii, Pinoe”, Ali defended herself. “I have a real job, you know, unlike you artsy people.” Megan worked as an actress in the Chicago improv scene.

Megan ignored the jab and kept on going. “Can’t you work anywhere, Kriegs, with all of that high powered digital technology at your disposal?” Megan said.  
“I asked her that too”, Ashlyn said. She liked Megan. She had just met her, and already it seemed like they were on the same page.

“Alright, guys”, Ali said and put her hands up, conceding defeat.

“Well, it’s a good thing that Ashlyn moved here for you then, Ali”, Tobin said.

“Well, actually”, Ashlyn said, “I moved here for me. I needed to take a chance on something”. She didn’t want to get into the whole background on her parents and why she hadn’t been back to the mainland in 15 years, so she said, “Ali was just, well, let's just say that she provided more than enough incentive for me to take that chance." She leaned over and gave Ali a quick kiss and then said, "I just wished she wasn't working so much, so I could see her more."

Ali smiled at Ashlyn and then addressed the table. “Okay, guys, I’m hungry”, she said. “Pick up your menus, and let’s order”.

"Oh, I haven't even looked at the menu yet", Megan said.

“I don’t know what I want”, Tobin said.

“Me either”, Carli echoed.

“Where are the vegetarian dishes?” Megan asked.

“There’s like, too many things on this menu”, Tobin said.

“Jesus Christ, you guys”, Ali said. “God, why is it so hard to get a bunch of people to order some dinner?” she said in mock exasperation. “I swear, the more people you have, the harder it is to do anything. Okay, listen up ladies…” Ashlyn watched as Ali started rattling off suggestions to each of the women. It was kind of neat for Ashlyn to see Ali take charge and organize everyone. And, she’s passionate about food. I do love that, Ashlyn thought. 

 

********

 

After dinner the women headed to a nearby club. They had a drink at the bar and then hit the dance floor. After 20 minutes of dancing, Ali was ready for another drink.

“Hey stud, I’m headed to the bar”, Ali said to Ashlyn as they were dancing. “You want anything?”

“No, I’m good, thanks” Ashlyn said.

“Okay, I’ll be back in a minute”, Ali said. She smiled and gave Ashlyn a kiss.

“I’ll come with you”, Megan said. She followed Ali to the bar.

“So…how are things going with you two?” Megan asked after they had ordered. She wanted to get the real scoop, not just the dinner table version.

”Things are good”, Ali said, as she watched Ashlyn dance.

“Does she like it here?”

“I think so. I mean, I really haven’t seen her as much as I would like, and I wish I could spend more time with her, but I think she’s adjusting, and I think she’s happy.”

“Why haven’t you been able to spend more time with her?” Megan asked.

“Because I’ve been busy with work”.

“Yeah, I gathered that. Doing what, exactly?”

Ali sighed. ”I’m on this big project. I won’t bore you with the details, but it’s just a beast. I’ve been working a lot of nights and some weekends.”

“Are you working with Pam?” Megan frowned as she asked.

“Yeah, I am.” Ali knew that Megan wasn’t fond of Pam. They had met a few times, and Pam had rubbed her the wrong way. “I know – you don’t like her.”

“Yeah, she’s not my favorite”, Megan confirmed. “I think she’s manipulative and, honestly, she can be kinda mean.”

Ali nodded in reluctant agreement. “She was kind of snarky towards Ashlyn the other night.”

“That sucks. Well, at least Ashlyn seems to get along with all of us”, Megan said, meaning her, Carli and Tobin.

Ali thought for a second and then said, “I really hope she ends up liking it here.”

“Well, I think that depends largely on you”, Megan said. “I mean, this is a big change for her. She’ll need your help to adjust. You should stop working such long hours so you can be there for her more." Megan thought for a second and then said, "I got the feeling when we were talking at dinner that she misses not having you around as much as she wants."

“Look, I want to be around more for her, but I do have to work”, Ali said. “Someone’s gotta pay the bills.”

“I know, I get that. But Kriegs, she moved halfway across the world for you. She made a huge life change, and you owe it to her to be around as much as you can to help her make the adjustment. I’m sure she didn’t move here to sit in an apartment by herself, no matter how nice that apartment is.”

“I know. I get it”, Ali said. “Well, hopefully work will calm down after I get done with this project.”

Megan was quiet for a second and then said, “Have you thought about what you guys are going to do if she ends up not being happy here?”

“No, not really”, Ali answered. “I don’t know. Why?”

“Would you move for her, like if she wanted to move back to Hawaii?”

“I don’t know. Like, Hawaii was awesome, but my whole life is here.”

Their drinks came and Megan paid for them. She took a sip and then asked, “Why did you bring her here, Al?”

“What?”

“Why did you bring her here? Or, I guess a better way to ask that is, why did you ask her to move here with you?”

Ali looked at the dance floor. Ashlyn was laughing about something with Carli and Tobin. ”Because I fell for her. Because I wanted us to be together. Because she makes me happy.”

“What about her makes you happy?”

Ali thought for a second and then said, “I love that she’s the sweetest person. I love that she cares about me. I love that she thinks of me and puts me first often. I love that she loves life, and that she is adventurous, and she was willing to come on an adventure with me, to take a chance on moving to a new city, somewhere she’s never been, for me.”

“That’s a lot of good reasons”, Megan said. “Look Kriegs, I’m asking because, well, you fell for her, and obviously she fell for you, since she move all the way out here for you. I just…I think you need to think about all of those reasons, and you should make your relationship with her the priority in your life."

“I do. I mean, when I’m not working, I’m with her”, Ali said. “And, as soon as this project at work calms down, I’ll have more time”.

“But it might never calm down, Kriegs. There’s always going to be another project. You're only going up the corporate ladder. More and more people are going to want something from you. It's going to get busier, not slower. I think you need to figure out where you’re willing to draw the line in your work/life balance.”

“Look, Pinoe, it’s Friday night, and I actually have a night off, and I don’t want to get into a deep discussion about this right now, alright?” Ali said firmly. “It was really cool of her to move here for me-“

“But you wouldn’t move for her?” Megan interrupted her.

“Stop, Pinoe”, Ali fired back. "What - have you guys like secretly talked, or something? Are you like taking her side now?"

"Side?!" Megan said. "No! Kriegs - I'm not taking her side on anything, and no, we haven't talked in secret. I'm taking your side. I want things to work out for you, and right now, I can tell you that she's not a hundred percent happy."

Ali looked at Megan and then took a breath to cool off. "Look, I’m not opposed to moving, but I just have so much here, and I’d have to do a lot of planning. I mean, I would be leaving everything. My job, my mom, you guys. Plus. I was born and raised here, and I love it here.”

“But if you moved for her, she would be there for you, wherever you ended up moving to, Hawaii or whatever. Just like you should be there for her, now that she’s here.”

Ali looked right at Megan. Megan was overbearing at times, but Ali had always valued her thoughts, and Megan was always able to get Ali to think about the tough issues in her life, even if she didn't want to. Plus, when things got tough in Ali's life, Megan was the person who Ali would call on for help and advice. Ali sighed and then said, “Look, Pinoe, I just don’t know, and honestly - I’m struggling right now, mentally. I feel like something is changing in me, or something weird is happening. I mean, two months ago, all I could think about was getting to the top of the Digitalworks food chain. I've worked my entire career with that one goal in mind. Then, I go to Hawaii, I meet Ashlyn, and now I start thinking like, maybe that's not what I want. And right now, I’m on the biggest project of my career, I've got Pam and my boss pushing me, and I find myself thinking about other things when I should be focusing on work.” 

Megan looked at Ali. She could see a struggle in Ali's eyes, something she had never seen before. Ali had always been so focused on rising up the corporate ladder. “Kriegs, like I said before, you can always find another job. You can find more friends. But, in the 15 years I’ve known you, you never found that special someone. I would think that making your relationship with Ashlyn work should be the most important thing for you. I mean, you could have ended up in a relationship with someone like you, who works a high-powered job in a downtown office, who understands the workload you have. But that's not how things ended up. You fell for Ashlyn, and she fell for you, and she moved all the way here so you two could be together.”

“Pinoe-“ Ali cut in.

“No – just listen, Kriegs”, Megan rolled on. "I know you’re busy, but you need to spend more time with her. It bothers her that you’re not around as much as she’d like you to be. She brought it up multiple times at dinner, and I could see it in her eyes, and I could hear it in her voice when she spoke." Ali gave Megan the 'I've heard enough for right now' look, so Megan wrapped it up. "Look - I understand that real life is real life, and there are bills and stuff, but it seems like you've got some thinking to do. I'll leave it at this: you need to figure out what is most important to you. And I would say that you need to make her your first priority. Otherwise, you shouldn’t have brought her here, and you may lose her if you don't start taking being there for her more." Megan looked Ali straight in the eye. "And Kriegs - I like her. She seems really sweet. And you seem to like her a whole lot too. So, you know, don't fuck it up", she said, and she smiled at Ali.

Ali thought as she looked at the dance floor. Ashlyn waved at her and smiled, and Ali smiled back and motioned that she would join her soon. This is unchartered territory for me, Ali thought. Yes, Ashlyn may have moved away physically to a new land for me, but emotionally this is new territory for me. I’ve worked my whole adult life to get to the top, and now that I am getting there, I’m not sure if that’s still the most important thing in my life. This whole thing is confusing, Ali thought. I just don’t know what to do.

“Hey”, Megan said. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I was just thinking”, Ali said.

“Sorry if I bummed you out. I didn't mean to bring the mood down." Megan paused for a moment and then said, "Look – you’re my best friend. I just…I just want you to be happy. And she makes you happy. I can tell. Anyway, you know how I get sometimes…overbearing mother hen”, Megan smiled and pointed with both hands towards herself.

Ali snapped out of her deep thinking and smiled. She could never stay annoyed at her best friend for long. “Hey, I’m fine. Thanks for the chat. Let’s go dance”, she said and lead Megan back to the dance floor.


	19. Chapter 19

Ashlyn woke up to an empty bed. She wiped the sleep from her eyes and then got up, put on a T-shirt, and walked to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. Ali was talking on the phone in her crisp business voice. She looked over at Ashlyn and winked at her. Ashlyn, her eyes still half closed and her hair still mussed up from sleeping and last night’s after hours activities, blew Ali a sleepy I-just-got-out-of-bed kiss. 

“…in as much as we can ascertain what they are looking for, I think we need to perform a deeper dive on our capabilities presentation, as well as revisit the creative work to make sure that it ladders up to the overall strategy …”

Ashlyn sipped her coffee at the dining room table and watched Ali as she paced around the living room, phone in one hand, documents in the other. God, she’s smart, Ashlyn thought. I don’t even know what she’s talking about, and I can tell she’s smart. Or maybe it’s just that, when she’s talking business, she sounds like a smart person from a movie. No, she’s smart. She’s smart, and she’s take-charge, and she’s passionate, and damn, I just want to grab her right now and drag her back into bed, Ashlyn thought.

“Sorry, babe”, Ali said as she hung up. She walked over and kissed Ashlyn good morning, then grabbed a cup of coffee for herself and sat down at the dining room table. “I had to give Carli some more direction on our project. I know I said I wasn’t going to work this weekend, but I needed to do a few small things, so I thought I’d do them this morning while you were still asleep.”

“Okay”, Ashlyn said, “As long as you don’t have to work now that I’m awake.”

“No”, Ali laughed, “I don’t. No working while you are awake.” She leaned in to Ashlyn and gave her a kiss. “Plus, remember I told you I wanted to take you somewhere today? Well, I still want to if you are up for it.”

“Where?” Ashlyn perked up. An adventure in her new city with her girlfriend.

“Let’s just say, it’s kind of like the equivalent of the island drive that you took me on”, Ali said, mysteriously.

“Sounds fun.” Ashlyn looked at Ali then smiled. “Can we shower first?”

“Yeah, go ahead. We have time. I need to send out a few more emails anyway.”

“No, beautiful.” Ashlyn looked at Ali. “I said, can we shower. Like, together?”

Ali smiled, then stood up. She got off her chair and straddled Ashlyn. She looked down into Ashlyn’s eyes and then gave her a deep kiss.

“Okay, stud, we can shower together", Ali said, and then grimaced. "Just make sure that you also brush your teeth, Ms. Coffee and Morning Breath”, Ali teased. Ashlyn pouted at her in mock offense, and then tickled her sides. Ali shrieked and then hopped off Ashlyn, laughing, and Ashlyn chased her into the bathroom.

 

********

 

After their prolonged shower, they got dressed in casual wear and left the apartment. They jumped in Ali’s BMW, which rarely left the parking garage of the apartment building, and headed north along Lake Shore Drive.

“Nice car, Al”, Ashlyn said, as she alternated between looking around the interior and taking in the view of the lake to her right.

“Thanks, babe. Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth keeping, since I really don’t drive that much, but it’s nice to have it for little adventures like this.” They drove for another 40 minutes. Ashlyn took in the view as the neighborhoods shifted through Uptown, Rogers Park, and Evanston, into Wilmette and then Kenilworth. “Welcome to the north shore, stud. Or, at least, the north shore of Chicago.” Ashlyn stared out the window at the large houses with artfully manicured lawns as Ali drove up Sheridan Road. Ali took a left onto Winnetka Avenue and said, “This is Winnetka, the suburb I grew up in”. She drove for a few more blocks and then parked the car. They were in front of a large building that took up a whole block.

“This is my old high school. New Trier Township. Home of the Trevians. Whut whut!” Ali raised the roof with her hands, and Ashlyn laughed.

“Wow! Is this a college? This place is huge!” Ashlyn exclaimed.

Ali laughed. “No, it’s a high school. But it is big. When I was here, the student body was like 4000 kids.”

“Jeez”, Ashlyn said. Her school was about a tenth of that size, and it looked like a shack compared to this.

“Come on”, Ali said as she got out of the car. She popped the trunk, and Ashlyn got out and walked over.

“Are you serious?” Ashlyn said as Ali took out a soccer ball.

“What’s wrong, stud – don't think you can handle me?” Ali asked and raised her eyebrows in challenge.

“Oh, I’m gonna “handle” you, alright, little-miss-captain-of the-soccer-team”, Ashlyn said as Ali closed the trunk and led them onto the school soccer field. They kicked the ball around for a few minutes in the middle of the field, and then Ali initiated a little one-on-one.

“Ready, stud?” Ali taunted as she came towards Ashlyn. Ashlyn jockeyed, but Ali faked right, turned left on a dime and skirted around her. She launched the ball into the empty net behind Ashlyn. “BAM! One-nothing”, she boasted.

“Like I’m a defender”, Ashlyn snorted. “Let’s see you put that ball in the goal when I’m actually in goal, princess”, she said to Ali as she grabbed the ball from the back of the net. She launched the ball over Ali’s head, forcing Ali to run sixty yards after it.

“Oh, you jerk!” Ali yelled, then started after the ball.

“Try it now, princess!” Ashlyn yelled, as Ali ran down the ball.

Ali collected the ball and started towards Ashlyn. “Alright, stud, here I come!”

“Come and get it”, Ashlyn yelled, readying herself in the goal.

Ali dribbled down the field, announcing herself as she went. “Here comes Krieger up the right side, beats one defender, beats two defenders…” She got about 22 yards out and rifled a shot, high far post corner…curving inward…it looked good. “And Krieger rips a sho-“ Ali began, but stopped mid-sentence as Ashlyn leapt like a spider monkey across the net and punched the ball wide.

“And Harris with the save!” Ashlyn yelled. “Denied!” she said, making an “X” mark with her arms. She stuck out her tongue at Ali and then and blew her a kiss.

“Damn!” Ali said. She scoffed and ran to get the ball.

“Try again, princess”, Ashlyn taunted. Ali grabbed the ball, took it back to the 50 yard line, and then started towards goal, announcing herself again.  
“And here comes Krieger again, up the middle this time, beats one defender, beats two, beats three, going high…” she pointed to the upper left corner and then sidestepped the ball and kicked it with the outside of her right foot into the low right corner. Ashlyn, momentarily thrown off, dove after it, but she was too late. The ball slid past her and found the net as she tumbled across the grass.

“Gooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllll”, Ali yelled, putter her arms in the air. “The crowd goes wild! New Trier wins the game!”

“Whatever”, Ashlyn said as she retrieved the ball from the back of the net. “You were like, well inside the 18.”

“So why didn’t you stop me?” Ali challenged.

“You know what? The next time you come in my box, I will”, Ashlyn said with certainty, as she kicked the ball to Ali.

Ali stared at Ashlyn. “Really, babe? Did you just say what I think you just said?”

“Oh my God”, Ashlyn said, realizing it. “That’s disgusting, Ali Krieger. Get your mind out of the gutter, beautiful”, Ashlyn said back, and they both laughed.

“Alright”, Ali said and started again as Ashlyn set herself just in front of the goal line. “Here comes Krieger, beats one defender, beats two, beats three…” Ali was inside the 18 and heading towards the goal. “Beats four, she’s all alone in the box, will the keeper stop her…” she said as she got to about ten yards out.

Ashlyn pounced, throwing her body sideways to cover as much horizontal area as possible. Ali tried to sneak the ball under Ashlyn and jump over her. The ball went under, but Ali jumped just a bit too low and came toppling down on Ashlyn. Ashlyn caught Ali as she came down, and the two women ended up tangled together in the grass, Ali on top of Ashlyn.

“Nice try, beautiful”, Ashlyn said. Her face was six inches from Ali’s.

Ali looked up and saw that the ball had actually rolled into the goal. “Hey – it went in!” she said, excitedly. “Scooooooooooooooooooooorrrrreeee!” Ashlyn looked over, saw the ball in the back of the next, and pouted. Ali took Ashlyn’s head in her hands, turned it back to hers, and kissed her pouting lips.

“Damn”, Ashlyn said after their kiss, still pouting slightly. “I could have used a defender.”

Ali looked at her and said, “Babe – that would be me”, and smiled.

Ashlyn smiled back, then gave Ali a long kiss. “Actually, I’m the one who scored”, she said and lightly touched Ali’s nose with her finger.

Ali giggled. “Hey, c’mon. I want to see if we can get inside. We’re sweaty, and we could use a shower”, Ali said, arching her eyebrows suggestively. Ashlyn laughed, and Ali got up off Ashlyn, helped her up, and lead her by the hand off the field. They walked up to the front door of the high school and found it locked, so they continued around the perimeter of the building, and then Ali remembered something. She walked up to a nondescript side door near the school’s tennis courts and pulled on it. It opened.

“Nice!” Ali exclaimed. “They used to never lock this door when I went to school here. I guess they still don’t lock it. Come on, stud”, she said and pulled Ashlyn in by the hand. They headed down a corridor, past an indoor track and weight room.

“Jesus, you guys have a soccer field, tennis courts, an indoor track and a weight room? What’s up, fancy health club!” Ashlyn looked around in awe as they walked hand-in-hand through the school. “What kind of high school is this?”

Ali looked over at Ashlyn and smiled, then looked down at their hands, fingers interlocked. She thought about what it would have been like to walk down the halls hand in hand with Ashlyn back when she was in high school, and she smiled at the thought. “C’mon, babe”, Ali said. She took led her through a pair of double doors into the locker room.

“Well, this is it. The New Trier Township High School Girl’s Locker Room”, Ali said, as they walked through the maze of lockers. “And this”, Ali said, stopping at locker 243, “was my locker”. 

“Nice”, Ashlyn said. She turned to Ali. “Do you have a Jacuzzi in this locker room, little-miss-rich-girl?”

“No, ass, we don’t”, Ali said, as she took Ashlyn’s other hand and guided her onto a bench. She laid Ashlyn down and straddled her, then leaned down and gave her a deep kiss. “But we do have showers for when we’re done”, she said, as she started to unbutton Ashlyn’s shirt.

   
********

 

After they left the high school, Ali got back onto Sheridan Road, and about a mile later she slowed the car and pointed at a house on the lake side of the street. “That’s the house I grew up in”, she said. Ashlyn stared at the house, and her jaw dropped. It was a five bedroom, four bath Colonial style mansion. “I haven’t been by here in years”, Ali said.

“Oh my God. You lived there?” Ashlyn asked Ali.

“Yep, born and raised until my father passed away and my mom and I had to move.”

“Jeez, that house is huge”, Ashlyn said as she looked at Ali’s old house and then looked around the view outside the car. “All of these houses are huge.”  
“Ash, you have big houses in Hawaii, too. I’ve seen them”.

“Not where I grew up”, Ashlyn said, still looking out the window.

Ali looked at Ashlyn and tried to read her thoughts. She was hoping that Ashlyn was enjoying the tour, much as Ali had enjoyed her tour of Oahu’s north shore, but, for some reason, she got the feeling that Ashlyn had just become uncomfortable. Either uncomfortable or intimidated, or something to that nature. She had seemed a bit awestruck when Ali had showed her the high school, but fine otherwise, until they had pulled up to Ali’s old house. They sat in front of the house for a moment longer, and then Ali put the car in drive and they continued on.

“So, what do you think of your tour of the north shore? Well, I should say, the north shore of Chicago.” Ali looked at Ashlyn and smiled.

Ashlyn looked at Ali. She had grown up privileged, Ashlyn thought. Way more privileged than me. There was nothing wrong with that, Ashlyn said to herself, and she believed it. Ali was the most wonderful person in the world. She didn’t exhibit any of the negative stereotypes that one would associate with people who grew up rich. But, despite that, Ashlyn couldn’t help one thought from entering her mind. Am I good enough for her? I mean, this woman grew up wealthy, in a huge house, went to a privileged school, went to college, and has a high-powered job in a large office building downtown. She’s smart and driven to succeed, and she is surrounded by people at work who are just like her. I went to a school that looks like a shack, never went to college, I don’t know what I’m doing with my life, and I pour drinks for drunk people for a quarter of the money that Ali makes. I know that money and power isn’t everything, but really…am I good enough for her? What does she see in me? Why did she fall for me? As Ashlyn continued to stare at Ali, her mind started to spin, and another thought came to her. I’m sure I’m going to meet her family sooner or later. What will they think of me?  
“He stud - you okay?” Ali asked Ashlyn. 

Ashlyn blinked and came to. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine”, Ashlyn answered. She didn’t want to get into her thoughts with Ali, so she followed up with, “Um, the tour was…wonderful…” she said, “especially the visit to the high school”. Ashlyn smiled at Ali and took Ali’s free hand as Ali drove back towards the city. Ali knew something was bothering Ashlyn, but she decided not to pry right now. She would bring it up later. For now, she was just going to try to enjoy the day.


	20. Chapter 20

Ashlyn was at home, making dinner for her and Ali. It was Friday evening, and Ashlyn was scheduled to work at 8pm. Ali had been working a lot lately, and they hadn’t seen much of each other since their trip to the north shore of Chicago almost two weeks ago, but Ali had promised Ashlyn that she would come home in time to have dinner together before Ashlyn had to leave for work. Ashlyn was preparing fried rice for dinner, which is one of the few things she made well, when her phone rang.

“Hey beautiful”, she said.

“Hi babe”, Ali said. “Listen – I’m really super sorry, but it looks like I’m going to have to stay late again.”

Ashlyn frowned into the phone. “Awww…Ali, really? We’re supposed to have dinner together. We haven’t spent time together in like two weeks. You promised you would be home this evening, so we could eat dinner together before had to I go to work.”

“I know, babe, and I’m really, really sorry.”

“God, Ali – I’m almost done cooking. I was really looking forward to cooking for you for once and having you home for dinner.”

“Babe, look –“ Ali was about to get into how busy the pitch was keeping her at work, but then she realized that Ashlyn wouldn’t care. At the same time, Ashlyn cut her off.

“You know what – it’s fine. I understand that you’re busy. I guess I just…I don’t know. Maybe if I would have known, I wouldn’t have started cooking”, Ashlyn said. That was true, but what she really meant to say was, “I wish you were home more, and when you tell me you’re going to be home, I want you to be home, because it sucks when I get my hopes up and then you don’t come home.” She didn’t say that because she knew Ali felt bad, and she knew Ali was under a lot of stress, but she made a mental note to bring it up sometime later, maybe after this damn pitch thing Ali was working on was done.

“Look, Ash – I’m so sorry. I really am.”

Ashlyn sighed. “It’s okay”, she said, disappointment obvious in her voice. “Again, I understand you’re busy. I guess I’ll see you…well, when I see you”, she said, and hung up the phone.

“I lov-“ Ali was going to say “I love you”, but she realized that Ashlyn had hung up. She put down her phone and stared at the ground in the hallway outside her of office. She felt horrible. She had been working early morning to ten or eleven at night for the past two weeks, and with Ashlyn working nights at Mother’s and not getting home until 2 or 3am, they had barely seen each other. Ali had promised Ashlyn earlier this week that she would be home for dinner tonight. She could hear the disappointment in her girlfriend’s voice just now, and she wondered just how much longer Ashlyn was going to tell her “it’s okay” and “I understand” before she blew up on her. Ali shuddered at that thought and thought to herself, “I really have to be there more for her. Or, at the very least, for right now, when I say I’m going to be home for dinner, then I’m going to be home for dinner.” She sighed, then straightened her shoulders and walked back into her office. Pam was working away on the presentation deck.

“Had to call the ball and chain, huh?” Pam said, not looking up.

“Pam, please”, Ali said. 

“How is your hula dancing girlfriend?”

“She’s fine. Well, she’s a little upset that I won’t be home for dinner tonight.”

“Awww, that’s too bad”, Pam said, sarcastically. “Looks like she’ll have to eat pineapple all by herself.”

“Pam, knock it off”, Ali said, a little more firmly.

“Hey, I get it. She’s cute. My uncle has a trophy wife. Looks great on his arm. Apparently she’s great in the sack. I mean, what’s not to like?”

“Pam! Stop!” Ali raised her voice. She was already upset over upsetting Ashlyn, and she didn’t need Pam’s sarcasm right now. “She’s not a trophy wife. That’s my girlfriend, and I love her. I told you to talk nicely about her around me, so lighten up on the attitude.”

“Attitude!?” Pam stood up. “You think I’ve got an attitude? Well, what’s with you’re attitude?” Pam walked up to Ali and stood a foot from her face.

“What the hell are you talking about, Pam?” Ali lashed back.

“I’ll tell you what I’m talking about. You’re attitude has sucked since you got back from Hawaii!” Pam paused and then continued. “What’s up with you lately, Ali? You don’t seem focused. You don’t seem determined. You’re totally distracted. You don’t seem like you care about this project. You’re blowing off time you need to be spending working with me to go play with your little island hottie.”

"Pam", Ali said, "I've been working like 12-14 hours a day. So I took a bit of time off last weekend. Big fucking deal".

"This isn't a 9-5 job, Ali. People don't make it in this business just working the bare minimum." Pam stared at Ali for a moment and then continued. “You know, before you left for that conference, you were like 110 percent focused on climbing to the top. Just like me. We talked about getting there together, remember? You and me. Together. Ever since we started working together, two years ago, we’ve talked about going to the top together, and nothing was going to stop us. Now, we’ve been handed this goldmine of a project, the biggest project of either of our careers, and you’re acting like you don’t give a shit! I’m focused, and I’m committed, and you’re not! Where’s the Ali I knew two months ago? ‘Cause that’s the one I want on this project!”

“Pam, look-“

“No, Ali! You look! You look me in the eye, and tell me honestly that you’re just as focused and determined as you were before you left for that fucking conference in La-La-land. And, if you can look me in the eye and honestly tell me that you’re committed as much as I am, 110 percent, to this project, I’ll fucking throw myself out of this window 40 floors down onto Michigan Avenue! Go ahead! Tell me!” Pam glared at Ali with fire in her eyes.

Ali stared back. Pam was right, she thought. I haven’t been as focused as I was. I don’t know if I care as much as I used to about climbing to the top. In fact, I’m not sure what my priorities are anymore. I just don’t know. I’m so confused. I’m trying to straddle the line and make everyone happy, and in turn I feel like I’m making no one happy. My girlfriend is mad at me, my work partner is mad at me, and my boss has expectation that I’m not sure I want to meet. I just don’t know what to do anymore. Ali took a deep breath and then smiled slightly at Pam and dropped her shoulders. “Look, Pam, you’re right. And I’m sorry. I-I haven’t been as focused as I was before I left. You know, having Ashlyn here…it’s just been a big adjustment in my life, and she’s important to me, and I want her to be happy, and it’s something I have to put time into, but there’s only so many hours in the day, and I feel like I just can’t do everything that everyone wants me to do, and I'm being pulled in too many directions, and I just can’t please everyone and make everyone happy…” Ali started rambling.

“Hey – I get it”, Pam said, and put her hand up. “And I didn’t mean to yell at you. But look at things from my point of view. You’ve got a new girlfriend, and maybe that‘s great for you, but that has nothing to do with me. I’ve got a project right now, the most important project of my career, and I’ve got a boss who is expecting big results from both me and you, and I’ve got a partner who I was really looking forward to working with on this project, and who I’ve talked with about climbing to the top together. But now, this partner doesn’t seem like she gives a shit, even though she told me two months ago that someday we were going to be on the cover of Fortune 500 together. How do you think that makes me feel, Ali? Huh?” Ali looked down, so Pam rolled on. “I’ll tell you how that makes me feel – I feel let down, Ali. I feel like you’re letting me down, and I want my partner back, the one that, up until her trip to Hawaii, used to push me and inspire me, and the one that I thought was always going to be there for me, and the one that I thought I would build a career with.”

Ali looked at Pam and sighed. “Pam, I admit", Ali said, her head swirling with thoughts. "I haven’t been focusing on this project as much as I should be, and I-I-I...need to be more committed.”

Pam’s face softened, and she lightly grabbed Ali’s arms. “Look, Ali - I need this project to be successful. And so do you. Landing the Kensington account would be a big win for both of us. It could push us both to the next level.” She looked Ali in the eyes. “Think about your future, Ali. Your future is to be the CEO of a top marketing agency one day. Mine is to be your partner – chief operations officer, managing director, whatever. Look - I’ve worked my entire career with one goal – to get to the top. And I want to get there with you. And you told me that you wanted that, too – to get there with me. That’s our goal, Ali – a partnership, a future together. And that future won’t happen if we’re not focused, not determined, and not committed. You need to get your priorities straight and get your head back in the game, and put our careers first. People don’t make it in this world by blowing off work to go hang with some island chick.”

Ali looked at Pam. She was going to say something about Pam’s last jab at Ashlyn, but she decided that was small potatoes compared to the larger issue at hand right now, which was that Pam didn't think that Ali was giving it her all on this project. Ali knew that she wasn’t giving Ashlyn her all in their relationship, either, and part of Ali wanted to be able to tell Pam that her heart just wasn't in it anymore, that she really didn't care as much as she used to about getting to the top of the corporate world, and that her relationship with Ashlyn was the most important think in her life, but there was something about Pam’s ambition and determination that made those words stick in Ali's throat. Perhaps it may be because seeing Pam fired up reminded Ali of how she herself used to be – focused, ambitious, and determined. Just a few months ago, she had thought: the whole world is mine for the taking, and there's nothing that will stand in my way. I used to love that feeling, Ali thought, and it made her think about how motivated she used to be to succeed. Seeing Pam's determination triggered something in Ali to want to jump back on the horse and climb to the top of the world. She smiled at Pam and said, “Hey, Pam - I appreciate the talk. My priorities are straight. I’m good to go.” She then looked Pam in the eye and said, "Just one thing, though - no more snide comments about Ashlyn, alright?"

“Fine. Good”, Pam said and smiled back. Her hands lingered on Ali’s arms, and then she slid her hands down to grab Ali’s. She took Ali’s hands and held them. Pam had never done that before, and Ali thought the gesture was a bit too intimate, but given the talk they just had, she let it slide. Pam came a bit closer to Ali and stopped just short of Ali’s face. She looked at Ali and said, “I’m glad I got my running partner back.” Ali continued to smile, and Pam leaned in a bit closer and, in a voice that was almost an intimate whisper, said, “Let’s go win this thing.” Then she winked at Ali, backed up, let go of Ali’s hands, and motioned for Ali to sit down at her own desk. Ali took a deep breath, exhaled, and put on her game face. They sat down and went back to work.

 

********

 

Ashlyn was setting up the bar. This was her favorite time, when the bar was empty. The quiet before the storm. This place was busier than she thought it would be, and once she got slammed, it just never stopped. Plus, people here seemed more impatient. They had to get their drinks immediately. It wasn’t like back home, where people would wait patiently for their drinks. It was like, people here weren’t necessarily mean, but everyone wanted something in a hurry. I guess that's just Chicago, Ashlyn thought. Life is just faster paced here, and I guess that applies to getting your drink on as well as everything else.  
Ashlyn was stacking glasses when she heard the side door to the alley open. She heard the sound of heavy equipment being loaded in, and she looked up and saw that the band had arrived. She watched them as they hauled their gear onto the stage and started setting up. They looked like a typical four-piece rock band with the standard rock band lineup – lead vocalist, guitarist, bassist and drummer. Ashlyn noticed, though, that the bassist was an attractive woman, maybe mid-twenties, and she was wearing a black tank top with the word “Grindz” written across the front in red lettering. Ashlyn watched the bassist for a moment longer and then went back to setting up the bar. She was half-listening to the band tune up and was stacking shot glasses when she heard a cheerful voice.

“Hey there!”

Ashlyn looked up. It was the bassist from the band. She had long, brown hair and tan skin. She wore a black choker, the black Grindz tank top, a leather wristband, a studded leather belt, a black leather skirt, black fishnets, and black high heeled leather boots. She looked very rock n’ roll.

“May I get a soda from you, please?”

Ashlyn was struck by her politeness. Judging by her looks, she figured this woman would have at least a bit of a rock star attitude, but she had a nice voice and had asked Ashlyn very politely for a non-alcoholic drink. In fact, Ashlyn thought, this might be the nicest person I’ve met in this bar since I started working here, two and a half weeks ago. She smiled at the woman and said, “Absolutely”. She handed the woman a soda.

“And, whatever you’re drinking”, the woman said and smiled.

Ashlyn laughed slightly. “I uh, actually don’t drink when I‘m on duty”, she explained, politely turning down the offer.

“Well, I don’t either. I mean, when I perform. I don’t drink alcohol when I perform.”

“I guess that makes two of us”, Ashlyn said.

“So, can I buy you a soda?” The woman said and smiled. Ashlyn smiled back and then poured herself a soda.

“Cheers”, the woman said and raised her glass. “To…not drinking when we work”. The woman smiled, and she and Ashlyn clinked glasses.

“I’m Christen”, the woman said, and stuck out her hand.

Ashlyn shook it. “Nice to meet you, Christen. I’m Ashlyn. So, where are you from, Christen?”

“I’m from California. L.A. area. Palos Verdes, to be exact. How did you know I’m not from here?”

“You said ‘soda’. Everyone here says ‘pop’.”

Christen laughed. “I know, right? I just can’t bring myself to say that word. It sounds so silly.”

“I agree”, Ashlyn said and laughed.

“Wait, where are you from? You don’t sound like you’re from here. I hear an accent.”

“I’m from Hawaii”, Ashlyn said.

“No way! I thought maybe that’s where your accent was from. My sister Channing went to school at UH. She graduated last year. I visited her once when she was there. It’s a magical place. Anyway, she got me this shirt. She tells me “grinds” is the local term there for good food.“

“Yup, she’s right. I actually noticed your shirt when you walked in.” She smiled at Christen. ”It reminded me of home.“

“Oh yeah?" Christen smiled back. "Do you miss it there?”

“Yeah. I do”.

“When did you move here?”

“Not too long ago.”

“And…what brought you here?”

“I actually moved here to be with my girlfriend”.

“Oh.” Christen’s voice dropped a bit, but she picked right back up. “And where is she tonight?”

“She’s working.”

“Oh, she works nights too? Does she work at a bar as well?”

“Actually, she works in marketing.”

Christen furrowed her brows. “Really? She works in marketing and she’s working on a Friday night? Hmmm. My sister works in marketing. She usually doesn’t work weekend nights. She usually works like normal people hours, like 9-5 or 6 Monday through Friday.”

“Well, I thought that’s the way it was supposed to be for my girlfriend, too, when I moved here to be with her. But she’s working on a big project, so she's been working a lot of hours lately.”

“Well, that’s a bummer. I mean, you guys probably don’t get to see each other that much then, with her working that much and you working nights, huh?”  
Ashlyn felt weird. She usually wouldn’t talk about this with a stranger, but for some reason Christen was very easy to talk with. ”No, not really. I mean, we haven’t seen much of each other at all in the last two weeks. Actually, we haven’t seen much of each other ever since I moved here. The lame part about that is, I moved here to be with her.”

Christen frowned. “And she couldn’t take a Friday night off to come down and hang out with you?”

“No, I guess not”.

Christen shook her head. “I don’t know – sometimes I think people in corporate land need to loosen up a bit and relax more, you know? Always running the rat race.” Christen and Ashlyn both laughed. This woman and I are on the same page with that, Ashlyn thought.

“Yeah, I hear you. I mean, I keep trying to tell her that, but, I don’t know – she’s just so focused on ‘winning this big pitch’ thing she’s working on”.

“Awww, that sucks”, Christen said, sympathetically. “Well hey – after I’m done playing, and you’re done working, maybe we can have a drink. Like, an actual alcoholic one. You know, just a good drink and good company”. Christen smiled.

Ashlyn thought for a second and then said, “Yeah. I’d like that”. She smiled back.

“Awesome! Hey – what do I owe you for the ‘pops’”, Christen said, and they both laughed.

“Nothing. Those are on me.”

“Okay, well, I’ll get the next round.”

“Alright. I’ll hold you to that”, Ashlyn said and winked.

“Well, I’ll let you get back to work.” Christen smiled. “Thanks again.”

“You’re welcome.” Ashlyn said. Christen started to walk back towards the stage. “Hey!” Ashlyn called. Christen turned around. “Break a leg. I’ll be watching from here”, Ashlyn said and smiled. Christen smiled back, then turned around and walked towards the stage. Ashlyn remained smiling and stared at her for a moment longer, then went back to her setup.

 

********

 

“Hey Ashlyn, how’d your night go?” Christen asked. “It was busy, huh?”

“My God, yes”, Ashlyn nodded and rolled her eyes. It was 4am and the bar was closing down. It had been packed since ten, and Ashlyn had been slammed the entire night.

“You still want to get that drink?” Christen asked.

“Yes, definitely", Ashlyn said, emphatically nodding her head. "Actually, Christen, is there a place you know of that had food as well as drinks?” Ashlyn realized she hadn’t eaten since lunch. She had been so upset that Ali had called to say that she wasn’t going to be home for dinner that she couldn’t eat and had thrown the fried rice she had been making into the trash.

“Yep. I know a good low-key place. Diner style that serves beers. It’s quiet. Does that work for you?”

“Sounds wonderful.”

“Okay, let me load the rest of my gear and we’ll rock out of here”, Christen said with a smile.

“I can help you if you want”, Ashlyn offered.

“Oh. That’d be great. Thank you”, Christen said appreciatively. They loaded the rest of Christen’s gear into her car and left the bar. Christen drove for about ten minutes and then parked the car.

“Hollywood Grill, huh?” Ashlyn said as they walked up to the diner.

“Yup. Best place to grab a beer and a Polish sausage after hours.” Christen smiled and held the door open for Ashlyn. They were seated at a window booth, and the waitress brought them menus and two beers.

“Cool place”, Ashlyn said, as they sipped their beers.

“Yeah, I like it. We come here sometimes as a band after shows.”

“You guys were great by the way”, Ashlyn said. They were kind of like a cross between Green Day and Smashing Pumpkins, Ashlyn thought. It was a rocking sound, and Christen was a really good bassist.

“Thanks. I really appreciate that.” Christen smiled at Ashlyn. She has a nice smile, Ashlyn thought. And a sweet personality.

“So”, Ashlyn had to ask. “Do you have a boyfriend…or a girlfriend?” Christen didn’t say anything, so Ashlyn followed up with, “Or maybe, being a rock star and all, you’d just rather be single.”

Christen smiled shyly and then said, “No. I was seeing someone until recently. We broke up about a month ago.”

“Awww, I’m sorry to hear that. What happened, if you don’t mind my asking?”

“No, it’s fine. She said I was too unfocused, not serious enough with my life. She's a financial planner. Has a job in a big office building downtown, makes good money, you know - that kind of thing. She said that I didn’t have enough ambition or direction. Like, I'm 26, I should be thinking about getting a real job, as opposed to just playing music, yada yada yada. It was kind of like, she was really into dating a musician at first, but then when things got more serious, well…I don’t know. I guess she just didn’t see a future with me."

“Yeah, I hear you”, Ashlyn said. “It’s like, for some reason, if you don’t have a high powered job in the corporate world, then society looks at you like you’re somehow less of a person, or something.”

“Exactly”, Christen said. "I mean, I think we should enjoy life, do what we want, and not be so concerned with making it to the top and constantly spinning our wheels in the rat race. You know what I mean?”

Ashlyn looked at Christen. What she said mirrored a thought in her head. Ali was so concerned with climbing the corporate ladder. Why couldn’t she just be content with enjoying life, like the woman I met in Hawaii? Ashlyn had thought that she would rub off on Ali, maybe bring some carefree spirit with her to Chicago and instill it into Ali’s life. But, it seemed like Ali was more concerned with landing her damn pitch than spending time with Ashlyn. Ashlyn thought for a moment, and then another thought entered her mind. What if I had known that this was what life here would be like? Would I have still come? And then another thought. What if Ali really isn’t the person that I thought she was when I showed up at Ali’s hotel room, pledging my love to Ali and agreeing to move to Chicago with her? What if, after this project is done, Ali does end up putting priority on her career over their life together? Will I still love Ali? Will I still want to stay with Ali? And then one more thought. What if I'm not good enough for Ali, or the type of person she really wants? What if Ali really wants someone more motivated, more corporate-minded? Dare I think, someone like Pam? Ashlyn thought. Ali had never said anything, but still, Ashlyn wondered. She looked across the table at the woman staring back at her and thought: It's nice to have someone to talk with. Someone who really understands my point of view that we should be working to live, not living to work. Plus, she's pretty hot, in a rocker-girl kind of way. That doesn't hurt.

“Ashlyn?” Christen asked. Her voice brought Ashlyn back to the present.

“Sorry, I was just thinking about what you said”, Ashlyn said. She looked at Christen and said, “I couldn’t agree more”, and then smiled.

Christen smiled back. She held Ashlyn’s gaze for a moment longer and then cleared her throat, picked up a menu, and said, “So…um…should we order a couple Polish sausages and some fries? And another round of beers?” She looked at Ashlyn and smiled again. “I’m buying.”

Ashlyn looked back at Christen, smiled, and picked up a menu.

 

********

 

“This is it”, Ashlyn said, as Christen’s car pulled up to the apartment. It was just before 6am, and the sky was already turning light.

Christen put the car in park and looked over at Ashlyn. “Hey, I had a really nice time tonight”, she said.

Ashlyn grabbed her purse and looked back at Christen. “Me too”, she said. “Thanks for the meal and the beers.” She leaned her head in a bit and said, "And for the talk. It was really…nice.”

Ashlyn smiled and kept her eyes on Christen. Christen smiled back. She mirrored Ashlyn’s movement and leaned her head in as well. Their faces were less than a foot apart. They sat there like that for a few seconds, and then Christen moved in closer. She paused, less than six inches from Ashlyn’s lips. “I really want to kiss you right now”, she said, in a voice that was barely more than a whisper.

Ashlyn moved in closer. Less than two inches and their lips would meet. They stayed there for a moment, and then Ashlyn looked down. “I’m sorry, I-I-I didn't mean to...”, she said, and pulled back.

“No, it’s okay", Christen said. "I’m sorry. I-I-I was wrong...to try to kiss you. You told me you have a girlfriend, and I…I don’t know. I guess I just felt like we…connected.”

“It’s not your fault”, Ashlyn said. “I mean, we do connect, and you’re, like, pretty hot in your rock star kind of way. I just-“

“Look”, Christen cut her off, “I don’t want to be a homewrecker or anything. I mean, I know we probably shouldn’t hook up, even though I kinda want to, ‘cause, well, you’re totally hot.” She paused for a moment and then looked at Ashlyn and said, “But, can I just tell you something? I think your girlfriend needs to spend more time with you. I mean, I get that work is important to her, but spending time with people who are important in your life is more important." She paused and then said, "I mean, if you were my girlfriend, I wouldn’t leave you alone.” She smiled. Ashlyn smiled back but didn't say anything, so Christen continued. "Hey, I’ve got a show at this club called Double Door in two weeks. I’d love for you to come see me play, but, well…maybe you and your girlfriend need to figure some things out. The next time I see you, if our faces get that close again, I may not leave you alone”, she said and smiled at Ashlyn.

Ashlyn laughed softly. “Yeah, okay.” She looked at Christen, smiled, and then said, “Thanks again. See you around.”

“Bye, Ashlyn”, Christen said softly and smiled back. She waited for Ashlyn to exit the car and get into the apartment building, then drove off, still smiling.


	21. Chapter 21

Ali’s eyes fluttered open. She looked at the clock on her bed stand. 5:18am. She rolled over and reached out to touch Ashlyn but found Ashlyn’s side of the bed empty. That’s weird, she thought. Ashlyn should be home by now. She must be having a really busy night at the bar. Ali stared at Ashlyn’s empty side of the bed and felt a bit forlorn. The truth was that she missed Ashlyn. She didn't see Ashlyn as much as she should, and Ali knew that was on her, but she always loved seeing Ashlyn sleeping next to her when she woke up in the morning. It made her happy to feel Ashlyn’s warmth and to know that, no matter what their schedules were like, they still slept in the same bed together. Ali stared for another moment and then closed her eyes. I need to be up by eight this morning to meet the team in the office for an all-day brainstorming session. On a Saturday. I can’t wait for this pitch to be over, she thought. She sighed and then tried to push the thought of Ashlyn not being there out of her mind so she could get a few more hours of sleep.

 

********

 

Ashlyn’s eyes fluttered open. She looked at the clock on her bed stand. 2:37pm. She laid in bed for a moment, then stretched, got out of bed and walked to the kitchen. She went to make coffee and noticed a note from Ali by the coffee maker, written on a sticky note.

Good morning, sleepyhead =)  
I hope you had a nice night at work  
last night. I’m at the office today.  
Give me a call when you wake up.  
Love you,  
xoxo, Al

That was nice, Ashlyn thought. Ali didn’t usually leave notes like that. Ashlyn made coffee and then dialed Ali’s number on her cellphone.

“Heyyyy babe”, Ali picked up.

“Hey. What’s going on?”

“Just working. Trying to get through this pitch.”

“Okay. You wanted me to call? Thanks for the note by the way", Ashlyn said.

”You’re welcome. And nothing’s going on. I just wanted to say hi and hear your voice.”

“Awww, thanks.” Ashlyn smiled into the phone.

“How was your night last night?”

Ashlyn thought about that. It was actually the most enjoyable night she’d had in a couple weeks. “Um, it was good”, she answered.

“You got home really late. Were you super busy?”

“Um, yeah, uh, it was busy.” Ashlyn wasn’t sure if she wanted to mention that she had gone out after work with the bassist from the band. She felt a bit bad, but she was still a little upset over Ali not coming home for dinner last night. Plus, Ali has everything – her career, her city, her friends, and me, Ashlyn thought, as she looked around the apartment, which was also almost entirely Ali’s, except for a dresser and some clothes. It’s nice to have something that’s actually mine. 

“Well, good. I hope you at least got some sleep today.”

“I did, thanks.”

“Well, I’m going to be here until after dinner is my guess. What time do you work tonight?”

“I have to be there at eight”, Ashlyn said.

“Awww, well, I’m probably not going to see you then today. Are you still good for lunch tomorrow with my mom?”

“Um…yeah, I’m still good.”

“Okay. Well, have a great day”, Ali said.

“You too.”

“I love you, stud.”

“Love you too", Ashlyn said and hung up the phone. She sat at the dining room table, sipping her coffee and thinking. It’s funny that Ali somehow decided to leave me a note for the first time, the day after I went out for a late-night meal with some other girl, Ashlyn thought. Is she psychic? Ashlyn mused and laughed to herself, thinking about how funny it was that sometimes people just seemed to do things out of the blue that just so happened to coincide with something else that they couldn’t possibly have known about. She wondered if somehow people subconsciously knew or felt through some kind of metaphysical interconnectivity that things were happening. Then she laughed to herself over the randomness of that thought, stretched for a moment and then went in the shower.

 

********

 

“Hey, are you okay?” Ali asked Ashlyn. They had just pulled up in Ali’s car outside of Debbie Krieger’s condo in Evanston for lunch. Ali had lived in this condo with her mother while she finished up high school after her father had passed away. Ashlyn was fidgeting in her seat, nervous about meeting Ali’s mother for the first time.

“Uh…yeah”, Ashlyn said, nervously. She had spent most of the morning switching outfits, with Ali telling her not to worry so much. She had settled on a light blue button down shirt and a pair of grey dress pants. She wanted to be dressy enough to make a good impression but conservative enough so as to fit her conception of what Ali's mother would expect and like.

Ali smiled reassuringly at Ashlyn. “It’ll be fine, babe. I mean, Megan and that gang all liked you.”

“I know, but that’s different”, Ashlyn said. “This is your mother.”

“Right…but, I met your family, and that went fine.”

“Sure, but m-“ Ashlyn was about to say, ‘My family isn’t from a rich suburb and they don’t work high-powered corporate jobs, and I’m afraid that your mother is going to look down on me’, but she didn’t want to come off as sounding accusatory or negative, so she said, “my closest relative is my aunt, so it’s not…um…like meeting someone’s mother…” Ashlyn trailed off.

Ali read into what Ashlyn was thinking and figured out what she had started to say. She thought about asking something like, ‘Isn’t meeting someone’s ohana just as important as meeting someone’s mother?’ but she knew Ashlyn was nervous, so she let it slide and decided to stay positive and encouraging. “Look, babe – please don’t worry about what my mom is going to think of you. Just go in and be yourself, and it’ll be fine”, Ali said, even though she wasn’t 100 percent sure that her mom wouldn’t come off as judgmental. “Plus, I’ll be right there, babe. It’s not like you’re going in alone.” She smiled at Ashlyn and squeezed her hand. The truth be told, Ali was nervous as well, but she knew that to minimize Ashlyn's nervousness, she had to mask her own and stay positive.

“Okay, okay”, Ashlyn said. She took a deep breath, exhaled, and looked at Ali. She put on a brave smile and said, “I’m ready.” Ali leaned over, gave her a kiss for encouragement, and they got out of the car. Ali took Ashlyn’s hand, and they walked into the main entrance of the condo building. They took the elevator up three floors and arrived at the condo's front door. Ali still had a key, so she let herself and Ashlyn in.

“Hi Mom. We’re here”, Ali called out. She and Ashlyn stood in the foyer.

Debbie Krieger emerged from the kitchen. She was dressed in her Sunday best and sipping a drink. “Hello, Ali”, she greeted her daughter and kissed her on the cheek. She smiled at her daughter, and then her gaze fell on Ashlyn.

“Uh, Mom, uh, this is Ashlyn." Ali stumbled a bit. It had been a long time since she had introduced a significant other to her mother.

Ashlyn stuck out her hand. “Hi Mrs. Krieger, it’s really nice to meet you”, she said cheerfully.

“Hello Ashlyn”, Debbie said and shook her hand. So far so good, Ashlyn thought. She seems nice enough. Kind of formal and stuffy, but at least she didn’t take a jab at me right away, like Pam did. I hope she likes me. I’m a little intimidated by her formal style, not to mention the fact that she's the mother of my girlfriend to begin with. “Please, both of you, come in and have a seat at the table”, Debbie said. They walked into dining room area and sat at the table. Ashlyn noticed the nice china table set. “Lunch is almost ready. Ali – you can get drinks for yourself and Ashlyn.” Debbie headed back into the kitchen. Ali gave Ashlyn a quick kiss and went into the fridge to grab some iced tea for her and Ashlyn. Debbie emerged a few minutes later with a ham and spinach quiche and a plate of sautéed asparagus. She sat down at the table and started cutting the quiche and serving it onto the fine china plates.  
“So, Ashlyn”, Debbie began. “Ali gave me an overview on how you both met.”

“Uh, yeah, uh, we met in Hawaii", Ashlyn said, not sure what to say.

“So, what were you doing in Hawaii before you followed my daughter to Chicago?”

“Well, Mom, Ashlyn didn’t ‘follow’ me here”, Ali said. “I mean, I asked her to move here with me.”

“Oh. Well, I just figured she followed you here. I mean, asking someone to make a move like that for you after knowing her for only three weeks is pretty impulsive, and that’s not like you, Ali.”

“Mom, I wanted us to be together”, Ali said.

Ashlyn looked at Ali and could tell that Ali was edging towards being annoyed, or upset or both. She could tell that Ali was already on edge, since she had been nervous about this meeting, even though she had tried to play it cool the whole morning. “Um, I was a lifeguard, and I taught surfing lessons and worked on fishing boats”, Ashlyn said, answering the question that Debbie asked her, in an effort to change the subject so Ali would remain in good spirits.  
“Hmmm…that sounds…nice. And what are you doing now?”

“Um, I’m bartending at a club near where we live.”

“You mean where Ali’s apartment is?”

“Mom, it’s Ashlyn’s apartment, too. She lives there with me.”

“And I assume this job is just temporary while you look for something more serious?” Debbie asked.

“Um, I’m not really sure”, Ashlyn answered honestly. “I mean, I’m still trying to find myself in this city…you know, like figure out what I want to do.”

“How old are you, Ashlyn?” Debbie asked.

“Mom, really?” Ali said.

“Ali, it’s okay”, Ashlyn said. “I’m 29.”

“29”, Debbie repeated. “You should have that figured out by now at 29, Ashlyn.”

“Mom, please”, Ali said, more firmly.

Ashlyn paused. She was starting to feel a bit annoyed herself – first Pam and now this woman judging her within the first 5 minutes of meeting her – but she smiled and answered, “Well, I had things figured out in Hawaii, but then I met Ali and, well, you know, things changed, and this was a big move for me." She paused for a moment and then continued. "It's a big move to make, moving across the world for someone", she said, looking at both Debbie and Ali, "so I’m just, you know, trying to adjust.”

Ali smiled at Ashlyn, understanding the point Ashlyn was making to her as well as to her mother. “Ashlyn is doing just fine, Mom. We’re both doing just fine together.”

“Well, bartending is fun, I’m sure. But it’s not a career. There’s no future or security in it”, Debbie said.

“Mom, look - things are going well. I love having Ashlyn here, and that’s the bottom line.”

“No, the bottom line is that anyone with my daughter needs to plan for the future”, Debbie said, looking at Ali and then at Ashlyn.

“Mrs. Krieger - I enjoy bartending, and the money isn’t bad. And, well, Ali makes good money, so money isn’t really a worry for us.”

“Well, that’s what Ali and I thought up until her father passed away, didn’t we, dear?” Debbie said, and looked at Ali. “I’m sure Ali has told you about that tragedy and subsequent hardship.”

“Yes, she did, and I’m sorry.”

“Mom, I have been planning, okay? So don’t worry about that. I make good money, and I have money saved away. I - well, we”, Ali said, and grabbed Ashlyn’s hand, “will be okay if something should happen.”

“Well, good. I’m glad to hear it”, Debbie said. “Because let me tell you, ladies, no matter how much money you have, you never have as much as you think you do. Especially when you have children. You two do want children, right?”

“Mom – stop, please.” Ali put up a hand. “That’s a ways away. Right now, we’re just enjoying being together.” 

Ashlyn sat there and thought for a moment, then said, “I understand planning for the future, Mrs. Krieger, but for me, money isn’t everything. I came from not having a lot of money, and I’ve never had a lot of money, and I’ve never really worried about having a lot of money. I love your daughter, and I will always be there for her, but money isn’t everything to me, and I hope it isn’t everything to her, either.” She looked at Ali.

“Well”, Debbie said, “I just don’t want you two, and your children, to have to go through what Ali and I went through. And I know Ali doesn’t want to go through that again, either. So, Ashlyn, while I don’t require you to be a multimillionaire, you just can’t stay a bartender for the rest of your life.”

“Mom, please – that’s enough.“ Ali was getting upset. Yes, she loved her mother, and yes, her mother had drilled the importance of planning into her head ever since the death of her father, but that didn’t mean she was okay with her mother jumping all over her girlfriend. Ashlyn made her happy in ways no one else did, and even though she was working too much and not seeing her enough, and even though she was still trying to juggle priorities in her head, and even though she agreed with her mother about being prepared for the future, she loved Ashlyn and cared about her. Ali was about to say something about her mother being too judgmental, but Ashlyn gently grabbed her arm and kept her down.

“You know what, Mrs. Krieger, I love your daughter, and I will do what I can to work with her on making sure we have a secure future”, she said, if for no other reason than to quell the argument that was quickly approaching. Inside she thought, it's unfortunate that I don’t see eye to eye with my possible future mother-in-law.

“Good. I'm glad to hear it”, Debbie said and then smiled. “So, who wants coffee?”

 

********

 

“Hey babe, thanks for meeting my mom today,”, Ali said. They were driving back towards the city. "I hope it wasn't too painful."

“It was fine”, Ashlyn said as cheerfully as she could. It hadn’t gone as well as she had hoped, but it certainly hadn’t been terrible, and she didn't want Ali to worry about her not liking Debbie. One of the things that Ashlyn had done before the meeting was temper her expectations, and that, combined with how she viewed meeting a girlfriend’s parents in general, put her in the mindsent that any meeting less than a total disaster was a good start. Actually, she hadn’t met many parents of significant others, since she hadn’t really been in many relationships that had lasted long enough to get to that point. At least not in a long time. At any rate, Debbie Krieger had been nice enough, but Ashlyn was struggling with the thought that Debbie might not deem her worthy of her daughter, and that was a bit offputting.

“So, I have something I’d like to do with you, if you’re up for it.”

‘Oh yeah?” Ashlyn perked up. “What is it?” They jumped onto Lakeshore Drive heading south, passed the apartment, and then rounded the “S” curve and headed past Grant Park towards the south loop. Ali took a left at a huge building that sat on the Lake Michigan shoreline and pulled the car into the parking lot.

“This is the Shedd Aquarium”, Ali said. “I thought maybe you’d like a taste of home”, she said and smiled.

“Oh, cool!” Ashlyn said and smiled back. She liked the fact that Ali was thinking about her. Yes, Ali wasn’t around nearly as much as Ashlyn wanted her to be, and true, Ashlyn had been upset the last time Ali had missed dinner two nights ago, but she loved Ali, and she knew Ali loved her. Ali told her that she thought about Ashlyn all the time when she was working, and Ashlyn believed her, that maybe it was just a matter of getting past the next few weeks until this damn pitch of hers is done, and then things will be better, she hoped. Plus, the weather had warmed up, and that was nice. Warm weather would remind her of home, and she wouldn't feel as couped up in the apartment. Maybe, when Ali frees up, they could do more stuff outside, like go for walks on the beach and do some hiking, or maybe even swim in the lake. Ashlyn had heard that people actually surf the lake in the winter, since the storms create waves, but that sounded crazy to her.

Ali took Ashlyn’s hand and lead them up the stairs into the aquarium’s main entrance. She paid the admission, took a brochure for them, and the two women set off exploring. They stopped at each tank, looking at the fish and reading the descriptions. 

“He stud, check it out – a Hawaiian exhibit!” Ali said excitedly, and pointed to a large section of the aquarium. She took Ashlyn's hand, and the two of them walked over. They came across the dolphin tank and stopped to watch them swim and take some pictures.

“Hey”, Ali said. “Does this remind you of home?”

“Yeah”, Ashlyn said. Kind of, she thought. She looked at the dolphins, swimming in circles in their small tank. Ashlyn liked aquariums and had been to Sea Life Park in Hawaii many times, but right now she had one thought in her mind: I wonder if these dolphins ever feel trapped. Because these days that’s how I feel sometimes. She stared at the dolphins and then looked outside the aquarium windows at Lake Michigan, and she thought about the dolphins suddenly jumping out of their tank, breaking through the glass and swimming away in Lake Michigan. I wonder what it would be like if I did that, Ashlyn thought – broke out of my tank. Maybe jumped on a plane and went somewhere, maybe back home. I wonder how I would feel if I did that, Ashlyn mused, and she smiled a bit at the randomness of such a thought.

Ali caught her smiling and gently grabbed her arm and pulled her in for a kiss. “What are you smiling at, babe?” She asked Ashlyn.

“Oh, nothing”, Ashlyn smiled back. “I’m just…having a good day. This Hawaii exhibit does remind me of home, that’s all.”

Ali smiled back. “I’m glad”, Ali said. She leaned in to kiss Ashlyn again, and the two of them continued on their way.

 

********

 

Ali and Ashlyn exited the aquarium a few hours later. They took a walk towards the end of the parking lot and stopped to look back at the panoramic view of the downtown city skyline. Ali stood behind Ashlyn and wrapped her arms around Ashlyn's waist. Ashlyn leaned her head back onto Ali’s shoulder and closed her eyes.

“Hi, beautiful”, Ashlyn said.

“Hi, stud”, Ali whispered into Ashlyn’s ear.

“I’m glad we get to spend the day together”.

“Me too”, Ali answered. She had bargained with Pam to take a few hours off today to have lunch with her mother. Since lunch, she had decided that she was going to take the rest of the day off as well. She knew Pam would give her an earful, but right now, spending time alone with her girlfriend seemed more important. She hadn’t spent a full day off with Ashlyn in two weeks, since she had taken Ashlyn to the north shore. She remained silent for a second and then said, “Babe – are you happy here?”

Ashlyn opened her eyes and thought for a moment. “I think so” she said. “I mean, things aren’t working out quite the way I thought they would when I moved here, but, I mean, there are things I like about living here.”

“I know. They aren’t quite what I thought they would be for us, either, with me having to work so much and all, but I want you to be happy here”, Ali said, and she nuzzled into the back of Ashlyn’s neck.

“I don’t know”, Ashlyn said. “I mean, I really wish you were around more, but I know you know that, and I know you can’t help that you’re busy, and I just hope things will get better when work slows down for you.”

‘Well, I want you to be happy here”, Ali said again. “I want you to feel at home.” She was silent for a second, and then said, “And babe, if, after my work dies down, you’re still not happy here, or you still don’t feel at home…well, we can talk about options.” Ali kissed the back of Ashlyn’s neck and continued to hold her. Am I losing her? Ali thought. I can tell she’s not happy here, and I want to make her happy, but I’ve got this huge project, and it’s important to me, and there’s nothing I can really do about it right now, so hopefully Ashlyn can just hold on for a bit longer, and once this project is done, I can re-evaluate my priorities, and we can figure things out together.

Ashlyn stared out at the panoramic view. I want to be happy here, she thought. I really do. I took a big chance to come here, and I really hoped that I would feel at home. I really hoped that being in love and living with the person I love would make me feel at home. There are other things that I like about here, too. I love the grandness of the city. I love the food. I love exploring new things, and the things I have been introduced to, like Wrigley Field, and this aquarium. But, right now, I just don’t feel at home here. Between not seeing Ali nearly as much as I would like, to her mom judging me, and that damn Pam girl just not liking me at all, I just don’t see myself wanting to stay here forever. I don’t know. Maybe I just don’t fit in here. Maybe I just don’t belong here. Hopefully things change for the better once Ali is done with this project she is on, because if not, I feel like I’m going to have to do something.


	22. Chapter 22

“Wow, this is awesome!” Ashlyn said as she looked around.

Ali and Ashlyn were at the Chicago Blues Festival, one of the many outdoor festivals that the city held each year during the summer months. They were in Grant Park in downtown Chicago, the same venue that hosts Lollapalooza each year. There were five stages, and Ali and Ashlyn were watching a local blues band perform on one of the smaller stages near a beer garden. Megan, Tobin and Carli had met up with them.

Ali smiled at Ashlyn and leaned in to give her a kiss. She was happy that Ashlyn was having a good time. This was the first time in almost two weeks that they had spent time together on a weekend, since they had gone to Ali’s mother’s for lunch.

“Wassup, bitches?” The women turned around and saw Pam approaching, a beer in each hand. Ashlyn inwardly sighed. Ali had warned Ashlyn that Pam would probably show up. Ashlyn was hoping that she wouldn’t, but now that Pam was here, she told herself to just keep her chin up and stay positive.

“Hey Pam”, Ali said. Tobin and Carli waved at Pam. Megan gave her a faint smile.

“Hey hot stuff”, Pam said loudly, acknowledging only Ali. The music was playing, but Ashlyn still heard the comment. Ali looked at Ashlyn, who frowned, and then Ali looked at Pam and smiled slightly. “Alright, Pam, knock it off”, she chided.

“Jeez, I’m just playing. God, you’re uptight, even when you’re out of the office. You should lighten up and relax. I mean, this may be the last free time we get before the pitch next Thursday.” As Ali had expected, Pam had given her a hard time about taking the afternoon off two weeks ago to take Ashlyn to meet her mother, but Ali had promised to make it up. They had worked non-stop since then, and now they were in the final stretch, and it had actually been Pam’s suggestion to Ali that they take today off and hang out. Pam, as dedicated to work as she was, still loved going to festivals and drinking outdoors during the day. A hold over from her college days, Ali presumed. It’s funny, she thought, how it’s okay to take the afternoon off when Pam wants to take time off, like to go drinking together, but not when I want to take time off, like when I want to spend time with Ashlyn. She had thought about bringing that up, but then decided against it. At this point, any free time away from working on the pitch was welcome, and she just wanted to get through this final week without any more arguments.

Ashlyn stood watching the band. Pam wandered off. Ali moved away from Ashlyn’s side to talk with Tobin, Carli and Megan. Ashlyn finished her beer and tossed the cup into a nearby garbage can. She continued to watch the band, when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around and saw Pam standing there, two beers in hand.

“Hey, I got you a beer.”

Ashlyn stared for a second. Was Pam actually being nice to me? she wondered. Pam raised her eyebrows, and Ashlyn took the beer.

“Thank you, Pam”, Ashlyn said, genuinely appreciative. Pam moved to stand beside Ashlyn, facing the band.

“So, I wanna talk to you about something”, Pam said. “Look, I know you’re the new squeeze in Ali’s life”, she said. “But you need to know something too: Ali is my work partner. We share a deep passion for marketing, and that's a big thing. Plus, we work well together. In fact, she’s the best work partner I’ve ever had. I’ve known her for a lot longer than you have, and we came up together in the business. We’ve talked about making it to the top together ever since we met, two years ago. And you know what? Getting to the top together is still the plan.” 

Ashlyn sighed. She was really hoping that Pam wanted to bury the hatchet. No such luck. She didn't know what Pam wanted, or why Pam had approached her to talk, but she decided to do what she could to make things as smooth as possible between them. “Look, Pam, I know that you and Ali are close, and I know that you’ve known her longer than me, and I don’t want to get in the way of you guys working together. It’s just that, I’d like to see her more than I do, and this project you guys are working on together is taking time away from her and me seeing each other. And, it’s killing her, too.“

“It’s not killing her”, Pam said. “Maybe it’s killing you, but it’s not killing her. See, Ali’s a hard worker. I would know. We both are. She and I both share a hard work ethic and a drive for success, which is something a lot of people don’t have. Even if someone like you doesn’t understand that, people like Ali and I do. Look, I’m okay with you guys hanging out and stuff, but she’s in my life too, and I can’t afford to have her lose focus or determination because she’s hanging out with you. Ali knows that, too. She and I both know that we won’t make it to the top if we don’t take things seriously.”

We’re not just ’hanging out’, Ashlyn thought. That sounds so…dismissive. Ali’s my girlfriend, and I love her, and she loves me. Ashlyn was starting to get a bit upset, but she kept her cool. “Who says Ali wants to make it to the top?”

“She does. And I know she does. She’s on the rise. You don’t put in the time and effort she has put in to become the youngest VP in the company, if you don’t have an ambitious goal like being a CEO.”

Ashlyn turned to look a Pam. “Look, Pam – I feel like we’re about to start arguing, and I don’t want to argue with you.” Ashlyn didn’t like confrontation. Yes, she was built and had sculpted muscles, but being confrontational just wasn’t her way. She said to Pam, “I know you are an important person in Ali’s life, and I accept that. I just…I just want you to accept that I am an important person in her life, too.”

Pam squared off with Ashlyn and said, “That’s my point. You’re going to have to accept that I’m in Ali’s life, in a big way. So, you better not get in our way.”

Ashlyn swallowed hard. She was going to say something, and there was a possibility that she might anger Pam, and that Pam might haul off on her, but she had to say it, so she took a deep breath and looked Pam in the eye. “But I already accept that you are in her life. You’re the one who can’t seem to accept that I am in her life as well.”

“You know what?” Pam continued, raising her voice. “You come over here like yesterday from your little sandbox, and all of a sudden you think you know everything about her. I’ll tell you what”, Pam rolled on. “I don’t know how things work on that little island of yours, but that nice apartment that she lets you live in, that nice car she drives, the money she has to take you out – that shit doesn’t grow on coconut trees. It’s because Ali works hard and puts in the hours, and if she needs to support you as well, she’s only going to have to work harder and put in more hours.”

“Pam, please – I’d really appreciate it if you would stop making fun of me all the time for being from Hawaii.” Ashlyn’s voice had started to waver, and her eyes started to moisten up. Megan was standing about 10 feet away. She had taken notice of the conversation and looked over. Ali had disappeared.

“Whatever. Just let me ask you something, Ashlyn”, Pam said, and spread her arms. “What kind of a future do you see with you and Ali, huh? What do you guys have in common? Besides maybe you both like Hawaii.” Before Ashlyn could answer, Pam pressed on. “Yep, that’s right - you can’t say shit because you don’t know. You don’t know because you’re not sure. And you’re not sure because, well, let’s face it – there really isn’t much of a future for you two.” She moved closer to Ashlyn. “Let me tell you what my future is with Ali. She and I are going to be running the largest marketing agency in the city someday. We’re going to be making millions and be on the cover of Fortune 500 together. Ali and I will be joined at the hip for life, which is a lot longer than you will be with her.” 

“What’s going on here?” Megan walked up. She took one look at Ashlyn and then glared at Pam. “What did you say to her?” Megan demanded. 

“Nothing”, Pam said and smiled. “We were just talking about how wonderful Ali is, and how great it is that we get to share her in our lives.”

Megan got in Pam’s face. “Pam, leave her alone,” she gritted through her teeth.

“Or you’re gonna do what?” Pam said, cocking her head.

Megan clenched her fists. She had never hit anyone before, but she was closer now than she had ever been. She continued to glare at Pam. “I swear to fucking God…” Megan said but didn’t move.

Pam smirked at Megan and said, “That’s what I thought”, and then said to Ashlyn, “Enjoy the beer”. She turned around and walked away. Megan glared at Pam's back for a moment and then turned to Ashlyn. 

“Hey, are you alright?” Megan asked Ashlyn.

“Where’s Ali?” Ashlyn asked. Megan could see tears starting to form in Ashlyn’s eyes and could hear her voice wavering, even above the music.

“She went to the bathroom. Are you alright?” Megan asked again.

“Ummm…I need to go.” Ashlyn said and started walking off.

“Hey, hey, hey - I’ll walk with you. Let’s go this way.” She looked over at Tobin and Carli. “Tobes – tell Ali we’ll be right back”, she said. Tobin smiled and nodded, and then Megan took Ashlyn’s arm and lead her away from the stage area. They walked past a food vendor, and Megan grabbed some napkins, and then they walked a few minutes to the edge of the park and sat down on a bench.

“Ashlyn, what happened?” Megan asked.

“She’s such a bitch”, Ashlyn said, as tears started to fall from her eyes. “Why is she so mean to me? What did I ever do to her?”

“Awww…Ashlyn. I’m sorry she made you upset”, Megan said as she handed Ashlyn a napkin. “Look, I know Pam can be mean, and I don’t like her either, but don’t let her get under your skin. She’s just jealous of you and Ali, that’s all.” Megan paused for a moment and then said, “And Ali loves you.”

Ashlyn sniffled. “Sometimes I’m not so sure.”

“She does, Ashlyn. I know she does. I can tell by the way she looks at you and the way she talks about you. You know, I never told you this, and don’t ever tell Ali I told you this, but after you guys had argued in Hawaii, Ali called me the day before she was supposed to leave to come home. She called me, all broken up about you”, Megan said, as she tried to comfort Ashlyn by rubbing her back. “I’ve known Ali for 15 years, and I’ve never seen her broken up about anyone. That says something.”

“But she spends all of her time with Pam. I never see her.”

“It’s just part of her job right now. She’s just busy right now. She’s not always this busy. Her work will calm down soon, and I know she’d rather be spending time with you.”

Ashlyn sat quiet for a bit and then said, “I just don’t understand how Ali can deal with her. I mean, I get that Pam is good at marketing, and that Ali and her both like marketing, but, I mean, it can’t be worth putting up with her all the time.” She looked at Megan. “I mean, can it?”

“I don’t know. I mean, I guess Ali is just so used to working with her that she’s kind of immune to Pam’s sarcasm and biting remarks”, Megan said. 

“I guess. I just still don’t see why she likes her so much.”

“I guess it’s that shared passion for marketing, and that Pam is smart and motivated, like Ali, and for whatever reason, they work well together.”

“I know, and I understand that, but, I mean, there’s more to life than rising to the top of the corporate world.”

“I agree, one hundred ten percent. I think for Ali, though, she’s been focused on being successful in the working world for so long that she’s just used to operating around that guiding principle in her life. It’s like just second nature for her right now. Old habits die hard, you know.”

“I guess I just wish that she would be more…I don’t know, carefree", Ashlyn said. "That she didn’t care so much about getting ahead, and just cared about really enjoying life. I mean, that’s the person I met in Hawaii, or at least I thought I had met.”

“You know, Ali wasn’t always like that. When I first met her, she was much more of a free spirit. She did whatever she wanted to, when she wanted to, and she really had no direction. She ditched a lot of classes, showed up to soccer only when she wanted to, and never thought about college. But, when her dad died, she became super serious and motivated. Suddenly she was scoring straight A’s, crushing it on the soccer field, and applying to the best schools. I think her mom pushed her into being that way, and Ali just went with it. She just got used to her mom kind of telling her what to do after her dad died, and basically running her life. I know that her father’s death was hard on the family, and that must have been terrible for her to go through, but Ali’s mom basically pushed her to excel, under the fear of how terrible life would be if she had to endure another hardship again, and I think it kind of just instilled in Ali an unconscious drive to be successful.

Megan was smart, Ashlyn thought. She might be smarter than Ali. Or maybe not. That would be hard to do. But, Megan was damn smart. And she was really cool. Ashlyn sat quiet for a minute, and then said, “Where is Pam from? Do you know?”

“I think she’s from somewhere up near where Ali and I grew up. She didn’t go to our school, so not Winnetka, but maybe a nearby suburb? Lake Forest? Highland Park?”

“So a privileged area”, Ashlyn said.

“Yeah, they’re nice areas, similar to Winnetka, which Ali told me she took you up to a little while ago”, Megan said. “Why do you ask?”

“I don’t know”, Ashlyn said. “It’s like…they have so much in common. Outside of Ali being the sweetest person, and Pam being the meanest. But the nice upbringing, the money, the looks, the brains, the ambition, a passion for marketing…”

“Ashlyn – what are you getting at?” Megan asked, concerned.

“I don’t know. I guess…I just wonder sometimes…if, well…”

“What?” Megan prompted.

“If Ali really wants to be with me, or would she be better off with someone like…someone like…Pam.”

“Ashlyn – stop” Megan admonished. “I’m telling you: Ali loves you. Like I said, in the 15 years I’ve known her, I’ve never seen her fall for anyone like she fell for you. Look, she’s surrounded everyday by people who are like her – yuppie types with a passion for marketing who can’t wait to climb the corporate ladder. I think that, if she wanted to be with someone like that, then she wouldn’t have fallen for you, because there are plenty of choices like that for her right here in Chicago.”

Megan smiled at Ashlyn. Ashlyn looked at her for a moment and then smiled back. It was really nice talking with Megan, Ashlyn thought, and she felt a lot better.

“Thank you, Megan, for the talk”, Ashlyn said.

“Anytime, Ashlyn.” They sat for another minute without saying anything, and then Megan said, “So, are you ready to go back?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Alright”, Megan said. She stood up and extended her hand to help Ashlyn up. Megan smiled. “Let’s go have some fun. That's why we came here, right?" she said, and lead them back to the stage. They walked back and saw Ali, Carli and Tobin still at the same stage. Pam was nowhere to be found.

“Hey guys, where’d you go?” Ali asked. She leaned in and gave Ashlyn a kiss.

“We were just talking”, Megan said.

“Okaaaay. Is everything alright?” Ali asked. Megan looked at Ashlyn.

“Yeah. Everything is fine", Ashlyn said.

Ali smiled. “Good”, she said, and took Ashlyn’s hand. Megan smiled at Ashlyn and stood on the far side next to Tobin and Carli.

“I like her”, Ashlyn said, to Ali referring to Megan.

“I’m glad, Ali said again and smiled. She was glad that Ashlyn liked her closest friend. “She’s a good person”, Ali said. She was happy to have Megan in her life.

 

********

 

“So, did you have a good time today?” Ali asked Ashlyn as they entered the apartment. They had walked the mile and a half home from the festival. It was just after dark.

“Um, yeah. It was fun”, Ashlyn said.

Ali closed the door and then looked at her girlfriend. “Hey stud - Is everything okay? You’ve been quiet since you talked with Megan about whatever you guys talked about.”

“I’m okay”, Ashlyn said. She sighed and sat on the couch.

Ali knew something was wrong. “Babe, what is it?” she asked, as she sat down beside her. “Talk to me.”

Ashlyn started to speak, but the words got stuck in her throat.

“Ash, what is it?” Ali coaxed. She took one of Ashlyn’s hands in hers and rubbed Ashlyn’s back with her free hand.

“I talked with Pam today”, Ashlyn said, as tears started to form in her eyes.

“Uh, okay. About what…?” Ali prompted.

“Sh-sh-she was fucking mean to me”, Ashlyn said.

Ali felt a flash of anger run through her. “Wait - what? What did she say, babe?”

“Sh-sh-she said that you and I don’t have a future together.”

“Wait –w-w-what?” Ali said again, not quite sure what she had just heard.

“She said you and I don’t have a future together.”

Ali started to get up. She was going to grab her phone and call Pam, but her practical side kicked in, and she sat back down. She needed a little more information before she made the call. “Okay, and why did she say that?”

“She said that you and I don’t have anything in common, and that you’re better off making it to the top of the marketing world with her than being in a relationship with me.” Ashlyn was silent for a second, and then said, “Ali?”

“Yes?” Ali asked, expectant and attentive.

“D-d-do you really want to be with me?”

Ali looked at Ashlyn for a moment and then pulled her in for a hug. “Of course I do, babe.” She released the hug and looked into Ashlyn’s eyes. “Why would you even ask that?”

“B-b-because, sometimes I think that, you’d rather be with someone more like you…like…like…like”, it hurt Ashlyn to say it, but she forced it out anyway, “like Pam”.

“Awww, babe. Noooooo. What makes you even say that?”

“Because you spend all of your time with her. And because you guys have so much in common. I mean, you’re both smart, and motivated, and you both love marketing, and you grew up in nice suburbs, and you both went to college, and…I don’t know…maybe you’re just better off with someone like that…like maybe I’m just getting in your way of succeeding…or something…” Ashlyn trailed off, tears running down her cheeks.

“Awww, Ash, please…” Ali said, wiping tears from Ashlyn’s face. Seeing Ashlyn cry made Ali start to cry, and she felt a tear trickle down her own face.

“S-s-sometimes I just wonder if I’m good enough for you…if you really want to be with me”, Ashlyn croaked out and looked down.

Ali took a deep breath and wiped the tears from her eye. Up until now, she hadn’t realized just how much Ashlyn was struggling, and how much her own absence had negatively affected their relationship. Thinking about that made her want to burst into full-on tears, but she stifled her emotions and put on a brave face. I need to be strong, she thought to herself. She lifted Ashlyn’s chin with her thumb and forefinger and took one of Ashlyn’s hands in her free hand.

“Ashlyn Harris – I love you. I didn’t realize that me working so much had put such strain on you, and I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that Pam had rubbed you so much the wrong way, and I’m sorry about that too.” She paused, gave Ashlyn a kiss, wiped another tear from her face, and continued. “Look – this pitch is next week. I just have a few more days to go, and then I will be done. And, after I am done, I will talk with my boss about lightening my workload. I will even take a lower position if it means spending more time with you. Also, if me working with Pam bothers you so much, I will request that I not work with her. You know that I think she and I work well together, but again, if it really bothers you that much, then I will request a different partner at work.”

Ashlyn looked at Ali for a moment and then said, “Would you really do that? For me?”

“Of course I would, babe.”

“Th-th-thank you.”

“Look, babe”, Ali said. “I want you to be happy here. I know things haven’t started out here the way either you or I wanted them to, but I want you to be happy. I want us to be happy together. But, please – just hang in there with me for a few more days. This project is almost over. The presentation is on Thursday - five days away. After that I will be done, and then we can talk about what to do with us, to give us the best relationship possible, okay?” 

Ali smiled, and Ashlyn smiled back. She looked at Ali for a moment and then said, “Okay. If you really love me, and you really want to be with me, then of course I will wait until your project is done. But, I want you to know that I do need things to get better. I need you to be around more. I need to feel like this city is home for me.” She looked Ali right in the eyes and said, “I really want to feel at home here, but right now I just don’t.”

Ali took a deep breath and then said, “I understand, babe. I really do. And I want you to know that, even though I’ve been super busy and haven’t been around as much as we would both like, I think about you all the time, and I haven’t forgotten that you came here for me. I want you to feel like this is home, too. And”, Ali said, “if, after this project is over, and things calm down for me at work, and we talk – if after all that, time goes by and you still don’t feel like this city is home…well, then…as I said before, we can talk about other options.”

Ashlyn smiled a bit and then nodded in agreement. Ali smiled back and then pulled her in for a hug. “I love you so much, Ashlyn. I love you, and I love that you moved here for me, and I appreciate you putting up with my crazy schedule.”

“I love you too, beautiful”, Ashlyn said. She pulled back out of the hug and looked Ali right in the eyes. “I just want us to be happy, like we were in Hawaii.”  
Ali looked at Ashlyn and then planted the gentlest kiss on her lips. “I want us to be happy too, babe”, she said. Ashlyn smiled and then returned the kiss.

“So, do you want me to call Pam?” Ali asked.

Ashlyn sighed. “No, it’s okay. I just…right now, I just want you to hold me.”

Ali smiled and gave Ashlyn another kiss. “Of course”, she said. She laid back on the couch, took Ashlyn into her arms, and they stayed like that for the rest of the night.


	23. Chapter 23

Ali was checking emails when Pam knocked on her door. It was Monday morning, and Ali had asked Pam to come to her office right away.

“Hey”, Pam said. “You ready to get started? We’re almost done. We’re so close”, she said with a smile and held her index finger and thumb an inch apart.

“Hey Pam, come on in and close the door.”

Pam shut the door and took a seat at the front of Ali’s desk. “What’s up, Ali? Everything alright?” Pam asked.

“Look, Pam”, Ali began. “I want to talk to you about something”. After Ali had talked with Ashlyn, she was prepared to call Pam right away, but Ashlyn had said it was okay. Also, Ali preferred to discuss important matters face to face if possible, and this was an important matter. Plus, Ali knew that she, Pam and Ashlyn had all drank a few beers each at the festival, and she thought it would be best to have this conversation sober. “So, I usually don’t bring personal matters into the office, but Ashlyn told me that you guys talked at the festival two days ago, and, well, she seemed upset. She told me that you were mean to her, that you insulted her, and that you told her that there was no future for me and her, so I have to know – is that what you really said?”

“What?” Pam said, sounding surprised. “No, not at all”, she lied.

“Well, what did you say?” Ali asked. “I mean, she was pretty upset when we got home from the festival, so if you said something to upset her, that’s not cool.”

Pam thought for a moment and then said, “Look, all we were talking about is the fact that we have to share you. I mean, honestly, I may have come off a bit self-interested, but I wasn’t trying to offend Ashlyn, and I’m sorry if I did.”

Ali stared at Pam. This was probably the first time she had ever heard an apology come out of Pam’s mouth. “Thanks, Pam, I appreciate it.”

“Look”, Pam continued, “I know that her being here is a big adjustment for you, and it’s a big adjustment for her. But, it’s also a big adjustment for me, too. I know she’s getting used to you being in your everyday life and working a lot or whatever, but I’m getting used to you having to split time between me and her, too. And”, Pam continued, “I’m also getting use to you dividing your focus as well.”

“I understand, Pam. I mean, I understand that it’s an adjustment for all of us”, Ali said. “But, I need to know – did you say anything offensive to her?”

Pam thought for another moment and then answered. “Honestly, I don’t remember”, Pam lied again. “I mean, I had a couple beers, and, well, look, Ali – you know me. I’m passionate. I’m a passionate person, and I care about our relationship. You and I are working to make it to the top, and that’s important to me, and I know that’s important to you too. So, I know my passion gets in the way of my tact sometimes. I know there are times when I come off as abrasive, and I’m sorry. Please tell Ashlyn that I didn’t mean to offend her.”

“Thanks again”, Ali said and smiled.

Pam smiled back. “Look, Ali - regardless of how I come off, the bottom line is that we are a good team. We both know that. We work well together. And it’s hard to find people that you work well with. That’s why I’m so passionate about us. It’s because I care about our future together, and I know we can do great things. I mean, look at what we’ve done for Digitalworks in the two years we’ve been together. We won the Chase account for this agency. We’ve grown billings for the Target account 300%. We helped to win the BMW and the Jewel-Osco accounts, among everything else we've done as well. We’re good together. I mean, I’ve worked with hundreds of people, and you’re the best partner I’ve ever had, and I don’t want to throw that away. And I know you share that same feeling about me. I mean, how many people have you worked with?”

“I don’t know. Hundreds, I suppose”, Ali answered.

“And who’s the best partner you’ve ever had?”

“You are. You already know that.”

“Right. That’s my point", Pam said. "We’re good together, and we know it, and we’re destined for great things, and I just don’t want anything to get in the way of us getting to the top.”

Ali exhaled and smiled slightly as she listened to Pam talk. Pam was a good talker. This was the Pam that won business for the agency. This was the Pam that smoothed things over with their existing clients when things weren’t going well. This was the Pam that made people like Abby and the executive staff believe that she was capable of handling large, important accounts. She could be smooth and convincing when she wanted to be. It was times like this when Ali straddled the line in her thoughts of really believing that Pam was a good person who cared, versus believing that Pam would bury the marching band to get to the top. But, she couldn’t deny that there was an attraction to Pam’s passion and determination. Plus, Ali had to admit – they were a damn good team. She smiled wider at Pam and said, “Thanks, Pam. I appreciate the talk. As long as you’re cool with Ashlyn from here on out, I am good.” Pam nodded her head, and Ali said, “Let’s just finalize this presentation and bring it on home.” Ali wanted to tell Pam that after this project she would be looking for another position, which would mean another partner, but, since the pitch was only three days away, she decided to save that conversation until after the pitch was over.

“Great.” Pam smiled and stood up. “I’ll assemble the team in the north conference room to review the latest capabilities presentation and creative.” She started to walk out of Ali’s office, and as she got to the door, she paused and looked back. “We’re almost there, Ali. We’re almost there.”

Ali smiled and nodded, then went back to her never ending stack of emails.

 

********

 

Ashlyn was surfing the internet. Actually, she was looking at something specific when her phone rang. It was a bit after 6pm. She picked it up. It was Ali.

“Heyyyyyy”, she said.

“Hey, babe. How’s your day going?”

“Good. How is yours?”

“It’s good. I’m calling because I’m actually going to be off at a reasonable hour tonight, and I wanted to see if you’d be able to wait to eat dinner so we could eat together, maybe around eight or so?”

“Um, that sounds great, but, um, I actually have to work tonight.”

“Oh", Ali said. "I didn’t think you worked on Monday’s.”

“Um, well, I usually don’t, but they asked me to come in tonight.”

“Oh, well that’s too bad. I may not get another evening off until Thursday, after the pitch.”

“Oh. Bummer. Well, sorry”, Ashlyn said.

“It’s okay, hon. If you have to work, you have to work. You know that I of all people understand that”, Ali said lightheartedly, and Ashlyn managed a small laugh of agreement. “Well, in that case, I’ll stay late at the office tonight and try to get ahead, so maybe I can get off earlier on Tuesday or Wednesday.”

“Uh, okay. That sounds good. Well, uh, have a good night.”

“Okay, babe. Have a good night at work.”

“Um, you too.”

“I love you.”

“Love you too.” Ashlyn hung up the phone, then went back to the internet and scribbled something on a piece of paper.

 

********

 

Ashlyn got off the L train and looked around the street. She looked at the piece of paper in her hand, and then looked at the building in front of her. I think this is the place, she said to herself, as she spotted the sign above a double door entrance. It was a little after 8pm. She walked into the club and looked around. It was large and cavernous, with a long bar on the side and a big stage at the far end. Apparently this is one of the best live music venues in the city, according to the venue’s website, hosting the hottest local bands in the city as well as up-and-coming national touring acts.

“Hey you!” Ashlyn looked over and saw Christen walking towards her. She was dressed pretty much the same as she had been when she had performed at Mother’s two weeks ago, but Ashlyn thought that her skirt was just a little shorter tonight, and that she may have dialed up the makeup a notch. She walked up to Ashlyn and gave her a kiss on the cheek, not quite touching her lips, but almost.

Ashlyn returned the gesture. “Hi”, she said, almost shyly.

“Hi”, Christen returned. “I’m so glad you could make it”, she said, smiling broadly.

“Yeah, I got the night off. I mean, it's a Monday, and we’re usually pretty slow at the bar early in the week.” Ashlyn didn’t actually have to work tonight. She had told Ali she had to work because she wanted to see Christen’s play. She felt kind of bad, since, as it turned out, Ali actually ended up being free tonight, but then a part of her thought, Ali hasn’t been around for dinner for a lot of nights when I have been free. Surely I can take one night to myself, even though she is free. Plus, she will be done with this project soon, and then we will have much more time together. And, for some reason, Ashlyn continued thinking, I just really want to see Christen tonight. After talking with Ali on the phone, Ashlyn had eaten a quick dinner, then had hopped in the shower, put on a black jacket suit with a white shirt and then jumped on the L to the Wicker Park neighborhood to find Double Door. She had been looking at Double Door’s website when Ali had called earlier, and she tried to remember if she had closed the browser on the laptop that the two of them shared. She was pretty sure that she had.

“Well, whatever the reason, I’m so glad you could come”, Christen said.

“I’m glad I could make it, too.” Ashlyn looked around. “Nice crowd, for a Monday.”

“Thanks”, Christen said. “This is our first show here, and we promoted really hard. You have to start playing on the weekdays here if you are a local band and work your way up to the weekends, so we’re trying to make a good impression tonight.”

“Well, I’m sure you will”, Ashlyn said, with a smile.

Christen smiled back. “So…are you here alone…or...is your girlfriend here, too?”

“No, she’s not here. I came alone”, Ashlyn said.

“Oh, okay”, Christen said, trying to contain the fact that she was excited that Ashlyn had come alone. She wasn't trying to wreck anything, but it was just kind of nice to see Ashlyn by herself. “And…how is everything with you guys? And how is everything with just you, too?”

“Things are okay, thanks”, Ashlyn said. She was glad that she and Ali had talked a couple nights ago, but she also didn’t want to get into it with Christen. There was just something about Christen that made Ashlyn not want to talk about Ali. Yes, they had talked the first night they had met about Ali, and about Christen’s ex, but right now, Ashlyn thought, I just don’t want to talk about Ali with her. Maybe it was the fact that Christen was the one person who Ashlyn knew that Ali hadn’t introduced her to, besides Ashlyn’s co-workers from the bar, with whom Ashlyn hadn’t really become friends. Well, whatever it was, there was just something that made Ashlyn want to keep Christen in some way all to herself, and that meant not talking with Christen about Ali. Ashlyn just wanted to enjoy being here with Christen by herself.

Christen could tell that Ashlyn didn’t want to continue on that subject. She was a caring person, and she wanted things to go well for Ashlyn, regardless of how that happened. But, in this moment, the joy that she felt over Ashlyn being here at her show alone overshadowed her caring about how Ashlyn and her girlfriend’s relationship was going, so she dropped the subject. “Well, good to hear”, Christen said, and then, in a move that was bold for her, she grabbed Ashlyn’s hand and said, “C’mon. I’ll buy you a drink.”

“But, I thought you didn’t drink when you played”, Ashlyn said as she felt Christen’s fingers trying to link with hers.

“I don’t”, Christen said and smiled. “I said I would buy you a drink.”

Ashlyn looked at Christen for a moment, then smiled and said, “That would be great, thanks”. She linked her fingers with Christen’s and followed her to the bar.

 

********

 

“Hey, what did you think?” Christen said to Ashlyn as she jumped offstage. Ashlyn had been standing on Christen’s side of the stage, a few rows back. She had stared at Christen the entire performance. Christen had glanced at Ashlyn a number of times from the stage and smiled. Ashlyn had heard a couple people around her say something to the effect of, "The bass player is hot", and she couldn't disagree.

“It was great”, Ashlyn said. “You guys are really good. And”, she said and smiled almost shyly, “I really enjoy watching you perform.”

“Awww…thank you”, Christen said, and almost blushed. “Hey – do you want another drink? I'm ready for one, and I think we may actually have some free drinks backstage. Do you-”, Christen started and then paused, wondering if what she was going to say next might be construed as being too forward. She decided to go with it anyway. “Do you want to come with me?”

“Backstage, huh?” Ashlyn said and raised an eyebrow. “Is that where the ‘magic’ happens for you rock stars?”

“Noooo, it’s not like that”, Christen said, a bit embarrassed. She smiled and blushed.

Ashlyn laughed. “I’m just giving you a hard time. I’d love to see the backstage.”

Christen laughed, and then took Ashlyn’s hand again and led her towards the backstage area.

 

********

 

“Hey, thanks for coming tonight”, Christen said. It was 2am. The bands were finishing loading out and the club was closing up. Ashlyn and Christen were standing just outside the front door of the club.

“You’re welcome. It was fun”, Ashlyn said.

“So…are you okay to get home?” Christen asked.

“Uh, yeah. I can just take the L, or take a cab, or something. Wait – how are you getting home? And where is your car?”

“Actually, I’m just going to walk home. I live like three blocks from here. The guys are taking my gear in the band van”, Christen said, and motioned to a van sitting on the curb. “Thanks, Landon!” She called out. Landon, the lead singer, raised his hand, busted an impromptu dance move in the street, then jumped in the van and drove off.

“Oh. That’s convenient. Well, in that case, you should play here more often”, Ashlyn said and smiled. Christen smiled back. “So…um…since you live so close…do you want me to, um…walk you home?” Ashlyn asked.

Christen paused, then said, “Yeah. That’d be great.” She turned to walk and then paused and held out her hand for Ashlyn to take. Ashlyn paused for a second, and Christen thought, Did I just overstep my boundaries? Then Ashlyn smiled and took Christen’s hand. Christen smiled back and they started off together. They walked for a few blocks, and then Christen halted them at a large wooden duplex on a quiet side street.

“Nice place”, Ashlyn said.

“Thanks. I live in the back, through that gate”, she pointed to small gate that lead to a walkway, “It’s a small studio coach house. It’s kind of like a small cottage.”

Ashlyn laughed. “I used to live in something just like that, when I was living in Hawaii.”

“Really? That’s cool. Did you like it?”

“Yeah, I did”, Ashlyn said. “You?”

“Yeah, I do. I mean, it’s small, but it’s just me living there, so I can come and go as I please without waking anyone up.” Christen paused for a moment, and then looked Ashlyn shyly in the eye. “D-d-do you want to come in?”

Ashlyn paused. What is going on here with me? She thought. What am I doing? She looked at Christen. For some reason I kind of do want to go in, but no, I’m not going to. Yes, Christen is sweet and cute, but I love Ali, and Ali loves me, and even though things aren’t great right now, they will be soon, and I told Ali I would be patient and give her the time she needed until she finishes the project she is working on, which should be done in two days. Ashlyn was still holding Christen’s hand, and she turned to face Christen and took her other hand. She exhaled and said, “I don't know…I shouldn’t.” She gave Christen a sad smile. 

Christen sighed but smiled slightly. “It’s okay. I get it. And I’m sorry if I keep crossing lines, or whatever. I mean, I know you have a girlfriend, but I-“

“No, no, no – it’s not you. I mean, you’re so sweet, and you’re hot, and I had a really great time tonight”, Ashlyn said. Christen had given Ashlyn her undivided attention all night long, getting all of her drinks and making sure she was having a good time. “I just…I just need to figure out what I am doing with myself, and with my girlfriend.”

“I understand”, Christen said. “Well, thanks again for coming tonight.”

“Thank you for having me, and for all of the drinks, and for a wonderful time.” Ashlyn smiled.

Christen smiled back and moved a bit closer towards Ashlyn. “Well, um…good luck with everything, and…well...I hope to see you again, um, sometime soon.”

Ashlyn gazed at Christen. Their faces were less than six inches apart. She held her gaze for a few seconds longer and then let go of Christen’s hands.  
“Bye Christen”, Ashlyn said softly.

“Bye Ashlyn”, Christen said.

Ashlyn looked at her for a moment longer, then turned around and walked down the street back towards the L station. Christen stared at her until she turned the corner, then smiled slightly and went through the gate to her cottage.


	24. Chapter 24

Ashlyn woke up around noon the next day. She wandered into the kitchen and made herself a cup of coffee, and she noticed another note from Ali:

Good morning, babe!  
I hope you had a good night at work  
last night. Bummer we couldn’t have  
dinner together. I think it will be another  
late one for me at the office today, so  
unfortunately I won’t be home for dinner  
tonight. Sorry hon. But the good news is,  
I’m almost done. I’m going to try to push  
hard tonight so I can maybe get off at  
a decent hour on Wed night. And then  
the pitch is on Thurs. Just 2 more days!  
Then I’m all yours. Have a great day!  
Love you,  
xoxo, me

Ashlyn read the note and smiled. For the last week, Ali had been leaving notes every day that she left before Ashlyn woke up. She has been making an effort, Ashlyn thought, in as much as she can right now. Ashlyn read the note again and thought about how much better things will be once Ali was done with her project. Then she thought about how she had skipped having dinner with Ali last night to go see Christen perform, and even though Ali had told Ashlyn last minute that she was free, and even though Ashlyn had been thinking about seeing Christen last night for the last two weeks, she still felt a pang of remorse. It was stupid, Ashlyn thought. Well, Christen wasn’t stupid, but me going to see Christen was stupid. Why did I go? she thought to herself. All I’ve wanted for the last two months is to see more of Ali, and then when she calls and tells me she’s free, I decide to lie to her so I can see someone else. I just don’t get it, she thought. I’m kind of confused. She thought about how Ali would have felt if she had known the truth, that Ashlyn had gone to see another woman instead of going to work, and a feeling of guilt started welling up in her stomach. Even though things haven’t been great since I got here, and even thought for some reason I’m drawn to Christen, possibly because she’s the only entity here that’s not a part of Ali’s world, it was stupid of me to go, Ashlyn thought. She had been selfish, and she was feeling guilty and remorseful. She picked up the note and carried it with her to the couch. She sat down and turned on the laptop that was sitting on the coffee table. She drank her coffee and looked at surf cams covering some of the beaches in Hawaii. She finished her coffee twenty minutes later and decided to go for a run. She did some stretching, and then put on her jogging shorts, a tank top and some running shoes, and headed out the door.

 

********

 

Ashlyn was looking at surf cams again on the laptop on the coffee table when her phone buzzed. It was just after 7pm. She picked it up. It was a text from her manager, Sydney, from the bar:

Sydney: No need to come in tonight. Will be slow. Take tonight off.

Ashlyn texted back:

Ashlyn: Okay, thanks, will do.

Cool, Ashlyn thought. I don’t have to work. It would have been slow anyway. She put down her phone and happened to notice the sticky note that Ali had wrote her earlier. She read it again and smiled. Then she thought about Ali working late tonight, and she felt bad. She thought again about how she skipped out on dinner with Ali last night to go to Christen’s show, and she felt even worse, and then she thought about how she didn't instantly feel a resounding NO about going into Christen’s coach house at 2am, and, even though she didn't end up doing that, the thought of that made her feel even worse. Ashlyn sat and stared for a minute at the note. She knew that Ali missed her and thought about her when she was at work. She believed Ali when she said that she couldn’t wait for this project to be over so she could start spending more time with Ashlyn. I was an idiot last night, Ashlyn thought. Even though Ali doesn’t know, I feel guilty, and I need to do something to make up for it. As she read the note one more time a thought crossed her mind. Ashlyn looked at her phone, then picked it up, went into the kitchen to get something, and dialed a number.

 

********

 

Ali and Pam were sitting in Ali’s office. It was just after 8pm. They had worked with the team all day to do their second-to-final run-through of their presentation, and now they were putting the finishing touches on the materials and assembling them into final decks. Tomorrow the team would perform their final run-through. The pitch was 36 hours away. Ten million dollars worth of business on the line. Pam had insisted on dress rehearsals today and tomorrow, to get everyone in the right frame of mind, so both she and Ali were in business suits, Ali’s a charcoal grey and Pam’s a dark navy blue.

Ali finished assembling another one of the final decks and then stacked it on top of the others. She put her hands in her head and said, “Ugh. What a long day.”

“It’s been a long two months”, Pam said. She looked at Ali, and Ali nodded in agreement. “Hey, I have to get something from my office. I’ll be right back.” Pam got up and walked next door to her office. Ali continued to assemble the final materials when she heard Pam come back. She looked up and saw Pam carrying a bottle of wine and two glasses.

“Oh, Pam”, Ali sighed with a smile. She wanted a drink, but for some reason she couldn’t quite put a finger on, she was wary of drinking with Pam, especially when they were alone.

“Come on, Ali. You said it yourself – it’s been a long day”, Pam said, as she opened the bottle and poured two glasses. She handed one to Ali, who paused.

“I-I-I don’t know, Pam. I mean, I kind of could use a drink, but I think I’m okay.”

“Come on, Ali”, Pam said again. “Look – we’re in a good place with this project. We’ve busted our asses on this damn thing. Let’s take the edge off just a bit." She held the glass out and raised her eyebrows. "Just one glass”, she said. Ali smiled, relented, and took the glass.

“Thanks Pam", Ali said. Pam held up her glass and Ali did the same. They clinked glasses and started in.

Pam walked over to the window. She stared out at the view for a few seconds and then said, “Ali – come here.”

“What?” Ali said, putting the final deck of their presentation together.

Pam looked over at Ali and smiled slightly. “Just take a break for a second and come here”, Pam said. Ali put down the binder, stood up and walked over to the window with her glass of wine. She stood right next to Pam, shoulder to shoulder, and they both looked out onto the sweeping view of the Loop, bathed in nighttime lights.

“Look at this view”, Pam said. “It’s awesome, isn’t it?”

“It’s great”, Ali agreed.

“In two days, we’re going to win this pitch. In two years, we will have won more pitches. In ten years, we’re going to rule this city. You and me. We’re going to rule this damn city.”

Ali continued to look out at the view. She still wasn’t sure if she wanted to climb to the top anymore, and right about now all she could think about was getting done with this project so she could get a full night’s sleep and spend some time with Ashlyn, but she didn’t want to get into all of that so close to the pitch, so she held that in. “Yeah”, was all she said.

Pam stared out the window for a few more seconds, and then turned to Ali. They stood less than a foot away from each other. Pam looked Ali in the eyes and said, “We’re such a good team, Ali.” Ali smiled slightly and nodded in agreement. Then Pam smiled and stepped a bit closer. “Look at us”, Pam said. “Quite the power couple.”

“Pam…”, Ali said.

“Think about it, Ali. We could rule this city together. And I don’t just mean together, but, like, together. Two smart, hot, ambitious women, together, at the top. We’d be on every marketing magazine cover there is. We'd be the hottest thing since sliced bread.” Pam smiled at Ali. She took a sip of her wine, and with her free hand she reached up slowly and fingered the collar of Ali’s suit. They were standing close, less than six inches apart.

Ali started to take a step back and said, “Wait, Pam, I don’t think this i-“ Ali was about to say “is appropriate”, when Pam quickly leaned in and planted a kiss on her on the lips.

Ali paused for a second, shocked. She was about to back up, but the little bit of wine she’d already drunk had dulled her reflexes, and she was a second too slow. She was about to pull away from Pam and say “What the hell”, when she heard someone say, “Oh my God”. She looked up towards her office door, and there was Ashlyn, standing in the doorway. She was holding a takeout bag of food from the Thai place near the office. She had come to the office to surprise Ali with dinner, and had instead caught her girlfriend and the one woman she despised in a lip lock, dressed up in their power suits, holding glasses of wine.

“Ashlyn”, Ali said in shock.

“Oh my God”, Ashlyn said again, in a voice barely more than a whisper. Her voice had disappeared. The bag of food dropped to the floor. Ashlyn’s face twisted into a mix of shock, disbelief and hurt. Then she let out a wail, turned around, and ran back towards the elevators.

“Wait! Ashlyn!” Ali yelled after her. She started to run after her, but Pam grabbed her arm.

“Just let her go, Ali”, Pam said.

Ali whirled around to face Pam. “What the hell, Pam? What do you mean, ‘let her go’?”

“I mean, ‘just let her go’”, Pam repeated.

“God damn it, Pam, that’s my girlfriend!”

“I should be your girlfriend, Ali!” Pam got right in Ali’s face. “You and I! Together! We’re perfect for each other!” Pam pointed towards the door where Ashlyn had been standing. “What can she give you that I can’t, huh? God damn it, Ali, why can’t you see that that dumb hula dancing bitch is fucking worthless!?” 

Something snapped in Ali. Connected and snapped at the same time, and in the second that it all came together, she reached back and decked Pam. It wasn’t so much of a slap as an open handed punch. Ali hit Pam as hard as she could, her right hand solidly connecting with Pam’s left cheek. The crack of the blow echoed down the empty hall outside of Ali’s office. Pam flew against the window, and there was a loud thud as Pam’s head bounced off the heavy glass. Ali glared at her for a second as Pam slumped down onto the floor in a mixture of shock, pain and fear. Then Ali turned around and ran after Ashlyn as fast as her heels would allow.

 

********

 

Ashlyn ran to the elevator and pressed the down button. It seemed to take forever to arrive. She jumped in the elevator car and frantically pushed the close door button. Finally, the elevator doors closed and the car started to descend. It seemed to take forever to reach the ground floor. Finally, the door opened, and Ashlyn ran out of the building onto the street.

After she had received the text from work telling her that she was off, she had gotten the idea to surprise Ali at her office with dinner. She knew Ali was skipping meals and eating erratically, and she thought that Ali seeing her face would cheer Ali up. She had let herself into the main office area with the keycard that Ali had given her and navigated her way to Ali’s office. She had smiled as she picked up the food, imagining the way Ali's face would light up when she saw that her patient, understanding and loving girlfriend had brought her dinner. Never in a million years would Ashlyn have thought that she would arrive at Ali's office to find Ali lip locked with, of all people, the one person in this town who she really didn’t like. Ashlyn stood on the street outside Ali’s office building, bawling hard, tears streaming down her face. She had no idea what to do. She was heartbroken and shattered. Her whole world was unraveling. This can’t be really happening, she thought. How could Ali do this to me? After I moved here to be with her, and after how patient and understanding I’ve been the last two months since I got here, how could she do this to me?

“Ashlyn!”

Ashlyn whirled around to see Ali running out of the building. She went to yell at Ali, but the sound stuck in her throat.

“Ashlyn, please listen to me”, Ali said, as she approached Ashlyn.

“Get away from me!” Ashlyn yelled, finally able to get words out.

“Ash”, Ali said. “It wasn’t what it looked like.” She reached out to touch Ashlyn.

“Don’t touch me!” Ashlyn yelled and recoiled back.

“Ash, please, just listen to me”, Ali pleaded.

“How could you, Ali!” Ashlyn yelled, more of a statement than a question.

“Ash, please listen to me. Pam jumped me. She jumped me. I had no idea she was going to do that.”

“Is that what you’ve been doing, working late all of these nights?” Ashlyn asked, still yelling. Tears were pouring out of her eyes and down her cheeks.

“Babe, please. I had no part in that. Sh-sh-she came onto me right as you came to the door, and I was just about to push her away, right as you saw us.”

“Bullshit!” Ashlyn yelled.

“Babe, please-“

“Don’t call me babe!”

Ali went again to touch Ashlyn. “Ash, please, just listen to me.”

“No!” Ashlyn exploded. “I’m done listening! It’s your turn to listen!” She pointed at Ali. Ali just stood there, so Ashlyn rolled on. “I have been miserable, Ali. I fucking hate it here!”

“Ash, please, you don’t mean that”, Ali said. Seeing Ashlyn this upset made tears well up in her eyes too.

“I hate that you haven’t been around. I hate that I haven’t made any real friends in this city. The only people I know are the people you’ve introduced me to. The people here aren’t nice. I hate that your mom thinks I’m a loser, and I hate that I don’t even have a job I like. And then, you…with her, of all people!” Ashlyn yelled, pointing up to the office building. “You know I don’t like her. How could you, Ali!?” Ashlyn was yelling. She wasn’t naturally a yeller, and she didn’t often swear, but seeing Ali and Pam lip locked had been the straw that broke the camel’s back, and everything was now boiling over and rushing out.

“Ash, please…I’m so sorry.”

Ashlyn lowered her voice but was no less upset. “I came here to start over. To start over with you. I thought we would have a future together. I took a chance on coming here, and I thought that being here with you would overshadow the pain that I had left here when I moved to Hawaii all those years ago. But now you’ve brought it all back. You’ve brought pain back into my life. You’ve broken my heart. And now I have nothing.”

“Ash, that’s not true”, Ali pleaded. You have me. You have me, and you will always have me.”

“Bullshit! Pam has you. I just saw you two together!”

“Ash, I just told you, she jumped me. I had nothing to do with that. I was going to push her away from me and read her the riot act. You just happened to see us right at the moment she jumped me.” Ali took another step towards Ashlyn. Ashlyn backed up and put her hand up. “Ash, I promise you – I don’t have feelings for her, at all.”

“But she obviously has feelings for you. How could you not see that? How could you not know?”

Ali thought for a moment and then said, “Ash, I can’t help it if she has feelings for me.”

“But you can help make it so you’re not around her. And you can help being there for me!” Ashlyn pointed at Ali. “You haven’t been there for me, Ali. I put my whole life on hold for you when you were in Hawaii.”

“Ash, I will be done with this project in two days, and then I will have more time”, Ali said. “Look, I’m telling you, I don’t have feelings for Pam. I’m in love with you. You, Ashlyn Harris.”

“How do I know, Ali? I mean, you and Pam…you both grew up rich, went to college, work a job you both love, you spend all your time together. It’s like, you guys are perfect for each other, and I’m…” Ashlyn paused and looked down. “I’m just the dumb souvenir that you brought back from your trip to Hawaii.”

“Hon, noooo”, Ali said, her heart breaking. Tears were streaming out of her eyes now as well. “You’re not the souvenir I brought back from Hawaii. You’re the woman I fell in love with, who I asked to move here, so we could be together.”

“But we’re not together, Ali! Don’t you see that? You spend all your time with that bitch. I never see you”, Ashlyn said. “I took a huge chance and made a huge change in my life to come here, and all I asked is for you to be there for me, to make me feel at home here, just like I was there for you and did for you when you were in Hawaii.”

“Ash, look, I know I haven’t been around as much as you want me to be – as much as I want me to be. But, I’m working for us. I’ve been working to give both of us a secure future.”

“But this isn’t a future I want, Ali! I don’t want to be with someone who works so much that I never see her! It’s like, you’re more concerned with making money than spending time with me, the woman who you claim you love, who moved all the way here just to be with you!” 

“Ash, of course I want to spend as much time with you as possible. But this is real life, and as much as I’d love to spend every single waking moment with you, I just can’t. It’s about compromise, Ash.”

“How have you compromised, Ali? How!? You’ve been working non-stop since the day I got here, working with that spiteful bitch who hates me. She sees you ten times as much as I do. I left my entire life, everything I love, the beach, my friends and family, my whole lifestyle, to come here to be with you, and you told me that you’d always remember that I moved here for you, and that you’d always be there for me, and that you would do whatever you could to make me the happiest woman in the world. And you know, what, Ali? You haven’t! You haven’t done shit! And then, to see you with her…just…just makes me fucking sick!” Ashlyn was screaming again at Ali.

“Babe, please…" Ali trailed off.

Ashlyn was silent for a moment. Ali took another step forward and tried to touch Ashlyn, but Ashlyn stepped back again. Tears were still streaming down her face. Ali remained silent, tears streaming down her face, her head swirling with thoughts.

Ashlyn wiped the tears from her cheeks. She looked Ali in the eyes and then said, “Do you even really love me, Ali. Or was this all just some kind of fantasy?”

Ali was about to say, “Of course I love you”, when she and Ashlyn both heard a voice.

“What the fuck, Ali?! And what the fuck is going on out here?” Ali turned around and Ashlyn looked up to see Pam standing twenty feet away in the doorway of the lobby. Her left cheek bore a large red welt where Ali had hit her. Pam looked at Ashlyn, rolled her eyes and said, “Jesus H. Christ”, then looked at Ali and said, “Are we gonna finish this up or what?”

Ali stood there, motionless, her head overwhelmed with everything that was going on. She stared at Pam for a moment, and then looked at Ashlyn. Ashlyn, who hadn’t stopped crying since she saw Ali and Pam lip locked in Ali’s office, started bawling hard again at the sight of Pam. She glared at Pam, her face a twisted mask of pain, and spat out, “You’re fucking evil!”. Then she glared at Ali and said, “You fucking broke my heart. You brought me pain. First my parents' deaths, and then you.” Ashlyn paused for a second and then wailed at Ali, “You did nothing but lie to me! I should never have come here!” She took another two steps back, then turned around and started to run.

“Ashlyn – wait!” Ali wailed. But Ashlyn was off and running.


	25. Chapter 25

“Ashlyn?” Christen said. She stood at her front door, surprised to see the person standing in front of her.

Ashlyn stood there, tears in her eyes.

“Oh my God. What happened?” Christen asked. She had just finished dinner and was lying on her bed, listening to music, relaxing before she had to leave for band rehearsal, when she heard the knock on her door. She looked at the clock. It was just before 10pm.

Ashlyn stood there, breathing hard, almost panting. Christen could tell she was trying to say something but couldn’t get the words out. She stood there for a second and then pulled Ashlyn in for a hug. They stood there like that for a minute, and then Christen ushered Ashlyn into her coach house.

After Ashlyn had run away from Ali, she had wandered around aimlessly for almost an hour. She couldn’t go home, or back to Ali’s apartment, as she had just shifted to thinking about that as. She couldn’t go to any of Ali’s friends. Actually, she realized that she didn’t know how to get a hold of any of Ali’s friends, even if she had wanted to go to one of them, like Megan. She could go to work, but she was too broken up to go there. She wandered around a bit more, and then remembered that there was one person she knew that Ali didn’t.

Ashlyn entered Christen’s coach house and looked around. It was pretty much like her cottage back in Hawaii. Christen sat Ashlyn down on her bed, got her some tissues, and then sat down on the bed next to her.

“Ashlyn, tell me what happened”, she said in a calm, supporting voice.

“I-I-I don’t know if I can”, Ashlyn said. She wasn’t sure if she could talk about what she had just seen. That, coupled with the whole experience of things not working out the way she had thought they would, made her think that talking might be too painful right now.

“It’s okay”, Christen said. “Just relax and take your time. We don’t have to talk if you don’t want.”

Christen put her arm around Ashlyn and gave her another tissue. They stayed like that for almost thirty minutes. Then, Ashlyn said, “I guess I want to talk about it.” She told Christen about everything that had happened since she had moved here – Pam, Ali’s mother, feeling disappointed and trapped, feeling like she didn’t belong here, feeling like Ali wanted someone better, missing her life in Hawaii, finally talking with Ali and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, Ali making more of an effort, leaving her nice notes, and then, at the final hour, going to surprise Ali with dinner, only to see her kissing Pam, and then running out into the middle of the street and having it out with Ali. Christen sat there patiently, listening to Ashlyn talk, comforting her and interjecting only when Ashlyn asked for her thoughts.

“I just don’t know what to do”, Ashlyn said.

Christen stared at Ashlyn for a moment, then said, “I think you should go after her, Ashlyn.”

Ashlyn was surprised to hear that response from Christen. “W-w-why would you say that?” she asked. “I-I-I thought you liked me.”

Christen smiled a bit sadly at Ashlyn. “I do like you Ashlyn. I like you a lot. But, I can tell you are in love with her.”

“How can you tell?” Ashlyn asked.

“Because you wouldn’t be so broken up right now if you weren't.” Christen took Ashlyn’s hands and said, “Like I said, I like you…a lot. But, I want what’s best for you. I want for you to be happy.”

“I don’t know. I just don’t know what to do”, Ashlyn said again. “I mean, I just don’t know if I can go after her. I can’t take any more chances on any more heartbreak.”

“Look”, Christen said. “I haven’t known you for very long, Ashlyn but I can tell that you’re a good person. And good people are hard to come by. And, when I meet one, I want what’s best for that person. And you’re a good person.” And, in the most selfless move anyone has ever made, Christen said, “I want what’s best for you. Whether that’s here, there or somewhere else, or whether that includes me”, she paused and then continued, “ or doesn’t include me…” Christen looked into Ashlyn’s eyes, “you need to do what’s best for you, what will make you happy.”

“I don’t know. I just don’t know what that would be anymore”, Ashlyn said. “I’m so unhappy, and I don’t know where to start being happier. I mean, you’re the best thing I have these days.”

Christen smiled. She knew that she was a good thing in Ashlyn’s life, but she also knew that she wasn’t the solution to Ashlyn’s unhappiness. Ashlyn was in love with Ali. She wouldn’t be so broken up if she wasn’t. Christen thought for a moment and then said, “Well, then, maybe the best thing to do is to start by being somewhere that makes you happy.” She looked at Ashlyn and said, “Maybe you should go home. Back to Hawaii. Maybe you should start there, and build your way back up to being happy.”

Ashlyn stared at her. She was struck by Christen’s kindness and selflessness. She looked Christen in the eye and moved her face closer to Christen’s. They were still holding hands. Christen looked at Ashlyn for a moment. She moved a bit closer, and then dropped her gaze and pulled back.

“No, we…we can’t do this”, Christen said. Ashlyn didn’t say anything, so Christen continued. “I mean, I want to do this, but we can’t do this. Again, I want what’s best for you, and this isn’t going to help.”

Ashlyn stared at Christen for a moment, then said, “you’re so sweet…and so kind. Maybe…maybe if I had met you before I met Ali…maybe…well, maybe we could have had something together.”

“I know”, Christen said. “But that's not what happened. Things happened the way they did, and you need to do what’s best for you. Not for me, or not even for you and me, but for you.” Christen was still for a moment, and then leaned in and touched her forehead to Ashlyn’s. They stayed like that for a minute, then Ashlyn pulled back and looked into Christen’s eyes.

“Thank you”, she said to Christen.

“You’re welcome”, Christen said and smiled. She sat on the bed for a moment longer and then said, “Well, I’m supposed to have band rehearsal tonight, but I can call off if you want me to stay.”

“No, no…it’s okay.”

“Are you sure”, Christen asked.

“Yes, I’m sure, but thank you, though.”

“Okay. Well then, I’ll be back in a couple hours. You are more than welcome to stay here if you want. Here’s my cell”, she said, and wrote it on a piece of paper. “If you need anything else, or if you want me to come home early, let me know.”

“Thank you, again”. Ashlyn said.

“You’re welcome, again”, Christen said. She smiled at Ashlyn one more time, and then headed out the door. Ashlyn sat on Christen’s bed for five minutes, not doing anything. Then she took out her phone and made a call.

 

********

 

After Ashlyn had taken off running, Ali had stood there, shaking in the middle of the street. Pam was yelling at her to come back in, but she could barely hear her, almost like she was in a coke bottle. For a moment, Ali watched Ashlyn take off down the street. The she started running after her, yelling her name, but Ashlyn pulled further away, and the combination of Ali wearing heels and Ashlyn running full tilt and already being down the block, meant that there was no way Ali would catch her. Ali stopped running as she watched Ashlyn pull further away. She called Ashlyn’s name one last time and watched her turn a corner and disappear. Then she started walking slowly down the street. The world seemed like it was moving in slow motion. Her head was spinning and she couldn’t control her thoughts. What the hell had just happened? Did Pam just try to kiss me? Should I have seen that coming? If so, how did I not see that coming? Did Ashlyn really just see Pam try to kiss me? And how in the world did I ignore the thing that was most important to me? And for what? How the hell had it come to this? Ali thought.

Ali continued to walk until she got to the apartment. She realized she had forgotten her purse at the office, and it had her keys, wallet and cellphone in it, but she didn’t want to go back. She had the doorman in the lobby open up her apartment and she stumbled in. She hoped to see Ashlyn sitting there, but the apartment was empty. She sat down on the couch and stared at the floor. I met this wonderful woman, she thought. I fell for her, and I brought her all the way here to live with me. I promised her I would be there for her. I failed to do so, and she was waiting patiently for me. She put up with my crazy schedule. She placated my judgmental mother. She went to do something nice for me, and instead she caught me getting jumped by my conniving work partner. How did I let it come to this, she thought? She kicked off her heels and laid down on the couch, her world spinning, tears welling up in her eyes again, and waited for Ashlyn to come home.

 

********

 

Ali opened her eyes around 7am. She blinked a couple times and then realized she had fallen asleep on the couch. She was still in the suit she had worn yesterday. She felt like she had the biggest hangover, yet she had only drank a half a glass of wine. She reckoned she had finally fallen asleep somewhere around 4am or 5am. She stared blankly for a moment and then remembered what had happened the night before. She bolted up and ran to the bedroom, hoping to see Ashlyn in the bed. She imagined seeing her lying there, waking her up, telling her that she loved her, holding her close and telling her that she’ll never leave her alone ever again, Ashlyn telling her that it’s alright and that she forgives her, and that she loves her. But, Ashlyn wasn’t there. Seeing the bed empty caused Ali’s eyes to well up with tears again, and she stood there, crying for a full ten minutes. Then, as the tears died down, a feeling of dread and hopelessness started to overcome her, as she realized that she had no idea where Ashlyn was nor had she any idea of how to find her.

 

********

 

The team had finished the final run through of their pitch. Ali had dragged herself, numb to the core, through the whole day. The first thing she did when she got to the office was to grab her phone and call Ashlyn. No answer. She left a distraught voicemail, telling her how sorry she was and to please call back. Pam was all business, acting like nothing had happened the night before. Ali was still upset and in shock over what had happened but was too tired and distraught to bring anything up to her. She just wanted to get through the day and then go home so she could either see Ashlyn sitting there or figure out how to find her. She called Ashlyn six more times throughout the day. Each call went to voicemail. The team finished work around 6pm and Pam cut everyone loose. She wanted everyone well rested for the pitch tomorrow. It was the earliest Ali had left work in two months. She grabbed her purse and bolted from the office. She took a cab home so she could get home as soon as possible. She rushed into the apartment, hoping to see Ashlyn. The apartment was empty. Seeing the apartment empty made tears well up in her eyes again, and she cried for another ten minutes. She called Ashlyn again. Still no answer. She left another voicemail and then hung up. She sat down on her couch and then wandered into the bedroom and looked at Ashlyn’s side of the bed. She sat down on the bed and just stared at the floor. God, I miss her, Ali thought. It’s so funny. I’ve gone days in the last two months without seeing her, or only seeing her when she's been asleep, and I didn’t really think twice about it. Now, she’s gone, and every minute she’s not here is just killing me. Ali thought about that song “Don’t Know What You Got (Till It’s Gone)” by Cinderella, and shook her head. How could I have let this happen? she thought again. She stared at the ground for a moment longer, and then dialed a number on her phone. Megan appeared at her door a half hour later.

“Ali”, Megan said, as Ali opened the door. Megan entered the apartment, and the two of them sat down on the living room couch. “What on earth happened?”

“I don’t even know where to begin. I really screwed things up”, Ali said.

“Well, why don’t you start from the beginning”, Megan said, and put her arm comfortingly around Ali.

Ali sighed, took a deep breath, exhaled, and then started in. She told Megan about the talk that she and Ashlyn had after Ashlyn’s run-in with Pam at the festival, about how Ashlyn had told her that she was unhappy here in Chicago, about how she promised Ashlyn that things would get better after this project, about how she had started leaving notes for Ashlyn in the morning to remind Ashlyn that she loved her and was thinking about her. She told Megan about how Pam had come on to her at the office last night, and then how Ashlyn had come to the office to surprise Ali with dinner, and right as Ashlyn showed up, Pam had jumped her and kissed her, and how Ashlyn had said “Oh my God” and then ran out of the office. Then she told Megan about running out into the street after Ashlyn, how Ashlyn had let loose on her for kissing Pam and for everything that was not right, how she had felt horrible seeing Ashlyn cry, that she had let Ashlyn down, that Ashlyn felt lied to and betrayed, and how Ashlyn had run off into the night. She told Megan how she realized that she had been the cause of all of this, that she hadn’t prioritized right and should have put Ashlyn above everything else, and how she currently had no idea where Ashlyn was or how to find her. Ali talked for thirty minutes, and Megan just listened.

“Wow”, Megan said, after Ali as done. Part of her wanted to tell Ali that she was dumb for not doing what she should have done and made Ashlyn her first priority. But instead, she stayed positive and focused on how to best remedy the situation.

“I just don’t know what to do”, Ali said.

“Do you love her, Ali?”

“I do, Pinoe. I do.”

“Why didn’t you make her the top priority when you moved her here?”

“I don’t know”, Ali admitted. “Maybe because I’m so used to putting work first, and maybe I thought that things would get better once work calmed down, and that she would wait patiently for me, and that then I could spend the time with her that we both wanted, and…I don’t know…it was stupid of me…” Ali trailed off. She looked at Megan and said, “What do I do?”

“You do love her?” Megan asked to confirm.

“Yes, I do. I’ve been numb ever since last night. I’ve got the biggest pitch of my career tomorrow, and I have no idea how I’m going to focus on it. I can’t think of anything else but her.”

“Well, then you’ve got to go get her.”

‘What?” Ali said.

“Go get her”, Megan said. “Ali, you brought her here. She uprooted her whole life to be with you. You convinced her to come here, right? Like, you basically delivered an ultimatum to her to come here, or your relationship wasn’t going to progress, right?”

“Right.”

“And then she came here, and essentially, you haven’t been there for her as much as you told her you would, right?”

“Right”, Ali admitted.

“Well, then if you still love her, then you need to go get her.” Megan looked Ali in the eyes and said, “You owe it to her.“

“But how? How am I going to find her? I’ve called her like ten times, and she won’t answer. I have no idea where she is, or how to find her.”

“Well, I don’t know what to tell you on that. But, you did say that, in the beginning, you basically found her three times by random chance, right? Once when you first saw her surfing, once at some locals only restaurant, and then again when she saved your life, right?”

“Right.”

“Well, that’s a lot of times to find someone by chance. I think that means something. I’m not sure what, but I think that, somehow, somewhere, if you really want to find her, you’ll find her. But, in the meantime, I guess you just have to wait and see if she calls.”

Ali sighed and then buried her face in her hands. “I just feel like I fucked this whole thing up. The best thing that has ever happened to me, I just threw it away. I just wish I could turn back the clock and do things over.”

“Well, that would be nice”, Megan said, “but you can’t. All you can do now is do whatever you can do to find her, and when you do find her, you need to do whatever you can to get her back.”

“I don’t know, Pinoe”, Ali said. “Like I said, I don’t even know where to begin. I mean, she could be anywhere in this city.”

Megan thought for a moment and then said, “Or, she may not be in this city.”

“W-w-what do you mean? What are you saying Megan?”

Megan looked Ali straight in the eyes and said, “How far are you willing to go to get her back, Ali?”

 

********

 

Ali visited her mother for dinner that weekend. She didn’t really want to go, but her mother wanted to see her, and she hadn’t been up to the condo in a few weeks. It had been three days and she still hadn’t heard from Ashlyn. She sat in her mother’s condo at the dinner table, picking at her braised ribs and julienne vegetables.

“Ali, honey, are you alright?” Debbie asked her daughter.

“I’m fine, Mom”, Ali answered.

“Are you sure, honey? You seem…I don’t know…upset.”

“No, no, I’m fine. It was just…a busy week at work.”

Debbie sat silent for a minute and then asked, “How’s Ashlyn doing? Did she find a real job yet?”

Ali sat still and stared at her plate of food. Her lower lip quivered, and then the floodgates opened. Tears started pouring out of her eyes and down her cheeks. She bolted from the table and she ran into the room that used to be hers. She laid down on the bed and sobbed into the pillow. Debbie came in right behind her and sat on the edge of the bed.

“Ali? Honey? What on earth is wrong?”

“She left me”, Ali said through heaving sobs.

“Awwww, I’m sorry, honey. Well, you know, I’m not sure if it was a good match for you anyway”, Debbie said.

“Mom! Stop! Please!” Ali sat up and shouted at her mother. “Look, I know you don’t like her, but I’m fucking heartbroken right now, and I really could use your support, and I wish you could just be my mom right now, and not be so fucking judgmental!”

Debbie sat there, shocked. She had no idea what had happened with Ashlyn, but she clearly had underestimated how much Ashlyn meant to her daughter. She sat silent for a minute, and then said softly, “Ali…honey…I’m so sorry. Please, honey, why don’t you tell me what happened.”

“Why?” Ali said. “You don’t like her, why would you care?”

“Because you’re my daughter, and I love you.” Debbie’s voice cracked. It was true – she pushed her daughter hard, and she wanted her to be financially secure, but she loved her daughter and it pained her to see Ali so broken up. “And I want you to be happy”, Debbie said. “Please, honey…tell me what happened.”

So Ali sat up and through sniffles told her mother everything that had happened. Debbie sat and, for the first time Ali could remember, did not interrupt or turn the conversation. She listened as Ali recounted everything that had happened since Ashlyn had moved to Chicago to be with her. When Ali was done, Debbie took her daughter’s hand.

“Ali", Debbie said. "First off, it breaks my heart to see you so distraught. I had no idea that Ashlyn meant so much to you, and I’m sorry if I said anything that lead to her running away.” Ali kept sniffling, so Debbie continued. “Secondly, I know I have driven you hard to succeed. I know I am worried about you being financially secure, and maybe overbearingly so. But", Debbie said, and then looked at her daughter, "I also know that I want to see you happy. And right now, you are as unhappy as I’ve ever seen you, maybe even as unhappy or more than when your father passed away.”

Ali sniffled some more, and Debbie handed her a tissue. “I just don’t know what to do, Mom.”

“Well, dear, you need to do what you think is best.”

“Well, I don’t know what’s best”, Ali said.

“Well, let’s start with what you want the most.”

“I want to be happy”, Ali said.

“Well, what would make you happiest the most?”

“Being with Ashlyn, Mom.”

“Well, then you should make it your goal to be with Ashlyn.”

“But I don’t know where she is”, Ali said.

“Well, unfortunately I can’t help you with that, but I can tell you that, once you find her, you should be prepared.”

“Be prepared for what?” Ali asked.

“Be prepared to do whatever it takes to make her happy. That is, if what you want is to be with her and make her happy.”

“Well, I know she doesn’t want me to work so much. She doesn’t care about how much money I make. But you do”, Ali said. Even through her despair she was still trying to bridge the gap between her own happiness and pleasing her mother.

“Ali. Listen to me. Yes, there are things that I want. Things that I want for you. But”, Debbie said and then paused, “if what you want isn’t what I want, and if what you want will truly make you happy, well then…I will be okay if you don’t do what I want.” She looked at her daughter and smiled. It was true. Debbie wanted things, but more than anything, she wanted her only daughter to be happy, and, if that meant that Ali didn’t follow the dreams that Debbie had for Ali, well, then, she would just have to accept that, knowing that her daughter was happy. She looked at Ali straight in the eyes and said, "I want you to be happy, honey. That is the most important thing to me."

Ali blew her nose and then smiled at her mom. Then she leaned in and gave her mother a hug. “Thanks, Mom.”

Debbie laughed. “For what, honey?”

“For being my mom."

 

********

 

“And I’m delighted to announce that, due to the hard work of the pitch team, lead by Ali and Pam, we have won the Kensington account and are now Kensington's official marketing agency!” Jillian Ellis, the CEO of Digitalworks, announced proudly and clapped her hands. Everyone erupted into applause. Pam raised her arms in victory. They were in the large main reception area of the Digitalworks office. Jillian had called an officewide meeting to announce the win of the Kensington account and congratulate the team that had worked on the pitch in front of the entire agency. Chief Operations Officer Pia Sundhage stood by Jillian’s side and popped the champagne. Abby beamed at Ali and Pam with pride. Ali smiled as best she could, but inside she felt numb. She had put on her professional face and made it through the pitch, but all she could think about for the last week was Ashlyn. One week had passed since Ashlyn had run into the night, and Ali still hadn’t heard from her. She had called Ashlyn a dozen times each day, and all of her calls had gone to voicemail. Every time Ali came back to the apartment and found it empty she cried. Every time she woke up and found Ashlyn not there she cried. Ali hadn’t slept more than a couple of hours each night. She would come home right after work and wait for Ashlyn to return. Last night, Ali had remembered her conversation with Ashlyn in Hawaii, in Ashlyn’s cottage, when they had their first big argument, when Ali had delivered her ultimatum, and Ali remembered Ashlyn saying something about using a gun and killing herself if she went with Ali to Chicago and things didn’t work out. Ali had jumped off her couch as soon as she remembered that and went to the police station to file a missing persons report. Then she had sent Ashlyn a text. It just said:

Ali: Ashlyn – I’m so sorry. I know you are upset right now, but I am sick with worry over you. I don’t know where you are or how to find you. I know you may not want to talk with me right now, but please text me back so I know you are okay. I love you, Ali

Ali stood there, glass of champagne in hand, doing her best to look happy. The pitch, which should have been the pinnacle of her career so far, somehow meant nothing now. She was accepting congratulations from co-workers when Abby came up to her, all smiles.

“Ali, congratulations. Great job. Big win for the agency, and for you”, she said, a huge grin on her face.

“Thanks, Abby.”

“Listen, I was thinking about our talk a couple months ago, about what’s in store for you here, and I think we should meet to talk.”

“Uh, great, sounds good”, Ali said, trying to muster up enthusiasm.

“I’ve been talking with the executive staff, and I have an opportunity that I think you will find interesting. Why don’t we set an appointment for next week to get together in my office and talk-“

Ali’s phone buzzed. She looked at it. It was a text from Ashlyn. It said:

Ashlyn: I’m okay

“Uh, Abby, um…I’m sorry, but I have to go.” Ali set her glass down and bolted out of the office.

 

********

 

Ali got home as quick as she could. As she had been for the last week, she was hoping she would find Ashlyn in the apartment, but the apartment was empty. Ali paced around and thought. Ashlyn was okay. That was good. But where could she be? She paced for a few more minutes and then went into the bedroom. She looked around and found the hoodie that said Chicago on it that she had bought Ashlyn when they had first arrived at the airport. She picked it up and inhaled, breathing in Ashlyn’s scent. Tears started to well up in her eyes as she did, and she sat down on the bed. She closed her eyes and tried to let her mind wander. Despite their situation, she tried to think about the good times she and Ashlyn had shared. She remembered first seeing Ashlyn as she paddled in towards the beach on her surfboard at Magic Island. She remembered their first meeting at Sidestreet. She remembered coming back from unconsciousness on Waikiki Beach and seeing Ashlyn staring into her eyes after she had saved her life. She remembered taking Ashlyn out to dinner, their first kiss, going surfing, fishing and making love for the first time on the boat. She remembered hiking, the hidden cove behind the waterfall, driving around the island, and making love on Ashlyn’s secret beach. She remembered making fun of how there were only three expressways in Hawaii, and how she and Ashlyn had jockeyed back and forth over using the term freeway versus expressway. God, she thought. I remember all of these things so vividly, every detail, as if they happened yesterday. I remember them so much more vividly than anything that has happened in the last two months, besides that horrible night a week ago, when Ashlyn ran away. How is that? Maybe that place is magic, she thought, referring to Hawaii and remembering the words of the driver that had picked her up from the airport and drove her to her hotel. She remembered meeting Ashlyn’s family, and stepping into Ashlyn’s cottage for the first time. As she thought about Ashlyn’s cottage, she remembered making fun of Ashlyn’s ancient laptop, and then a thought crossed her mind. Then she thought about what Megan had said, and she bolted up, ran into the living room and opened her laptop.


	26. Chapter 26

Ashlyn sat on her secret beach, staring out at the ocean. It’s like it had all been a dream, she thought. A crazy, sometimes wonderful, but often painful, confusing, and at times downright nightmarish dream.

After Christen had left her coach house to rehearse with her band, Ashlyn had called Aunt Christie. That had been two weeks ago. They had talked for over an hour, and at the end of their talk they had decided that it would be best if Ashlyn came back to Hawaii. Christie booked Ashlyn a plane ticket and transferred some travel money into Ashlyn’s bank account. After hanging up with Christie, Ashlyn had shut her eyes and fallen asleep on Christen’s bed. She had woken up around 4am. For a moment she couldn’t remember where she was, but then she looked over and saw Christen lying beside her. Christen had covered Ashlyn with a blanket and was lightly sleeping herself. Ashlyn sat up and Christen stirred. She woke Christen up and told her that she had spoken with her aunt and had booked a plane ticket to Hawaii for a flight departing at noon. Christen said she was bummed to see Ashlyn go, but she understood that was best. They laid down and tried to sleep for a few more hours, and then Christen drove Ashlyn to the bank and then to the airport. They hugged a prolonged hug goodbye. They did not kiss. Then Ashlyn checked in, went through security, and boarded her flight with nothing but the clothes she was wearing.

Ashlyn spent the whole flight in a state of anxiety. She didn’t like flying as it was, and this time she didn’t have anyone to comfort her. She thought about Ali multiple times on the flight, and each time she did, tears welled up in her eyes. The flight attendant serving her area noticed and brought her some tissues.

Hope picked Ashlyn up from the airport. They immediately drove to Christie’s house. Christie and Whitney were there. They hugged Ashlyn and told her everything would be alright. Christie had prepared dinner, but Ashlyn said she wasn’t hungry. Ashlyn went back to her cottage and laid down in her bed. She was still overwrought with emotion, but she was exhausted, and she found comfort in being home on the island. She closed her eyes and slept off and on for almost 24 hours. She woke up the next evening and went into the house to get something to eat. Christie was there, and they talked. They talked the whole evening. Ashlyn told Christie through tears all about her experience in Chicago, how Ali hadn’t been there for her like she said she was going to be, and then how she saw Ali and Pam kissing in Ali’s office. Even though Ashlyn wanted to believe Ali when Ali said Pam had jumped her, the image of them kissing was still burned in her mind, and it still hurt, if for no other reason than it reminded Ashlyn that Ali had spent way more time with Pam than with her, whether she had wanted to or not, and infidelity or not. Christie held Ashlyn and stroked her hair as she cried and talked. Then Ashlyn went back to her cottage and stayed there for the next few days. She thought frequently about Ali, and each time she thought about Ali, the tears came.

Ashlyn had started to venture out a few days later. She wasn’t ready to work, but she had told Hope to let everyone know that she was back, and that she would be making the rounds soon. She took the next few days to enjoy being back on the island. She went surfing and fishing. She ate at her favorite places. She went to her favorite haunts. Seeing familiar places helped to ease the pain, but she still thought about Ali regularly, and she avoided any specific spots that she had taken Ali to. It’s funny, Ashlyn thought. This is my home, but having taken Ali to so many places kind of makes those places hers now, too, and it will be painful for me to visit them.

After a week of being home, Ashlyn finally decided to visit some of the places she had taken Ali. She went to the surf spot near Diamond Head. She went fishing on Malia with John John and his brother at the ledge near the west side of Oahu. She went hiking at Manoa Falls. She ate at Sidestreet with Hope and Whitney. She cried at each spot, but she needed to see them and hoped that someday she could see them without thinking of Ali.

Finally, three days ago, she had visited her secret beach for the first time since she had returned to Hawaii. It was the place she had been avoiding the most, but she gathered the courage to go. The first day she visited, she cried the entire two hours she was there, looking at the spot in the sand where she and Ali had made love, and looking out into the water where they had gone swimming. It was painful, but she told herself that this was her beach, and that she couldn’t let painful memories spoil it. She came back the next day and cried a little less. She came back the day after and cried even less.

Now, she was sitting on her beach, for the fourth day in a row. She had only cried a little when she had first arrived an hour ago. Yes, the pain was still there, but this was her beach, and she was determined to reclaim it. She needed a place for herself, and this was the one place where she needed to be able to go, to get away from everything and find peace and solitude. Someday it will be that way once again, she thought, as she looked out onto the sparkling blue water. Her thoughts turned to Ali, swimming naked, laughing, gliding up to her and kissing her as they played in the water, and tears welled up in her eyes. She still couldn’t believe the whole thing. She had fallen for Ali, moved across the world, only to have her heart broken, and so she moved back, thousands of miles, to the one place she should be safe. And she’s still here, Ashlyn thought. She’s still in my thoughts, and I just can’t get rid of her. I still love her. God damn it, Ali Krieger, Ashlyn thought. I wish it was all just a bad dream that I’d wake up from soon, and then it would all be over. Well, I’m never going through that again, Ashlyn thought. I’m never leaving this island, ever again, and I’m never falling in love, ever again. She closed her eyes and listened to the gentle ocean waves lapping on the shore, then laid back down onto the sand and fell asleep.

Ashlyn opened her eyes. The sun had gone from its midday blaze to a late afternoon glow. I slept, she thought. I actually slept. That was the best sleep I’ve had in two weeks. She sat up halfway, rubbed her eyes, and looked around. And froze.

Standing ten feet away from her was Ali Krieger. She was wearing a white sarong and holding a purple and white hibiscus flower in her hand. She looked at Ashlyn with regretful, apologetic eyes and smiled slightly. Ashlyn couldn’t believe what she was seeing. She rubbed her eyes again, and then again, and Ali was still there. She tried to speak, but no words came out.

“Hi”, Ali said softly. Her voice was barely audible above the gentle waves lapping on the shore.

Ashlyn continued to stare.

“It’s me, babe”, Ali said.

Ashlyn continued to stare for a moment and then spoke. “A-a-are you really here?”

“Yes, babe”, Ali said. “I’m really here.”

“W-w-what...what are you doing here?” Ashlyn asked.

After Ali had remembered making fun of Ashlyn’s ancient laptop, she had opened up her own laptop, the laptop that she and Ashlyn had shared, and had gone online. She had paged through the browsing history and found the surf cam website that Ashlyn used, and she looked through the surf cams that Ashlyn had been looking at. It was the longest long shot ever, but Megan had reminded her that she had encountered Ashlyn randomly the first three times they had met, and Ali had nothing else to go on. She had monitored surf cams often for two days straight, when she glanced at her screen and her jaw dropped. Coming out of the water at Sunset Beach was Ashlyn. She walked right by the cam, and although she didn’t look right into it, Ali knew it was her. After getting over the initial shock, the first thought Ali had was, Ashlyn is alive. She’s alive, and she’s safe. Thank God, Ali thought and breathed a sigh of relief. The second thought she had was, Ashlyn is back in Hawaii. She actually went back to Hawaii. Ali thought about calling her, to tell her that she knew Ashlyn was back in Hawaii, but she figured, what's the use in that? Ashlyn won't call back. Then, Ali thought about her talk with Megan, and what Megan had said – how badly do you want her back?

The day after Ali saw Ashlyn on a surf cam, she spoke with Abby and asked for a week off of work. She told Abby she needed to attend to some personal matters. Abby gave Ali the time off because of the big Kensington win and the fact that Ali had worked so hard on the pitch. Ali promised to meet with Abby about Abby's idea for a new opportunity for Ali as soon as she was back in the office, knowing there was a chance she might not return. Then Ali booked a seat on the next flight to Hawaii and a room at the Sheraton in Waikiki. Upon her arrival, she rented a car and started looking for Ashlyn. She was going to stop by Christie’s house, but she figured than Ashlyn would have told Christie all about what had happened, and she didn't feel like she would be able to face Christie right now. Ali was also trying to avoid Hope, since she figured that Ashlyn might have told her as well. So, for the last four days, Ali had been searching the island, hoping to run into Ashlyn. She hiked Manoa Falls and went to the surf spot near Diamond Head. She stopped by Kewalo Basin. She had driven the same drive that Ashlyn had taken her on, up through the north shore and down the windward side. She passed Chinaman’s Hat, and that was when she thought about seeing if she could find Ashlyn on her secret beach. She had stopped by a few days ago but hadn’t seen Ashlyn. She had come by yesterday, in the morning, but hadn't seen her then, either. She had thought about maybe just camping out on the beach, but she had decided against that, and instead decided to come by one last time today, before she went to Christie's house and started banging on Ashlyn's cottage door. She had arrived a half hour ago, and her heart had swooned when she saw Ashlyn sleeping on the beach. She was here, Ali thought. She was really here. The woman I love, who I thought I might never see again, was right here, in front of me. Ali approached Ashlyn quietly as she slept. She thought about waking her up, but Ashlyn looked like she was sleeping peacefully, and Ali figured Ashlyn may not have slept much recently, since she had not slept much recently herself. She wanted to let her sleep, so she waited patiently until Ashlyn woke up.

Ali looked at Ashlyn. She took a deep breath and then exhaled. “I came here to find you.”

Ashlyn stared at Ali in a mixture of shock and amazement. “How did you find me?”

Ali smiled shyly. “I’ve been searching for you ever since I got here, four days ago.” Ashlyn was silent, so Ali continued. “Remember when we first met at Sidestreet? I asked you how I could see you again, and you told me, ‘You found me twice. You’ll find me again’. So I followed that logic and hoped I would run into you.” She smiled a bit, and Ashlyn nodded in understanding.

“I-I-I can’t believe you’re here”, Ashlyn said.

“That’s what I thought when you moved to Chicago for me. I remember holding you in the living room of the apartment and saying that exact same thing to myself”, Ali asked.

Ashlyn stared at Ali for a moment and then said, “W-w-wait. What are you saying, Ali?”

Ali walked over slowly and knelt down next to Ashlyn. “I’m moving here, Ashlyn. I’m moving here to be with you.” Ali looked into Ashlyn’s eyes, and said, “I love you, Ashlyn Harris.” Ashlyn didn’t say anything, so Ali continued on. “I’m so sorry, about everything. I’m so sorry that I didn’t take care of you when you were in Chicago, even though I promised I would. I’m so sorry that I wasn’t there for you, and that I didn’t make you the happiest woman in the world, even though I told you I would.” Ali took a deep breath, exhaled, and then said. “I love you, Ashlyn. I love you, and I don’t want to be without you. Since you left, the last two weeks have been the worst two weeks of my life, and all I want is for you to take me back and give me another chance.” Tears were forming in her eyes. 

Ashlyn stared. Could this really be happening? Ali was here. She was really here. She had flown all the way from Chicago, and she was saying that she was moving here to be with Ashlyn. But still Ashlyn couldn’t quite believe it. Tears were forming in her eyes as well. She sat up fully and said, “B-b-but, what about your life in Chicago? Everything you have there?”

“I don’t want it, and I don’t need it, if having it means not having you”, Ali said, her voice filled with stark honesty. "I'd give it all up just for another chance to make things right with you."

Ashlyn said, “I-I-I…I just don’t know. I mean, y-y-you’ve hurt me so badly, Ali, and I just don't know if I can take the chance of being…hurt…again", she trailed off.

“I know”, Ali said softly. “I know.” Then she leaned in a bit and smiled slightly. “Do you remember when we went to the Cubs game that one day, and then we watched Crocodile Dundee later that night?”

“Of course”, Ashlyn said, and then smiled slightly herself. “The day we ended up on both the jumbotron and the 10 o'clock news?”

“Yes, that day”, Ali said and laughed lightly. “Do you remember what you told me that night?” Ali paused. “You told me that you like happy endings.”

“I remember”, Ashlyn said.

“Well, I do, too. And I want to give you a happy ending”, Ali said. “A real happy ending, not just the kind I gave you that night”, she said and smiled a bit again, trying for a spot of levity in what was probably the most serious conversation she had ever had. “I know our relationship didn't work out when we were living in Chicago, and that was all on me. I want to make it up to you. Please just give me another chance, and I will do whatever it takes to make it right this time, here, in Hawaii. I’m willing to give up my whole life in Chicago, everything, starting now, for another chance with you.”

Ashlyn stared at her, tears rolling down her cheeks. She still couldn’t believe what was happening. “A-a-are you really here?” she asked Ali again.

“Yes, babe”, Ali verified. “I am really here.”

“I can’t believe this is happening”, Ashlyn said.

Ali scooted closer to Ashlyn. “Anything can happen, beautiful”, she said. “I mean, look, I’m here”, she said, remembering that Ashlyn had said the exact same thing to her the night they had watched Crocodile Dundee together. Ali smiled and then extended her hand that was holding the hibiscus flower.

Ashlyn took it, her fingers trembling, remembering that she had given Ali a flower, the same kind of flower, the night of their first date. She looked at it for a moment, and then looked at Ali and said, “You need to promise me that you’ll never hurt me again”, Ashlyn said, in a voice that was barely more than a whisper, as she looked into Ali’s eyes. She has the most amazing eyes, Ashlyn thought.

“I promise, babe”, Ali said, barely whispering herself. The water gently lapped in the background. “I promise.” Ashlyn looked down, then looked at the flower in her hand, then looked again at Ali, and then she wrapped her arms around Ali’s neck. Ali’s arms went around Ashlyn’s waist. Tears flowed, and the two women stayed like that for a minute. Then Ali pulled just her head back a bit and put her forehead to Ashlyn’s. “I love you, Ashlyn Harris”, she said softly, her voice trembling.

“I love you, Ali Krieger”, Ashlyn replied.

Ali kept her forehead pressed to Ashlyn’s for another minute, and then pressed her lips to Ashlyn’s. They stayed like that for another minute, and then Ashlyn deepened the kiss. They remained like that for another few minutes, and then Ashlyn pulled back a bit, her arms still around Ali's neck. Ali looked at her, smiled, and wiped the tears from Ashlyn's face with her thumbs. They stayed like that, embraced in silence for a minute. Then Ashlyn asked, “How did you know I would take you back? I mean, how did you know that you wouldn’t come all the way here, and even if you found me, I wouldn’t turn you away?”

Ali looked at Ashlyn. “I didn’t”, she said. She paused for a moment and then said, “I took a chance. Just like you took a chance for me.” She smiled at Ashlyn and said, "It's the least I could do." Then she took Ashlyn into her arms again and kissed her, and they stayed like that until the sun went down, a burning orange globe over the sparkling water.


	27. Chapter 27

Epilogue 1

After Ali and Ashlyn reunited on Ashlyn’s secret beach, Ashlyn slowly started getting back to work, resuming her part-time positions as a lifeguard, a surf instructor and a deckhand on John John’s brother’s fishing boat. Ali stayed in the hotel and took the next few days to find an apartment. They had discussed Ali moving into Ashlyn’s cottage right away, but after much consideration they actually decided against it. There was a lot at stake this time around, and they both knew it, so they decided to take things slow. Ali found a sparsely furnished one bedroom apartment on a month-to-month lease above a _lei_ flower necklace shop in the Kaimuki area, not too far from the Sheraton hotel in Waikiki. It was a big step down in terms of size and luxury from her stunning apartment on Lake Shore Drive in Chicago, but Ali was okay with that. The apartment was clean, it was in a good location, and it was just a ten minute drive from where Ashlyn lived.

Ali and Ashlyn spent most of the next few days talking. They talked about what had failed in their relationship in Chicago, and how they could do things better in Hawaii. They both acknowledged that just changing locations wasn’t going to guarantee a successful relationship. There were other things that would have to change, regardless of where they lived. Ali admitted that the failure of their relationship in Chicago had rested on her shoulders. They both agreed that the largest contributor was Ali not being around enough for Ashlyn. Now that they were in Hawaii, Ashlyn had a whole life of her own and wouldn’t feel like the only thing she had was Ali, but even so, Ashlyn still told Ali that she wanted Ali to be working to live, and not living to work. She understood that Ali needed to make a living, and she also understood that Ali was naturally driven, but she didn’t want Ali working all day and all night, all the time. Ali told Ashlyn that she understood, and that she would try to keep a lid on how may hours she worked, as well as try to manage her expectations that she would probably never be the CEO of a large marketing agency, but that the change wouldn’t happen overnight. She had been in the mindset of getting to the top for so long that it would take a bit of time to make that mental transition. Ashlyn understood, and Ali knew that being in Hawaii would make it easier for Ashlyn for be patient. On the flipside, Ashlyn promised that she would never leave Ali feeling neglected like Ali had left her. Now that the roles were reversed, it was Ali who was without friends and family, and Ashlyn pledged to be there for Ali and help her as much as she could with the transition to life on the island.

For Ashlyn’s part, the one thing she needed to address with Ali was Christen. There had been a couple of close calls in Chicago, and even though those close calls were a result of Ali’s neglect and absence, Ashlyn still felt bad. She still wasn’t 100% sure of all of the factors that contributed to her being attracted to Christen, and right up until she and Ali talked about it, she was still on the fence of even bringing the whole thing up. But in the spirit of putting everything out on the table, Ashlyn decided to get it out in the open. They were having dinner at Ali’s apartment: pan-fried mahi mahi with mango relish, fried rice with Portuguese sausage and lau lau pork wrapped in taro leaf. It was day two of their talks, and they had just finished talking about how Ashlyn would do what she could to be there for Ali, now that it was Ali who had moved halfway around the world to be with Ashlyn.

“Hey, beautiful?” Ashlyn started warily.

“Yes, babe?”

“Um…since we're talking about…well…everything…I need to tell you something.”

“Okay.”

“And please – let me finish before you say anything”, Ashlyn said, as she put down her fork.

“Okay…” Ali said, and put down her fork as well. She could tell by the tone of Ashlyn’s voice that whatever Ashlyn was about to say was going to be tough for her to get out.

Ashlyn paused for a moment. She was nervous to say what she was about to say, and in the back of her mind she knew she was risking Ali becoming upset enough to move back to Chicago. But, she figured that, since they were talking about everything, there was no better time to bring this up than now, and at this moment Ali would probably be as receptive as she would ever be to hearing this. And if not…well, it was better to know now than later.

“So, I need to tell you that…um…I met someone when I was living in Chicago.” Ali stared at her, but as requested, didn’t say anything, so Ashlyn continued. “I met her at Mother’s. Her band played there one night when I was working. It was a night when I was really feeling neglected. I actually remember the night. You and I hadn’t had dinner together in two weeks, and we were supposed to have dinner together that night, before I went in to work, and I was making fried rice for us, but you canceled dinner on me to work late.”

“I remember”, Ali said. She was going to say that she remembered it was the first time Ashlyn had gotten verbally upset with Ali for canceling dinner and hung up the phone on her without saying ‘I love you’, but then she realized she wasn’t supposed to say anything until Ashlyn was done talking, so she held that in for now, and made a mental note to mention that later.

“Anyway, so I met her, and then after the bar closed, we went out together to get something to eat. And, I don’t know why I went with her, but for some reason, I did. Maybe it was because I was feeling neglected by you, or maybe I was attracted to her for some other reason, but I don’t know.”  
“Okay…” Ali said again. She was starting to get a bad feeling about where this was going, and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to hear the rest, but she knew that they needed to be able to talk, about everything, even the hard stuff, if they were going to make their relationship work this time, so she kept quiet and let Ashlyn continue.

“Anyway, um…nothing happened”, Ashlyn continued. She looked down for a moment and then looked up. “Actually, that’s not totally true. I went to see her band play again one night two weeks later, when you were working. Actually, that night, you had called me in the early evening to tell me that you ended up not having to work super late and could actually be home in time for a late dinner, but I had already told myself that I would go see her play. And, I don’t know why I went to see her again, but maybe, again, maybe it was because I was feeling neglected by you, because even though you ended up being free for dinner that night, you had missed so many dinners with me previously. Or maybe it was because she was the one person I knew who you didn’t know, and she was the one person I could look at that didn’t remind me of you and of how unhappy I was living in Chicago. Or maybe it was something else. I don’t know…” Ashlyn trailed off, took a deep breath, exhaled, and then said, “After her show, I walked her home. She asked me to come in to her place, and I said no. But…” Ashlyn paused and looked down again, and when she looked up, her eyes were moist, “we were close to kissing...but we didn't...but there was a part of me that kind of wanted to...”

Ali looked down.

“I’m sorry, beautiful”, Ashlyn said. “And, again, I don’t know why I was attracted to her, but…” Ashlyn trailed off again.

When Ali looked back up, her eyes were moist as well. “I remember the night you met her”, Ali said. “It was the first time you had ever gotten upset with me for canceling dinner. I remember you hung up the phone on me without saying “I love you’. And, I also remember the night you went to see her band play. It was a Monday night, three days before the Kensington pitch. I remember because I was really excited to get out of work at a semi-decent hour and have dinner with you, but when I called you, you said you had to go to work. I was really bummed out, and I remember thinking that it was odd that you were working, because you didn’t usually work on Mondays. And”, Ali continued, “now that I think about it, there was something different in your voice that evening, when we spoke on the phone. I couldn’t put my finger on it then, but now I know why.” Ashlyn sat silent, so Ali asked, “So, in the end, nothing happened?”

“No. I walked away”, Ashlyn said.

“And, did you ever see her again?” Ali asked.

Ashlyn looked down, and then looked up. “Yes. Once more. After I saw you and Pam kissing at the office – well, after I saw Pam come on to you at the office, when I ran away, I ended up at her place. Again, she’s the only person I knew who you didn’t, and I actually didn’t have anywhere else to go. I couldn’t go back to your apartment, and I don’t have Megan’s or anyone else’s numbers, and I didn’t make any friends at work.”

Ali noted that Ashlyn had said “to your apartment”, not “to our apartment” or “to our place” or “home”. There’s no way Ashlyn could have shifted from thinking about the apartment as being both of theirs to just Ali's apartment in the short period of time since she came back here, Ali thought. It suddenly became apparent to Ali the degree to which Ashlyn had not felt at home in Chicago. Maybe she had never felt at home there, Ali thought, and the thought of that saddened her, since she knew that it was her doing, or more like what she hadn't done, that had made Ashlyn not feel at home. She was going to say something, but she decided to hold it in for now, and she prompted Ashlyn to continue. “So…?”

“So I slept there that night. And the next day, I jumped on a plane to come back home.”

Again, the use of the word “home” – not applied to the apartment they shared in Chicago, but to Hawaii. I failed, Ali thought. I don’t like hearing about this other woman, but I definitely didn’t help the situation. She looked into Ashlyn’s eyes and asked, “And, did anything happen that night?”

“No”, Ashlyn said, resolutely. “We talked, and I told her everything that was happening and had happened between you and me, and then she went to band rehearsal, and I fell asleep on her bed, and when I woke up at like 4am she was sleeping next to me, but nothing happened. We were fully clothed, and not even sharing covers, and I had my own blanket. We woke up the next day and then she drove me to the airport. And then we hugged goodbye.”

“She knew about me?” Ali asked.

“Yes. I told her about you the first night we met”, Ashlyn said.

Ali sat and thought. The fact that Ashlyn had told this other woman about her was a good sign. It meant that Ashlyn wasn’t trying to hide anything. But, Ali was still upset. She was upset, but she wasn’t exactly sure of all of the reasons why. Part of it, for sure, was the fact that Ashlyn had been spending time with another woman. Even if she hadn’t really been physically cheating, she had still spent time with another woman over spending time with Ali. But, as much as that thought hurt, Ali was hurt just as much, if not more, by the thought that her own neglect of Ashlyn was what had caused that to happen. She knew that it was her not being there for Ashlyn that had caused Ashlyn to stray in the first place. She took a deep breath and said, “Ash, I-I-I don’t know what to say. I mean, this hurts to hear, but I know that it was me not being there for you that caused this.” Then as if requiring affirmation, Ali asked, “Can I ask you something? Would this have happened if I had been there for you like I should have been?”

“No”, Ashlyn said without hesitating. “Never.”

Ali smiled slightly, but then her smile dropped and she looked down. “And…” this, Ali thought, was going to be painful to ask, but I have to know, “did you ever feel at home in Chicago, ever?”

Ashlyn paused for a moment and then delivered the truth. “No.”

Ali looked down again. I need to make a decision, she thought. I need to decide if I can move past this, or if this is going to hold me up, and in turn, be an issue for us. She was thinking, still looking down, when Ashlyn spoke.

“Ali?” Ashlyn said. “Say something, please…” she asked, in a pleading voice.

Ali looked up. She paused for a moment and then said, “Ash, I understand that the reason you never felt at home in Chicago was because I wasn’t there to support you and help you transition to your new life there. And, I also understand that what happened with this other woman was because I wasn’t there for you. Now, it still hurts to hear what you just said, but again, I understand.” She stared at Ashlyn for a moment and then smiled slightly. “I can get past this. And, I will promise you that I will always be there for you in the future.”

Ashlyn smiled slightly and reached across the table to grab Ali’s hand. “And I will make sure that I am always there for you, too”, she said.

Ali switched the grip and ran her thumb over Ashlyn’s hand. “I’m glad you told me”, Ali said. Then she looked down, paused, and looked back up, right into Ashlyn’s eyes. “And babe – please, promise me you will always talk to me - about anything. Even if you think I won’t want to hear it. I want to know everything you are thinking, and I want to know sooner rather than later.”

“I will”, Ashlyn said and then smiled. “Same goes for you, too.” Ali smiled back. Ashlyn stared at Ali for a moment, and then she got off her chair. She walked around the table and straddled Ali as Ali remained sitting on her chair. She looked down at Ali, and Ali stroked Ashlyn’s hair. Then Ashlyn leaned in to kiss Ali, and the two stayed like that for a while.

 

********

 

Ali flew back to Chicago a week after she had flown to Hawaii to find Ashlyn. She stayed only as long as it took to tie up some loose ends, promising Ashlyn that she would be back as soon as possible. She broke the lease on her luxury apartment, eating the security deposit in the process. She boxed up the few things that were either Ashlyn’s or things that included Ashlyn, like photos, and had them shipped to Christie’s house for Ashlyn and her to sort through at a later date. She had brought an empty suitcase with her, and she packed some more clothes and sentimental odds and ends in her suitcase to take back to Hawaii. She sold the rest of her belongings, and that which she could not sell she either gave away or donated to Goodwill. Then she got a room at the nearby Drake Hotel for the next few days until she left for Hawaii. She sold her car and made the necessary financial arrangements for her move.

Two days after Ali got back to Chicago she went into the Digitalworks office and spoke with Abby. She told Abby about her situation with Ashlyn. She also told her about what had happened with Pam. Abby offered to investigate the matter, but Ali declined, at least on her part. She was ready to leave the past in the past and start her new life. Ali also let Abby know that she would be resigning effective immediately. Abby was sorry to see Ali go, but she understood. She also agreed to help Ali out with any job leads she could think of or might come across. Abby even offered to keep Ali on the Digitalworks payroll in a consultant position, a job that Ali could work from Hawaii, but Ali politely declined. She needed a new start, she said. Working for Digitalworks meant long hours, and Ali knew that Ashlyn would not be happy with that, even if they were living in Hawaii and not Chicago. Ali turned in her key card and thanked Abby. They shook hands, and Abby wished her luck. As Ali was walking out of the Digitalworks office for the last time, she passed the north conference room. She glanced in and saw Pam talking with two junior co-workers. She shook her head and kept walking. As she took the elevator down for the last time, she thought about the lifestyle change she was about to make, and all of the implications that it meant. She knew she would never be the CEO of a large company. That was no longer in her future. But, that didn’t matter anymore. She had Ashlyn, and that’s what mattered most. As she exited the eighty story office building, she looked up one last time, smiled, and then walked back to her hotel room.

Ali had lunch with her mother two days before she left to go back to Hawaii. They spoke for the entire afternoon. The move came as a surprise to Debbie, who, despite her support, hadn’t foreseen such a drastic maneuver. She was in tears, thinking about her little baby girl moving so far away, but Ali promised to call often. Plus, Ali reminded her mother, it was partially her talk with Ali that had given Ali the resolve to chase Ashlyn down and commit to being with her, no matter what she might have to do to make things work. Ali told her mother she would visit as soon as she got settled and adjusted to life in Hawaii, maybe in a year or next holiday season. They hugged a long embrace, and then Ali jumped on the L for the hour-long ride back to the city.

On her last night in Chicago, Ali went out to dinner with Megan, Tobin and Carli. They ate deep dish pizza and then went dancing. They stayed out till 2am and then went for late night Chicago style hot dogs. The following morning, Ali checked out of her hotel room and hopped a cab to O’Hare. Thirteen hours later she stepped off the plane in Honolulu. Ashlyn was there to pick her up. They spent the night at Ali’s apartment, making love, holding each other and talking some more.

The next day, Ali started searching for employment. Oddly enough, her job lead came from Hope. After Ali and Ashlyn had reunited, Ashlyn had told Hope that Ali was moving to Hawaii and had a background in marketing. Hope didn’t know anything about marketing, but she did know that surfing magazines had ads in them, so she and a few of her crew paid a visit to the office of Hang Ten, the largest surfing magazine on the islands. They asked them where their ads came from. Through a conversation with an employee there who was a surfing enthusiast and who was trying to get into the lineup at some of the larger surf breaks where the KP patrolled, Hope found out that most of the ads in the magazine were purchased through a single local marketing agency, Aloha Marketing. Hope relayed the information to Ashlyn, who in turn told Ali. Ali called Aloha Marketing and talked her way into an interview, then visited their downtown Honolulu office, and they were so impressed with her that they hired her a week later. They created a new position for her, Director of Integrated Marketing. Ali had taken a huge paycut, and in all honesty Aloha was small time compared to Ali’s former employer, but business is business, and Ali’s first order of business was to grow Aloha’s client base. She went after the companies that advertised not only in local surfing magazines but also in tourist magazines, the local newspapers, and on local television and radio as well. Most of the companies that advertised in Hawaii were local companies – shops, activities, attractions, restaurants, banks, auto repair shops and service stations, realtors – and within a few months, she had made Aloha Marketing the local agency with the largest roster of local clients. In addition, Ali worked to grow Aloha’s digital business, taking Aloha’s clients that advertised predominately in magazines and newspapers and worked with them to expand their online marketing presence, mobile capabilities, social media reach and email campaigns. Coming from a large agency in a large marketing town, Ali’s experience and expertise was welcomed by Aloha, but she did have some trouble initially adjusting to the relaxed way things worked at the smaller agency. Eventually, though, she settled in to her new work environment. It was an adjustment for her, but she grew to like the flexible work hours, laid-back work ethic and casual dress code in the office. She got a kick out of seeing agency staff bolt out of the office at the drop of a hat to go surfing when the waves were good or fishing when the bite was on. Ditching work to go play was a foreign concept to her, but gradually she realized that, since most of the clients were local, if the staff was out, then the clients were probably out as well, and she would laugh to herself and remind herself that here people were working to live, not living to work. In addition, Abby regularly sent Ali lower-level freelance digital marketing jobs that she could work remotely. They were, in all honesty, below her pay grade, but it was extra income, and they only necessitated a few extra hours a week. She could work her job at Aloha Marketing, work these freelance jobs, and still not be working past 5pm or on the weekends. Most importantly, her new work life allowed her to spend as much time with Ashlyn as possible. No more working long evenings and weekends. 

After three months, Ali and Ashlyn realized that they had spent almost every night together, so Ashlyn moved into Ali’s apartment in Kaimuki, which was only slightly bigger than Ashlyn’s cottage, but had an actual separate bedroom with walls and a door. They stayed there together for another few months, and then they moved into a nicer two bedroom apartment in the Ala Moana area, right near Kewalo Basin. It was in a high rise just off Kapiolani Boulevard and had a doorman in the lobby. It was still smaller than Ali’s former apartment in Chicago, but it was considerably larger than the one bedroom they had moved from, and the location was great, especially for Ashlyn. On the days she worked as a deckhand on John John’s brother’s fishing boat, she could walk from home to the boat in under five minutes, which was nice, considering that fishing days sometimes started before dawn. This apartment was also closer to the Aloha Marketing office as well, and on most days Ali walked the twenty minutes to work. 

For her part, despite all of the things that did not go right in Chicago, Ashlyn did pick up one thing from Ali. She decided to think ahead a bit and do something that would stretch her mind and open up her options to career choices outside of surf instructor, fishing boat deckhand, and lifeguard. She enrolled in classes at the University of Hawaii, and started working towards a degree in Marine Biology. It was strange being back in school, she thought. Ashlyn hadn’t seen the inside of a classroom in over a decade, but she found that she actually enjoyed what she was studying, so she paid attention and studied hard. She thought about working at the Waikiki Aquarium when she graduated, or maybe even at Sea Life Park, in their rescue and rehabilitation program for wayward dolphins and other marine life. She even thought about maybe getting her master’s degree and teaching at Kapiolani Community College. But right now, she thought, I have to get past this damn anatomy course.

 

********

 

In December, five months later after Ali had moved to Hawaii, Ashlyn came home one evening from class to find Ali sitting on couch, looking sad. She sat on the couch next to Ali and gave her a kiss.

“Hey beautiful, are you okay?” Ashlyn asked Ali.

“I miss home”, Ali said.

“Awww…I’m sorry”, Ashlyn said. She reached over and nestled Ali into her arms. “What do you miss about home, Al?”

“I don’t know. Everything”, Ali said and pouted.

Ashlyn knew that Ali didn’t miss everything about Chicago, but that she was just having an “I miss home” moment. Ashlyn had experienced quite a few of those herself during her time in Chicago.

“I’m sorry beautiful”, Ashlyn said again, and nestled Ali into her arms.

“Well, not everything, I guess", Ali said. "But I do miss my friends, my mom, deep dish pizza, hot dogs, seeing snow for Christmas…” Ali trailed off. She had agreed with Ashlyn to spend the holidays in Hawaii with Ashlyn’s ohana. It was her first holiday season away from home, and she was feeling homesick.

“Well, okay. Your friends and mother I can’t do much about, but I do have a surprise for you”, Ashlyn said. “I’ll be right back.” She kissed Ali, got up off the couch, grabbed her car keys and went out to the car. She came back a minute later.

“Whoaaaaa!” Ali’s jaw dropped.

In Ashlyn’s hands was a large frozen deep dish pizza. “I just picked it up from my aunt’s”, Ashlyn said. She had anticipated that, since the holidays were approaching, Ali might start feeling homesick, so she had ordered a frozen pizza online to bring Ali a taste of home. “I ordered it like a week ago and had it delivered there. I was going to deliver it here, to the apartment, but I didn’t want the doorman in the lobby to eat it”, Ashlyn said and smiled.

“Oh my God, babe, that’s soooo awesome!” Ali cooed. She wasn’t sure if she was more excited about the pizza itself or that Ashlyn had thought enough to realize that Ali may have been missing Chicago and therefore took it upon herself to get Ali a little taste of home. She got up off the couch and took the pizza from Ashlyn. She set it on the small dining table and then came back to Ashlyn and wrapped her arms around Ashlyn’s neck. Ashlyn’s arms went around Ali’s waist, and Ali leaned in and kissed Ashlyn. “Thank you, babe”, she said, her voice full of appreciation.

“You’re welcome, beautiful”, Ashlyn said. She kissed her girlfriend back and then said, “So…you hungry?”

 

********

 

“Ow!” Ali said, as she picked herself up off of the slope. “That hurt.”

It was the weekend after Ashlyn had brought Ali the deep dish pizza. For the second part of the cure for Ali’s “I miss home” moment, Ashlyn had bought two plane tickets to the Big Island so they could go snowboarding on Mauna Kea. At 13,700 feet, Mauna Kea was the highest point in all of Hawaii, and the only snow resort on the islands. Ali and Ashlyn had left Friday afternoon. They flew an hour to Hilo, on the east coast of the Big Island, and spent the night in a hotel, then rented a car and drove 90 minutes to Mauna Kea on Saturday morning. They had rented snowboards and snow suits for the day, and had been on the slopes for about three hours.

“Awww…beautiful”, Ashlyn said. “Are you okay?”

“My butt hurts”, Ali said and pouted.

“Awww…I’ll massage it later and make it feel better”, Ashlyn said and winked.

“God, I suck at this”, Ali said. Growing up, she had gone skiing a bunch of times at the winter resorts in Wisconsin, but this was her first time trying snowboarding. Ashlyn told her that her ability to surf would help her pick it up, but Ali was finding snowboarding a lot harder than surfing. Plus, it hurt more when she fell. Ashlyn wasn’t nearly as good at snowboarding as she was a surfing, but at least she wasn’t falling every thirty seconds.

“Well, I know you said you missed seeing snow, so at least today you get to see a lot of it, often, up close and personal”, Ashlyn joked. 

“Whatever, ass”, Ali said and narrowed her eyes.

Ashlyn laughed. “C’mon, beautiful. You’re doing good. You’ll get the hang of it.” She helped Ali up, gave her a kiss for encouragement, and then lead them down the hill.

They spent the rest of the day snowboarding and then drove an hour to Kailua-Kona, on the west coast of the island. Their plan was to stay the night in Kona and then wake up early to go marlin fishing on the famed Kona coast in the morning, then head back to Honolulu on an afternoon flight.

“Did you know”, Ashlyn asked Ali as they were driving down from Mauna Kea to Kailua-Kona, “that the Big Island of Hawaii may be the only place in the world where it’s actually possible to snowboard, surf, and catch a thousand pound marlin all in one day?”

“No”, Ali said. She thought about that for a moment. “Wow, that’s pretty cool.”

Ashlyn looked at her and smiled, as she and Ali drove west down the mountain towards a beautiful Kona sunset. Wow, Ali thought, as she looked at the burning orange globe sinking into the ocean. As the last of the sun sank below the horizon, the clouds in the sky burst into brilliant hues of red, orange and purple. That’s pretty cool, too.

 

********

 

A year after Ali’s move to Hawaii, Ali and Ashlyn had pretty much fully adjusted to life together on the island. They went to their jobs and classes during the weekdays. On Ali’s part, the pay at Aloha Marketing was considerably less than what she had been making at Digitalworks, and that, coupled with the general high cost of living in Hawaii, meant a reduction in lifestyle extravagance. That meant less clothes shopping, a less expensive car, less vacations, and less going out to restaurants and clubs. But, as time passed, Ali noticed less of what she was missing and began to really enjoy her less-material life on the islands. She enjoyed rarely worked past 5pm and having dinner together with Ashlyn every night. Ali loved cooking and had come to really enjoy stretching her cooking skills at home with the local ingredients, as opposed to constantly going out to eat. One of the things that Ali realized about herself was that her desire to go out and spend money when she lived in Chicago seemed to have been tied to the fact that she used to work long hours. It was almost as if working so many hours created a need in her to have to go out in order to blow off steam. It was amazing what you could do with so much free time when you're not working all the time, Ali thought. She loved spending the time to cook at home, and the food just tasted so much fresher here, she thought, as she incorporated fresh seafood, fruits and vegetables into their daily meals. They had weekly dinners at Christie’s with the ohana. Ali became friends with Whitney, and she found that even Hope, despite her intimidating demeanor, was pleasant to be around. On the weekends, Ali and Ashlyn spent most of their time surfing, fishing and hiking. Ashlyn showed Ali some of the more off-the-beaten-path hiking trails, and the two of them would often explore a trail, and in doing so each other, for an entire day, and sometimes for an entire weekend. Ali had become quite an avid surfer, and even though she was nowhere near as good as Ashlyn, she worked her way up to riding some of the larger breaks. When the lineup was heavy, Hope and her crew would block for her and make sure she got some good waves. Ali had also become quite a fishing enthusiast, and she often accompanied Ashlyn, John John, and John John’s brother, whose name was Clint, on their fishing trips. To date, Ali’s largest catch was a one hundred and fifty six pound ahi yellowfin tuna, and on another trip she had helped Ashlyn wire and gaff a four hundred pound marlin after a two hour battle that had John John sweating it out in the fighting chair and Clint at the helm. Boating the huge beast had given Ali an adrenaline rush the likes of which she had never felt. It had been a battle, and it had taken the four of them working together, but as Ali had looked around at her boat mates, she had thought with a smile, these are the best work partners I’ve ever had.

 

********

 

Epilogue 2

6 months later:

“So, how does it feel to be back?” Ali asked.

Ali and Ashlyn were at the Sears Tower, the tallest building in Chicago. A year and a half had passed since Ali had moved to Hawaii. They were standing on the observatory deck, at the top of the building, which afforded them a spectacular 360 degree view of the entire city.

“It feels…good. I mean, you know, I was a little nervous to come back, since, well…my experience living here wasn’t so great, but now that we are happily together” she nudged Ali, who smiled, “I’m enjoying my visit”, Ashlyn said, “even though it’s cold”. This was Ashlyn’s first visit back to Chicago since she had left. Ali had come back eight months earlier in the spring to visit her mother and friends. Ashlyn had not come back with her on that visit, partly because of school, and partly because she wasn’t sure if visiting Chicago would bring back unpleasant memories and feelings that she wasn't yet ready to face. But, after eight more months, Ashlyn realized that she should be able to visit, and since she and Ali had spent the previous holiday season in Hawaii, they were now spending the holidays in Chicago with their friends and Ali’s mother. They had taken the first few days to visit some of their old haunts. Snow was on the ground, baseball season was long gone, and it was too cold to go to the zoo, but they did go to the aquarium and the Art Institute. Yesterday, Ali and Ashlyn had split up to go shopping. Ali had told Ashlyn she needed to shop for Ashlyn’s Christmas present. Ali saying that reminded Ashlyn that she actually needed to shop for Ali’s present as well, so the two lovers went their separate ways for the day. Ali met up with Megan, and Ashlyn went with Tobin and Carli. The two parties had met up in the evening at Gino’s Pizza for dinner.

“Well, I’m glad, babe”, Ali said. She moved behind Ashlyn and put her arms around Ashlyn’s waist. They both looked out onto the east view, over the loop and onto the lake. Ali nuzzled the back of Ashlyn’s neck, and Ashlyn sighed contently and smiled.

“Hey”, Ali said, “Want me to show you a cool trick?”

“What kind of trick?” Ashlyn said.

“You know how the Sears Tower is like the tallest building in Chicago, right?” Ali asked.

“Yeah, you told me that when we came up here.”

“Well, there’s like this cool optical illusion thing that you can do up here. I can’t really explain what it is, but you just have to see for yourself. If you do it, you'll feel like you're floating over the city”, Ali said.

“Uh…okay”, Ashlyn said, a little confused, but also intrigued. “So, how does it work?”

“First – you have to close your eyes”, Ali said. Ashlyn did so, and Ali let go of her from behind. “Keep them closed for like thirty seconds.”

“Okay”, Ashlyn said, and started counting to thirty. She got to thirty and then said, “Okay, now what?”

“Open your eyes and look down”, Ali said.

Ashlyn opened her eyes and looked down. And her jaw dropped.

Ali was in front of her, down on one knee. In the palm of her right hand was a small box, and in the box was an engagement ring. Two arched dolphins joined together comprised the ring itself. A small diamond was set on top. Ashlyn gasped, and Ali smiled. A Christmas present wasn't the only thing that Ali had gotten Ashlyn yesterday. A crowd started to gather.

“Ashlyn Harris”, Ali began. “Just over a year and a half ago, I met you on a beach in Hawaii. You saved my life. Literally. Three months after we met, you saved my life again. Not physically that time, but you saved something just as important. You showed me what living life is really all about. Since then, you have been the most important person in my world. My happiness. My inspiration. My love. I love you so much, and I can’t imagine my life without you.”

Ashlyn stood there in shock. She couldn’t believe this was happening. She put her hands to her mouth, and tears of joy started pouring out of her eyes. Ali looked up at Ashlyn and thought about how, when Ashlyn had taken her surfing for the first time, Ashlyn had told her she had a trick to help her stand up on the board, and then Ashlyn had leaned in to kiss her while they were floating on their boards in the water, the swell gently rising and falling beneath them. Ali thought about how she just told Ashlyn that she had a “cool trick” to show her, and she silently congratulated herself on the clever setup and tie-in.

“Ashlyn Michelle Harris”, Ali said and paused. “Will you marry me?”

Ashlyn stood there motionless for a moment longer, then removed her hands from her mouth and extended her hand towards Ali. “Y-y-y-yes!”, she squeaked out. Ali smiled the widest smile of her life, then took the ring out of the box and slid it onto Ashlyn’s finger. It fit perfectly. Ashlyn let out a small gasp as Ali slid the ring on, then turned her hand a few times to admire it. She looked at Ali. Ali was right, she thought. I do feel like I'm floating. I'm on top of the world right now.

Ali rose and put her arms around Ashlyn’s waist, as Ashlyn’s arms went around Ali’s neck. “I love you, baby”, Ali said.

“I love you too, beautiful”, Ashlyn said back.

Then Ali leaned in to kiss Ashlyn, and the observatory deck broke into applause.

 

********

 

6 months later:

“Hey beautiful, are you ready? We’re going to be late”, Ashlyn called into the bedroom from the living room.

“Okay, okay, I’m coming”, Ali called from the bedroom. Ashlyn smiled a bit and laughed to herself. Ali was nervous. Ashlyn thought back to the night in Chicago when she and Ali had gone to dinner with all of Ali’s friends so Ashlyn could meet them all for the first time, and how nervous she had been. Now, it was Ali’s turn to be nervous, and Ashlyn didn’t blame her.

Ali came out of the bedroom. She was wearing a black dress and black high heels. Ashlyn was wearing a black suit with a red shirt and black dress boots.

“Baby – we don’t have to go, if you really don’t want to”, Ashlyn said.

“No, I’ll go. I mean, I want to go. Or, I mean, I want to be able to go. Or, I mean, I want to be able to want to go. Or something. I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m saying.” Ashlyn didn’t say anything, so Ali took a deep breath. I should be able to do this. After two years, I should be able to do this. She squared her shoulders and said, “Okay, I’m ready to go. Okay. Let’s go.” 

Ashlyn smiled at her reassuringly. She and Ali were on their way to Blaisdell Arena, the largest concert venue in Honolulu, to See Christen’s band play. Almost a year after Ashlyn had met Christen, Christen had been hanging out at a bar in Chicago, when she was approached by two patrons who worked at an advertising agency. They were filming a commercial for Budweiser, and they were looking for female talent who looked like they played in a rock band. Christen auditioned for a part in the commercial and landed it. While they were filming, she got to talking with the producer of the commercial, and she gave him her band’s demo CD. The producer passed it along to one of his friends who was a talent scout at Interscope Records in Los Angeles. The scout was impressed with the music and flew out to see Christen’s band play at Metro in Chicago. The scout flew the band to Los Angeles two weeks later to meet the head of A&R, and the band signed a record deal. They spent the next six months writing and recording their major label debut album, and then the label put them on tour, and they had been on tour ever since. Now, Blackheart, as Christen’s band was called, were supporting Green Day on a world tour that was taking them across the Americas and then over to Hawaii, Asia, Australia and then Europe. Ashlyn had overheard some people a month ago at school talking about a hot new band from Chicago with a female bass player that was coming to Hawaii on tour with Green Day, and something had clicked. She went online and verified that it was in fact Christen who they had been talking about. Ashlyn hadn’t spoken with Christen since she had left Chicago, two years ago, but she emailed Christen through the band’s website to say congratulations. To Ashlyn’s surprise, Christen responded within an hour. The two women traded emails for a week, catching up with each other, and then Christen had asked Ashlyn if she wanted some free tickets and backstage passes to see Blackheart play when they came to Hawaii. Ashlyn had wanted to go, but she had to ask Ali. She had been nervous about bringing it up, and she was prepared for Ali to say no, if not become upset altogether, but Ali surprised her by saying that, not only would she be alright if Ashlyn went, but that she would like to go herself as well. Now, they were just about out the door, but Ali had been on edge the whole day. Ashlyn understood and had given Ali multiple chances to back out, but Ali finally seemed to have squared it away in her own mind that she was going to go. I need to go, Ali thought. I need to make sure that I’m over this. Ashlyn took Ali’s hand, and they walked out the front door.

“Just, promise me…that you’re not going to run off with a rock star tonight", Ali joked. 

Ashlyn stopped them and turned to look at Ali. “Beautiful – I’m not going to run off with anybody…except you”, she said. Ali smiled slightly, and Ashlyn gave her a prolonged kiss for affirmation.

They walked to the arena, which was less than half a mile from their apartment. They got their tickets and backstage passes from will call and entered the arena. Christen had reserved prime seats for them, front row on the mezzanine level. It provided them with a great view of the stage, and it was off the crowded main floor. Ali and Ashlyn took their seats and looked around. The average age of the attendees seemed to be somewhere in high school, and the air was heavy with smoke.

“I haven’t been to a concert like this in ages” Ali said. “God, I feel old.”

“I hear you, baby”, Ashlyn said. “I haven’t been here in like fifteen years. I think the last time I was here, I was the age that most of these kids here are.” Ali smiled a God-we're-getting-old smile, and Ashlyn leaned over to give her a kiss. As she did, the lights went down, and the crowd roared to life.  
“Good evening, Honolulu!” Landon's voice boomed through the arena. “We are Blackheart, from Chicago Illinois!”

“Woohoo!” Ashlyn cheered. She grabbed Ali’s hand, stood up, and raised her free hand in the air.

 

********

 

After the show, Ali and Ashlyn walked over to the stage. They showed their passes to security and were ushered into the backstage area. They were in a reception area with about fifty other people milling around when Ashlyn heard Christen’s voice.

“Hey guys!” Christen said as she walked over. She smiled wide at both Ashlyn and Ali. Ashlyn wasn’t sure if she should hug Christen, so she extended her hand, and Christen shook it.

“Christen, this is Ali”, Ashlyn said.

“Nice to meet you, Ali”, Christen said, her voice cheerful.

“Nice to meet you too, Christen. Great show, by the way", Ali said, and she meant it. The band really was very good.

“Thank you, Ali”, Christen said appreciatively.

“Yeah, it was great”, Ashlyn said. “You guys have really come a long way. I mean, you guys were good when I first saw you in Chicago, but now…I mean, you guys are like professionals.”

“Awww, thanks. I’m so glad you guys came”, Christen said, genuinely happy that both Ashlyn and Ali had attended. “Oh yeah - I hear congratulations are in order”, she said, pointing at the ring on Ashlyn's finger. Ashlyn had told Christen in their email exchanges about Ali proposing at the top of the Sears Tower.

“Christen!” A female voice cut through the noise in the reception area. The women looked over and saw a woman in a business suit motioning to Christen. “Photo op in the dressing room in 5 minutes, then we’re heading to the merch area to sign autographs.”

“Okay, I’m coming”, Christen yelled back. She turned back to Ali and Ashlyn. “That’s Heather, the band manager. She’s got us on a short leash.” She gave an apologetic smile.

“Well, it looks like you’re busy, so we’ll let you get back to it”, Ashlyn said. “But…it was a great show, and it was so nice to see you again.” She went to hug Christen, but then looked at Ali.

Ali looked at Ashlyn, and then rolled her eyes and smiled. “Yes, hon, it’s totally fine if you hug Christen in front of me.”

Ashlyn and Christen both laughed, and Ashlyn wrapped Christen up in a hug. They broke the hug, and then Christen went to hug Ali.

“Thank you, Ali”, Christen said, as Ali pulled her in.

As they were ear to ear, Ali whispered, “I think it would be great if you would stand on Ashlyn’s side at our wedding.” Christen pulled back, a look of shock on her face. Ali winked and took Ashlyn’s hand, and the two of them turned around and walked away.

“What did you say to her, beautiful?” Ashlyn asked. She had registered Christen’s shocked look as Ali and Christen had finished hugging.

Ali smiled and gave Ashlyn a kiss. “I’ll tell you later, babe”, she said.

 

********

 

10 months later:

“Congratulations babe”, Ali said, as she hugged Ashlyn and gave her a kiss. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Awww, thank you, beautiful”, Ashlyn said. They were on the open green at the University Of Hawaii, just outside the admissions hall. Ashlyn stood in front of Ali and Christie, wearing her black cap and gown. After her first semester in college, Ashlyn had entered an accelerated program and had graduated from UH in 3 years with her Bachelors degree in Marine Biology. Ali, being the nerd that she is, was ecstatic that Ashlyn had found an educational pursuit that she enjoyed, and she had supported Ashlyn’s decision to stop working so she could concentrate on school full time. Ali made enough at Aloha Marketing to support both of them while Ashlyn crushed her way through the accelerated program. A month before her graduation, Ashlyn had lined up a job at Sea Life Park, working in their rescue and rehabilitation program for local marine life gone astray.

“Congratulations keiki”, Christie said and hugged Ashlyn. She looked at Ashlyn and smiled with pride.

“Thanks, Auntie”, Ashlyn said. “You know, it only took me 13 years to graduate college, but, well, some people just take longer than others”, she said, looking at Ali, then smiled.

Ali laughed, and Christie said, “Awww, keiki. It doesn’t matter how long it takes. The most important thing is that you enjoy what you’re doing."

“Absolutely”, Ali agreed. The three of them hugged, and then walked to the car to head back to Christie’s for Ashlyn’s graduation celebration. John John and Clint were bringing fresh Ahi tuna. Hope was already there, making Kalua Pork and lau lau. She had started cooking in the early morning. It was going to be a good party, Ali thought.

 

********

 

2 months later:

“Hey, how do you feel?” Ali asked.

Ali and Ashlyn were sitting in a rental car in Satellite Beach, FL. They had departed Hawaii yesterday morning and had flown in to Melbourne International Airport. They had arrived late last night local time and had stayed in a hotel near the airport. They had slept in this morning and were now parked on the street right outside of Ashlyn’s old house. It was the house in which Ashlyn had grown up for the first fourteen years of her life. Ashlyn hadn’t seen it since she had left for Hawaii.

Ashlyn sat silent for a moment and then said, “I think I’m okay.” Ali was holding Ashlyn’s hand, and she squeezed it for support. Ashlyn looked over at Ali, and Ali leaned in to give her a kiss.

“It’s okay, babe”, Ali said. “I’m here for whatever you need me for.”

Ashlyn tried to smile. Then she took a deep breath, put on a brave face, and said, “Okay, I’m ready.” She opened her car door and stepped out. Ali got out, walked around the car and took Ashlyn’s hand. Ashlyn stepped onto the sidewalk and then walked halfway up the driveway. She looked at the two story white stucco house with green trim. It looked pretty much the same as it had when she had left. She looked at the front door and imagined her father sitting on the front steps, watching her as she played in the front yard as a child. She looked up to the second floor and imagined her mother smiling and waving at her from her bedroom window as she had done every day when Ashlyn left for school in the morning. She looked at the window above the garage and imagined herself in her old bedroom, laying on her bed and watching soccer on the TV in her room. Tears started to well up in Ashlyn’s eyes, and Ali let go of her hand, pulled her into a hug and held her tight.

“Excuse me, can I help you?”

Ali and Ashlyn looked up. An elderly man was standing in the front doorway of the house. It took Ashlyn a moment to realize that she had walked up to the middle of the driveway and was now standing on property that currently belonged to someone else.

“Oh no, it’s okay”, Ali said, as cheerfully as she could.

“I-I-I used to live here, in this house”, Ashlyn said. “I’m just…showing her around the old neighborhood”, she said, pointing to Ali. “Reminiscing…” Ashlyn mumbled, trailing off.

“Oh, well, okay”, the elderly man said and smiled. “Well, it’s a nice community”, the man said, making chit chat. Ashlyn smiled slightly, and the man bade them farewell. “Stay as long as you want”, he said, then went back inside and shut the door.

Ashlyn and Ali stood there for a few minutes, and then Ashlyn said, “I think I’m ready to go.”

“Okay, babe”, Ali said. She took Ashlyn’s hand and gave her a kiss, then lead her back to the car. She opened Ashlyn’s door for her and then got in the driver’s side and headed off to the next location. They drove for fifteen minutes and then pulled up to Melbourne Cemetery. Ali stopped the car and then looked at Ashlyn. “Do you want company, or do you want to go alone?”

Ashlyn bit her lip. “No, I want company”, she said. They got out of the car, and Ali took Ashlyn’s hand again. They walked for a minute and then arrived at two headstones. Ashlyn let go of Ali’s hand. She stared in silence for a few minutes at the two headstones she hadn’t seen in eighteen years, and the tears welled up again in her eyes. She knelt down before the headstones and began to speak.

“Hi Mom, hi Dad. I’m here. I’m sorry I haven’t been here in so long. I-I-I was just…well, it hurt so bad, when you guys went away, that I followed Auntie Christie to Hawaii, and well…I just never returned. I hid there for a long time. I was too scared to come back. But then, three years ago, I met someone.” She looked at Ali. “She taught me how to be brave again. How to face my fears. And, most importantly, she taught me how to love again.” Tears started to fall from Ashlyn’s eyes and she looked back at the headstones. “She’s the most wonderful person in the world. I’m sorry you’re not around to meet her, but I know you would really like her, and she has promised to take good care of me.” Ali was crying now as well, and she knelt down next to Ashlyn and put her arms around her. Ashlyn stared at the ground right in front of the headstones for a few minutes in silence and then said, “So, I’m going to go now. But I want you to know that I love you guys, and I think of you often.” Ashlyn sat there for another minute in silence and then said, “Okay, bye Mom. Bye Dad.” Ashlyn got up and kissed each headstone once. She wiped the tears from her eyes, and then she turned to Ali. Ali pulled her in and they hugged for a full five minutes. Then Ali took Ashlyn’s hand and lead her back to the car.

“Are you okay, babe?” Ali asked when they got back in the car.

Ashlyn sat for a moment and then looked at Ali and smiled slightly. “Yeah”, she said. “Yeah, I think I actually am okay.”

They drove to the airport, dropped off the rental car, and hopped the 4pm flight back to Honolulu.

 

********

 

6 months later:

“By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you wife and wife. You may now kiss the bride”, the officiant proudly announced. Ali leaned in to kiss Ashlyn and the attendees erupted into applause. They were on a beach just east of Diamond Head, the same beach where Ashlyn had taken Ali on her first surfing trip. It was a small ceremony for just the ohana. Most of the attendees were locals from Ashlyn’s side. Debbie, Megan, Tobin, Carli and Christen had flown in from Chicago. Megan, Tobin and Carli stood up on Ali’s side. Debbie had walked Ali down the sand. Whitney, Hope and Christen stood up on Ashlyn’s side. Christie had walked Ashlyn down the sand. Fifty or so people sat on chairs set up on the beach, facing the wedding party, who were positioned against a backdrop of sparkling turquoise water. It was a beautiful December day in Hawaii: 76 degrees, the sun shining, a slight breeze blowing.

Ashlyn and Ali continued to kiss for another minute, and then Ashlyn broke the kiss. She was wearing a classy tux with a blue bowtie. She looked at Ali and said, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, so much”, Ali said back. She was wearing a traditional wedding dress with conservative matching white heels.

“So…are you ready?” Ashlyn asked.

“Yeah!” Ali said, excitedly, and her eyes lit up.

Ashlyn looked at Ali for another moment and then said, “Alright – let’s do it.” She grabbed Ali’s hand and then looked at the audience. “Thank you all so much. We’ll be back onshore in ten minutes!” Then she lead Ali by the hand, and the two of them took off running towards the water. Ali ditched her shoes, and Ashlyn ditched her shoes and jacket. They neared the waterline, grabbed the two waiting surfboards, jumped into the water and paddled out to take a celebratory ride with their clothes still on, their first ride together as a married couple.

 

********

 

3 years later:

Ashlyn sat on the beach, staring out at the ocean. It’s like it had all been a dream, she thought. A crazy, sometimes stressful, sometimes confusing, but in the end, thoroughly wonderful dream.

“Momma!”

Ashlyn heard the voice and turned around to see Ali and their daughter Leilani walking towards her down the sand. Ashlyn got up and scooped Leilani into her arms.

“Hi Lele”, Ashlyn said. She gave Leilani a kiss and then turned to Ali. “Hi beautiful”, she said. She gave Ali a kiss as well.

“Hi babe”, Ali said back and smiled. She was carrying a tote bag with stuff for their picnic. They were on Makapu’u Beach, just across the street from Sea Life Park, where Ashlyn was now the assistant director for their rescue and rehabilitation program for wayward local marine life. She had gotten off work early, and Leilani and Ali had come to meet her for an afternoon picnic. Ali was still working at Aloha Marketing, and it was times like this when she really appreciated the office's flexible schedule. She had gotten the call from Ashlyn just a few hours ago and had pushed all of her meetings and afternoon work til tomorrow. Ali spread out the blanket and then started pulling out the food: mango and pineapple fruit salad, lau lau, and Leliani’s favorite, Spam Musubi. Leilani grabbed a Spam Musubi from Ali’s hand and started to eat.

“ _Ono_ yummy", Leilani said through a mouthful of food.

“Leilani Harris-Krieger, don’t talk with your mouth full”, Ali scolded lightly.

Ashlyn looked at her. Ali was a wonderful mother, she thought. Then she looked at Leilani and smiled. She and Ali had wanted _hapa_ mixed children, so they had agreed to have Ali carry their first and find a Hawaiian donor. Leilani had Ali’s facial features and brown hair but a native islander's dark complexion. She was absolutely adorable.

“How was your day?” Ali asked Ashlyn as she sat down on the blanket.

“It was good”, Ashlyn replied. “We have a new wolphin we’ve been working with.”

“Wolphin?” Ali asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah. It’s a cross between a killer whale and a dolphin”, Ashlyn said.

Ali laughed. “It sounds like a creature from a Hawaiian science fiction movie.”

Ashlyn laughed too. “I know, it totally does.”

“Wolphin! Wolphin!” Leilani repeated.

“Uh oh”, Ali said. “A new word.”

“Yup”, Ashlyn shook her head, laughing. “We’ll be hearing that one constantly for, oh, I’d say about another week.” Leilani was at the age where she was picking up new words left and right, and she loved to repeat them until the next one came along.

“So, um, how are you feeling?” Ali asked Ashlyn. She put her hand to Ashlyn’s stomach.

“Pretty good”, Ashlyn said, “but I am really starting to notice the extra weight.”

Ashlyn was carrying their second child. She and Ali had agreed that Ashlyn would carry this one, since Ali had carried Leilani. They had also agreed that they wanted their children to be related, so they had used the same donor. Ashlyn was thirty weeks along. That would put Leilani and Kalani, as they had named their soon-to-be-born son, just under three years apart, which is the age difference they wanted.

“Oh! Did you see that?” Ashlyn put her arm around Leilani. Leilani looked up, and Ashlyn pointed towards the horizon. “There are whales out there, munchkin.”

“Whales! Whales!” Leilani repeated, her face excited, as she tried to spot them.

“Keep looking, Lele”, Ashlyn instructed. Ali, Ashlyn and Leilani all kept their eyes to the water, and then seconds later two humpback whales breached a few hundred yards offshore.

“I saw them! I saw them!” Leilani shouted. 

“You did?!” Ashlyn said excitedly, and kissed Leilani on the head. Ali looked at Ashlyn and smiled. She was a wonderful mother, Ali thought.

Leilani continued to look out into the water, eating her Spam Musubi. In the distance a lone surfer rode a wave.

“Mommy, what that person doing?”

“Surfing, munchkin”, Ali said.

Leilani was silent for a moment and then said, “I want to surf, Mommy”.

Ali looked at Leilani and then looked at Ashlyn. “Just like her Momma”, she said and smiled.

Ashlyn smiled back and then said, “No.” She leaned over Leilani and gave Ali a kiss. “She’s better. Because she’s just like you.”

Ali smiled at Ashlyn and gave her a kiss back. Then, she and Ashlyn turned their heads and joined Leilani in looking out towards the ocean. They stayed like that, talking, eating, and staring out into the water until the sun went down, a brilliant orange globe, sinking into the horizon, and Ali thought:

There’s magic on these islands.

THE END


End file.
